Bound By Her Shocking Secret by Abby Green
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MIAWINCEDASshe contorted herself again in front of the mirror in the dressing room. It was no good. She needed help to get out of the dress but she’d sent Odile home when she’d arrived back a short time before, and she wasn’t about to scandalise Paul, so she would have to wait.
She’d done her best to comb the gel out of her hair, but washing it would have to wait too. At least it didn’t feel as if it was shrink-wrapped to her head any more.
She felt bad about leaving the party early, but—
She heard a noise and looked up. Daniel stood in the doorway, looking a little wild-eyed. ‘You’re here,’ he said.
Mia felt guilty. ‘Sorry. I just... It all got a bit overwhelming. I went out to get some air and saw the driver. I asked him to bring me home. I sent you a text.’
Daniel pulled out his phone as if he’d never seen it before.
Mia said, ‘You should go back. I’m sorry for pulling you away.’
Daniel put his phone back and shook his head as he tugged his bowtie loose. ‘The speech is done. No one will notice I’m gone at this stage.’
Mia doubted that very much. ‘You should go back,’ she repeated. ‘It’s a big night.’
He said, ‘I’ll go back if you come with me.’
Mia pointed to her undone hair. And then her bare feet. ‘Like this? I don’t think your board would approve of the “before” version of the model in their campaign.’
Daniel walked towards Mia. ‘I think the “before” version is better.’
She swallowed. ‘Daniel, I’m serious. You should be there.’
He stopped just inches away. Mia had to look up.
He said, ‘I’m perfectly happy here.’
There was a volatile energy coming off Daniel that Mia had never noticed before. He was always so in control. Even when he lost control. But this connected with something equally volatile in her. The desperation that had led her to say what she had earlier. And she still didn’t know what Daniel thought about it.
‘Daniel, we should talk...about what I said...’
But his gaze was dropping down over her body in the leather dress. Lingering on her breasts, belly, hips. Legs. Back up. Eyes glittering.
‘I don’t think I can talk while you’re wearing that dress.’
Mia turned around, presenting him with her back. ‘Then can you help me get out of it, please? So we can talk. I can’t undo it myself.’
She pulled her hair over one shoulder. She hated herself for it, but when Daniel moved close behind her she wasn’t thinking much about talking either.
Familiar tension coiled in her gut as she waited to feel his fingers on the zip. But instead his hands came to her shoulders. Breath feathered over her and she felt his mouth touch her skin, pressing kisses along her upper back.
‘Daniel...’ she said weakly, her legs turning to rubber.
‘Do you want me to stop?’
Yes, Mia said inwardly, because she knew that after what she’d said today she had no defences left. But the temptation was too much. She needed this. Needed it like a lifeforce. And after this she might never experience it again.
She turned around, eyes locking on Daniel’s mouth. She’d denied herself that mouth on hers in some misguided idea that it would be easier to have sex than make love. It hadn’t worked.
‘No, damn you,’ she said now. ‘I don’t want you to stop.’
She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, almost sobbing with relief when, after a moment’s hesitation, he kissed her back. Mouths open. Tongues tangling. Why had she denied herself this?
Because it’s going to shatter your heart into a million pieces when you leave...
Mia shoved the voice down deep. Not now.
Daniel hauled her up against his body and carried her over to a wide chair in the dressing room, sitting down and taking her with him.
‘Put your legs either side of mine.’
Mia looked down at the unforgiving dress. ‘I don’t think I—’
There was a sound of material ripping and Mia saw that Daniel had ripped the slit in the dress so that it reached her hip. She looked at him, and he looked like the devil incarnate. Her skin went on fire.
He said, ‘Now try.’
She put her thighs either side of his, and he reached around her back to pull the zip down. She shivered as the dress loosened around her breasts and Daniel pulled at the bodice, freeing her breasts. He cupped them, thumbs finding her nipples and stroking them to hard points.
Mia couldn’t think straight. Her hands were on the back of the chair behind Daniel’s head, and then her own head fell back when Daniel leant forward and put his mouth on one breast and then the other, suckling her flesh until she was panting and moving against him, seeking a deeper connection.
He put his hands on her hips. ‘Come up for me, chérie.’
