The Betrayal by Shayla Black
The question came out of nowhere, like a heavyweight’s punch to the stomach. Raine gasped, couldn’t breathe. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She got to one knee, then leapt to her feet, backing away from Liam.
“No!” She shook her head frantically, well aware that she couldn’t see him or anything else. But she’d rather risk bodily injury than answer that question. “If you want to know, ask Hammer. That’s the last time I’ve spoken of it, at least to anyone important. And it’s the last time I will.”
She sensed Liam’s closeness before he grabbed her arm. His grip wasn’t harsh, but it was unyielding.
He growled in her ear. “I didn’t give you permission to rise. Back in front of the bed, on your knees.” He jerked her in place again, guiding her so she didn’t stumble. The carpet was even still warm beneath her knees. “And I won’t be asking Hammer a damn thing. You will tell me yourself.”
The hell she would. Raine tightened her mouth mulishly. He wasn’t getting her to talk. And he wasn’t shoving more pickles in her mouth.
“Do you understand?”
“I’m too tired for this heart-to-heart.”
“Answer my question and I’ll let you sleep.”
No, once she gave him this answer, he’d just keep digging into her psyche. He’d want details. He’d want to know how she dealt with it all. He’d want the stuff she hadn’t even shared with Hammer.
“Ask me anything else.”
“No. I’ve asked what I wished to know.”
Panic welled inside her. “Don’t I get a safe word around here?”
“You always have one,” Liam assured. “It hasn’t changed. But I’m not hurting you.”
“You are!”
“Think carefully about that. Mental discomfort aside, am I physically hurting any part of your body?”
No. But she couldn’t just shit out all of her crappy past like she had verbal diarrhea. Instead, she tugged at her arm. “Your grip is tight.”
It wasn’t, but she had nothing else.
He paused for a long minute, then loosened his fingers just a touch. “Am I hurting you now?”
Raine listened to his voice drop even lower. He’d chosen his words very carefully. His tone itself was a warning. He was about at the end of putting up with her, and he’d probably only let her get this far because he felt sorry for her. Poor dumb, broken-hearted girl, too fucked up to be honest… That’s what he had to be thinking. It made her sick. But she didn’t know how to change.
“No, Sir,” she muttered.
“Good. Let’s be clear. I’m not letting you put up more walls between us. Do you understand me?”
God, he was so patient. Could he just get mad and scream at her already? She could ignore that. But he never once raised his voice…and he still managed to get his point across with as much subtlety as a neon billboard.
“Yes, Sir.” She fidgeted. She was running out of ways to avoid answering. Now what?
“I expect you to answer me now. What happened to you as a child?”
She flinched at the question. A thousand images rushed her all like a fist to her psyche. She shook her head, fighting tears. She’d rather take her punishment than open up this can of worms. After all, it’s not as if this would be the first time she’d endured.
“Just spank me and get it over with.”
“While you’re bruised? While you’re hurting?” His voice was so gentle now, it was like an ice pick straight to her chest. He shoved it in deeper as he stroked her hair. “No. I have no wish to cause more pain. Nor will I give you an easy excuse to defy and resent me. There’s a lovely reward for you, if you’ll just trust me.”
More chocolate? But even for that, she wouldn’t answer his question.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out.
“Me, too,” he said with regret, then he grabbed her hair and tugged. Her head snapped back. Her mouth fell open.
He slid a big chunk of pickle on her tongue and pushed the heel of his palm under her chin, forcing her mouth closed.
Raine’s taste buds protested loudly. Her eyes watered.
“Chew,” he demanded. “You’re going to eat it.”
Crap, there was no escape. She couldn’t get out of his grip without losing a chunk of hair and she couldn’t open her mouth to spit it out.
Quickly, she chewed it into large chunks and forced herself to swallow them down. But the pieces were still too big, and she choked. Liam let go of her hair immediately and braced one hand around her waist. The other slapped her between the shoulder blades. The last of the terrible pickle slid down, but that vile taste lingered on her tongue.
“You can’t make me tell you.”
Behind her, he froze. Slowly, he withdrew his hands from her. Instantly, she felt cold, alone.
