I Hated You First by Rachel John

Lauren

 

 

 

We weren’t a big family, but boy, were we loud and intense sometimes, with all the subtlety of a social justice warrior in a Reddit forum. I wasn’t sure what their plan was in coming here, but I doubted it was to destroy Clay’s carpet. Orange soda did not forgive. The color wasn’t coming out of Raelyn’s arms and face, let alone anything fabric. She looked like an angry carrot. An angry, screaming carrot. Like one of those mandrakes they uproot in Harry Potter that made students faint from the noise.

Her crying made Jax cry, and Connor took him from Clay while Melissa and Raelyn headed off to make a new mess in Clay’s guest bathroom. The rest of us continued either mopping up the carpet or criticizing the technique everyone else was using. For the record, I was swabbing, and Parker was criticizing. Shocker.

Clay’s hand snaked around my waist and expertly extracted me from the situation. It was highly attractive how sneaky he could be. I don’t think anyone noticed him do it, except for Parker, who wisely chose not to look.

Clay led me behind the couch and pulled me down to sit next to him before cupping my face with his hands. “Your family is insane.”

I laughed. “Was that news to you?”

“No.” He leaned in to kiss me. I’m sure he meant to just give me a peck, but I didn’t allow him to stop there, and he didn’t exactly mind the redirection.

“Where are Clay and Lauren?” John suddenly asked, loud and paranoid. It was the voice of a parent noticing a missing Sharpie and a toddler not in the room.

Kissing isn’t exactly a silent activity, and I extracted my arms and lips from Clay just in time to look up and see several faces staring down at us from over the couch. Busted.

Ignoring my flushed face, I point up at all of them. “It’s his carpet you ruined. Would you rather have him yelling at you to scrub harder? And why is everyone at his house anyway?”

Clay got to his feet and then helped me up. “They’re here for a company meeting.” He looked at my dad, and some sort of understanding passed between them.

I shook my head. “No, they’re here for a family meeting. Isn’t that why we waited for Connor and Melissa?”

“It’s both,” my dad confirmed.

This made Clay deflate a little, and I think I understood why. Those two things would always be intertwined, and he only fit into one of those categories. With some alarm, I realized the questions my dad would probably throw at us in a minute. Were we getting married? What would happen if we broke up? Could we all stay friends if that happened, or would Clay drift out of our lives, and it would be all my fault?

It wasn’t fair. Those were questions for the two of us to figure out together, with time, and trust, and without my family poking at us like lab rats. I wanted to date Clay, not file daily reports on him. I could see today’s update now.

 

Relationship status update #1. Clay told me he loved me today. I replied in the affirmative. Annoying family interrupts the happy occasion with messes and impertinent questions.

 

I’d already told them I was choosing Clay. And that meant choosing the best chance at our happiness. I needed to be serious about quitting. I couldn’t go back. I wouldn’t.

When Melissa and Raelyn came in wearing Clay’s old basketball T-shirts and everyone sat back down, Dad immediately started in. “Clay and Lauren, I don’t accept your resignations. I still want you both as owners. But I do have some concerns.”

“Don’t say them.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to hear them. And if I don’t work for you, they’re none of your business.”

“But—”

“Nope.”

My dad’s face began to turn red. Especially when Clay started in.

“I’m not coming back either.”

I clutched his arm. “You should. Anyone can do my job, but they need you.”

“Untrue. Your job is important, too.”

There was a long silence. Nobody was winning in this situation. Maybe by quitting we had made things worse, but I couldn’t see a way around it. Even Connor and Melissa looked concerned.

Parker cleared his throat. “You might not need us, but I need you. Both of you.” He leaned forward, looking like he was about to puke. “Just come back.”

Parker wasn’t one to show he needed anybody. Ever. How could I say no to that? Tears stung in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Parker would never forgive me if I let everyone see what his words meant to me.

Clay looked at me before turning back to my dad. “I want a year.”

That was met with lots of blank faces, including mine.

“I want a year where the three of us are apprentice owners. No paperwork signed. No discussions of relationships. We start making company decisions together and see if we can work as a team. And after a year, we’ll have this conversation again.”

