Taming Lucinda by Normandie Alleman

Chapter 18

Lucinda

After the wild night we'd had with the twins, the thing I wanted most in the world was to sleep in.

Not really possible with two small children who wanted breakfast.

Apparently, Eden's household started their day early—too early for Esther to be here to help me out. I carved a path through the kitchen mess to start a pot of coffee while Cole entertained the kids with some kind of game.

My phone lit up with a call from Eden before the coffee had even started to drip through.

"We're on our way!" she said as soon as I answered.

"What? Already? You don't have to be in any hurry—"

"It sounded like things were moving pretty quickly when I talked to Dynassy," she said with that clipped, matter-of-fact tone that doctors always had in serious situations.

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"The surrogate went into labor this morning. We're meeting everyone at the hospital once we come get the kids—She didn't call you?"

My heart sank. "She didn't."

"I'm sure she meant to..."

"I'm not. I'll get the kids ready for you," I added, desperate to end the call before my emotions got the best of me.

"Annabelle? Albert? Mommy and Daddy are on their way to pick you up, so why don't you pack up your things and get your shoes on." Cole gave me a questioning look, but I ignored it. I couldn't right now. Not in front of the babies. My head was swirling, my chest so tight I thought it might explode with every breath.

"Aww," Albert pouted.

"Do we have to?" Annabelle asked.

"Aunt Dynassy's baby is coming. Don't you want to meet your new cousin?" My throat tightened, and I was grateful the twins were too young to understand that my voice was breaking.

"Dynassy's in labor?" Cole asked, alert and ready to jump into action.

"The surrogate. Come on guys, I'm sure Mommy will let you come visit Grandma again if you ask nicely."

Thanks to Cole, that was. I would've been banned from babysitting duty forever without his rescue.

I managed to hold it all together until Eden and the kids left. I got to see Nick for only a minute, just long enough for him to collect the bags, and then they were all gone again. At least the kids hugged me on their way out. It was an improvement.

"Aren't you going to the hospital with everyone else?" Cole asked once we were alone.

"Nope." Screw the coffee, I needed wine.

"Shit...I'm sorry, Lucinda. That sucks."

"Yeah. Thanks again for all your help last night."

He grabbed my wrist as I reached for a wine glass, stopping me in my tracks. "That's it?"

"Expecting a quickie before you hit the road?"

"Woah." He took a step back, narrowing his eyes at me. "Where the hell is that coming from? It's not like that. You're the one who's been avoiding me and pretending I don't exist. I thought maybe we'd be able to talk about what's going on. I thought you'd be above all this petty drama stuff—"

"Because I'm old?" I scoffed, voice and hands trembling. He wasn't wrong. I was being ridiculous, but I was hurt. When I was hurt, I lashed out. Unfortunately for us both, Cole was just nearest target. He should've gotten out when he had the chance. I didn't know if I could cut my warpath short now.

"Because you're an adult, Lucinda. Or I thought you were. I thought if you had a problem with me, you'd talk to me."

"And I thought if you wanted a show you'd come to me," I answered, crossing my arms like I was a kid gearing up for a tantrum. That's what I felt like. I was bigger than that.

Wasn't I?

I didn't know anymore. Cole was right. I'd gotten way too involved in petty drama in this stage of my life. Lost sight of what was important. How could I course-correct when I'd already gone so far down this road?

"What are you talking about?" he asked, more confused than angry. The furrow between his brows always made him look so serious. It made me want to kiss him. Even when I was mad at him.

"Don't play dumb." I snatched the wine glass from him, pushing him aside. I never would have been able to move him if he wanted to resist me and knowing that he let me through just pissed me off more. "I know all about it. Nancy Carhouse. A pilot for the Modern freaking Living Channel—Why would you go to them? Do you know how bad that makes me look? I would've given you anything you wanted. Why did you go behind my back?"

"Jesus, Lucinda, is that what this is about?" He dragged his hand through his dark hair, blowing out a long breath.

I scoffed again, pouring myself a big glass of wine, tears brimming up in my eyes again.

Yet another grandchild I'd never get to know.

"I don't want a show. That woman called me and wouldn't take no for an answer. I had to go down to her office to tell her in person that I wasn't going to be a part of their stupid screentest or anything else."

