Taming Lucinda by Normandie Alleman

Chapter 10

Lucinda

With the sun low enough in the sky for the garden lights to be on, Dynassy, Bridger, and I surveyed the final arrangement for the seating, aisle, and altar.

I'd gotten glimpses of Cole's handiwork before, but this was a first look for the happy couple. Even in the shadows of twilight, his carving skills shined. He'd made them a lovely archway with vines and blooming flowers all hand-carved.

I had no idea when he'd found the time in under three weeks, but he continued to impress me.

"Cole, this is incredible!" Dynassy cried, a hand going up to cover her mouth. Her eyes welled up with tears, and she clung to Bridger's arm. "Isn't it so beautiful?" she asked with a sniffle.

"Be careful," I warned. "We've already touched up your makeup three times tonight, and we haven't even left for the restaurant yet."

"I know," Dynassy groaned. "I'm sorry. It's just these stupid hormones." She started swiping at her eyes, and I knew I'd be touching up her makeup at least one more time tonight.

"It really is very impressive," Bridger said, rubbing one hand up and down Dynassy's arm, slow and soothing. He held her close and let her cry without making a big production about any of it.

"Thanks," Cole said. I recognized that sheepish tone in his voice, and I was sure if there was more light in the garden, I would've been able to see his ears reddening. "Full disclosure: this is my wedding gift. Your registry was a little outside of my budget." He was good-humored about it in a way that said he liked the way things were.

Most men would say they didn't care about my money, but with Cole, I truly believed it. He showed little interest in the finer things I'd offered him. It was refreshing, even if it had been a struggle to get him to agree to formalwear two days in a row. We compromised—he was going to wear a tuxedo to the wedding, but for the rehearsal dinner tonight, he was going in a sport coat without a tie. He'd made me promise I wouldn't let him stick out like a sore thumb, and that was about as casual as I could let him go.

He looked damn good in the slacks and tailored coat. I wasn't sure if he'd be happy or horrified to hear that he was going to fit in just fine.

"It's perfect," Dynassy said. "Honestly, between the wedding and the babies, we're up to our eyeballs in gifts. We're already working on donating some of it, so I'm glad you didn't waste your money."

"Okay, so you'll come in from over there, down the walkway. Bridger will be on this side, you'll be over here, and Eduardo will be back there—"

"Mom, isn't the point of the rehearsal dinner to rehearse? Shouldn't everyone be here to run through this?"

I sighed. "Getting them all in one location is challenge enough. I don't think we could count on pulling off a location change with the whole group intact."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I still can't believe Eden convinced Leo to join us via Zoom."

"I still can't believe that's how he's joining," Cole grumbled. I was the only one who heard him, it seemed. Dynassy and Bridger were standing under the arch, facing each other, holding hands, both of them lost in their own world.

"So then we'll do the vows and everything, and you'll kiss and… Well, you know."

Dynassy laughed. "It's okay, Mom. It's a wedding we threw together at the last minute. I'm not expecting perfection."

"At least if we screw up there's only going to be a dozen people here," Bridger pointed out.

"Exactly," Dynassy chuckled. "I think we've got the gist of it. We should get to the restaurant before people decide to leave." It was still surprising to me how casual she was being about the whole thing. The last time I'd mentioned it, she asked me if it was the wedding or the marriage that was more important. She and Bridger had other priorities.

He certainly wasn't the kind of guy I’d expected to see my daughter with, but the more I’d thought about it, the more I’d recognized that he was exactly the kind of man Dynassy needed. He balanced her out perfectly. I really did believe they'd make wonderful parents. It wouldn't always be easy, especially not with two so close in age, but they were a strong couple. They could do it.

"We'll meet you there," I said, sending her off with a quick hug.

Once they were out of sight, Cole put his arms around me, his brow furrowing with concern. "Everything okay?"

"I'm going to tell them tonight."

His eyebrows shot up. "Really? Tonight?"

"I don't know when I'll ever have them all together again, and I'd rather not explain the whole thing more than once."

Cole nodded, then pulled me close against him, resting his chin on the top of my head. "You have my full support; you know that."

I wrapped my arms around him, hoping none of my makeup transferred to his shirt. "You sure you're ready for this circus?" I asked. I didn't want him to back out—I really needed his support for what was in store—but I also didn't want the drama of this night to ruin what we had.

"Bring it on," he said, snaking his hand down to squeeze my butt.

I blew out a long breath, nodding. "All right. Let's do it."

The dinner was awkward from the start.

How could it not be? Leo was there on a freaking iPad. Everyone was trying to be happy for Dynassy, trying so hard that it felt like some of us were wearing masks. But that was what we Barneses did. It was what we'd always done.

