It Started with a Snap by Piper James

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ember

My eyes fluttered open, and I stretched my arms over my head. It was almost weird, waking up in my own bed, alone, after spending so many nights with Ethan over the last few weeks. I’d ended up at Sage’s last night with Dakota, helping them sort through dozens of bridal websites as we looked for the perfect dress for each of them.

It was strange, knowing they would both be married soon. Next would come children—they agreed wholeheartedly that they both wanted to start trying within the first year. I was happy for them, of course, but there was a small part of me that mourned for our previous group dynamic.

How much would things change, now that all of my friends were settling down and starting families? I couldn’t help but feel a little left behind. Despite the fact that I had no urge to get married and wasn’t even sure if I’d want kids when I did, a small sliver of jealousy rippled through me that they had all that marriage and family stuff in common with each other.

Would I even have a place in their lives once they were wives and mothers like Belle? Or would they move on without me, hanging out less and less because I no longer had anything in common with them?

Tears stung my eyes at the thought, and a self-deprecating laugh burst through my lips as I wiped them away. Why was I so damn emotional this morning? I needed some fucking coffee.

I threw back the covers and rolled out of bed, stumbling a little as I fought to get my feet solidly beneath me. Pressing a hand to my temple, I closed my eyes until the dizziness passed.

“Woah,” I mumbled, my body swaying for a moment. “Got up too fast.”

Once the room stopped spinning, I shuffled to my kitchenette area and popped a pod into my single-serve coffee maker. Placing a mug underneath, I pressed the button to brew the largest size, shifting my weight from foot to foot as I waited.

A few seconds later, a stream of dark roast poured into the cup, the softly curling steam enticing me to lean forward and smell it. I inhaled deeply before stumbling back, my stomach twisting as bile climbed up my throat.

Slapping a hand over my mouth, I ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before my gag reflex kicked in. My body heaved as my stomach ejected its contents. My throat and nose burned, my eyes watered as I gagged again and again—mostly dry-heaves since I hadn’t eaten in at least ten hours.

Once the heaving stopped, I flushed the toilet and moved to the sink. After rinsing out my mouth, I splashed cold water on my face. Patting it dry, I braced my hands on the sink and stared into the mirror. My skin looked pale and clammy, and my stomach still churned at the scent of coffee wafting in from the kitchen.

Was I sick? I had to be. I didn’t drink the night before, so I knew it wasn’t a hangover. If I was sick, and this wasn’t some fluke, I prayed it was a twenty-four-hour bug that would be better by tomorrow. Shit, I needed to text the girls and Ethan to let them know, just in case. I’d spent time with all of them over the last couple of days, so whatever this was, they might’ve caught it from me.

Grabbing my toothbrush from the holder on the counter, I slid open the drawer to grab my toothpaste. Squeezing the tube, I coated the bristles of the brush and stuck it in my mouth. As I scrubbed my teeth, I dropped the paste back into the drawer and grabbed my pack of birth control pills.

My hand holding the toothbrush stilled as I stared at the pills. A strong sense of foreboding washed over me, making my stomach churn again.

I hadn’t bothered to put the refill pack in the holder that kept track of the days. It was such a habit, taking the pill after I brushed my teeth each morning that I never worried about it. But something was wrong here.

It was nearly the end of October, and I should’ve been starting a new pack soon. But the pack in my hand had six pills left in it, not including the placebos. I dropped my toothbrush into the sink, and slammed the toilet lid down so I could plop down on it as a fresh wave of dizziness spiraled through me.

I stared at the pills, wracking my addled brain for a logical explanation. Had I miscounted the weeks when I started this pack? Why the fuck didn’t I just pop it into the damn dispenser case? It would’ve taken me two seconds.

I stilled as it hit me. The nights I stayed at Ethan’s…I brushed my teeth in his bathroom. Not mine, where the toothpaste rested next to the pills, reminding me to take them.

The pill pack hit the tile floor as my fingers tangled in my hair, pulling it roughly. I counted backwards, trying to remember when I’d last had a period. My heart pounded against my breastbone, and I was finding it hard to breathe.

I started sleeping with Ethan nearly five weeks ago…and I hadn’t had a period in all that time. My last one was the week before he started working at the boutique.

“Fuck,” I shouted, bending at the waist as my hands covered my abdomen. “Shit. Fuck. Shit.”

Tears poured from my eyes as I rocked up and down. Fear cycled through my veins, my entire body flashing hot and cold as I sobbed.