My runaway train of thought slammed on the brakes, everything coming to a screeching halt.

"You're not doing the show?" I asked, pausing with the wine glass at my lips, my voice barely a whisper.

"No! Of course I'm not. I told you I don't want that kind of life."

I rolled my eyes, taking a big drink. "Everyone says that. Then they see the first check and change their mind."

He chuckled, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't look defensive anymore. He was relaxed. Like this whole thing was some big joke and he'd just figured out the punchline.

"I'll admit, when she sent that first email with the initial numbers, I thought about it for a second. But then I remembered I don't need more money. I have everything I want. Everything I need...At least all that money can buy," he added, looking at me.

"I... You haven't signed anything?"

"Hell no! Lucinda, I told you, I'm happy being your gardener. You're all I need." He left his post on the wall and crossed the space between us, his hands falling into place on my hips. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too," I admitted. "I wanted to be mad at you—I felt so betrayed—but when everything was falling apart here, you were the only person I wanted to call."

"I thought I was the only person you could call," he teased, grinning that same grin that had first made my heart stop. The one that still made my breath catch. That never failed to produce a matching smile on my face.

"Same thing," I answered, shrugging.

"They are very much not the same, but I'm glad you called me either way. I had fun."

"Me too," I realized.

"We make a good team."

"When I'm not pushing you to do something you don't want to?" I asked with a humorless laugh.

He grinned. "You said it."

"It's a theme in my life," I sighed. "I've got to make things better with Dynassy before her baby comes. It's bad enough that I'm missing this one, but if I don't get to hold her hand while she's in labor..."

Cole set my wine aside and pulled me into him. "You'll figure it out. You always do."

"Not when it comes to my kids—that the one area of life I just can't seem to—" I stopped, then leapt into action. My phone was ringing. My grandchild was being born and my phone was ringing.

"It's Dynassy!" Cole called, rushing my phone to me, tracking flour everywhere—thankfully Nick and Eden hadn't looked into the kitchen, or they'd know how much of a disaster my foray into babysitting had really been.

"Dynassy? Is everything okay?" My heart hammered, every second stretching on for eternity. So many things could go wrong during labor and delivery, and I couldn't help running through all of them while I waited for her response.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to leave you out, but we were already at the limit—I told Nick that they didn't need to hurry down here, but he apparently didn't convey that message to his lovely wife. Anyway, everything's going good. Her contractions are still ten to fifteen minutes apart—"

"Dynassy, when it's your turn, I want to hold your hand," I blurted out, tears of shame and relief mixing together, threatening to spill over.

"Obviously," she laughed. "Bridger's already tapped out with the surrogate. He said he's worried about me breaking his fingers—of course Barbara said he'd just have to build another machine until they healed..."

"She would," I laughed, swiping away a stray tear. I'd always liked Bridger's mom. Being a sex therapist meant she didn't have many off-limit topics. It was always fun to get her perspective on subjects, and unlike my kids' other in-laws, Barbara and I actually got along all right. Co-grandparenting with her would be a hoot.

In the blink of an eye I'd gone from crying to grinning. Maybe I was losing it. Too many ups and downs. Too much stress and lack of sleep. But hearing my daughter's voice, knowing that she didn't hate me and wasn't shutting me out of her life—how could I not be overjoyed with that? Who wouldn't be beaming?

"I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner," Dynassy said. There was no missing the exhaustion in her voice, but it was mixed with so much excitement. That was probably why she hadn't gotten any sleep. Too eager for the baby. Too busy finishing all the last minute touches if I knew my Dynassy. "Everything's really hectic and I didn't even realize how far the word had spread until Eden mentioned that you seemed bummed and—"

"I just assumed you were still mad about the rehearsal dinner debacle," I admitted, making no effort to hide my shame. For too many years I kept up the perception that I didn't make mistakes, that everything was carefully calculated and planned. It had earned me some not-nice nicknames from my kids and industry colleagues alike. Maybe if I'd been more willing to admit my mistakes things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand.

"I was," she admitted. "But like we said before the dinner, the marriage is way more important than the wedding. Even so, I shouldn't have kept you out of it. All the group photos look wrong without you in them. I started thinking about how I'd feel if the tables were turned and my daughter kept me out of her wedding for something Bridger and I do in private...It was shitty of me, Mom. If I want to be a good mom, I need to start with being a better daughter."