Raine felt more than heard Liam sit on the bed. “You’re right. I can make your life unpleasant enough until you want to, however.”
“A steady diet of pickles will only make me puke.”
“It might. I’ll hold your hair and aim you over the toilet.”
Was he kidding? “That’s disgusting.”
“It’s not my first choice, but if that’s what it takes…” She sensed that he shrugged. “You seem to think of me as the enemy. What have I ever done to make you believe I would hurt you?”
Nothing. In fact, if anything, he’d gone out of his way to earn her trust, rather than simply trying to take it.
“Whoever hurt you in the past… I’m not one of them, lass.”
Her shoulders drooped. Raine couldn’t see anything, but if she could, she’d be looking at nothing but floor.
Liam slid a palm up her back, under her hair, then cradled her neck. “I’m not giving up on this question, Raine. I want you to think about the fact that you’ll never be happy if you can’t share this pain and fear inside you. And you will never be able to truly bond with a Dom—or any other human being—until you do. Until then, you will always be alone.” He stroked her hair again. “You have so many wonderful gifts to share. I’d hate never to know them. It disappoints me to see you waste them.”
His soft condemnation was so fucking hard to take. The words lashed her like a whip cutting through flesh and opening her to the bone. Why didn’t he just punish her already? Paddle her bruised butt… But he’d explained that. He couldn’t force her to change, but he wouldn’t let her hide easily.
“Liam…” she began.
“Yes?”
Raine had nothing to say. She couldn’t make herself spill her past. Even thinking about it made her bleed. Shame. That she hadn’t been strong enough to stop it. That she hadn’t been smart enough to avoid it. And now she was left with the wound that just wouldn’t seem to scar over. Instead, it just kept infecting everything she touched.
“Nothing.”
He sighed, and she heard his disappointment. It hurt so damn much as he took hold of her arms and released her wrists. Her shoulders were a bit stiff, and she rolled them. Liam massaged them so tenderly. Oddly, the moment she got free of his cuffs, a part of her felt as if she was free falling inside, like some safety net had been taken from her. Without thought, she reached out for him.
He didn’t deny her touch…but he didn’t put the cuffs on her again.
“Climb up here on the bed and lay on your back. Arms wide, legs together.” He helped her onto the cushy mattress, and she sank immediately onto what felt like a fluffy towel over soft cotton blankets. “That’s it. Bring your knees up. Now relax them and let them fall open for me.”
So her pussy was exposed?
Still, she did it. He’d seen and touched it all. He wasn’t going to hurt her.
“Yes. Just like that.” He released her and stood, retreating and returning quickly. “I’ve fetched a tray of lavender, tea tree oil, and rosemary. The caretaker’s wife mixed it with pure olive oil and heated it for you. It will be a soothing medicinal balm. Don’t be alarmed as I pour it on you. Just relax. Keep yourself open for me, and not just your body, Raine. It’s your mind I speak of, too. This won’t be painful.”
With that, Liam began by massaging her methodically from head to toe, paying particular attention to her breasts, hips, and thighs—anywhere she was already bruised. He avoided her pussy, and unconsciously she rose to his traveling hands. But he didn’t touch her there. Instead, he drifted farther down, slowly lulling her into a blessed calm.
He drizzled the oil directly onto her skin now, over her breasts, then trailed it to her mound. “This will help with the healing. It’ll not alleviate the bruising, but it will soothe your skin. Does it feel warm and cool at the same time?”
She started to nod, then stopped herself. He didn’t want her to answer him that way, and it seemed a simple thing to give him the words he wanted when she’d denied him almost everything else.
“Yes, Sir.”
Raine sensed his sadness and wished like hell that she could see his face. No, that she could put her arms around him. The last thing she wanted to do after hurting Liam last night was make him even sadder now.
He stroked and caressed her breasts, massaging and kneading the tender flesh in concentric circles, drawing smoothly toward her areola, squeezing the nipple gently, again and again until she moaned.
Liam had found another of her weaknesses. Her nipples had always been sensitive, and his slow, slick touch with the oils was awakening her. As much sex as she’d had lately, everything south of her waist should be dormant, if not dead. But no. The warm oil spilled down her bare mons and over her sore folds, adding another layer of sensation.
