Angel’s Trumpet by Sem Thornwood

In the morning, I woke up to some faint noises from the bathroom. When I turned around, I found Sal’s side empty. With that, I felt my anger bubbling.

Last night was nothing like I have imagined my wedding night was going to be. I did stress about Salvatore not wanting me, but even that was not like this in my head. I imagined him being distant towards me at the wedding and then announcing we were going to have separate rooms and leaving me untouched.

He didn’t leave me untouched. He touched me and touched me so well. He made me come, and when I was too desperate for him, he just left. And he didn’t even look at me when he was getting me off.

There was hunger and lust in his gaze when we kissed in the limo and then again when I kissed him last night. What was the fucking problem then? Did he just get me off because he felt bad for not fucking me?

My head was filled with too many questions, and even though I felt horrible and a part of me believed touching me disgusted Salvatore, I was utterly calm. I actually regretted telling him that I hated him last night. What he did was unexpected, and he didn’t give me an explanation, but there might be a valid reason. Maybe he would tell me today, or the problem would just fade away with time.

Maybe I was irrational by putting sex in such an important place. Every relationship was different. He might need time, and he might not feel ready very early. I had no right to judge him. I only wished that he told me why.

He answered, “I know” when I told him I hated him. That hurt even more than the fact that he refused me. It hurt because his voice sounded so sure.

I have never hated Salvatore. Even when I was young and thought I hated him, I didn’t. I didn’t have that huge crush on him that I had when I was a child, but I still cared for him.

I lusted for him.

I liked him.

The sound of the bathroom door opening caught my attention. Salvatore got out. His brown hair was combed back, but he was still wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Good morning,” I said, expecting him to return my side. Maybe we could talk about last night since both of us were rested and more rational now.

He almost didn’t even look at me and made his way to the closet. “Good morning.”

I sat up to see him. “Are you leaving,” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice. When he stopped on the closet door, I realized sheets were down to my waist, and I was still wearing my bridal lingerie. I pulled up the sheets before he turned back, not because I was embarrassed but because I didn’t want him to think I was trying to push him again. I had my fair share of pushy last night already.

Sal turned back to me. “I have to go to work.”

“The day after your wedding?” Alessio took almost three days off after his wedding.

“I am Capo, Mia. I have to work hard to stay in power.”

“Can’t we even have breakfast together?” I hated that all of my disappointment was obvious in my voice. I wanted to talk about last night, but if he didn’t have time for that, we could at least have breakfast together. I didn’t want him to leave like this.

Sal only shook his head, his green eyes filled with curiosity. “I thought you would be happy with me gone.”

My brows came together. “When have I ever say that?”

For some reason, those words twisted his face. He seemed like he was punched in the gut. “You said it last night.”

Oh, fuck, I did. I did tell him I hated him.

I didn’t hate him.

I wanted to tell him that, and I wanted to apologize. He was in the wrong for not sharing with me why he denied me, but I was also in the wrong. I shouldn’t have said that, and I shouldn’t have been pushy. Forcing someone to have sex mentally was no better than forcing them physically.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t because Salvatore disappeared into the closet and closed the door behind him. He was probably hurt, and maybe he really was in a rush. I let myself fall back into the bed and decided to give him time. I was going to unpack and cook a nice meal. After we ate our delicious meal, I was going to talk to him about last night.

I knew we could fix this if we communicate. I was ready to follow his pace, too, because I really didn’t want a marriage full of hate.

I was going to make things right.

After Salvatore left, I caught up a few more hours of sleep. I wanted to be fully rested before I started my day. This was my first day in my new home, and I wanted to have a good start regardless of last night.

I got out of my lingerie and dressed in some comfortable pants and a blue tee. I was alone, but I already knew every corner of this mansion, so it was no problem to go to the kitchen. The house’s full-time maid Maria and my bodyguard Mateo were already there. He was probably annoying her from the look of amusement on his face.

“Good morning,” I announced my presence, hoping to save Maria.

