I Hated You First by Rachel John
Clay
John was ruining my life. It was like he knew I wanted to try something with Lauren, even something as innocuous as friendship. I couldn’t even have that.
Those gloomy thoughts had me dragging my feet into the shop on Monday morning. After changing into a jumpsuit, I immediately got to work on the Aichi bucket truck we’d brought back from Idaho. These things were highly sought after. They could fit in a space the size of a single parking spot, meaning construction crews didn’t have to shut down traffic or disrupt businesses while they washed high-rise building windows or serviced cell towers. The sooner it was rental-ready, the sooner we could turn it into a money-making machine.
Parker sought me out not ten minutes into replacing the seal on the hydraulic pump. He looked like he had a secret practically bursting out of him.
“We had an ownership meeting early this morning.”
“Well that’s a first, unless you count John talking to himself while he idles in his truck.”
Parker shifted his feet from side to side. “John got a valuation done on the company so he can issue stocks and give me and Lauren each twenty percent. Charlotte will have another twenty percent, and Dad stays the majority owner with forty. Eventually, when they want to retire, we’ll buy them out.”
Charlotte did the books when John first started out, and although she hadn’t had a day-to-day hand in things for years, it made sense to include her in the ownership. Especially if it gave her as much say as Parker and Lauren. If I had to pick the most level-headed member of the Harwood family, it would definitely be Charlotte.
“How are you feeling about all of it?” I asked, watching Parker’s face.
He shrugged. “I feel like I should be happier about it, but we spent the last part of the meeting doing what we always do. I say something I think should change, Lauren disagrees on how we should go about it, and Dad gives us a verbal pat on the head and goes off to do whatever he already planned on.”
“You’re twenty-five, Parker. Give this some time.”
He slugged me in the shoulder. “You sound like an old man. Like, all the time. And you look like an old man. Even your pants are high-water. Why are you wearing white socks with black shoes?”
“These aren’t high-water. I’m squatting down.” I stood to prove I was right, but my coveralls only hit my ankles. Dang it. I’d grabbed the wrong jumpsuit from the stacks. We had them professionally cleaned along with the rags to get out things like oil and brake fluid.
“Looking good, Clay,” Evan said, giving me a low whistle. He came over to hover, and I ignored the two of them and went back to working. Their conversation was just background noise.
Evan nudged my shoulder after a few minutes. “You coming?”
“To what?”
“My house tonight. You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?”
“Give me the short version,” I said. Evan should be used to people ignoring him. He never shut up.
“My girlfriend is out of town, and we’re playing Madden NFL on my PlayStation. It will be a lot more fun than hanging out here all night.”
“Okay, whatever.” It wasn’t like I had other plans on a Monday night. “Now, you two go get work done and leave me alone.”
“See you at seven.” Evan wandered off to go find other people to bother.
Parker left me a few minutes later after giving me more details about the ownership meeting I didn’t need to know. I had to admit, though, John knew his stuff when it came to the business. He didn’t pretend he couldn’t be hit by a bus tomorrow. He had his family’s future mapped out. My future was a blank canvas, now more than ever.
The only good thing about yesterday’s phone call? Neither John nor Lauren so much as looked at me, or at each other. We were this triangle of avoidance. I should have let her take the phone from me and let him have it. I’d gone over every bit of that conversation in my mind, wishing I could have ended it before John revealed just how little he planned to stay out of things.
Yes, Boyce had been a disaster. John loved the guy. Boyce had been a truck whisperer, honest to a fault, humble, patient, friendly, the perfect employee. Basically, the only guy I knew worthy of Lauren, the only one I hadn’t made fun of.
In that case, I hadn’t needed to. Lauren had been young, barely twenty, and I think she got a little scared of how much Boyce liked her. Maybe he told her he loved her. Maybe he even asked her to marry him. Those were my own theories. All anyone knew was that Lauren ended things. Broke his heart. And he quit the next day. No two-weeks’ notice. Nothing.
John mourned it all the more because Lauren didn’t seem to care. She wasn’t broken up over the guy at all, at least on the outside. Some of the guys at work had whispered ‘heartless’ behind her back after that. John saw it as immaturity on her part, a lack of emotional depth. But looking back, I think she just got careful about who she let really see her.
I wanted to take back all the stupid things I’d ever said about her boyfriends. The more I thought about it, the more I realized Lauren was as buttoned-up as I was. There was a whole world behind the mask she wore, and I wanted to see it. I wanted to understand her motives. Maybe even let her see mine.
But we couldn’t even be friends.