All of Me by Tiffany Patterson

Chapter 25

Lena

I drove around for over an hour after leaving Gabe’s office. I hated all the confusion that I felt running through me. I believed him. He didn’t have a reason to sell those photos to a blog. But I still doubted whether or not I could trust myself around him.

Eventually, I found myself parked in the parking lot of The Rustic. It was only around four o’clock in the afternoon, but the bar was open. My stomach growled, and it was then I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.

Though I didn’t feel like eating an entire meal, I decided to go inside to order some of their fried ice cream. There were only a handful of people when I walked in. The bartender peered up from behind the bar and smiled as he recognized me.

My heart pounded, and for a second, I feared what he thought of me. It was that same fear that echoed in the back of my head ever since the release of that video.

As I moved closer, I exhaled, remembering this is the same bartender I’d seen on multiple occasions with Gabe.

“Hey, Lena, how’s it going?”

“Hey, Toni. It’s not too early for some fried ice cream, is it?”

His grin widened. “Is it ever too early for ice cream? What flavor?”

I ordered the butter pecan and took a seat on one of the barstools. While I waited, I pulled out the notebook I always carried with me in my shoulder bag.

I began writing the words that came to mind while humming the melody. I poured into the song everything that I felt. The confusion and unsteadiness of all the feelings coursing through me. The thrill, the excitement, anticipation, and the fear. It all went into the song.

I barely touched the ice cream, opting to take it with me once I finished writing. Though, I wasn’t ready to go back to Gabe’s right then. I gave Jodi a call and decided to pick up some food to take over to her place since Micah was working late.

About forty-five minutes later, I pulled into Jodi and Micah’s driveway. She was already waiting out front with Hound, waving as I got out of the car.

“I avoided anything with chicken in it,” I said as I held up the bag of barbecue I’d bought for us.

She waved me off. “That was months ago. We’re over the hate chicken phase,” she said as she patted her more rounded belly. “Come inside before we melt out here.”

Hound followed us inside, and I heel-toed my sandals off, leaving them by the door.

“What are you up to?” I asked as we entered the kitchen. I placed the food on the table.

“I got sent home early.” She frowned.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I glanced down at her belly.

“Nothing,” she said, huffing. “My ankles got a little swollen, and my overprotective husband freaked the hell out. Said I was working too much.” She sucked her teeth and moved from the kitchen to the living room, leaving me to follow.

“But you’re okay?” I asked as we took a seat on the couch.

“I’m perfectly fine. The swelling is normal. My doctor told us this a hundred times, but with the heat, Micah swears I’m overexerting myself. Even though I’ve barely been outdoors in weeks.”

I smiled, hearing the annoyance in her voice.

“But getting sent home gave me a little free time to get some work done in the nursery. Micah will be pissed when he finds out I built the changing table all by myself.” She shrugged. “What’s up with you?”

“I’ve been writing again.” I couldn’t contain my excitement at finally being able to say it out loud to someone other than Gabriel.

Her eyes widened. “Like, writing, writing?”

I nodded excitedly. “I’ve got at least two songs to where I want them, and I even arranged one of them this morning. I’m trying my hand at producing this album.”

“That’s great, Lena. I always wondered why you never produced on your previous albums.” Jodi gave me a curious expression.

“Long story short, I had a bunch of people around me telling me that I needed to stick to what I knew, which was writing.”

“The loudest of which was probably Nate. Am I right?”

I rolled my eyes. “He was one of the main ones, but there were others, too.”

Early in my career, I mentioned wanting to produce songs, but my father and the men he had me working with practically laughed me out of the room.

“You’re lucky we’re even letting you write, little girl,” one famous producer had said. I was eighteen, and that guy had a slew of top one hundred records under his belt. He’d worked with huge names. Who was I to question his judgment?

A couple of years after that, Nate took on the same attitude about my ability to produce. He said producing was best left to the men.

“I wrote another song today, just now.”

Jodi turned toward me, curled her legs up on the couch. “Tell me about it.”

The food I brought over sat in the kitchen, long forgotten, as I recounted the day's events and what led to the song pouring out of me.

“So, wait, you went over to No Sweat and accused Gabe of setting you up?”

I lowered my forehead into the palm of my hand and groaned. “I know,” I whined. “It was stupid, and I didn’t really think he did it, but first Demetria suggested it, and then Rayven called and brought it up again. I started remembering all of the BS in my last relationship, I got confused, and I needed to hear him either admit it or tell me he didn’t do it.”

“So, what do you believe now?” Jodi asked.

“I don’t think he did it, but …” I sighed.

“But …” Jodi drew out.

“I don’t know what to think. That’s where the song I wrote in the bar came from.” I patted my shoulder bag that sat in between us, which held my notebook.

“Can I hear it?”

