Sultry Oblivion by Alexa Padgett
Aya
The next day, Nash announced that he was moving me back into his house and his bed, telling me he couldn’t stand another lonely night. I wasn’t sure of the wisdom of this, but now that we’d been together again, there was no putting out that flame. Nash had been back in my life for months now, and I didn’t want to go to bed alone anymore either.
So now I stood on the front porch of the Graces’ big house, soaking in a long hug from Mama Grace while Nash, Steve, and his bodyguards brought down my suitcases and other new clothes.
“Have you talked to him about the will?” Mama asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know how.”
“When the time’s right,” she said with a smile, but it seemed a bit forced. “Maybe I was wrong, Aya. Don’t hold back too long. Just be honest, and he should understand.”
I remained quiet on the way back to Nash’s place, trying to figure out how to bring up my mother’s will. I didn’t want him angry with my mum, but the longer I waited, the more I worried about him seeing this as a form of manipulation. Ultimately, the clause mattered not one bit. I just needed him to see that.
So I needed to tell him. Soon.
I collected Mayet once we entered the house, cuddling her close in an effort to subdue my anxiety. She wiggled from my arms when we reached Nash’s room, and she and Jigsaw tripped over each other while Nash positioned my suitcase near his closet. I set to work, and when my clothes were put away, Nash scooped up a kitten in each hand.
“They’re awesome little deviants,” he said, rubbing his cheek against Jigsaw’s fur, then Mayet’s.
I reached for Jigsaw and cuddled him to my chest, enjoying the deep purr.
Nash stepped in closer, angling his body toward mine. “You belong here.”
I tilted my head, exposing my parted, waiting lips as well as my neck to Nash’s hungry gaze. “Do I?”
“Mmm… Yes.”
My lips twitched into a grin. “You going to show me how much?”
He narrowed his eyes as he pressed his hips to mine. My smile grew. “That seems like a lot.”
Nash set Mayet down and took Jigsaw from me. With a soft pat to their heads, he turned back, gathering me in his arms. I ran my fingers through the short hairs at the nape of his neck.
“I’d stay inside you all day if you’d let me,” he mumbled.
My breath hitched as I envisioned his plan.
“Ay, you’re supposed to be the voice of reason.”
“Well, I can’t be. I want you too much.”
He kissed along the column of my throat. “I want you, too.”
The next weekpassed with us focused solely on each other, but then real life intruded. As much as Nash didn’t like it, he needed to attend band rehearsal. He, Bridger, and Jax had hired a new bass player named Maddox, who needed time with the guys to see if they’d click.
I listed Nash’s rising anxiety among my reasons for not bringing up my mum’s will.
More days passed, and I went to my classes while Nash and his bandmates recorded three songs for their fourth album, so each day was busier than the last.
He flopped down on the couch in the library next to me at about ten one night, exhausted but his face glowing with excitement. “We laid down an amazing track today,” he said, turning to look at me. His eyes were alight, the storms nonexistent.
I set aside my textbook and moved closer, resting my cheek on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. “Which one?”
“‘Breaking with Dawn.’ It’s bad juju to say it’s going to be a hit. Otherwise I would.”
I smiled as I caressed his cheek, my fingers trailing down his jaw. “I know it’s going to be a hit. The lyrics are gorgeous, the melody hauntingly beautiful.”
He gripped my waist and lifted me to straddle his thighs. “You’re beautiful.”
He brushed his lips over mine. Once, and then again. I melted. All thoughts of talking to Nash about my mother’s will vanished under his soft lips and nimble fingers. I cried out in pleasure, peaking twice before Nash carried me to his bed.
I wokethe next morning determined to talk to him. We were happy, we were in love. We could discuss and discard my mother’s strange demands. I mean, it’s not like we needed the money. We’d just ignore the clause, go about our business, and lots of charities would benefit. It would have no bearing on our decision whether or not to have children. I would make sure Nash understood that.
But he was already gone—back in the studio, his note said. I sighed, shoulders sagging.
Jenna called before I made it out of the bedroom.
“Hey, girlie. Kate and I thought we’d go shopping after lunch, then hit up happy hour—well, mocktail hour for preggers-me—before we need to meet the guys at the show.”
