Taming Lucinda by Normandie Alleman

Chapter 6

Lucinda

Myalarmwentoff the same time it did every morning, but unlike most mornings, I wasn't alone in bed. I also wasn't in any big hurry to get up. Generally, I hated lounging around without any purpose. I wanted to be doing things, making things happen, making calls, getting business done. Sleep was an inconvenience.

But this morning, with Cole at my side, his warm, naked body sprawled out on my giant bed, all I wanted to do was linger and enjoy the moment.

Last night had been unexpected, but incredible. Cole knew me in ways that no one else did. No one ever had. He did things to my body that made me forget everything that had come before him.

I let him do things to me that I'd never dreamed of, and I'd loved every second of it.

The only thing he was still wearing was the watch I'd given him and a satisfied smile.

"Morning," he muttered without opening his eyes. My alarm must have woken him up too. His arm reached blindly across the bed, searching for me. He touched my arm, then moved his fingers toward my bare breast, tweaking my nipple until a surge of heat rushed through me, centering between my legs.

"Morning," I answered, breathless as he moved to the other breast. Once he'd gotten me good and worked up, he put his arm over me, pulled me close, and snuggled into my hair.

"What time is it?" he muttered.

"Six-thirty."

"You want coffee?" Getting up early wasn't unusual for him, but like most people—me included—he needed his go-juice in the morning.

"Esther will bring it up. Are you hungry? I can get us breakfast too.”

He sat up, stretched, then wrinkled his nose. "I should probably get home and shower. I never got the chance to wash up after work yesterday."

"Use mine. Breakfast and coffee will be here by the time you're done."

He hesitated for a moment longer, then seemed to decide it wasn't worth debating.

While he was showering, I sent a message to Esther, asking her to bring two coffees and breakfast for the both of us.

I didn't have to go making big press announcements, but I didn't have to hide him either. There had to be a middle ground somewhere, and I knew I could count on Esther to be discreet. Despite Cole saying he understood my reasons, I knew eventually it was going to come down to me being open about our relationship or losing him.

The second option was unthinkable, so I was just going to have to swallow some of my need to control everything and take a chance.

If anyone was worth it, it was Cole. He was a warm, genuine guy, but he also seemed to get me in ways that no one else ever had. Not my kids, not their fathers. And the sex... Well, that was the best I'd had in years. Decades. Maybe ever? Never had I been with a man so committed to my pleasure. And that stamina... I didn't know how he’d managed all that energy, but I knew he needed some fuel after last night.

His shower was shorter than I’d expected, and he came out of the bathroom with one towel slung around his hips and another in his hand, ruffling through his dark hair.

"Your water pressure is incredible," he said, a note of orgasmic bliss in his tone. I wanted to ask if it was much worse at his place, but I stopped myself. I hadn't thought much about the kind of place Cole lived in, but he'd never mentioned it; somehow, I didn't think he'd want to talk about it.

"Breakfast should be here any minute," I told him, wrapping my robe around myself as I stepped toward the window.

Being with Cole always invariably brought up the comparisons. And I always wound up thinking of my past lovers.

Two in particular.

Only now, thinking about Ziggy and Ray made me think about the call I'd gotten from Russ the other day. I'd tried to put it out of my mind with everything going on with Dynassy's pregnancy and the uncertainty between me and Cole, but now that one of those dilemmas wasn't so pressing, Russ' message came back to haunt me.

Cole was looking at me expectantly, and I realized he must have asked a question I’d missed.

"I'm sorry; what were you saying?"

He stepped up behind me, his arms wrapping around to my front. "Nothing important, just talking about the new bromeliads. You seem far away. Something on your mind?"

I shook my head, turning away from the window.

"No, it's nothing."

The same time I answered, there was a knock on the bedroom door.

"That'll be Esther with breakfast," I said.

Cole chuckled, shaking his head. "Room service in your own house. Must be nice."

"It is," I answered, grinning as I opened the door for Esther. "We'll take it on the terrace; thank you."

Cole arched a brow at me, clearly asking if I meant to be this open about him. It was time, though. His understanding and acceptance deserved a reward.

Esther asked if there was anything else we needed, and then we were alone again, a new charged energy between us now that we were a little less secretive.