Mia came up on her knees. Heard Daniel undo his belt and trousers. Heard the ripping of a foil packet. And then his hands were on her hips again and he was bringing her down slowly onto his shaft.
It was exquisite torture as he slowly urged her up and down, lubricating his body with her own, her muscles massaging his length until they were both half crazed. Daniel held her still so that he could dictate the pace, and he surged up into her body over and over again, putting his mouth on her breast and sucking her nipple so hard that she had nowhere to go except hurtling over the edge.
For long moments they stayed in that embrace. Daniel’s head on Mia’s breast, her head buried in his neck, her thighs trembling in the aftermath.
The following morning when Daniel woke he noticed the utter stillness. He felt cold. He’d had dreams...awful dreams. Dreams of being in a large venue, seeing glimpses of Mia, but then she’d disappear again. Round and round he went, searching for her endlessly...
Last night...
The frantic sex came back to him in snatches. Ripping Mia’s dress to her hip. Her breasts falling free of the restrictive leather. The desperation that had fuelled them to that explosive climax.
Eventually she’d extricated herself and gone. Daniel had presumed to change, freshen up. He’d waited for her. But she hadn’t come back. The door to the nursery had been closed and, aware of Lexi, he hadn’t wanted to disturb her.
He’d taken a shower and come into his bedroom, half expecting—hoping—that she might be in his bed. But it had been empty.
He remembered the way she’d looked when she’d said, ‘No, damn you, I don’t want you to stop.’ As if she’d wanted him but resented it.
Daniel went even colder now. She’d whispered something into his neck before she’d left him sitting on that chair in a stupor. He’d heard it at the time, but he’d ignored it. Now it came back.
She’d said, very clearly, ‘This doesn’t change anything.’
Daniel jack-knifed up to sit in the bed. The stillness in the apartment seemed to permeate his bones.
She was gone.
He got up, pulling on sweats. Lexi’s bedroom door was open. The bed was made. Lexi’s cot empty. No unintelligible chatter signalled her presence.
Paul wasn’t even here. No one was here.
Daniel had a flashback to walking around the chateau where he’d grown up. He’d woken up one day to find the chateau empty. Totally empty. It had been shortly after Delphine’s death. Finally, that evening, his father had returned from Paris to find Daniel curled up in the corner of his bedroom, practically catatonic with fear and bewilderment.
He’d believed he’d been abandoned because he’d been responsible for Delphine’s death.
‘What’s wrong with you, boy?’
Daniel had looked up and known he should be feeling relief that his father was there, but all he’d felt was cold.
‘Where did everyone go?’ he’d asked.
His father had cursed. ‘You were left here today?’
Daniel had nodded.
‘Your mother was supposed to take you with her to the South of France,’ his father had spat out. ‘The staff were given the day off to go to a fête in the village.’
There had been no apology or acknowledgement of the fact that he’d been abandoned. He’d just spent the rest of that week going into the salon with his irritated father. And when his mother had returned from the South of France she hadn’t said a thing.
Daniel thought of Lexi and subjecting her to a similar experience. It made him feel physically ill and gave him a wholly new perspective on the cruelty of his parents.
He rubbed at his chest.
He knew one thing above everything else. Mia couldn’t leave him. And he had to tell her that.
He forced himself to be rational. She couldn’t be far. She wouldn’t have just left so suddenly. He needed to talk to her. To try and explain something he couldn’t even explain to himself.
Mia watched Lexi throw morsels of bread to the ducks. She felt numb. She’d made herself feel numb to stop images from last night running in her head. Last night had just proved that she wasn’t strong enough to love Daniel and stay with him.
Lexi started toddling towards the playground. Mia took her hand.
‘Mia!’
She stopped, turned around. Daniel was behind her, looking very dishevelled. A loose shirt over jeans. Shoes with no socks. No coat. She’d never seen him like this.
‘Daniel?’
‘I need to talk to you.’
Mia saw Odile, not far behind Daniel. ‘What’s Odile doing here? Has something happened? You’re scaring me.’
He shook his head. ‘No, nothing is wrong. I just need Odile to watch Lexi so we can talk.’