“Good morning,” they answered in a union, and Maria smiled at me sweetly. “You are early. Want me to make scrambled eggs for you?”

I nodded and leaned into the kitchen island next to Mateo. He threw his hand to Maria. “She is not early at all. Mia usually wakes up at dawn.”

I punched his arm playfully. “Hey, I deserve to sleep more. I was tired.”

Maria snorted and quickly closed her mouth to keep the remaining noises inside. Mateo was better than her at hiding his emotions, but he, too, had a little smile on his face.

My eyes widened with horror. “I meant the wedding! I danced so much. It was tiring.” I haven’t mentioned I didn’t have sex with my husband last night for obvious reasons, but even if we did, their assumption was still inappropriate.

“So, what is the plan for today?” Mateo asked, rescuing me.

I gave him a thankful smile and then thought about the question. “Well, I need to start unpacking. We need to set my art studio as fast as possible. I don’t know which room we can use for that.”

“I know,” Maria said as she proceeded to work on my scrambled eggs. “Mr. Vasile said you should take the old greenroom.”

Greenroom was Aunt Claretta’s room that she used for her plants. After her death, Giovanni Vasile emptied the room. It was big enough for me to make it my studio. It also had a great view of the garden and the pool with a nice balcony that would make it easier to get fresh air while working.

“When did he say that?” I asked. I was not expecting Salvatore to give me the room that was so deeply connected to his mother. Even though everything that went on last night, I was touched.

“This morning. He said he forgot to tell you before he left.” After that, Maria’s pitiful gaze found mine. It almost seemed like she just remembered it was our first morning as a married couple, and I was about to have breakfast alone.

It also made me remember too. A dark, ugly feeling took over the warmth his gesture caused. He did something so sweet for me, but he didn’t even tell me himself. It was not a matter of forgetting. He was planning to leave without waking me at all.

I tried to shake off the thought. I was never the type to give up soon, and I was not going to give up on my marriage just because he built some walls. I had the power to break them.

“Would you take your breakfast to the dining room?” Maria asked.

My brows came together, but I was smiling. “Don’t pretend I am someone new. You know me since I was in diapers. I eat in the kitchen.” I sat at the kitchen table. Having breakfast in the dining room always seemed like a very sad little life to me.

Maria put my eggs in front of me. “Well, I do know you, but now you are the mistress of the house.”

It felt a little weird to hear it. I was always just the little kid of the house. I was also the youngest sibling. Being the mistress of a house felt strange but not bad. “Well,” I said as I started eating my eggs. “The mistress of the house prefers to not eat alone. I’ll eat here with you. I like noise.”

Maria only nodded. “You are very lucky then. When the twins are here, the house is always noisy.”

I giggled to myself. Even though living here with Sal was new to me, living with the twins was not. They spent so much time at the Mazzoni mansion that I was very familiar with them, and both were loud in their own way.

“When are they coming back?” They spent the last night at my parent’s since it was our wedding night with Sal, and Mama said it would be more appropriate that way. I thought it was not necessary, but Mama insisted.

Maria turned back to the kitchen doing I don’t know what. “I have no idea.”

“I’ll call my mom and ask,” I said around my fork, and Mateo smiled at me. He always looked at me like I was a little girl, but unlike the situation with Salvatore, it never made me feel bad with Mateo. He was fifteen years older than me, after all.

He was not cold like most made men. I always liked having him around and was so happy when I learned he was going to remain my bodyguard after my marriage. It would be horrible to spend all my time with someone I didn’t actually like.

After breakfast, I ordered Mateo and Gian to carry my boxes to the bedroom and the old greenroom. I also told Mateo to unpack in the greenroom, and I will decorate later. I was going to start unpacking with the bedroom. I had so many clothes that I just knew it was not a one-day job, but it was okay. I started with essential things like my everyday clothes and nightgowns.

When I actually did some work and started filling spaces on the closet Salvatore emptied for me, I decided to call my mom. I wanted to know when Verona and Valerio were coming.