"You're going to be a great mom, Dynassy," I said, getting choked up all over again. It was all hitting me at once. She didn't hate me. She wasn't blocking me out of her life. And we would soon have two new additions to this crazy expanding family tree. "I'm so proud of you, honey."

"Oh crap, Bridger says she's at six centimeters. I've gotta go. Love you!"

"Love you too! Call me when you get a chance."

Cole slipped an arm around me from behind as I set the phone down.

"That didn't sound so bad."

"No... Actually, everything's good. With Dynassy, at least."

"And Ivy," he pointed out. "And Nick and Eden..."

"I know I should stop holding out hope for Leo, but—"

"But you're his mom. You're not going to do that."

"No, I'm not," I admitted with a sigh. "I'll never stop hoping."

"I know," he said. "It's one of the things I love about you."

For a moment, all the air left the room. It seemed like he might say more, like something monumental was about to happen, but instead, he stepped back, smiled at me, then leaned in for a kiss.

"I've got to go deal with things at home and run some errands. Don't leave all that mess for Esther," he said, pocketing his wallet and keys.

I arched a brow, hands on my hips. It seemed someone forgot who wrote the checks around here.

"Excuse me?"

He grinned, a devilish gleam in his eyes. "You heard me. I'll ask her. And so help me, Lucinda, if you didn't make an effort, I'm going to spank that ass until it's cherry red."

A shudder of desire swept through me, my thighs clenching tight together. It was all playful. He would never hurt me. He'd never go further than I wanted him to. But I was continually surprised by just how far I wanted him to go.

We sure hadn't found the limit yet.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I called back right before he opened the door. He whipped his head around to look back at me and the fire in his eyes told me I was going to pay for that sass.

The sizzle between my legs answered, 'I can't wait.'

It was still two more hours before Dynassy sent the first pictures of their new baby out to the family group message.

By the afternoon, they were inviting the family in to meet the new little one.

"I forgot how tiny a newborn is," I said, shaking my head down at little Emmie. They'd decided to keep up with the naming theme: first dynasty, and now empire. The Barnes legacy would live on with this little one. She had a mop of black hair just like Dynassy had when she was born, and her father's light green eyes that looked like jade lit from within. There was no doubt she'd be every bit as gorgeous, talented, and inventive as her parents. She had the whole world at her feet, every opportunity she could ever dream of.

Right now she was content to sleep swaddled up in the hospital blankets.

"You know, we planned and prepared and did all the classes and everything," Dynassy said, staring at her baby with the same awe that every new parent had. "But I still can't believe they're just going to let us walk out of here with her. Just like that. It feels like there should be some sort of test."

"Life is the test," I chuckled. "You'll get the hang of things very quickly," I promised.

"We better," Bridger said. "Pretty soon we'll have double-duty."

I handed Emmie over to Barbara as she said, "You won't have to do it alone."

"Definitely not. That's what grandmas are for," I agreed, my heart so full of love and joy I couldn't stand it.

"Get ready for a lot of late-night calls," Dynassy laughed.

"My phone is always on," I assured her. "And if you ever need a break for a nap or anything—"

"Thanks, Mom," she said, coming in for a hug. "I'm really glad you're here."

"Always," I promised, hugging back as hard as I could with her beachball stomach between us.

It was nearly dark by the time I left the hospital, and I'd barely reached my car when I got a call from Cole.

"How is everything?" he asked.

"Good," I answered with a happy sigh. "Mom and baby are both healthy. A nurse helped Dynassy and Bridger pack Emmie into the car seat and they're on their way home."

"What are you doing for dinner?"

"I haven't even thought about it. Have something in mind?" It was hard to believe that I was unsure about Cole and our future just a day ago.

Crazy what talking things out could accomplish.

It had taken me a long time to learn that lesson, but it was a lesson worth waiting for. Talking things out had fixed nearly every relationship problem I'd had.

Nearly.

I wasn't going to let one dark spot dim this bright day, though.

"I do, actually. Are you headed home?"

"I haven't left the hospital parking lot. Should I come to your place instead?"