Bemused, Mia greeted Odile and handed over Lexi’s bag and stroller. Odile was discreet enough to say, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll stay with her until I hear from you.’
Lexi trotted off happily with Odile to the playground. Mia turned to Daniel. Even now she was aware of the looks he drew. Mainly because he looked as if he’d literally just tumbled out of bed. She wanted to snarl at all the women that he was hers. But he wasn’t. Not really.
‘What is it, Daniel?’
He indicated a bench. ‘Sit with me for a minute?’
They sat down.
Daniel turned to Mia and she tried to channel every bit of inner strength she had to withstand his proximity and his effect on her.
‘I don’t want you to leave, Mia.’
‘Look, Daniel, I really, really wanted to make this work—especially for Lexi’s sake. And maybe it would if I didn’t feel the way I do... But it’ll kill me in the end, knowing you don’t feel the same way.’
‘But that’s it... I do... I mean, I think I do. Or that I can.’
Mia felt sick. ‘I think I’d prefer it if you pretended you were in love with me, Daniel. But you don’t even know...’
Mia stood up and started walking. This was humiliating. Daniel was so desperate for her to stay that he was clearly doing his best to conjure up some sort of emotion to persuade her.
‘Mia, wait.’
She stopped. Daniel came alongside her.
‘I’m not making sense, I know. I need to show you something that might help you understand...will you come with me?’
Mia wanted to say no, but she was more intrigued than she liked to admit, so she said a grudging, ‘Fine.’
When they got to Place Vendôme there was a car she hadn’t seen before out front—a low-slung sports car. Daniel opened the passenger door.
She hesitated. ‘Where are we going?’
‘For a drive. It’s about an hour—is that okay?’
Mia shrugged. ‘Do I have a choice?’
‘Of course you do, but I’d like you to give me this chance.’
Dammit, that flicker of hope was back.
Mia got into the car. It was a luxurious cocoon. Daniel put on some music. They were soon out of the city and speeding along the motorway before turning off and taking country roads.
Mia tried not to think about what Daniel had up his sleeve to convince her to stay. She was determined not to be swayed. He didn’t even know how he felt about her. It was insulting!
At about the hour mark they passed through a postcard-pretty village, and on the other side followed a high stone wall for about ten minutes, before Daniel turned into an opening where there were huge gates. She saw his hands tense on the wheel as he waited for a security guard to open the gates and let them in.
Daniel’s tension was palpable now. His jaw was tight. Mia felt uneasy. ‘Where are we?’
‘The Devilliers chateau.’
Where Delphine had died. Where he’d grown up.
His words came back to her: ‘My background broke me’.
Mia said nothing as they made their winding way up a seemingly endless drive. And then suddenly the chateau appeared around a bend. Mia sucked in a breath. This was not your quintessential pretty French chateau. This was something out of a gothic nightmare. Forbidding grey stone. Spiky ramparts. Small windows. It looked cold and oppressive.
Daniel parked in the front courtyard and got out, opening Mia’s door and helping her out too. She didn’t want to let go of his hand but had to. She was here to break with him, not cling to him.
He went up the steps and the door opened as he approached. A dour-looking man said, ‘Welcome, Mr Devilliers, we weren’t expecting you.’
‘No,’ he said, sounding grim. ‘It’s fine, we won’t be here long.’
Mia smiled at the older man, but he stared at her as if she was a ghost. She really didn’t like this place. It was as cold and forbidding inside as out.
The man walked away, and Daniel waited till he was gone. Then he looked at Mia. ‘I really would prefer if you hadn’t had to see this place, but it’s the only way I know how to show you...’
Show me what? she wanted to ask.
But instead she just let him lead her from room to room. He pointed out Delphine’s room, untouched from the day she’d died. Mia’s heart broke to see the toys and books.
Daniel told Mia about the day he’d found himself alone, with no idea where everyone was. Ice crept into her blood at the thought of him as a small boy, grief-struck, alone in this inhospitable place.
And eventually he took her outside to the back, where the manicured gardens looked frozen in time. The sun was shining but she still felt cold.
Daniel led her around the side of the chateau, to an area of ground that looked slightly different from the rest. She recognised the shape.
‘This was the pool, wasn’t it?’