And Raine couldn’t miss his hardening cock growing thick and heavy as he leaned against her. She was probably far too sore to actually have sex with him right now…but some part of her really wanted to be as close to him as two people could be.
Blindly, she reached up for him, felt her way from his wrist to his shoulder, then looped her arms around his neck. Her clumsy lips groped from his jaw to the corner of his mouth before she opened for his surprise onslaught. He dove into her mouth, seemingly willing to drown in her for a nearly perfect moment. She needed someone, and Liam was here with and for her. Raine clung tighter. Her rock. Her life preserver in an angry sea. Her someone to believe in?
A long moment of union later, he eased his lips from hers. “Raine, whatever’s hurting you, share it with me. Tell me what happened when you were a child. Let me comfort you.”
Raine couldn’t rip off this Band-Aid for him right now. She flinched and dropped back to the bed, tearing the blindfold away from her eyes.
She wished she hadn’t.
Such soft pity… God, it curdled her stomach.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t you dare!”
His eyes narrowed, and he moved so quickly, it stunned her, stole her breath.
Liam straddled her, his hands curling around her wrists, his big thighs pinning her hips to the bed. She kicked and shrieked until she realized that she wasn’t going to budge him and that she probably sounded like a willful child. She shut up and glared.
“Listen and listen well. You can’t tell me how to feel, any more than I can tell you. If pity was all I felt, I wouldn’t be trying this hard. You’ve got such fire in you. Are you really going to let something that happened years ago cripple your heart? Rob you of a satisfying future?”
He spoke the question in silky tones. It hurt all over. With his stare and his questions probing her, she felt so exposed. Vulnerable. She wanted to curl her knees to her chest, cross her arms protectively over her body, and keep everyone out.
Liam wasn’t about to let that happen.
She searched for a clever way to put him off or skirt the truth, but his invasive stare and her aching nipples handicapped her brain. Her body was every bit as confused as her head. She’d barely slept, didn’t know where she belonged or what to think.
Raine turned away. “I’m done. I’ll volunteer all day long that I hate mustard, love reading, and that I’m allergic to antibiotics. But don’t talk to me about my childhood again.” Damn it, why couldn’t she stop sobbing? “Please...”
“No, Raine. You don’t get to call the shots here. My training. My rules. You’ve had it tough. I understand that. I also know the last few days have been...extreme. But I promised I’d split you open like a ripe peach. At some point, you’ll know that I always keep my promises. You also need to learn to behave properly for a Dominant. All this arguing isn’t showing me your desire to please or convincing me that you want to share a part of your soul.”
“I do…” She blinked back his way. “I just…can’t we work up to the worst? I’ve barely thought about my past in years. We’ve only been speaking for a handful of days, and now you want in the deepest recesses of my soul, a place where I thought I’d only show Hammer. But the man I’ve loved all these years doesn’t think I’m good enough. Eventually you won’t, either. Can’t I just keep my goddamn secrets until you get bored?”
“No.” His answer came back like the crack of a whip. “You’ll watch your language, too. If I have to warn you again, once your ass is healed up, I’ll make sure you won’t be sitting pretty for a week at least. And you’ll never bore me. Never,” he growled emphatically. “You don’t believe me yet, but I won’t let up until you do.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he put a finger over her lips. “Not another word. I’m bloody tired of arguing. You must be sleepy. Let’s see if anything looks better after a nap.”
“I don’t want to sleep.” Ugh, didn’t she sound like a spoiled toddler? She had to shut up.
“Well, I do. Indulge me. I intend to nap cuddled up beside you.”
He unwrapped the towel from around his waist and wiped the sheen of oil from her body, then padded toward the bathroom in absolutely nothing. The view of his backside walking away from her was…wow. Firm, narrow, not the least bit flat and…yeah, wow. He dropped the towel on the counter and headed back toward her.
The view from the front nearly had her eyes popping out. Even flaccid, he was large. Muscular thighs dusted with dark hair framed heavy testicles. An intriguing trail of hair climbed up to his navel. The chest above was lean and rippling with muscle. And his broad shoulders… She licked her suddenly dry lips.