I started to reach for my bag but then stopped. “I would, but I can’t.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “Can’t or won’t?”

“Both,” I admitted. “I kind of promised Gabe he’d be the first one to hear all of my songs. I haven’t played anything for him yet.”

A slow, knowing grin started to spread over Jodi’s face. “What’s the title of the song, at least?”

“Confused.”

“Hm.” She looked upward as if she were contemplating something. “You’re confused about your feelings for Gabe?”

I nodded. “Pretty much. Everything with him feels so damn intense. Like colors are brighter, the sun sits a little higher in the sky, smells are more potent. Did I tell you he took me on a hot air balloon date?”

“You did.”

“Yeah, and I’m terrified of freaking heights.” Sighing, I shook my head. “I feel like I’m in new territory.” I snapped my fingers. “Oh, that’s a good title.” I retrieved my pen and notebook from my bag, quickly writing down those two words ‘new territory’ and scribbling a few lines that popped into my mind before I lost them.

“Sorry.” I bit my lip, giving Jodi a sheepish look. “I kind of get anxious that if I don’t write a title or line down as soon as it comes to mind, I’ll forget it forever.”

She laughed. “Don’t worry about me. Shit, the way I’ve been experiencing pregnancy brain, I need to start carrying a notebook around.”

We both laughed.

“I’m glad to see you’re writing again, though. You look excited. A lot different than the demeanor I saw when you first arrived in Texas.” She paused and gave me a considering look. “Hell, to be honest, you look a lot happier than I can ever remember seeing you, save for when you’re performing.”

I shook my head and stared down at my shoulder bag. I couldn’t look Jodi in the eye because she studied me too intently. I wondered what she saw but didn’t want to ask.

“Anyway, how did you leave things with Gabe?” she asked.

I shrugged. “We’re fine, I guess.”

“You guess? Does he know you’re over here?”

I wrinkled my forehead. “No, why?” As soon as the question was out, a banging sounded on Jodi and Micah’s front door.

“That’s why.” She laughed as she got up from the couch. She waved for me to follow her.

My eyes widened in surprise to find Gabriel standing on the other side.

“I have a key, but I thought I’d respect your home by knocking first,” he said to Jodi.

“’Preciate that,” she responded.

“Is she here?” he asked.

Jodi laughed and shook her head. “If she wasn’t, I might’ve cursed your ass out for banging on my door like that,” Jodi said as she stepped aside, opening the door even more.

Gabe’s eyes landed on me and narrowed. “You weren’t home.”

His voice was so deep and full of emotion that I couldn’t identify. But it was the word home that almost had my knees buckling. It sounded so right. As if with him indeed was my home.

I swallowed as he entered the house. Before I could say anything, the sound of another car pulling into the driveway caught my attention.

“Looks like mine is home, too,” Jodi said.

Gabe stepped forward and took my face into his hands. He stared down into my eyes, searching. He didn’t say anything.

I lifted onto my tiptoes and brushed my lips across his. “I believe you,” I whispered, low enough for only him to hear me.

His lips tightened, but he leaned in, kissing me deeper. I quickly lost my balance and had to hold onto his shoulders to keep steady, lest the intensity of his kiss knock me over.

“Why the hell is he here making out with his woman in my house?”

I pulled back from Gabe to find his brother staring at us as we stood in his foyer.

Jodi laughed. “They’re making up.”

“They can’t do that at home?”

“We could,” Gabe said, turning to face his brother. “But how else would I show your old ass how it’s done for when you fuck up with Jodi?”

I nudged Gabe with my elbow. “Be nice,” I whispered to him when he peered back at me.

“Trust me, Cin. This is me being nice to his old ass.”

“Respect your elders, Little Wolf.”

“I got your little,” Gabe responded.

“These two,” Jodi said, rolling her eyes.

“Did you eat?” Gabe asked.

“Oh shoot,” I remembered the food I’d left on the table.

“That’s probably cold by now. I’ll whip something up for the three of us,” Micah said. He glared at Gabe. “Your ass will have to forage for yourself.”

Gabe gave Micah the middle finger but followed him into the kitchen.

“I’m in the mood for breakfast for dinner,” Jodi yelled behind them.

“Will do,” Micah yelled back.

“Did someone say waffles?” Gabe asked.

Micah peeked his head out from the kitchen. “I’m sure you already know about this guy’s strange addiction to waffles.”

I laughed. “I do.”

“I tried to tell him it’s the same damn batter, but—”

“Pockets,” Gabe and I said at the same time.

Micah grunted. “I see he’s converted you.”

About thirty minutes later, the four of us sat in their kitchen eating a dinner that consisted of cinnamon waffles topped with fruit, and eggs, and sausage on the side.

While we ate and talked, I happily ignored the notifications that continued to stream on my phone. All of that mess would either die down or have to be sorted out on another day.