Daniel nodded.
‘You had it filled in?’
‘My mother did.’
‘Oh, Daniel...’ Mia couldn’t stop the emotion.
He didn’t look at her as he said, ‘I know rationally that it wasn’t my fault she died. As you pointed out, I was only nine. But it’s embedded on my soul in a way I can’t seem to erase. I loved Delphine so much...she was the only joy in my life, and me in hers. I probably would have survived this place quite well if she had lived. Our parents’ neglect made us even closer. But when she died, I felt that somehow I’d caused it by needing her too much. That I didn’t deserve to have her in my life. Then my mother’s reaction...my father’s lack of emotion...compounded my guilt.’
He turned to her then. He looked so tortured that Mia’s heart broke all over again.
‘But I know that I have to let it go, or I’ll never be free to trust that something good can come of needing you and Lexi in my life. To trust that needing you won’t somehow...destroy you. I didn’t want to bring you here to tell you all of this,’ he continued, ‘but I had to. Because it’s the only way I know to show you what’s in here...’ he put a hand over his heart ‘...and to try and tell you how you make me feel.’
Mia took Daniel’s hands, her heart speeding up a little. ‘How do I make you feel?’
‘When I saw you walk out of the party yesterday evening I couldn’t concentrate. I had to find you. The thought of you and Lexi...going...of not seeing you every day...of not having you in my bed, in my life...it makes my chest physically hurt. I feel like I can’t breathe.’
He said, ‘I know now that’s love, Mia. I love you and Lexi. I loved you from the minute I saw you, but I had no capacity to recognise it. When you said you were pregnant... I felt sheer terror. The thought of bringing a child into the world, when all I knew was abandonment and the pain of grief... I didn’t see how I wouldn’t pass that on. That’s why I said what I said that day.’
Mia kept silent. Letting him find his words.
‘But then you came back...with Lexi...and I couldn’t hide from the demons. I had to let you in. I thought I could do that and somehow stay removed from how you made me feel. The reason I wanted to marry you so quickly was because I knew that if you had time to think about it you’d realise it was too much of a sacrifice. Not because I cared about what people thought. But I’m terrified that loving you will somehow harm you and Lexi.’
He took his hands out of hers. Mia’s heart broke in two. The tone in Daniel’s voice was the opposite of self-pity. He really believed what he’d said. She could see how damaging this place had been.
Mia said, ‘I’m glad you brought me here.’
‘You are?’
She nodded. ‘You’re right. I wouldn’t have understood. But now I do. And there’s one thing I know.’
‘What?’
Mia shuddered lightly. ‘Lexi is never coming here.’
Daniel’s mouth thinned. ‘No way.’
Mia took his hands again. ‘And neither are we, coming back here—ever. Because we’re going to sell it.’
A wary look came over his face. ‘We?’
She nodded. Saw something very fragile make his eyes bright.
‘But it’s been in the family for centuries...’
Mia shrugged. ‘So what?’
The ghost of a smile touched Daniel’s mouth. ‘Typical American. No appreciation of culture.’
Mia shook her head, joy bubbling up from deep inside her. ‘Nope. We’ll buy another chateau. A pink one.’
Daniel looked horrified. ‘Pink?’
Mia cocked her head on one side. ‘Yes. Pink. I’ve always thought they’re so pretty.’
Daniel’s expression became serious. Wary again. ‘Mia, are you saying you’ll stay?’
She moved closer and stretched up, pressing a kiss against Daniel’s mouth. A sweet kiss. A benediction.
‘If you’ll have me. And Lexi.’
She felt the shudder of emotion that ran through Daniel. He gathered her close.
‘If I have any chance in this world, it’s with you and Lexi. And even though the thought of loving you and causing any harm to come to you and Lexi terrifies me, the thought of letting you go terrifies me more. Is that selfish?’
Mia kissed him again. ‘No, my love, it’s supremely human. But loving us can’t possibly harm us. I can’t guarantee that nothing bad will happen, but I can guarantee that no matter what we’ll be together, and together we can face anything.’
Daniel cupped her face and said fervently, ‘Don’t ever stop kissing me, Mia.’
‘Never, my love.’