“Mia?” Mom picked up after the second ring. Her voice was surprised and a little worried. I hated that tone.

“Hey, mom. How are you?”

She sighed. “Well, I am missing you.”

I rolled my eyes since she couldn’t see it through the phone. “You saw me yesterday night.”

“Yeah, but knowing that you don’t live here anymore is hard.” She paused for a second, and when she spoke again, her voice sounded less hurt. Thank God. “You know what, don’t mind me. How are you?”

“I am okay,” I said simply. I was not going to share what happened with her. I was not planning to share it even with Bella. “I was going to ask when Verona and Valerio are coming back? I want to cook something.”

A short silence passed. “I thought they could stay here for the weekend. You are newlywed, Mia. You should spend some time together.”

Okay, it was not very comfortable hearing my mother imply I should have a fuck fest weekend with Salvatore, but I tried to ignore it. “Sal is already gone, so it is not a problem. I want them here.”

Again, Mother didn’t answer right away, but this time the silence felt heavier. “Salvatore left you alone?”

I was not alone in the house, but there was no need to mention it since my mother already knew that. “He has to work, Mama.”

“The day after his wedding?”

Yeah, it was weird, and I was more annoyed than my mother at Sal, but I didn’t want her to worry about me. “He is Capo, Mama. He has to work a lot.”

“I suppose,” Mama murmured, but she didn’t sound convinced. I was not expecting her to anyway. Then she asked with a lower voice, “Are you okay, Mia?”

I wouldn’t call it that, but I was much better than yesterday night and the morning. I was good at pumping myself with positivity, but it was a little harder to get rid of my annoyance. But again, I didn’t want to give my mother a real answer since it could make her worry. “I am. I understand his situation.”

“No,” Mom said, making my brows furrow. “I mean, are you okay after… are you okay?”

My eyes widened. “Mom!” despite her knowledge, I was still a virgin, but even if we did have a real wedding night, I wouldn’t talk about it with my mom. I was getting so annoyed that everyone was so noisy about yesterday night. Maybe it was the result of us not showing bloody sheets.

Oh god, what if we had to present the sheets? What would Sal do then?

“Mia, I am just worried about you,” Mama said in a soft voice and made me feel like an asshole. She never seemed like she was afraid Sal might hurt me, unlike the rest of my family, but I guessed her concern was not too ridiculous. Most women in the Outfit had so much scarier stories than getting ignored by their husbands.

I was never afraid Sal might be rough with me or hurt me. Honestly, the pain was less scary than his disinterest in me, but I understood it was not the same for everyone. I was never scared of my first time with Sal, probably because I never feared Sal in any way. Maybe it was stupid but even though what my brothers thought, Salvatore never made me feel that way.

In the end, I decided to give my mom a reassuring answer so she would feel good. “I am okay, mom. Sal is considerate of me.” The last part was not a hundred percent true since he acted like an asshole, but I acted badly too. Also, even though what happened, he never hurt me in a way my mother was worried about, so it didn’t felt like a big lie.

I could hear Mom smiling when she spoke again. “Good, Mia. I am happy for you. I’ll send Verona and Valerio for dinner. You should have a family dinner.”

For some reason, it warmed my heart. This marriage was new for me, but it didn’t just give me a partner. It also expanded my family. The Vasiles were always like family to me, but it was going to be different to live with them. I was so sad since my brother’s moved out of the house because I felt so alone. Now I again had a big family with Sal, Verona, and Valerio.

I felt my lips pull up as I said, “Thank you,” to my mom.

Verona and Valerio came back close to seven. When mom informed me about that before, I texted Salvatore. I didn’t know when they normally ate. Maria said Sal rarely came to dinner, but I was really hoping he would come.

He didn’t answer my text, but that was okay since I knew he could be occupied. I was still hopeful about him coming, though. I even made pasta myself. I didn’t have time to make something fancier but still didn’t let Maria cook because I needed to cook. I needed somewhere to let out my steam.

