All of Me by Tiffany Patterson

Chapter 14

Lena

“I’m coming,” Jodi yelled through her door a few seconds after I rang the bell. Days after lunch in Gabriel’s office, I found myself unable to concentrate on anything else.

I’d been stupefied in his office by his declaration. He made it even after I revealed to him the craziness that went on in my last relationship. I just knew telling Gabe all of that stuff would have him running for the hills. Yet, the opposite happened. He remained as immovable as Mount Everest when he said he wanted all of me.

“Hey,” Jodi said as she opened the door. She wore a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a T-shirt that read ‘Society has a distorted view of beauty.’

“Nice shirt,’” I said, holding up the bags of food from a local Tex-Mex restaurant.

“You like?” She posed, holding the shirt out on display. “Micah got me this one.” She took a step back. “Come in.”

Micah was out of town working a case, so Jodi invited me over for dinner.

“Follow me.”

“Oh.” I jumped when Hound came bounding out of what I assumed to be the living room. He wasn’t aggressive, but he was so big that if you weren’t expecting him, it could be a shock.

“Hound, we talked about this,” Jodi said as she kneeled, wrapping her arms around him, petting. “You’re too big to sneak up on people like that.”

He actually whimpered.

Jodi chuckled. “It’s okay. Lena forgives you, right?” She peered up at me.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Wait here, big guy,” she cooed. “Let me just grab some plates and utensils from the kitchen. We’ll eat in the living room. You decide what you want to watch.” She threw that last part over her shoulder as she rushed in the opposite direction toward the kitchen.

I started for the living room, but a sound from Hound stopped me. He nudged his head toward my feet. That was when I noticed a line of shoes sitting at the edge of the door.

“Oh, my bad.” I laughed and heel-toed off my sandals and pushed them out of the way with my foot before entering. After putting the bags of food on the coffee table, I picked up the remote and thumbed through the various channels and options to watch.

“Did you decide?”

“There’re too many options,” I responded to Jodi. I stood and took one of the black porcelain plates from her. I wasn’t a massive fan of television, so I didn’t know anything about half of the shows listed.

“Let’s watch The Walking Dead,” Jodi said.

With a shrug, I replied, “Sure. I don’t know what it is, but whatever.”

“It’s good. I’ve started re-watching the older episodes with Micah.”

We fixed our plates.

“Mm, fish tacos.” Jodi almost drooled as she placed one of the tacos onto her plate.

“You said chicken was off limits, so I opted for beef and fish.”

Scrunching her face up, she rubbed her belly as she shook her head. “Please don’t mention the C word. The baby hates it these days, and even hearing the name makes me want to hurl.”

“It’s that bad, huh?” I asked while placing two of the beef tacos onto my plate. I drizzled it in the red sauce it came with and the pico de gallo.

“Most of the time, it’s not. My morning sickness isn’t too bad. This issue with the food that shall not be named started a few days ago.”

I watched Jodi for a minute as she took a bite of her food. Though she wasn't showing much yet, now and again, when she moved, I could see a little belly through her T-shirt. And there was a glow about her skin that I hadn’t ever seen before.

Jodi and I hadn’t been extremely close when she worked as part of my PR team, but our relationship was changing during my time in Harlington.

“What’s it like?” I asked.

She paused and gave me a curious look. “Being pregnant?”

I nodded before taking a bite of my taco.

She shrugged. “It’s strange, to be honest.”

“How so?”

“To think there's life forming inside of my belly. That everything I eat, drink, or think could alter the trajectory of this little being can be overwhelming if I let myself dwell on it for too long.”

A small smile touched my lips. “I bet you’ll make a great mom.”

“You think so?”

I tilted my head to the side. “You have doubts?”

“Hell yeah.” She laughed. “My mom told me that’s normal. Micah will be a great daddy, though.” A huge smile covered her face. “I can’t wait to see him teaching this little guy how to ride a horse, or shave, or cook.”

“Cook?” I sat up.

She nodded. “Most definitely. We’re living in the twenty-first century in this household. Equal division of labor around here. Plus, Micah loves to cook.”

We ate and talked more about their impending parenthood. They didn’t know the gender yet, but she kept referring to the baby as he. Somewhere along the line, I got caught up in the fantasy and imagined my belly swollen with a baby.

It was an image of me standing in a field of wildflowers barefoot while rubbing my belly. When I looked up, Gabe stared down at me with a gigantic, proud smile on his face.