"This place really does look better than it ever has, thanks to you," I said, sitting across from him, looking out over the garden. My terrace had the best view, and Cole had made sure it was a view worth enjoying.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, and the restraint in his voice made me look back at him.

He was blushing. From the back of his neck to the tips of his ears, even across the bridge of his nose. He had a healthy, dark tan from all his time spent in the sun, but I could still see the spread of color, and it was almost too cute to take. And the way he looked at me... There was such admiration. I didn't know how to handle it. No one had looked at me like that in a very long time.

"Can you keep a secret?" I blurted out without thinking. I'd never be able to pinpoint what had done it, but somewhere along the line, Cole had changed my mind about being vulnerable with him. I'd let him take charge of me in the bedroom, and there was no denying that being blindfolded made me vulnerable, but I'd yet to let Cole in all the way.

It was time to change that.

"I can," he said, shifting in his seat, a concerned furrow forming between his brows as he leaned in.

"When you asked earlier, there was something on my mind. Ivy's boyfriend called me a few days ago... He knows some details of Leo's paternity and suggested I come clean with my children. He didn't say so explicitly, but I got the impression from his call that he's prepared to tell them if I won't."

The furrow between his brows deepened, new serious frown lines forming around his mouth. I was so used to seeing the easy-going version of him that this sober concern was uncharted territory.

"How does he know about it?"

"He was part of the band's security back in the day. He was around enough to... Well, I'm sure he knows plenty."

Some of his concern melted into confusion, the lines smoothing out. "Wait... What is it that he knows, exactly?"

I sighed. This was going to be a long story.

"First of all, you have to understand that I was a very different person when I first moved to California. My father was a drunk, and my mother worked herself to the bone to enable him. I had no love for my hometown, and the only thing I ever wanted was to go to Hollywood and be an actress."

He smiled. It was a story everyone had heard in this town. No one came to Hollywood without some dream of fame and riches. "You made it to Hollywood; did you get to be an actress?"

"No. I was never quite right for the role—too tall too short, my nose was too big, my hair too dark. Like every other failed actress, I wound up waiting tables, convinced my life had hit a dead end."

"Clearly not the case," he pointed out, topping off both our coffee cups before reaching for a muffin.

That was the easy part. The beginning of my story was nearly the same as every other person who’d found themselves chasing the Hollywood dream. The next part was what I was worried about. Cole seemed open-minded enough, but everyone had a limit to what was acceptable.

"No, not quite," I admitted with a small smile. I doctored my coffee with oat milk, stalling. "Some girlfriends took me down to Malibu one day, and there were these guys surfing massive waves, obviously trying to show off, you know?"

He nodded, a hint of a smile curving his lips. "Did it work?"

"It might've if one of them didn't completely wipe out. His friend had to go in to save him. We had no idea what kind of shape he was in, and I went over to see if he was okay... Ziggy opened his eyes, and it was love at first sight; like a freaking movie. But that was the way everything was with Ziggy—larger than life. He used to call me his angel..." I swallowed, a lump suddenly making my throat very tight.

Cole reached for my hand and squeezed. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me if it's too difficult."

I shook my head. "No... You should know." I took another long drink of coffee, then decided to message Esther for some mimosas. Caffeine alone wasn't going to cut it today.

"When we met, Ziggy was still an unknown. His band played any show they could get, and I went to all of them. When he finally started getting offers, I was the one who read his contracts and kept him from getting screwed. I was basically his manager. He shot to stardom, we got married, I had Nick—life was everything I'd ever wanted."

Cole's expression was back to confused. "So what's this about Leo?"

"Right. So when Ray joined the band, he and Ziggy had this magic. They could write songs out of thin air. They always seemed so in tune, and those songs became their greatest hits. And being Ziggy's manager, I was around all the time too. One night, we were all drinking and smoking, and one thing led to another..."

"Your secret is a threesome?" he asked, incredulous.