In the end, he didn’t come.

If I was alone, I would maybe wait a little longer, but there was no need to be pathetic, and also, the twins were hungry. “Meal is ready. Come on,” I said when I found them watching television in the living room.

We were going to eat at the dining room since it was a family dinner, with or without Salvatore.

They both came to the dining room without any protests, but I could feel their unease. The first one to voice it was Valerio. “I thought Sal was going to eat with us.”

Me too, darling. “Well, I suppose he is busy.”

He didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. “I was hoping to see him more when you two got married.”

“Why is that?”

He shrugged and didn’t answer, but his sister did it for him. “We thought he might want to see you so much that he will make time to be home. Father used to always make time for Mom.”

Oh, that was true. Giovanni Vasile was very obsessed with his wife. She was probably the only thing he cared about. I was used to seeing my dad make time for me, my brothers, and my mom, but Giovanni Vasile only made time for his wife. He didn’t care for his children, but Aunt Claretta was like a magnet for him. Sadly, he was not that for her.

Even though their logic was understandable because of their late father, it still pained me that they compared Sal to Giovanni. It was so sad that they thought he would make time for me but not them.

“I am sure Sal misses you. And he is not like your dad. He loves you.” I searched their eyes to be sure they know that.

Verona nodded. “He does, but still, it would be better if he was home more.”

Valerio, on the other hand, remained silent. I could see the doubt in his eyes. Okay, Sal could keep his distance from me, but he sure was not going to keep it with his siblings. I could not take seeing them sad like this. It hurt more than his disinterest in me.

I was always protective of people around me, but even more so with the twins. Maybe it was because they were the only ones that were younger than me in our little family. For my whole life, everybody told me I was too motherly. That was one of the reasons people praised me. I was perfect in the eyes of the Outfit members. I was good with people and good with attention which made me a perfect trophy wife. I was also very caring, which meant I was going to be an excellent mother. They probably didn’t consider I was not obedient at all.

Still, I never felt the need to have children. I was never one of the girls who dreamed of having babies. I was just very determined to care for the people I loved. I was protective over my family, and that family included Vasile siblings, too, way before I was married.

The Outfit liked women with motherly qualities who were eager to take care of everyone, but I also had some qualities they didn’t enjoy. I was a caregiver, but I was also very eager to protect them. I’d bleed and kill for each one of them.

For some reason, they didn’t like the idea of a woman doing those things. They thought it was not very feminine, but to me, it was the most motherly thing in the world. A mother would not have boundaries when it came to her children. I didn’t have any boundaries when it came to my family.

So, after dinner, I was more determined to speak with Salvatore. He was not going to get away from me easily.

I sat with the twins for a while, and we chatted about simple things. Verona got too excited when I mentioned the art studio. I told her we could use it together. She was very into art like me. I liked talking with her about those things. Valerio remained quieter than his sister, which was rare, but when Verona decided to talk, he would usually stop and listen to her. They really did have that twin bond.

After they went to bed, I have done some more unpacking, but it was getting late, and I was tired from all the work. Still, I was not going to sleep before Sal came home.

I ended up watching YouTube videos on the bed. I was going to read a book at first, but that would only make me sleepier. Some colorful and loud videos were the way to go. I was still tired, but they managed to keep me up until one in the morning, which was when Sal came into the room.

He opened the door very slowly, but when he saw me with a light flashing to my face, earbuds in my ear, his careful silent act dropped, and stiffness found its way to him. “You are still up.”

I took off my earbuds and sat up on the bed. When covers dropped to my waist, his eyes lingered on my dark blue nightgown. I really didn’t want to intimidate him by wearing something sexy, but it was what I slept in normally for a few years now.

“I have waited for you,” I said. There was no need to lie.

He nodded and then started walking to the closet while loosening his tie. “Is there a specific reason?”

My face filled with shock, but of course, he couldn’t see it. “Are you kidding me? You thought I was going to act like everything was fine?”