How could I have not realized I’d missed taking my pill on those days? How could I not see what was happening with my body? That I hadn’t had a fucking period the whole time Ethan and I had been together?

“No.”

I stood and rushed into my bedroom, yanking clothes from the closet. This was a mistake. Some kind of hormonal imbalance. Skipping pills could do that, right? Of course, it could. I’d just thrown my body all out of whack, and my period was just late.

And the puking was a twenty-four-hour bug.

And the dizziness was low blood sugar.

I threw on a pair of leggings and a baggy t-shirt, threw my tangled hair into a messy bun, and grabbed my keys, phone, and wallet before rushing downstairs. I texted Patty as I strode through the boutique, asking her to come open the store this morning. She texted right back, saying she’d be there, and I let myself out and locked the door behind me before jogging to my car.

I drove to Bull’s Eye, barely maintaining the speed limit as I continued to mentally list all the possible reasons for my ailments besides the one that beat on the walls I’d erected around my mind. I rushed inside, not caring that I looked like a psychopath, and ran to the pharmacy section.

Grabbing several different options, I rushed to the self-check-out line to ring them up myself and pay for them. No way did I need some clueless cashier asking me about my purchases—six different types of pregnancy tests—and wishing me good luck.

Fuck that. Good luck would be me waking up in my bed to realize this was all a terrible nightmare.

When I was safely back in my car, not having run into anyone I knew holding six months’ worth of pregnancy tests, I cranked the engine. As I reached for the gear shift, I paused. I didn’t want to go back home. I didn’t want to do this alone.

Making a decision, I pulled out of the lot and headed toward the one person I knew who’d be able to give me some perspective—Belle. She was the only one who’d been…no. I wasn’t even going to think it.

Belle was going to laugh at me, tell me I was imagining things, and give me some pink shit that would ease my stomach. It would be fine. I would be fine.

As I pulled into Belle and Ryder’s driveway, my panic intensified. I hadn’t called. What if Belle was at work? And Ryder was home with Jamie? I couldn’t let him see me like this. I couldn’t let him see the tests…

My panic settled a bit as the house came into view. The garage was open, and Belle’s car was inside. And Ryder’s truck was missing.

I parked and leapt from the car, shoving the bag of tests down the front of my pants just to be safe. Rushing toward the door, I banged my fist against it rapidly until it swung open.

“Jesus, Ember. The baby is asleep,” she scolded, her words trailing off as she got a good look at my face.

She reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me inside and straight into her arms. Fresh tears poured down my cheeks, my body heaving as sobs wracked through me. Belle made shushing noises as she rubbed circles on my back. It wasn’t until I started to calm that she pulled away. Swinging the door closed, she held my hand and led me to the living room sofa.

“What’s happened?” she asked, sandwiching my hand between both of hers. “Is it Ethan? Did he hurt you? I’m going to kick his fucking ass.”

A keening wail slipped through my lips at her words, and a stricken expression twisted her face. I shook my head, trying to let her know I was okay, but I couldn’t stop sobbing.

“It’s n-not E-Ethan,” I finally stuttered out between heaving breaths. “I-it’s m-me.”

“Okay. Calm down, Em. Just breathe for a minute. Then tell me what’s happening.”

I nodded vigorously, and then concentrated on regulating my breathing. I was pretty sure this was the first time she’d seen me cry since we were in grade school. I was the tough one. The one with the thick skin. Nothing fazed me.

Yet here I was, bawling like a fucking baby—

Shit. No. Don’t think that word. It’s not… It’s not…

“Ember.”

I met Belle’s gaze, and she lifted her hands slowly as she inhaled, then pushed them back down on a long exhale. She nodded, encouraging me to breathe with her, and slowly, my body calmed and my heart slowed to a survivable rhythm.

I pulled up my shirt and shoved my hand into my leggings. Pulling out the bag, I tossed it into Belle’s lap. Giving me a confused look, she untwisted the top of it to look inside. Her eyes widened into saucers before leaping up to meet mine.

“You think you might be pregnant?” she whispered.

I did this weird thing with my head that was a cross between shaking and nodding. Belle tilted her head back, her eyes falling closed as she took a deep breath. Then she turned back toward me, pinning me with a hard stare.

“Everything is going to be fine. Do you hear me? Whether you are, or you aren’t, you are going to be just fine.”

“Fine,” I repeated, my voice sounding robotic as I nodded once.

“Okay,” she said, returning the nod. “Tell me everything.”

