Guard of Honor by Tracie Delaney

Chapter Twenty-Four

Honor strolleddown the dock to where Mack had laid out a picnic. He dangled his feet in the water, and she did the same. Stealing an olive from the bowl, she popped it into her mouth.

“I can’t believe we’ve been here for two weeks already. It’s flown by.”

Mack poured orange juice into a wineglass and passed it to her. “And not a single strange episode.”

“Yeah, I know. I guess you were right. All I needed was a break away from everything, to breathe clean air and relax in these gorgeous surroundings.” She chewed on her lip thoughtfully. “Sometimes I feel as if it happened to someone else, especially as I can’t remember doing any of it. The mind is so odd, don’t you think?”

“Asking the wrong man, Red. Mine’s been fucked up for years.”

She sipped her juice, setting it down beside her. She placed her palms on the ground behind her and leaned back, tilting her head up to the sun. “I should put on a hat. Any more sun and I’ll be one big freckle.” Sitting upright, she drew figure eights in the water with her toes. “I think I want to go back.”

He nodded. “Took your time. Been waiting for you to tell me this for the last two days.”

“No, you haven’t,” she scoffed.

“I have. I’ve seen your mind whirring, and you’ve made the occasional comment. I knew you’d get there sooner or later.”

“I’m scared, though.”

“Bound to be. Doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. I happen to believe it is. You can’t hide out here forever. You’re not the same person you were.” He linked their fingers together. “Time to reclaim your life, Red.”

“You won’t leave me, will you?” she asked, a panicked edge to her tone.

“Not yet, no.”

“But eventually, you will.”

He curved his hand around the back of her neck, edging her closer to steal a kiss. “I’m not telling you anything new, Red. Your life is on a different track from mine. This… heat between us is electrifying—but temporary.”

“Yeah.” She stared across the lake to the other side, tracking a couple sliding their kayaks into the water.

“Want to know what I think?”

“If I said no, would it make a difference?”

He chuckled. “See, you’re learning.”

She rolled her eyes. “Go on, then. Share your wisdom.”

“What we have is fake.”

Her stomach hardened at his blunt declaration, and her heart seemed to momentarily stop beating. “Stab me in the chest, why don’t you?”

“Hear me out. We’re living in a bubble, and it’s been amazing. We’ve both slain a few demons these last couple of weeks, and while we have a few more to put down, we’re winning. But once normal life resumes, all this”—he gestured to their surroundings and then to her—“will turn into a distant memory, like it’s supposed to. My life is wherever Loris sends me next, and yours is out there, waiting for you to grab it with both hands. Don’t waste it on make-believe, Red. You have such a bright future ahead of you, and I’ll be watching with interest as you smash every goal you set for yourself.”

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered.

“I won’t, until you’re ready. And trust me, you will be ready. When that time comes, you won’t look back.”

“What if I told you I love you?” she blurted.

His eyes softened and he inclined his head. “I’d ask you to take a year and then call me if you still feel the same.”

“And if I did?”

“Speculation, Red. Like I said, if you wake up a year from now and feel exactly the same as you do this second, then pick up the phone and make the call.”

She sucked her lips between her teeth and pushed down the crushing feeling of rejection, right into the depths of her stomach where it belonged. If she allowed rational thought to take over, the evidence was overwhelming: Mack felt the same about her as she did about him, but he recognized that she’d cut herself off from the world for so long, and he didn’t want her to tie herself to him when it might not be what she truly wanted.

That stark fact only made her love him more.

“What’s your name?”

He frowned. “Are you high?”

She pulled a face at him. “Jerk. I mean your real name. Your full name. What your parents called you.”

“Aiden,” he replied. “Aiden Jack McKenzie.”

“Aiden,” she mused, angling her head. “I think I’ll stick with Mack.”

“Thank Christ.” He caged her beneath him and tugged down her top with his teeth. “I fucking hate the name Aiden.”

* * *

Mack steered the car onto the George Washington Bridge, leaving New Jersey in the rearview mirror. Honor had expected nerves to overcome her as they approached home, but instead, a sense of anticipation and hope swamped her. Well over a year had passed since her abduction, and her kidnapper hadn’t returned for her. Granted, she hadn’t left the house—until Mack had arrived—but she couldn’t deny a growing optimism that made her embrace a future that, just a few short weeks ago, she hadn’t thought possible.

