I Hated You First by Rachel John

Clay

 

 

 

That had been a lot of work for one of the worst dates of my life. Part of me wanted to go home, take two aspirin, and throw myself into bed. But the other part wanted redemption. I wanted the night I was supposed to have.

I walked Lauren to her truck. “I’ll follow you home.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. So I can walk you to your door. Make sure you get in okay.”

“Invite yourself in,” she added.

I clutched my chest. “Lauren, I would never. What kind of guy do you think I am? Besides, your roommate will be there, right?”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “I didn’t mean, invite yourself in like that. You wish. I just meant, you’d invite yourself inside to hang out and talk me into staying up late to watch a movie.”

“I accept.”

She shook her head at me and got into her truck. I took that as a yes and followed her home, parking my truck in the guest spot across from her.

We walked together up the steps to her apartment, and she unlocked her door and glanced back at me. “Come in. Don’t be a nuisance.”

“I feel welcome already.”

“I’m sure you do.” She went into her bedroom and came out a few minutes later wearing soft pink pajama pants and a gray T-shirt. “Jenny’s still out with her friend from out of town. She says she’ll be home at eleven-thirty.”

“Do you want me to go?” All joking aside, I wanted her to want me there, not push myself into her life. At some point, our teasing had to be backed by something real.

Lauren studied me before plopping down on the couch and holding out the remote.

I took it carefully, waiting for her to pull it back at the last second, but she didn’t. “Who are you, and what have you done with Lauren?”

“I’m too tired to pick.” She rested her head back. “I hate when Jenny’s not here.”

“Is she gone a lot?”

“Hardly ever. She doesn’t seem to mind when I’m gone, but I don’t like being here alone without her.”

“So I’m a space filler.” I sat down next to her and turned on the TV.

“Basically. It’s you or I start talking to my house plants.” She turned her head and smiled at me. “You offered, you know.”

“True.” I found Miss Congeniality and left it there, knowing it was a movie she liked. I wasn’t really paying attention to the screen so it didn’t matter. Lauren had her legs curled up in the most uncomfortable position, and after watching her shift them to the floor and back up again, I reached out and draped them across me, wrapping my hand around her knee.

She stared at the screen as if she hadn’t noticed at all, but I felt her tense and then slowly relax little by little, though she kept her arms folded—a clear message of there will be no hand-holding.

A few minutes later, she yawned and grabbed the remote, pausing the TV. “I’m gonna get water. Do you want some?”

“I’m okay.”

I missed the weight of her legs on me the second she left, and I wondered if she got up on purpose so she could put more distance between us. Sure enough, when she returned, she sat down on her end and hunched over, staring at the TV. It looked about as relaxing as a massage from the world record holder for longest fingernails.

I reached over and stole the glass of water out of her hands, finishing it off.

She gave me an indignant glare. “I asked if you wanted water.”

“Well, now I do. You need more?”

She shook her head.

I got up to put the cup by the sink, sitting as far away from her as possible when I came back. “I’m so glad you decided to put some space between us. I was going to say something if you didn’t.”

She ignored me and watched the movie, absentmindedly rubbing her bare arms like she was cold.

“Do you need a blanket?” I asked.

“Shh.”

Yeah, because William Shatner’s singing was so riveting. I got up, walked straight to her bedroom, and pulled her comforter from the bed. It smelled like her hair, with that sexy bubble bath scent I hadn’t stopped thinking about since I’d first noticed it.

“Are you sniffing my blanket?” She looked mortified. “Does it smell?”

I smiled. “It smells like you, and trust me, that’s not a bad thing.”

She reached out, expecting me to hand it to her, but I kept walking and sat on my end of the couch with it balled up in my lap. Then I sniffed it again, just to make her extra self-conscious.

She stared at me for several seconds before launching herself across the couch in a surprise attack. At least, she thought it would come as a surprise.

I was totally prepared for it and held on with all my might.

She growled and sat back, keeping hold of the small corner she’d extracted from me.

“I never said I wouldn’t share.” I let go and draped the comforter over both of us, tucking it into her sides before sitting back and letting her watch the movie in peace.

Well, for a few minutes anyway. Our hands on top of the blanket were too far apart for my taste. I moved mine closer to hers and left it there, close enough that she stared at my hand for several seconds before her eyes returned to the screen.

If I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I would have called any other witness a liar. Slowly, slowly, slowly, her hand slid over and breached the final distance, until her pinkie finger reached out and caressed mine ever so softly.

Then her legs in her pink pajamas shifted over a bit until they were crossed with mine at the ankles, and the next thing I knew her face was turned towards me and she wasn’t watching the movie anymore.

“Lauren,” I whispered. “Are we friends?”

“Yes,” she whispered back. Her heartbeat fluttered like a little bird’s. I could see it pulsing on her neck.

“Are we more than friends?”

“I don’t know.” She paused the TV and dropped the remote on the blanket where it slid to the floor.

I laced my fingers with hers and stared into her earnest face. Should I kiss her? There was no going back to normal once I did. I knew it, but the full truth of it didn’t hit me until her lips touched mine. I’m not sure who made the first move, maybe we both did.

All I knew, was that kissing Lauren was like liquid fire shooting through my veins.

I ran my hand through her hair and softly down her neck, angling my head so she wouldn’t have to work so hard to reach me. Any moment, she was going to pull away, tell me this was a mistake, that kissing me was wrong. I forced myself to edge back several times, giving her that chance, but all she did was move closer, making a little noise of distress until I closed the distance again and met her demands. Her bottom lip was mine. Her top one too. I kissed the soft spot on her neck just below her jaw, and she angled her head up for me to reach. I was a goner.

It was the stupid chime of a text message on her phone that finally broke the spell. She backed away from me, her eyes wide and filled with wonder. Her lips were slightly swollen, and her skin had the most beautiful blush running from her forehead down to her neckline.

She shuddered. “Maybe we shouldn’t have done that.”

Just as I predicted. There were a lot of things I could’ve said to tease her about the hypocrisy of her words just then, but I had no desire to make her regret this any more than she already did.

She grabbed her phone from the arm of the couch and checked it. “Just my dad sending pictures of him standing with other construction nerds with lanyards around their necks.”

“He does love the conventions.” I didn’t want to talk about her dad. Right now was about the two of us, Lauren and me.

A silence settled between us, and Lauren couldn’t take it. Throwing off the blanket, she got up and walked the length of the room and back again. Her hair was adorably mussed. I guess I owned some of the blame for that.

A minute later, the lock clicked, saving Lauren from further overthinking. Jenny came in the door, dropping a shopping bag off to the side. She looked from me to Lauren, and her eyes widened slightly before she recovered. “How did the date go?”

“It was a disaster,” Lauren said with a little laugh. She looked back at me as though with new eyes. “I’ll walk you out, Clay.”

I got up quickly, made sure I had my phone and keys, and stepped out onto the porch. Lauren closed the door behind us, her eyes on the ground. “I don’t know what to say.” Her regret and embarrassment was palpable, and I realized my fear of scaring her off by saying the wrong thing had led me to say nothing at all after kissing her. Thoroughly kissing her. But I couldn’t let my focus go there. Right now was just as important.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” I asked, reaching out to run my hand down her arm to her wrist before picking up her hand.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea. I’ll be here at seven.”

“A.M.?”

“Yeah.” I kissed her cheek and walked off, only glancing back once to make sure she went back inside her apartment.