“Oh shit,” I blurted out when I snapped out of my daze, realizing I’d dropped half of my taco onto Jodi’s cream carpet. “I’m so sorry.”

“Welp, we’ll have to get that cleaned this week.”

“Dammit, I started daydreaming,” I explained. “Do you have any spray to clean this up?” I managed to pick up the food and toss it in the bag before rubbing out what I could with a few napkins.

“Let me see if we have some stain remover somewhere,” Jodi said and started to rise.

“No, I can get it. Let me know where you keep the cleaning supplies.”

She pointed toward the hallway. “Check the closet. It’s right out there on your right.”

I went and opened the closet, grateful to see that there was some carpet cleaner spray front and center.

A few minutes later, as I dabbed at the stain, I heard Jodi chuckle. “What?”

She shrugged and shook her head. “Nothing, it’s just that I never would’ve pictured you in my house, cleaning up the carpet.”

“I dropped food on your floor.”

She waved a hand in the air. “I know. And honestly, it’s no big deal. I’ve been meaning to have this carpet cleaned for some time anyway. Hell, I’m trying to convince Micah that we need to change it. We’re about to have a baby. All of this light-colored furniture is not going to work with a kid around.”

I wiped at the stain on the carpet.

“Anyway, it’s not a big deal. Finish eating.” She took the napkin and spray from my hands and set them aside.

“But what did you mean about me not cleaning up?” I asked, curious. Her tone indicated that it was far beyond her ideal of me.

“I don’t know.” She paused and thought about it. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I sort of got the impression that you were spoiled. I mean, all the demands that you would put on the venues. I got to see them. Your hotel room had to be on the top floor, had to be a suite, the water temperature had to be set at an exact number. The champagne needed to be chilled.” She shook her head.

“That wasn’t me.” My voice was low, airy as I thought about all of those requests. “They never came from me. Not exactly.”

“It was Nate,” Jodi said.

I nodded. “He was my manager and said I needed the perfect conditions to bring out the best performance in me.” On some accounts, he was right, but I never needed top-shelf alcohol or thousands of dollars worth of caviar to perform at my best.

“Anyway …” I shook my head. “I’m happy for you, Jodi. You look content here.”

She gave me a look. “I am. Truthfully, I never saw myself moving to Texas permanently, but obviously, it’s all working out. I love my job, I love my husband and his family, and I love this baby in my belly already.”

She leaned her back against the couch and kicked her feet up on the coffee table. A whimper from the side of the sofa sounded. Jodi giggled.

“I love you, too, Hound.”

He barked at that. Even I laughed at that one.

“What about you, Lena? Are you happy?”

Sighing, I sat back against the couch also. “Sometimes, I don’t know if I even remember what it feels like to be happy.”

She turned to me, bracing her head against her hand.

“That’s not completely true,” I said, almost whispering. “I’ve had moments of happiness since I moved here.”

“That smile on your lips is telling on you.”

I dipped my head.

“You were thinking about Gabe, weren’t you?”

I swallowed the lump that appeared in my throat. But I couldn’t lie. Even with all of my performance training, I was a terrible liar.

“Yes. He took me on a hot air balloon ride a few weeks ago.”

Jodi’s face wrinkled. “I thought you didn’t like heights.”

“I don’t. But it was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

“You like him, huh?”

Shaking my head, I held up my hands. “No, not like that. We’re just … you know. He’s helping me gain inspiration to write.”

Jodi gave me a sideways glance. “Inspiration?”

“Yes,” I said a little too quickly. “He offered to be my muse.”

“Yeah, you already told me that.” She slapped my knee and laughed. “That man called you his future wife the first time he saw you.”

“That wasn’t the first time we met.” I explained to Jodi that we’d had an encounter months prior, in Los Angeles. “Nate hated him.” I laughed, remembering how Nate spent that night, once we got home, ranting about that fucking fighter turned manager who didn’t know shit.

“When I pointed out that Gabe knew way more about that other fighter than he had, Nate blew a gasket.”

We argued half the night over that. Nate talked about how Gabe had tried to make him look bad in front of everyone and how I let it happen. I’d forgotten all about that until sitting on the couch with Jodi. It’d just been one of the many arguments between my ex and myself.

“I basically moved out of the apartment we shared after that night.” However, the video and the fire weren’t until a couple of months later.

Staring down at the couch, I shook my head. My fingers toiled with the delicate fabric, picking at nothing.

“What’s wrong?” Jodi asked.

I lifted my gaze to meet hers. “I told Gabe that we should keep our relationship purely physical, with some friendship and good times but nothing more.”