He didn’t answer, and I suppressed the urge to follow him into the closet, but even though he was being an asshole, I was determined to give him space and privacy when it came to the sexual aspect of our marriage. I really didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.

He appeared in the closet door a few minutes later with pajama bottoms and nothing else. Even though all of my determination and anger, I couldn’t help but look at his strong chest and six-pack. Luckily, he saved me from my gawking with his words. “What is not fine?”

“What is fine?” I got out of bed. He was still so much taller than me, but I wanted to have a strong foot in front of him. I needed him to understand I was not a helpless little girl who was going to accept whatever treatment he saw fit.

A devilish smirk appeared on his face. “Why are you so tense, Mia? Haven’t I gotten you off good yesterday night?”

“Don’t even go there, Sal.”

“Why?” he asked and took a step closer to me. His scent filled my nose, and I had to put some effort to not lose myself in it. The darkness in his eyes turned into lust. That was how I wanted to see him, but for some reason, he seemed to hold back. “Maybe I should do it again?”

Even though it felt good, there was no way I was going to let him. “You are going to get me off, barely touching me again?”

That did something to him, and his walls came up, capturing the lust deep within him. “It seemed to work fine yesterday night.”

I shook my head. “That is not the reason I am mad, Sal. I cannot force you to sleep with me. I know that is what is expected, but our world has fucked up mindsets. What girls are forced is bad, but I don’t think what you are forced is any better.”

His brows furrowed like that was the last thing he was expected to hear. Did he think I was going to try to manipulate him to have sex with me or something? Well, maybe it was not that weird after last night, but I had no intentions of forcing him like so many girls were forced in the Outfit.

I wanted to further explain without giving him time to even ask. “We are expected to remain pure for our husbands, but it is the opposite for you. Killing and fucking are how you show you’re worthy. I mean, how young were you when you had your first time? Probably thirteen or fourteen. And it was probably with a woman so much older than you. I get that it might be traumatic.”

He regarded me for a while. Actually, he stared at me for a long time. Silence stretched between us, and his expression went from confused to surprised to… something between sarcasm and anger. “You think I don’t touch you because I have problems with sex.”

“Well, it was just a guess. I cannot know what the real reason is if you don’t talk to me.”

He laughed and shook his head, but there was no amusement in his features. “That is not going to work.”

“Why?”

“Because I say so. Just stop asking questions that can hurt you, Mia.”

Okay, he was not ready to have the sex talk, then we have the other one. “Why didn’t you come to dinner?”

This time he felt more relaxed. He was still in argument mode, but it was obvious that this topic didn’t make him as uncomfortable as the other. “The same reason I left early in the morning. I am busy.”

Bullshit. “Too busy to spend some time with your family? Valerio said the most he has seen you in these last months was at our wedding.”

He took a few steps away from me, going to bed. His voice rang with disinterest. “He is going to get initiated soon. He will understand better then.”

I fisted my hands. His words made anger bubble up in me more than anything else. “Do you want to be like your father, Salvatore?”

He turned so fast that I couldn’t even catch the movement. His eyes were crazy, and his mouth was a thin line. His fists were balled like mine were. “Careful,” he gritted, and more because of his speed than his attitude, I flinched.

That changed him so fast. It felt like watching a bucket full of ice spilling over someone. His body relaxed, and regret took over all the other emotions on his face as he took a step back. “Fuck, I am sorry.”

I shook my head. “It is okay.” My flinch was not caused by fear or a previous experience anyway.

Yet. His regret didn’t go away. “I will never hurt you, Mia,” he said, but I could see how his eyes were filled with doubt. He was afraid of hurting me.

Interesting.

Despite everything and my anger, I didn’t want him to feel bad about this. This was not about making him feel bad but making him see his faults. “It was an instinctive Salvatore, really. It is okay.”

“I hate being compared to him,” he whispered without looking at me.

I couldn’t help but reach and cup his cheek and bring his eyes to mine. “You are not him,” I assured him. “But you are being a different kind of an asshole. They have no one but you. Please don’t make them doubt your love.”