Liam shook his head and gave her a wicked grin. “I see what you’re wanting. None of that now.”
The words came out of his mouth, but his cock said otherwise, rising quickly until it looked big and ready and demanding. She eyed him hungrily, remembering all the ecstasy of his gentle claiming in the dungeon, then his softly fierce loving in his room afterward. She didn’t want Hammer any less than before…but she definitely wanted Liam more.
Raine didn’t understand how she could have feelings for two such different men. And she probably wasn’t going to figure it out in the next five minutes.
As she sighed, he slid between the covers and took her with him beneath the sheets, nestling her at his side. His erection lay against her hip, but he didn’t make any move beyond kissing her lips softly. “Close your eyes. Breathe deep. Stop worrying for now. We’ll solve everything later.”
She did as he bid, her heavy lids sliding shut. She focused on his breathing, the comfort and warmth of his arms around her, and clearing her mind. With Liam’s body protectively against hers, she could almost pretend that all was well.
Peace began to carry her away. She felt weightless, floated in a carefree bliss.
“That’s a good lass,” he murmured. “Someday, you’ll tell me your secrets, every one. And after, I promise I’ll still be here.”
* * *
She slept like a child, deeply, finally letting go of all the trauma and fears. The pain and anxiety left her face and body at last as she let sleep take her. He watched her. Wasn’t it ironic that, despite everything, he’d gone from using her to “fix” Hammer…to coveting her as his own? He gently stroked her skin and drew her closer. She looked all mother-of-pearl and satin soft. Her hair, a dark raven’s wing, curled over her shoulders and shrouded her breasts.
A delicate pink nipple peeked through, and the memory of her under him, her breasts pressed against him, made Liam ache to lay claim to her once more, without Hammer watching, hovering, and jealous. He shoved the thought aside. Despite what tomorrow might bring, right here and now she was in his bed and lying in his arms.
But if he didn’t get up now, he’d likely shove his aching cock into her. And he’d hurt her.
So he reluctantly eased from the bed, used the bathroom, and returned. He picked up a book and settled into the corner armchair where he could watch Raine. He tried to read, but spent far more time staring at her.
Until his phone chirped softly.
He jumped up, finding the device in his pants pocket. He silenced it, checking to make sure the chime hadn’t disturbed her. He need not have worried. The lass was exhausted and hadn’t moved one muscle since drifting off.
Turning his attention to the phone again, he saw a slew of messages from Hammer. Each revealed the man’s mood. First, wildly angry and accusing, spewing fury. That gave way to stern demands, then a foolish attempt to negotiate. Finally, an obviously drunken Hammer who’d forgotten how to spell had begged him to bring Raine home.
Not bloody likely.
He set the phone aside, jaw clenched, texts unanswered.
With a sweep of his gaze, he studied Raine’s battered body. Every visible mark on her ate at him. He couldn’t yet answer Hammer without losing his temper. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to.
Picking up the book again, he read a bit more, despite the phone’s soft vibrating buzz over and over on the table beside him. Liam ignored it and watched over Raine.
The sun finally set. As the dinner hour approached, he made his way to the kitchen, fixed a cup of sweet, hot tea, and brought it to her.
Setting it by the bed, he roused her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Time to wake. You all but died on me, you slept so heavy. How are you feeling?”
Raine rolled over, looking disoriented and bleary-eyed. Her limbs hung heavy, moved slow. She rubbed at her eyes, clearly fighting to keep them open. “Tired.”
“Here, then. Stretch a moment and let this tea cool, then take a wee sip. It’ll help wake you up, then we’ll see about going downstairs and finding some food.”
She watched him through the shadows as she rose up on her elbows. He heard her stomach growl.
“How long did I sleep?” Raine yawned as she glanced out the darkened windows and stretched, then eyed her pillow consideringly.
“Four hours.”
“Oh, wow…” She struggled to sit up.
Chuckling, Liam set the tea aside, wrapped his arms around her, and helped her. The blankets dropped, revealing her plump, soft breasts. The cool air beaded her nipples, and he fought the urge to lay her back and take them in his mouth.