She huffed. “Girl, I could’ve told you how that one was going to work out. But, go ahead, tell me. How did he take it?”

“He said no.”

She cackled. “And?”

“He said he wants all of me and won’t settle for anything less.”

“I knew it.” She pointed at me. “He’s like his brother like that. They go after what they want and are relentless to a damn fault.”

My frown deepened.

“That scares you?”

“Hell yeah,” I blurted out.

“Why?”

“Because no one in my life has ever wanted all of me,” I spoke my truth for the first time out loud. “My parents were always so caught up in their own drama that they rarely bothered to check-in on me.” I thought about the few moments of attention they gave to me throughout my childhood.

“When they realized I could sing, they cared more about me performing and writing to make money, than taking time to stop and get to know me. My first boyfriend dumped me as soon as he got a record deal through a connection I got for him. And then there’s Nate. Do we even need to get into that one?”

“No,” Jodi said, shaking her head, “we don’t.”

“Good.” Especially since he continued making money off of me, and I still had this unwritten album that I owed his label hanging over my head.

“Signing with him as my manager and to his record label was the stupidest thing I ever did.”

“You were young and in love.”

I let out a harsh grunt. “Yeah, and look where the hell that got me.”

Jodi leaned back and sat in a cross-legged position. “Then this means you told Gabe in no uncertain terms that you’re done with him?” A sly grin crossed her face.

“Not exactly,” I said, staring at the television screen. The show we were supposed to be watching continued to play, although it was on mute. A particularly gruesome scene of a group of zombies tearing and biting at the flesh of a horse flashed on the screen.

I turned away from the TV.

“We’re going to New York together.”

Jodi’s lips twitched. “How did this happen?”

“I have to go into the City to do a shoot and a commercial for DeLuxe Makeup. He has to go to New York for work, too. It so happens that our dates coincide. And since I still haven’t told anyone aside from you and Rayven where I am, I didn’t want Demetria to make my travel arrangements. Gabe said it’d be easier to make all the arrangements under his name.”

“I bet he did.” She grinned. “They are convincing when they want to be. The whole family is like that, from what I’ve heard.”

“Who’ve you heard it from?”

“They have some cousins up in Williamsport. You met a few of them at the wedding.”

I nodded but couldn’t remember who was who. All I remembered was seeing Gabe when I first walked in, followed by us dancing to Alicia Keys. It was like his entire presence took over all of my recollection from that night.

“Patience officiated our wedding. She’s Aaron Townsend’s wife. He has three other brothers, and they’re all cousins with Micah and his brothers. A handful. Every single one of them.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” I murmured. I didn’t need to take Jodi’s word for it. If they were anything like Gabriel, I knew they were a lot to handle. I’d gone into his office intending to set a firm boundary on what I deemed our non-relationship, yet somehow, ended up agreeing to go with him across the country.

“So much for not getting into a relationship with him.” Jodi laughed, but my stomach muscles tensed.

I couldn’t let Gabe have all of me. I just couldn’t let that happen. I’d proven myself as unstable in relationships. Jodi might see it as a joke—she was living in her happily ever after with Micah—but she and I were different people.

Jodi wasn’t the one who’d gotten caught on video going crazy and lighting her fiancé’s belongings on fire. She didn’t get so tied up in her emotions with her partner that she spent hours chasing him around, arguing with him, or losing friendships over him.

That was my history, and I refused to relive it. Gabe might think he wanted all of me, but he didn’t know the real me.

“I see that mind of yours working. What are you thinking?” Jodi asked.

“I’m going to seduce him,” I said flatly.

Jodi gave me the craziest side-eye.

“We both want to be intimate with one another. I mean, the physical chemistry between us is insane.”

Excitement filled me as another plan formed with each word I spoke.

“I’ll flirt a little more, spice things up, and we’ll both get what we truly want. And I won’t have to give Gabe all of me. I mean, he’s a man, right?”

I didn’t wait for Jodi to answer.

“Men can’t turn down sex when it’s thrown in their face. No matter how much they want something else.” I snorted. All the past men in my life taught me that. “We’ll get to the sex part, and Gabe will forget all about the whole I want all of you stuff he said.”

Jodi just stared at me.

“What?”

She blinked. “Did you not hear anything I just said? I doubt that plan will go as you expect it to.”

Shaking my head, I waved her off with my hand. I turned back to the television screen and lifted the remote, taking the show off of mute.

“It’s settled. New York. That’s where I’ll make my move.”