Her legs and back ached from being in the car for so long. Mack had offered to stop, but she’d declined. She was eager to see Papa, and Lizzie. And she wanted to see how being back in her own house would affect her. There was a niggle, faint but present, that returning to the city where it had all happened would set her recovery back, and all the progress she’d made would disappear into a cloud of smoke.

Think positive thoughts.

She drew in a deep breath through her nose and pursed her lips to slowly release the air from her lungs. Mack laid a hand on her thigh.

“You hanging in there, Red?”

“Think so.” She picked at her thumbnail, regretting her action when she made it bleed. “Before we get there, I wanted to mention something.”

Mack shot her a sideways glance, his hand still casually resting on her leg. “Well, spit it out.”

She smiled at his forthright manner. Mack was a man whom her father would describe as “not one to suffer fools.” Having spent the last two weeks together twenty-four seven, she concurred. Hardly surprising, given his military background. She couldn’t imagine that many men who’d spent years in the Royal Marines would worry about speaking their minds.

“I’d like to keep us… what happened… private, if you don’t mind. Like you said, there’s no impending marriage proposal.” She laughed to hide an ache that bloomed every time she thought about Mack leaving. “I’d rather Papa remain oblivious. Lizzie, too. I know she saw us kissing before, but I don’t want anyone to know we slept together. Keeping quiet means fewer questions, especially after you’re gone. Easier. Cleaner.”

She heaved a sigh.

“Feel better?” Mack asked, a slight curve to his lips. “Now that you’ve got that off your chest?”

No.

“Yes.”

“Women.” He shook his head and sniggered. “As a species, you do like to overcomplicate things on occasion. Relax, Red. I don’t plan to march into your house and declare to your father that I’ve been fucking his only daughter. For one, I broke my own rule. And for another, it’s no one’s damned business but ours. We’re both adults.”

“Are you sorry that you broke your rule?”

He wrapped his hand around her wrist and kissed her fingers. “No. But your father might not agree, and he seems like a decent sort. I’d rather not fall out with him unnecessarily.”

“Good.” She nodded. “That’s good.”

It wasn’t good. It sucked. She could almost sense him slipping away, minute by minute, hour by hour, mile by mile. After he left, Papa would undoubtedly put her previous team back on her security detail. She couldn’t see a future that didn’t include having someone watching her back. Even if her kidnapper had slithered back under his rock, with a father as rich as hers, there might be others. All it took was for one brave—or reckless, depending on the point of view—person to show what was possible. Sure, her kidnapper hadn’t gotten away with the ransom and had come within a whisker of getting caught, but that wouldn’t necessarily put people off.

The fear of abduction wasn’t something she’d ever considered before it’d happened to her. And neither had her father. But now that it had, there would always be a doubt in the back of her mind that others might take a chance on making a fast buck at her expense.

Mack turned onto her street and parked in her private space outside her house. She peered out the car window at a house that had been more of a prison than a home. She’d adored this place once, and hopefully she would again. In time.

“Why don’t you go on in and I’ll grab the bags?” Mack suggested.

“Okay.”

She walked up the front steps, recalling how scared she’d been the first time Mack had encouraged her to take one step outside. It felt like a lifetime ago, yet the way she confidently jogged up each one now showed her how far she’d come. She knew she’d made great strides, but most of her progress had taken place in Lake Placid, not in Manhattan. Being back here could trigger another panic attack. Even if she was okay, it would take her a few days to acclimate to the change of scenery. With Mack beside her, though, she had enough strength within her. She could do this.

“Honor! Oh, Honor, I’m so glad you’re back.” Lizzie enveloped her in a bear hug, squeezing her tightly. “It’s been awful here without you, rattling around the place.”

“I told you, Lizzie. You should have taken Papa up on his offer to go work at his house while I was away.”

She shook her head. “I wanted to be here. I don’t expect payment, of course. I’ll take the time off my vacation days.”

“I won’t hear of it.” She linked arms with the other woman. “Let’s grab a cold drink. I have so much to tell you.”

Mack appeared with two of her cases, setting them down in the hallway. Lizzie’s face tightened, and she gave him a curt nod. “Mr. McKenzie.”

“Lizzie,” Mack replied, a sharpness to his tone that Honor had forgotten he possessed.