"No," he said quickly. "Go home. I'll meet you there."

I got the sense that something strange was going on, but I was far too tired to analyze every one of Cole's words. The past couple days had been a complete blur. Was it only last night that the twins had stayed over?

I'd had wine instead of coffee, and then I couldn't remember if I'd ever actually had lunch.

I rubbed my hand over my face, pulling sleep dust out of my eyes.

If it wasn't for Cole, I probably wouldn't have had the energy to worry about dinner either. He was so good at taking care of me when I'd let him. That wasn't easy for me, but I did like it. Loved it, in fact.

I loved being able to lean on him. Being able to count on him when I needed help. I loved that he looked out for me and always seemed to know what I needed even when I was too distracted to know myself.

I loved how much he cared about me. How he made me feel cherished.

It was the stress of the day making me so sappy, I knew that, but it didn't stop me from rolling that word over in my head again and again.

I loved that he made me feel loved.

Oh boy.

We'd been getting closer and closer. I'd been relying on him more and more. Opening up to him while telling myself I could still get out without my feelings being involved.

What an idiot I'd been.

It was supposed to be fun. No strings attached. Easy.

When did I fall in love?

It happened without me noticing, and my heart jumped into my thought at the realization.

Apparently, I wasn't done talking things out just yet.

Cole wasn't just waiting for me when I got home; he had a table set up in the garden, lights strung across the paths, candlelight glowing against the white tablecloth.

"Trial run for the wedding. What do you think?" he asked, leading me further into the garden. "I've still got to change out some of the planting—I want to add some pops of bright pink. I don't think Ivy's wedding would be complete without a little neon pink, do you?"

"You're amazing, you know that?" I asked, a peaceful smile spreading as I moved in for a kiss. "Really, really amazing." I could've picked worse when handing my heart off, that was for sure.

"You are too," he answered, guiding me back to the table, pouring a glass of wine for us both before leaving to fetch the food. Take-out, I hoped. I might love him, but I wasn't ready to test out his cooking after all the warnings he'd given.

"This is so wonderful," I said, looking at the wonderful meal he'd brought out. The food, the wine, the setting—it was magical. And still the best part of it all was the company.

"I'm glad we're okay."

"Me too. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it sooner. With everything else going on, I didn't think I could handle you rejecting me too. It was easier to just step back and put that distance up myself."

He nodded. "I know. I figured out you were probably scared."

"Scared?" I scoffed.

"Mhm. I still can't believe you thought I was actually going to do a show behind your back."

I shrugged, a little defensive. "The pieces all fit."

"But even if I did want a show—which you knew I didn't—how in the world could I host something produced by another company when my wife's the Queen of reality TV?"

My thought-train slammed into a brick wall.

"Your wife?"

His expression turned suddenly serious. "I love you, Lucinda. Even more than I realized, and I can't keep pretending that this isn't everything I want. You're everything I want. The answer to all my dreams. I can't stand another day without knowing you'll be mine... So," he said, his voice starting to waver as he left his seat and got down on the flagstones on one knee. "Will you marry me?" He pulled a ring box from his pocket and hinged it open, offering it.

The ring wasn't the massive diamond that Ziggy had gotten me. Far from it. The band was plain, and the stone was cut simply, but it was perfect. No frills, just like the man who'd offered it.

The man I loved.

My days of big diamonds and flashy jewelry felt like another lifetime.

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," he answered. "I've seen the circus your life can be, but I've also seen what a brilliant, passionate, incredible woman you are. I've seen how much you care about your family and how far you'll go to take care of them even when it's a thankless job."

"And you really want to be a part of all that?" I asked, skeptical.

"For you? Absolutely. So what do you say?"

"Yes," I answered, holding out my hand. "I never thought I'd walk down the aisle again after Ziggy. I never thought I could love another man the way I did Ziggy and Ray. I certainly never thought someone could love me like that..."

"And more," he said, sliding the ring on my finger. He pulled himself up and then dragged me into a kiss that seemed to go on forever.

"So much more," he said, eyes darkening with that familiar hunger that sent shivers racing down my spine. "I think I need to show you."

"Now? But dinner..."

"We'll order something else," he said, pulling my hand to the growing bulge at the front of his pants. "This is more important."

No arguments from me.