It was when Eduardo suggested we all share some words of wisdom with the newlyweds-to-be that I saw my opportunity.

Russ had been watching me closely all night. If the toasts got around to me and I didn't say something, I was sure that he would. My hands were tied, and I just wanted to start the healing process for my family.

Cole squeezed my hand when it was my turn to speak. I stood up, raising my glass.

"To Dynassy and Bridger. I hope your family is full of laughter, love, and honesty. As I hope for ours to be." I swallowed, my throat tight as I looked around at everyone gathered. Suddenly, this didn't just feel difficult; it felt impossible.

Then I looked to the iPad with Leo's face and saw his video freeze for a moment. This had gone on long enough. Leo needed to be a part of this family again.

Even if it meant I couldn't be.

"There's something I need to share with you all. Something I should have shared a long time ago..."

I had no plan for how I was going to explain it, but the words spilled out anyway, one after the other, laying out the whole situation in lurid detail. Possibly too much detail considering half the audience was made of my children.

I was through with hiding, though. Through holding back. They could reject me if they wanted, but they were going to be rejecting all of me. The real me. I wouldn't let them shut me out without seeing me for the woman I really was.

By the time I was finished, I could've heard a pin drop. Of course, there were no pins falling in the private dining room of Melaza. What I heard instead was Leo hanging up the Zoom call.

"Are you kidding me?" Eden's screech was next, startling her kids.

"Mom, what the hell?" Dynassy hissed while Nick worked on calming his wife down—or, at least, keeping her from lunging across the table at me.

My attempt at a fresh start was not going over as well as I'd hoped.

"Maybe I should go," I offered gently, half expecting them to all form a frothing mob at any moment. Ivy was fuming, Nick and Eden looked murderous, Dynassy didn't seem much happier with me, and there was no wondering how Leo felt...

It was a disaster.

"I think that's a good idea," Bridger said. Even he sounded pissed, though his tone was level.

"Come on," Cole said gently, pulling on my hand.

That shook me out of my daze a little. He was still there. Still next to me. Still holding my hand.

Without him, I might have never made it out of there. But Cole guided me as my vision clouded with tears. He got me into the car while my head was buzzing, and all I could see was their angry stares. And once we were alone together, safe in the car and on our way back to my place, he pulled me against his chest and stroked my back.

"I'm sorry that didn't go how you'd hoped," he said softly, kissing the top of my head.

"Me too." After a minute passed in silence, I looked up at him, blown away by his wisdom and maturity. He was young, but only in body—in his energy and libido. In his heart, he was an old soul. "Thank you for sticking with me."

"I told you I would," he said, squeezing me again.

Even after everything he knew, everything that had happened, Cole didn't judge me.

I'd never had that in a relationship. Even Ziggy had his judgmental moments. Times when he clearly wished I was quieter or tamer, more palatable, maybe. He'd told me more than once that I could be abrasive in my first impressions.

I couldn't imagine Cole ever saying something like that. Cole seemed to actually accept me for who I was.

It was something I didn't understand I was missing until I had it. Seeing how readily he accepted me revealed how much I was being asked to apologize for in other aspects of my life. Everyone was always asking for more, for less, for a change to this part of my personality or that part of my vocabulary.

Cole asked for nothing.

That kind of moral support was invaluable. On that ride home, I figured out just how important he really was to me, and that made me hold on tighter. There was still one person in my life who wasn't running for the hills. I refused to lose him.

"I don't even know if they're going to want to do the wedding at my place now," I said with sudden realization.  "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I just thought it would be better to get it out before the wedding, so we could move forward without any secrets... I've been a fool, haven't I?"

Cole stroked my hair, winding it around his finger the way he liked to when he was starting to drift off to sleep. "I don't think you've been a fool," he said. "And I don't think they're going to cancel the wedding. It's tomorrow, and everyone is already in town. It's probably going to be pretty awkward, though."

I buried my face in his chest, not caring about my makeup getting on his shirt anymore. "Maybe I shouldn't go. I'll just stay in my room and let them have the wedding without me."

"Don't be silly. You're Dynassy's mother. She's going to want you at her wedding. If anyone tries to talk to you about all of this, just tell them you want to keep the focus on Dynassy on her big day, and you'll talk about it another time."

I frowned. "You really think it's going to be that easy?"

"I don't think it's going to be easy at all, but I think that's about all you can do."

"I appreciate your honesty."

He nodded, leaning in to kiss me. "And in time, everyone will appreciate yours too."

I wasn't sure I believed him, but I had to hold onto hope. If I couldn't, I'd have to accept that I’d just dropped a nuclear bomb on my family. With Cole's help, I chose to believe there was still something I could salvage from the wreckage.