I Hated You First by Rachel John

Jenny

 

 

 

“You two are the least sneaky PDAers I have ever seen. Just make out already and be quiet about it.” I smiled to myself and went back to watching the traffic in front of me, studiously avoiding my rearview mirror.

I should have known something was up when Clay decided the front passenger seat was the perfect spot for the breakables. Oh, and you drive, Jen. We’ll hold onto the house plants back here. More like hide behind them. Clay and Lauren had been exchanging longing looks, kissing each other’s fingers, and whispering secret nothings to each other the whole drive. Disgusting. Adorably disgusting. They’d be unbearable as newlyweds.

“Sorry, Jen.” Lauren leaned forward and squeezed my shoulder. “Have you picked a new roommate?”

“Not yet.” We’d met with four girls today between moving tasks, and I couldn’t decide who should replace Lauren as my roommate. If it was up to me, I’d stick Lauren in a 3D printer and make a clone. Part of it was how much I loved her, but part of it was how much I hated change. I didn’t want to work out the sticky details of how to live with someone else. Did we share food? Would we wait up for each other like Lauren and I did? Who got the remote? Could we fart in front of each other? Could I use the word fart? I’d once had a summer camp bunkmate who made everyone say ‘toot’ the entire three weeks we were together.

“Jen, you look like you’re trying to split the atom with your mind up there.”

“Just preparing to merge, Clay. I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Lauren added. “Air your grievances. You have my permission.”

I definitely didn’t want to do that. Everything that was making Lauren over-the-top happy was making me sad. And none of that was her fault or required her to change anything. She was a week away from her wedding and giddy about moving her stuff into Clay’s house. Well, their house now. This Friday was the last night Lauren and I would share an apartment. Instead of a bachelorette party, we’d planned an epic sleepover. Melissa and Raelyn, Charlotte, and a few of Lauren’s closest friends would camp out on the floor with us. I would be super fun and happy the whole time, even if it killed me.

But maybe I could tease her about the Valentine’s thing.

“I want to know why you two picked Valentine’s Day to get married. I’m going to be alone, on the day of love, at a wedding. And no, I’m not drumming up a plus one at the last minute so don't ask.”

“Parker is—”

“Nope.” Ew. “He’s like a brother to me. And not in the way you looked at Clay.” I laughed at Lauren’s grouchy face. There had been no hiding it. That first day I saw them together, when Clay came to give her a ride to work, it was like the puzzle that was Lauren’s dating life found its missing piece. He was it for her. She just hadn’t admitted it to herself yet. For her, every other guy was gray and fuzzy, and Clay was in vibrant color.

“I don’t even like Valentine’s,” Lauren said, leaning her head on Clay’s shoulder. “It just happened to be the only Saturday this month that we don’t have work or family stuff. Plus the deal we got on our honeymoon trip sort of made it perfect. Do you hate me?”

“Of course not. I was teasing. Weddings are fun.” The Valentines thing hadn’t even bothered me until recently. Up until two weeks ago, I’d had a boyfriend. Or, at least someone I’d dated long enough to start calling him that in my head. He broke up with me over text, no reason given, though I could think of a few. We had been lukewarm at best. Pleasant together. Consistent.

Love was this scary and beautiful thing that existed all around me. I could see it. I could read about it. But I’d never experienced it before. The closest I’d come was—“Noah!” I swerved a little when my eyes registered who was driving in the lane next to me. I would know that forest green Toyota minivan anywhere. I’d made fun of it on a weekly basis, after all. Along with its driver.

Clay and Lauren sat up straight and held onto their plants, looking concerned.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” I was so not fine. Noah had left six months ago. He’d taken a promotion in California and ditched me like the coward he was. Since he’d left, I’d been stuck in carpool awkwardness with Sadie and Dan. Noah had been the jelly in the sandwich of our group. Without him, things were a little dry and tasteless. I’d missed him, and I hated that I’d missed him.

Thanks to my driving flub, Noah had spotted me too. I glanced over and caught his hesitant smile. It should be hesitant. We’d had a MOMENT. And then… nothing. I hadn’t made the next move, and he hadn’t made the next move, and then he left.

I sped up until he was in my rearview.

“Was that… Noah. Like, Noah?” Lauren asked.

“Nope. That was nobody.”

Except now my phone was ringing, and even though I’d removed Noah as a contact, I recognized his number calling.

 

 

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Thank you so much for reading! I’m still working on Jenny and Noah’s story coming up next in Carpool Crush, but if you’d love to go back in time and see Connor and Melissa Harwood meet, you won’t want to miss Worst Neighbor Ever.

 

It’s in the boxset of 20 rom coms releasing July 20, 2021. PreorderLove, Laughter, and Happily Ever After now for 99 cents with the proceeds going to charity!

 

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