When she reached for the blanket to cover herself, he shook his head. “Stop. I like you bare. Have a sip of your tea, then let’s head downstairs.” She leaned out for the mug, and he shook his head. “Let me.”
With only the slimmest of hesitations, she nodded.
He smiled faintly, then blew on the steaming brew before lifting it toward her lips. “If it’s too hot, I expect you to tell me.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said softly, letting her gaze fall to her lap.
Oh, sleep had made her soft and a bit mellow. She’d needed it. He liked it.
A pleased smile curled his mouth as he put the china to her lips. She sipped once, twice, then moaned.
“How is it, then?” He brushed the hair from her sleep-soft face. Everything about her drew him—innocent blue eyes, rosy cheeks, graceful shoulders…glorious breasts.
“It’s sweet. A little foreign and fruity. I don’t usually drink tea, but I like that.”
“Excellent.”
About half the cup later, he set it aside on the saucer, then helped her to her feet. She stretched again, every lovely inch of her bare. Liam nuzzled her neck, hands on her hips, fighting the urge to cover her body with his, and get reacquainted with the feel of her cunt gripping his cock and her fingernails in his shoulders. But she wasn’t ready. Hell, at the moment, she was still half asleep. And he shouldn’t give her the impression that he’d swept her infidelity under the carpet by making love to her now. Nor should he distract her from answering the question she’d put off before her nap.
“Come on then, lass. My belly thinks my throat’s been cut, and I love your cooking. The kitchen is well stocked,” he said to entice her.
That perked her up. “I’d like to cook for you.” She looked around the room, then headed toward the closet. “I didn’t have time to pack any clothes. You got a robe in there?”
Before she reached the door, he hooked an arm around her waist and hauled her back against him. “Not so fast. As I said earlier, I like you bare.”
She stiffened. “I’m supposed to cook...naked?”
“Indeed. It’s a sight I’ve looked forward to.” He sent her a lascivious lift of his brow.
“But—”
“I’ll give you an apron if you’re expecting splattering grease or boiling water.”
“But—”
“Stop.” Liam sighed at her protests. Did the woman not understand the meaning of the word submissive? “The caretakers have gone. No one will see you but me.” She hesitated for another long moment. “What now?”
“Um...my feet are cold.”
Was that all? “Easy enough.” He strode to his suitcase and pulled out a pair of socks. “Sit on the bed.”
She did, watching him with those eyes. He slipped the large men’s tube socks on her feet. They hardly fit, but they’d keep her warm.
She stood and moved toward the door. No way he could miss the socks flopping with every step.
Liam laughed. “That’s a fetching look on you, lass.”
Raine turned to him and propped her hands on her hips. “Do you want arsenic with your dinner?”
He sent her a measuring stare. So the kitten didn’t always have her hackles up and her claws out. Liam grinned. He liked this side of her. A pity he wouldn’t see it much until they’d worked through her issues. “Absolutely not.”
“Then no more making fun of me.” She stuck out her tongue.
“My lips are zipped. Now come on, you, before I find other uses for that tongue.” He swatted her backside gently.
Raine made the kitchen her own in about five minutes flat. She came alive in this room, content as she explored the large walk-in cooler for meat and produce, then took stock of the pots and pans in the cupboards. He sat on a high stool, adjusted his aching cock to lie more comfortably, and enjoyed the show as she moved and bent to her task…and added a bit of wriggle for his delight. The saucy minx.
“I know we never got the chance to grab a bag for you before we left. Did we leave behind anything you need? Glasses? Birth control tablets? Any other medicines? I should have asked sooner.” With her back to him, she stilled completely. “What is it?”
She didn’t answer, and he jumped off his stool and approached her, dread coiling in his belly as a sudden thought occurred to him. “Raine? You are on the pill, right?”
Absolute silence.
“Talk to me. Since you reeked of Hammer’s seed this morning, it’s obvious he didn’t use a condom, but tell me that you’re protected.”