She suppressed a sigh. Time away hadn’t helped those two come to a truce. She still didn’t understand their mutual dislike, and neither one seemed capable of explaining why they felt the way they did about each other. They were both adults; they’d have to figure it out by themselves. She had enough shit of her own to deal with.

Honor shared some of the details of their trip, keeping her and Mack’s relationship to herself, as she’d intended. Lizzie was an astute woman, though, and Honor kept waiting for her to narrow her eyes in that way she had and call bullshit.

“The best thing, though,” Honor gushed, “is that the whole time I was away, nothing happened. No misplaced items or doing things I couldn’t remember. I felt like my old self again. The person I used to be. God, Lizzie, it felt so good. And now that I’m back, things will be different. I refuse to hide away in this house anymore. Life is for living, and I intend to live mine.”

“I’m pleased for you,” Lizzie said, although her eyes had lost their sparkle.

“You don’t look very pleased.”

“I am. Truly. It’s just…” Lizzie tucked her chin to her chest and stared at where her hands plucked at her skirt. “Will I still have a job?”

Honor tilted her head, taking the other woman’s icy fingers in hers. “Oh, Lizzie, there will always be a job for you. Whether it’s here or with my father. The Reids take care of their staff.”

Lizzie grimaced. “Staff.” She nodded. “Of course. Sorry, I got ahead of myself.”

Honor could’ve lashed herself for her insensitivity. “No, I’m the one who should apologize. I didn’t mean that the way it came out. You’re so special to me, Lizzie. A real friend when I had none.”

Lizzie sat woodenly, shifting her gaze from her lap to the window.

Honor inwardly cursed. This was supposed to be a happy homecoming. Hurting Lizzie wasn’t in the plan. “Hey, just think. Now that I’m feeling much better, maybe we can go to the theater and see a show. Remember, like we used to talk about?”

Lizzie brightened. “Oh, I’d love that.”

“Consider it done. I’ll make the arrangements.” She hesitated. “You know that Mack will have to come, too.”

Lizzie made a face. “We’ll be fine together. You and me. We don’t need him. I can look after you.”

A chuckle made its way up from her chest at how cute and thoughtful that was, but she smothered it. Lizzie acted tough, but she was far more delicate than she’d like people to know, and if she thought Honor found her genuine offer amusing, it would cut her deeply. Losing her parents had damaged Lizzie in a way Honor wasn’t sure she’d fully recognized yet, and Honor wasn’t going to be the one to break it to her. Lizzie would come to that conclusion in her own time.

“I’m aware you don’t like him, but, Lizzie, he’s done so much for me. And besides, do you really think Papa will allow me to go anywhere without a bodyguard?”

“No,” Lizzie said. “I don’t suppose he will.”

“Speaking of Papa, I’d best call him and tell him we’re back. I can’t wait to see him.”

“I’m sure he’s missed you terribly,” Lizzie murmured, standing. “I’ll make a start on dinner. You’ll no doubt be hungry after your drive.”

“Make sure you cook enough for Papa, too. I’m going to invite him over.”

Lizzie began to set up all manner of pots and pans, but something in her demeanor fired up Honor’s instincts.

“We’re okay, aren’t we, Lizzie?”

“Of course,” Lizzie said, but she didn’t even glance over her shoulder.

Honor waited for a minute or so, but when their conversation appeared to be over, she left Lizzie to it and went to call Papa.

An hour later, her father’s driver pulled up to the curb, parking directly in front of Mack’s SUV. Honor dashed to the front door to greet him. He got out, straightened his tie—so like Papa—and glanced up at her house.

And then he noticed her, standing on the top step, waiting, a beaming smile splitting her face in two. His hand went to his mouth and his eyes briefly closed, and then he tore up the steps and wrapped her in his arms.

“My baby,” he murmured. “God, my baby. I’m so proud of you.” Drawing back, he gripped her upper arms and gave her a thorough appraisal. “You’re outside. You’re actually outside.”

“Good spot, Papa.” She grinned. “I have been outside a fair bit. You know this.”

“But I haven’t seen it with my own eyes.” He kissed her forehead, then slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Now, let’s go eat. I hope Mack is joining us. I want to hear all about your clandestine trip.” He squeezed her playfully. “And the reason for the secrecy.”

She fired a frown at her father. “Don’t tease him.”

“Me?” He winked. “Never.”