Cam and Rye were bringing their wives to Nash’s intimate performance at Antone’s in an effort to ensure Maddox had the band’s cues down before they restarted their postponed touring from when Nash had gone to rehab.
My nerves jangled, but I smiled. This wouldn’t be like the last time Nash and I were together before a tour. We were more mature now and knew what we wanted. We’d been working hard on this.
“Um…yeah, sure,” I told her. “I finish with my classes at one.”
“Great! We’ll swing by to collect you on campus, then. Does that work?”
I heaved out a long breath; I really needed their advice. “I love that idea.”
“Thought you might. So, who’s your shadow? Be sure to tell ’em you’re riding with us to the show.”
“Steve, I think. He’s been bored around the house.”
“You’re trying to get Nash to talk to him?”
“No. I’ve mentioned it, but Nash hates manipulation, so I’m leaving it alone. He’s been through so much, Jenna. I don’t want to bring up bad memories. It needs to be his decision when he’s ready to do it.”
“With a childhood like Nash’s, it’s all a minefield. I think you can encourage without manipulating…” Jenna didn’t sound convinced. “But either way, Steve should see his son perform, so that’s good.”
“Is there a dress code to this place?” I asked. “I mean, I know we’re going shopping, but if I don’t find anything to wear, I need to be ready.”
Jenna chuckled. “Honey, this is Austin. Jeans are pretty much a given for all occasions.”
I smiled. “Show me what you’re wearing, then.”
She hung up, then called back with the video feature. She twirled, showing off her cute jean skirt that hit just above her knee on the right side and slid down to mid-calf on the left. Her maternity top was soft chenille in a dark rose that cinched in tight under her large bump before following the line of her skirt. She’d paired it with black cowboy boots.
I nodded. “I like the vibe. Casual but still elegant.”
Jenna laughed. “If that’s what you want to call it. I consider it comfortable, especially now that I’m carrying around a bowling ball.”
I carried her with me to my closet. “That, too.”
I flipped through my clothes and chatted with her before settling on a pair of denim capri pants and a white, gauzy top with chunky-heeled sandals, which I tossed in a bag to put on later. The engineering students would see me in jeans and a tee, as they did most days. I said goodbye and headed off to class.
“You clean up good, Aya,”Jenna said as I slid into the back of her SUV a few hours later, thankful to be out of the oppressive August heat.
Steve took the extra seat in the front, next to Chuck.
“Thanks. Probably those years in high society.” I tossed Jenna a smile so she knew I was teasing. I rolled my scarf length-wise, then folded it in half and twisted. I settled it at the top of my head as Jenna grabbed my hair, tugging the long expanse away from my head so I could knot the ends of the scarf, which still dangled down to my shoulder. She let my hair fall as Kate wolf whistled.
Kate leaned around Jenna so I could see her face. “Nash is a lucky devil. You’re one hot lady, Aya,” she said with a wink.
I grinned. “You know, I’ve smiled more since being here than I did all the years I was in England.”
Jenna gave me a look. “All the more reason to get out of England, then.”
“I haven’t told him about my mum’s will yet,” I blurted. The weight of that sat heavily on my shoulders. “I have to do it. He’s going to be upset, think I’m intentionally keeping it from him.”
“Well, aren’t you?” Jenna asked.
“You’re the one who suggested I wait,” I exclaimed.
“Nope. That was Mama Grace because you were in tears when Nash shut you down over kids.”
I met Steve’s eyes in the rearview mirror, and his held a world of hurt. He had to know at least part of Nash’s reasoning was rooted in his childhood and their relationship.
“I’m scared.” My voice came out small.
“No use worrying over something you didn’t do and can’t change,” Jenna said.
“I vote you just tell him,” Kate added. “This has you too worked up.”
“Nash is happier than I’ve ever seen him,” Jenna said. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know if I can keep him that way,” I said.
Jenna shook her head. “That’s not your job, Aya. You love him—that’s where you focus your attention and energy. But another person’s happiness is too great a weight to bear.”
I placed my hands at my stomach and wondered over the heaviness that had settled there.