“But what if I die before then?” Dad looked legitimately concerned about it, and if I didn’t know him so well, I’d fear he had some secret fatal illness. But he didn’t need that to worry. He worried about everything. It was almost like he’d been abducted years ago by financial planner aliens and had permanent fear implanted in his head.

Clay gestured to my mom. “Then you leave the company to Charlotte, and let her sort it out. But don’t die.”

Dad nodded, looking repentant and proud, all at the same time. “You’re a good one, Clay.”

“Took you long enough to realize it, Dad.” I leaned into Clay.

We Harwoods could only take so much mushy, so it was no surprise when Connor stood, bouncing Jax in his arms. “Sounds like we have a plan. Sorry about the carpet.” Connor murmured something to Melissa, and they began gathering up all their assorted mess.

“We’ll get these shirts back to you, Clay.” Melissa tiptoed over and kissed my forehead. “I want all the dirty details, girl. Call me later.”

Oh, I would. She’d hear about Noble, too, and his obnoxious flowers.

Once they left, the conversation immediately went back to shop talk, and when Clay and I planned to get back into work today. I’d been unemployed for an hour, and my dad made it sound like I was wasting my life away.

After a few minutes, I somewhat lovingly shooed Dad, Mom, and Parker towards the door. “Dad, you told Noble I was available for a lunch date today, so don’t give me this crap about missing work. We’ll be back when we’re back.”

I shut the door on them and turned around to face Clay.

His eyebrow raised. “Noble asked you out?”

“Yeah. I turned him down. He didn’t take it well.”

“And I missed it?”

“A year, huh?” I said, changing the subject. Ain’t nobody had time for Noble Tuttle—not for a lunch date, and not in this conversation, when we had more important things to discuss.

Clay shrugged, looking sort of self-conscious. “I didn’t exactly run that plan by you, did I?”

“I’m not mad, I’m just curious why a year.Where do you see us in a year?”

“Hopefully ready for ownership.”

“Well, yeah. But where do you see the two of us in a year?” I inched closer to Clay, which added to his nervousness about where I was going with this.

“The two of us?” Clay’s voice cracked a little, making me want to dig harder.

“Yeah, the two of us.”

“I see us happy. Don’t you?”

I smiled. “I do.”

“Good.” Clay kissed me, thinking the conversation was over.

I waited until he moved to the kitchen to look for something for us to eat. This was our lunch date, after all.

“Clay, do you see us married in a year?”

“What?” He whirled around and studied me carefully, likely waiting for the punchline. The fact that it was hope he was trying to conceal from me, and not panic, did something to my insides. He wanted to marry me. He did. His eyes said someday, like he’d been picturing it all along, and was only waiting until I could see it, too.

He approached me and poked me lightly in the side. “Don’t make jokes about the M word, Laur.”

“I’m not.” And I wasn’t. I bit my lip. I’d have to be careful with my wording. He’d offered me his heart only recently, and I intended to take good care of it for a long time. But that also meant being honest about the state of mine. “I’m not saying I’m ready. I’m just saying, it’s not… off the table.”

It was Clay’s turn to look mischievous. He’d sensed my nervousness, and he stared into my eyes, daring me to admit it. He could stare all day for all I cared. I’d admit nothing.

“Maybe we need an in-between term.” Clay got down on one knee, and he wouldn’t get up no matter how much I tugged on him. “What? Am I making you nervous?”

“Nope. I’m fine.”

Laughing, he asked, “What would a British person say when they’re not ready to be engaged but not opposed to the idea?”

“They’d say get off this kitchen floor right now before I start planning revenge. That Nutcracker doll, he’s going in your sheets. One day, you’ll wake up and find him next to you. Staring. Forever.”

Clay tugged me down into his arms and kissed me. “Lauren,” he whispered. “Once again, just a bit of advice.” He was laughing so hard he could barely finish. “If you’re planning a surprise attack on someone, it’s best to actually keep it a surprise.”

I slapped his shoulder, which did no good. He just kept on laughing.

“Hey, I jumped you from the bushes, dude. Today. Bet you didn’t see that coming.”

“Playing the long game, are we?”

I kissed the underside of his neck where a bit of scruff was starting to appear. “Always, Olsen. Always.”