"That's only part of it. I woke up in the arms of a man who wasn't my husband, and Ziggy was getting out of bed, leaving us. I thought for sure he’d regretted everything that had happened, but he just told me it was all right, to go back to sleep. He’d wanted to write down some lyrics. That afternoon, Ray helped him with the melody and the hook, and it was like nothing had changed. But everything had changed. That was just the start of it. It wasn't always the three of us together—sometimes it was just me and Ziggy; sometimes it was just me and Ray. I'm sure there were sometimes it was just Ziggy and Ray too. I'd be surprised if there wasn't. We both loved him. Ziggy was a magnet. The sun to us both."

"Definitely sounds like an incredible guy," Cole said without a hint of insecurity.

"He was. But so was Ray. He was a poet, a dreamer. But he also had a wife and a daughter who he was never going to leave. He loved them both and wanted to be a good father. I'm sure Mary Lou suspected something was going on between me and her husband, but I don't think she ever realized Ziggy was in on it too. She just thought we were a couple of cheaters..." I paused. Cole had heard it too.

"Esther," I explained, leaving the terrace to answer the knock. My housekeeper came in to take away our dirty dishes, leaving a tray of mimosas behind.

"Thank you so much," I said, the sudden urge to hug her bubbling up. But that wasn't the kind of thing I did. Esther was just one of the few people who had never given up on me. She'd been with me a long time. I didn't know how to express my gratitude, but I'd always made sure she was well-paid.

I downed half a mimosa before I asked, "Where was I?"

"Your thruple," Cole prompted.

"We obviously never planned for it to happen, and it wasn't something we ever wanted to do full-time. Like I said, Ray loved his family and didn't want to leave them. We never wanted to make anything public. But with the twins... I think we all knew Leo was Ray's and Ivy was Ziggy's. It's more than just the physical traits. Ivy has Ziggy's same zest, his ability to walk into any room and command the attention of everyone with just their presence; and Leo has Ray's sensitivity, his ability to write soulful words that give you chills. He never did crave the spotlight like his sister. Ray was the same way."

Now Cole was finally starting to see the bigger picture.

"Leo found out about his paternity, but like Ray's wife, he thinks it was nothing more than infidelity. Russ thinks I should tell him the truth—tell them all the truth, I suppose."

The champagne in the mimosa was helping. It made this all feel a little less catastrophic. The fact that Cole hadn't run off yet was helping too.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I thought I was making the right decision by keeping the truth from them. If this got out, it could tarnish their legacies, it could harm the careers of my children; it could be the end of everything I've worked for. That we've all worked for."

"But...?"

I sighed. Why did he know me so well? He shouldn't.

I liked that he did.

"But my son hasn't spoken to me in nearly a year, and I haven't even met my grandchild. Telling him the truth might be the only path to reconciling with him. Right now he thinks I betrayed Ziggy, and I'm sure he and Eden both think I somehow lured Ray into cheating on his wife with my sinister ways."

"Eden?"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "You never watched The Barnes Bunch, did you?"

"Guilty," he said, that hint of color coming back to the tips of his ears.

"It's probably for the best," I admitted. "Eden is Nick's wife. Also Ray's daughter. They had a thing when they were younger, but after the plane crash, Mary Lou took Eden to Texas. She never could forgive me for what she thought I’d done. And by now, Nick probably blames me for all the years they’d lost." I blew out a heavy, defeated breath. "This is all such a mess. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to make things right again."

"Lucinda," he said, squeezing my hand, his deep, serious tone making me lock eyes with him. "You are an incredibly capable woman who could do anything she sets her mind to, I'm convinced. If you decide you're going to repair these rifts in your family, I know you'll be able to do it."

It wasn't often that I got a pep talk, but it sure was a nice change of pace. As much as I lifted everyone else up and made them believe in themselves, it had been a long time since I’d felt like anyone believed in me.

"Thank you... What do you think I should do?"

"Honestly? I don't think you have much to lose by telling them the truth. Your kids aren't going to be the ones to spill the beans with their careers at stake, and if no one else associated with the band has spoken up before now, I think you're probably safe."

"Maybe you're right," I said, looking out over the garden again. My stomach twisted at just the thought of talking to Leo and Ivy about it. Leo wasn't speaking to me. How could I ever get him to listen?

Maybe I’d waited too long. Maybe there was no hope of salvaging things now.

"Thank you for being so understanding."

Cole moved his chair over, sitting next to me. He pulled me into him, then kissed my forehead, giving me a firm, long hug.

I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to let go.