Canary by Tijan
Ash
I was on the floor, sitting outside my bedroom door. It was closed. I didn’t want to go in there, and it felt weird having these men being able to walk past, looking into where I slept. Not that they were all men. There were women, too. Police. Paramedics. Another lady was there, and she was dressed differently.
Jesus. I shouldn’t be here.
I should go downstairs, to where Brooke was. To where my dad wasn’t, but then again, that’s why they were here. That’s why that lady was here. We were underage. Both of us.
Our dad was gone, no one could get ahold of him.
I knew where he was, but it wouldn’t matter. He’d been living there every day this last year anyway. At Marco’s Bar. In the back corner, right up next to the jukebox. He liked being there. He made everyone who came over to pick out music, they had to talk to him. He was the song gate-keeper.
I’d heard him laugh about it enough when he came home, stumbling into the walls, sometimes falling and sleeping wherever he lay. He reminded me of the Shameless dad, though that guy was funnier. Smarter, too.
My dad was dumb.
So was Brooke.
So was I.
If we hadn’t been, maybe we would’ve done something, but…
The stretcher came up. They rolled it past me, taking it into her room.
I saw the looks, knew what they were whispering about. They didn’t need to whisper.
Yes. We’d all been so dumb.
We hadn’t been watching enough.
Then again, no one had been.
I jerkedawake and had no idea where I was.
I freaked, to put it mildly.
I lashed out, kicking and screaming until a body covered me. Two hands caught my wrists, and a light flicked on.
For a moment, one heartbreaking moment, I thought I was somewhere else, a different age. I could hear her cooing to me.
“Calm the fuck down, woman.”
Woman. Not Girl.
Not my name. Not a different name of a different girl.
It was Raize.
I sagged in relief. I’d registered it was Raize before he even spoke. I just couldn’t get my brain to communicate with my body. I blinked up at him, then turned my head to see Cavers standing in the doorway, his hand still on the light switch. Jake was behind him. Both were staring at me.
Raize shot off of me, and I tried to ignore that he was only wearing sweatpants, and they dipped seriously low, deliciously low—and the guy was ripped. He had the whole penis-landing-strip muscles working there. Follow it down and…yeah.
“Where are we?” I asked as I checked my clothing. I was in a tank top and underwear. Note to self: keep the blankets over my legs. I looked around and realized we were in what seemed like a nice hotel room. There was a loveseat in the corner. A dresser. A desk. A nice television.
This was an actual hotel room.
I saw the blanket on the floor by the loveseat.
Raize raked a hand through his hair, his eyes tired, and went to the loveseat. He bent down, picked up the blanket, and stretched out. “Turn the lights off. Everyone go back to bed. I need at least one more hour of sleep before we hit the road.”
Cavers gestured to my arm. “I’ll check your bandage later today.”
I looked down. Right. Because I’d been shot.
He’d bandaged me before.
How long had I been sleeping?
Cavers stepped back into their room, but Jake remained in the doorway.
“You okay?” he asked me.
Warmth flowed through me, but then I remembered his phone call to Carloni.
“I’ll work her.”
I shoved that warmth right out of my ass and said flatly, “I’m fine.”
He frowned, but I rolled over, giving him my back as I pulled the blanket up.
The light turned off, and the door closed a beat later.
I thought I’d go back to sleep.
Yeah.
No.
Everything that had happened was rolling through my mind on replay. Gus’ growls. Shooting the gun. I watched myself from above as I shot the gun and turned away, then steeled myself and kept shooting.
Kept shooting.
Kept shooting…
I had killed two men.
Two. Men.
I’d been so foolish thinking I wouldn’t learn how to shoot, but I’d known that would happen once I did.
I had told Raize about my list. I’d even told him who was on the list. Not all, but enough.
God.
I’d messed up. Royally messed up.
“Do you need something?”
He sounded so tired, but my God—was he offering sex?
I growled, kicked off the blankets, and stalked to the bathroom. Or I assumed it was because there was nowhere else to go. I hit the counter, reached out to the right. Nothing. Was it a closet? A door? I turned on the sink by accident.
Raize never made a sound. He never made a goddamn sound, but I could feel him moving behind me.
He touched my hip, and a second later, the light turned on.
The shower and the toilet were in their own freaking room. With its own door.
I gritted my teeth as I moved past him. I started to shove the door closed but he caught it, his eyes stormy. “Do. You. Need. Something?” he asked again.
Did I need something?
My blood was starting to boil.
My heart rate had picked up.
I felt heat all over my body.
Did I need something?
I needed a life again.
I needed my sister back.
While I was at it, I’d like a mother back, too. A father would be nice.
A normal childhood, while we’re asking for unrealistic favors here.
Please and thank you with a goddamn cherry on top.
Did I say any of that?
I opened my mouth. I was about to, but then his eyes flashed and he shoved me into the smaller part of the bathroom. He closed and locked the door and his mouth was on me as his hands lifted me up.
I’m thinking he understood me perfectly, right about now.
My legs wound around his waist, my arms around his back as we began a frenzy of losing our clothes.
Then we were in the shower. He pressed me against the wall.
I needed more. More of him. More of this feeling. More of everything, everywhere. Just, more.
I gasped, raking my nails down his back, and he turned me, pressing my chest to the wall. He kicked my legs apart, angled me back, and sheathed himself inside.
I groaned, my eyes closed, and savored the feel of him.
He pushed in, all the way in, and held.
I think he was savoring it, too, but then he began moving and my mind turned completely off.
I wanted him to fuck me hard.
I wanted it rough.
I wanted it long.
And when he was done, I wanted him to do it all over again. I wanted to escape, and judging by the way he gripped my hips, thrusting inside of me, I was pretty sure he needed this just as bad.
Good.Fucking good.