Raine turned around, her eyes wide and terrified. “No. Last night, he told me to get on the pill today and I...” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh god. I was so stupid. I thought...” She shook her head. “But I was wrong, and I fuc...really messed up in so many ways.” Her shoulders dropped and her gaze followed. “It seems I always have to ask you to forgive me, and I’m sure you’re going to get tired of it. If you want me to go, I’ll find a way down the mountain and out of your hair. I really am so sorry.” She huddled as if waiting for a blow.
A pang hit his chest as fury fired his belly. Another selfish act Hammer had so fucking thoughtlessly committed. True, Raine had said yes to the bastard, but he could have done the proper thing and protected her. The consequences, especially for Raine, could be far reaching.
Liam took the stricken girl in his arms and rocked her gently, while his anger with Hammer multiplied. What the fuck was wrong with the prick that he could be so careless with the woman he supposedly loved? Hammer had gone at her wee body both drunk and gloveless, knowing she had no way to prevent conceiving? It was beyond Liam’s comprehension. And if Raine ended up pregnant, Liam knew all too well that Hammer would run a fucking mile.
Fresh resentment raged within him. He struggled to contain his wrath, but he did for Raine’s sake, concentrating on what the shell-shocked woman needed. Christ!
Cupping Raine’s face, Liam made her meet his gaze. “It’s all right. We’ll figure this out together, one step at a time. But you’ve got to stop running for the damned exit every two minutes. I’m not leaving, and I’m not letting you go without a bloody good reason. We’ll get you seen by a doctor directly and get the birth control issue taken care of, as I’ll be damned if I’ll be wanting latex between us, either. But I’ll have you safe first. If there’s anything else to consider, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” She nodded, but he sensed her quietly falling apart. “Come on now, lass. It’s not the end of the world. Dry your tears and get this into your head: I’m not going anywhere. I will be here for you. I won’t pack up at the first sign of trouble. But I’m trusting you, too, Raine. After last night, that’s going to be hard, but let’s find common ground and focus on us.”
Liam brushed away a few stray tears and kissed her soundly. Raine eased back from his embrace and stared up at him. Part gravity, part wonder, as if she might actually believe him. “Thank you, Sir. Very much. You’re…amazing.”
“And I’m famished. Now feed me, woman. Those steaks look good!”
She sniffed back the rest of her tears. “Steaks coming up.”
It didn’t take long. The salad came out of the refrigerator and onto the table, as she pulled the toasty garlic bread from the broiler and the juicy fillets from the oven. Lovely asparagus emerged next with olive oil, bacon bits, and other goodness that smelled divine. She arranged everything on the table while he opened another bottle of wine.
As he poured two glasses, she smiled at him tentatively, gratefully. She’d obviously expected him to be furious with her that Hammer hadn’t worn a condom while she wasn’t on the pill. She’d expected him to leave her. Granted, she should have told Hammer to glove up. But Macen was a grown man who knew better, by god.
A bigger question circled in his head: Did she truly run away when she thought she made a situation worse...or because she feared someone else was going to leave her and she wanted to beat them to it?
Liam watched Raine, wondering how many people in the girl’s life had abandoned her to make her so skittish.
He’d planned a peaceful dinner, but now...now might be the time to keep digging for answers. It would likely put her off balance again, but if he’d be better equipped to help her later, he could sacrifice one harmonious meal.
Sauntering over to the refrigerator, he grabbed what he needed and set it on the counter behind him. Then he helped Raine into her chair. All the delicious food on the table was making his stomach growl.
“Everything looks wonderful, lovely. I hope you’re hungry.”
She nodded as he scooted her chair in. “I am. All the smells while I cooked got my appetite going.”
“Good to hear.” He grabbed her fork and her plate, lifting them away. She’d barely started sputtering at him before he set the jar of dill pickles down in front of her.
“What the—”
“You determine your own dinner, Raine. Now, what happened to you as a child?”
Mouth agape, she blinked up at him incredulously. She stared at the jar of pickles, then at her plate in his hand.
A million reactions crossed her face then. Anger right off the top. Consideration...with fuming undertones. She appeared to be weighing how much she hated pickles against the rumbling of her belly. Then some of the starch left her body, and he could almost guarantee that she was finally factoring in that she owed him, along with his vow to stay.
“You can put the pickles away. I’ll tell you.”