“My period is two weeks late,” I said in slow, careful words. “I realized this morning that I missed some pills. Staying at Ethan’s…I just forgot to keep up with them.”

“How many pills?” she asked, and I shrugged.

“Six.” I swallowed thickly and added, “I realized this after I smelled coffee this morning and puked my guts out.”

“Oh,” she said, biting her lip. “That’s…it could be any number of things. You should take one of these. I’ll be right here with you.”

“Thank you,” I breathed, taking the bag and pushing myself to my feet.

After closing myself in the bathroom, I methodically opened all six tests. Three were the classic type, showing two lines for positive and one for negative, just made by different companies. One showed a plus sign for positive, and the last two were the digital kind that spelled out the results in actual words.

I’d yet to pee this morning, so my bladder felt like it was about to explode. Squatting over the toilet, I peed on each stick before capping it and setting it on the counter. I finished up and washed my hands before setting a three-minute timer on my phone. Switching off the light, I walked back out to the living room to rejoin Belle on the couch.

I set my phone between us so we could both watch the timer count backwards to zero. Belle took my hand, squeezing it tightly as we waited in silence. My eyes started to burn as I refused to blink, watching the numbers dwindle. I squeezed them closed, scrunching up my whole face as I mentally prepared myself for the outcome.

When the buzzer sounded, I was so deep in my thoughts, I yelped and my ass flew a few inches off the couch. Belle gave me a reassuring look and squeezed my hand.

“It’s time.”

“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t want to know.”

“Ember, you have to,” she said, but when I continued to shake my head, she sighed. “Do you want me to do it?”

“Thank you,” I said with a nod, tears burning my eyes again.

“Remember what I said. You’re going to be fine,” she reminded me with a hug before pushing herself up and heading to the bathroom.

She came back out a few seconds later, and I couldn’t read her expression. It was some strange cross between joy and dread. Lifting her hands, she showed me all six tests, which were fanned out between her fingers like a poker hand.

“You’re pregnant,” she whispered.

My wide eyes scanned the tests—two lines, two lines, two lines, a plus sign, and two that read “pregnant.” I started to hyperventilate, and Belle dropped the tests to the coffee table before plopping down next to me and pulling me into her arms.

“How did this happen?” I croaked out between breaths.

“I think you know,” she deadpanned. “But if you need a biology lesson, I can try to explain.”

“Shut up,” I said, pushing her away with a growl.

She gave me a smile and pressed her hand to my cheek. “Someone needed to break the tension before you combusted. It’s not the end of the world, Ember. Let’s talk this through, and I know we can figure out what to do. Ethan is—”

“You can’t tell him,” I cut in quickly. “Or Ryder. Fuck. You can’t tell anyone. Not until I decide what I’m going to do.”

“Of course, I’ll do whatever you want,” she said, her voice soft and soothing. “But Ember, I do think it’s a mistake, not telling Ethan. This is his child, too.”

My heart tripped at her words. I could feel myself trying to fall apart again, but I gritted my teeth and steeled my spine.

“I promised him it was okay, Belle. I told him I was on birth control, and we didn’t need condoms.”

“Nothing is a hundred percent effective,” she started, but I shook my head.

“Stop. This is my fault. I turned a three-percent risk into a hundred-percent risk by not holding up my end of the deal. He’s going to blame me.”

“Ember, no. Don’t say—”

“He’s going to hate me for ruining his life,” I cut in. “I’m in love with him, and I’m going to lose him.”

“Wait. What?” Belle gasped, leaning away to look at my face. “You’re in love with him?”

“What? No. I didn’t say that,” I argued, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Yes, you did,” she shot back, still looking at me with wonder.

“No, I didn’t, Belle.”

I tried to lose myself in denial, but it was impossible. I knew exactly what I said, and I meant it. I’d fallen head over heels in love with Ethan Perry, and he was going to hate me for trapping him with an unplanned pregnancy.

“Ok, fine. You didn’t say what I distinctly heard you say,” she snarked, then her face softened. “Honey, he’s not going to hate you for this, but he will if you make decisions without him and don’t tell him the truth.”

I knew she was right. This baby was his, too. I needed to tell him.

And I would. Eventually.

“I just need some time, Belle,” I said, beseeching her with my eyes.

“I understand,” she said. “Just don’t wait too long. And don’t close yourself off from everyone who cares about you, Ethan included.”

Belle was my best friend, and she knew me well. Toowell.