“They have you,” he whispered more to himself than me. It didn’t seem like he waited for an answer, so I didn’t give him one. He very softly pressed his cheek to my hand, and something like pain flashed in his eyes. “I will figure something out.”

“Okay,” I nodded. “Let’s sleep,” I said because he seemed pained enough. I did want to talk to him more, but I was probably not going to get answers. It was enough for me to at least solve Verona and Valerio’s problem. Mine could wait. Their happiness was more important right now. If he would keep his promise and come to dinner tomorrow night, we would have enough time to talk about our problems as well.

 

After I was sure Mia was asleep, I got out of bed. I didn’t want her to feel like I was escaping the bedroom because of her, but I couldn’t sleep next to her, feeling like an asshole. Well, she actually did call me an asshole.

I did feel bad for not spending enough time with my siblings, but it was different from being called out on it. Also, the fact that I came home late on purpose didn’t help. I was just too much of a coward to see Mia again. She stirred all those emotions in me.

She was the Angel.

I was the Devil.

It was fucking chaos.

The thing that made me feel like this was not her confrontation, though. It was the fact that she flinched from me. I stayed away so that I wouldn’t hurt her. I put all my focus on controlling my dick so I wouldn’t get too blinded by my lust and hurt her. In the end, it didn’t change anything. I let Crazy Eyes came out.

What she threw on my face was my biggest fear. I didn’t hate anyone as much as I hated my father. Turning into him would be my fucking downfall.

Still, it was not a valid reason to explode to Mia.

I thought I could never hurt her. I was sure of it on our wedding day, and then Antonio changed my mind. What happened tonight only proved him right. It only proved that I should keep it in my pants around her. I could not let my inner demons come out to play.

When I was making my way to the cigar lounge to have a smoke, I decided to check on my siblings. It was too late, but after Mia’s confrontation, I couldn’t shake the feeling.

First, I checked Verona’s room since Valerio stayed there a lot too. Especially after Mom’s death, she started having nightmares, and Valerio was there to comfort her. I once heard Maria telling him it was not okay that he slept there since they were now older. I told her not to talk shit like that again. What those words were implying was just too disgusting.

My sister was sleeping alone tonight, though. She also seemed pretty peaceful, which eased some of the darkness inside me. With that, I made my way to the door next to hers and quietly pushed it open.

Valerio, unlike his sister, was not sleeping. He was lying on his side, and his eyes were focused on his phone, probably playing some kind of game. He was obsessed with video games.

“Isn’t it a little late?” I asked with a tone that wouldn’t wake Verona. I stepped inside to go to his bed and closed the door behind me.

His eyes left the phone, and he sat up. “You are the one who came home at this hour.”

“Check-mate,” I mused as I sat on the side of his bed, but my amusement or my smile didn’t reach my eyes. I really did neglect them these last months. Work was hard, but I should have at least made it to dinner. Mia was fucking right like always.

“I thought you would come early tonight. You know since you got married and all.” He said, and it was so obvious he tried to make his voice as flat as possible. He was idolizing Antonio too much, and also, he was trying to look tough. I could still see the disappointment in his eyes, though. It tore my fucking heart.

“I should have,” I accepted and patted his knee. He didn’t like physical contact too much, so this was the most he usually let me do. “I should have come early these last months too. But don’t worry, this time I got a big lecture from Mia.”

A small smile pulled his lips. When he smiled like this, he still looked like a boy. He was at most a year away from his initiation, but he was not a man yet even though our culture said otherwise. “Good,” he said and then paused for a second. His face became more serious. I knew he was going to play his grown-up role now. “I really do love her, you know.”

For a second, my breath got caught in my throat. It was not because I was surprised or I was sad that he loved Mia, but he never told me he loved me in the last few years. I also lost my breath because I was jealous. I was so jealous of Valerio for accepting that kind of emotion so easily when I could never say those words to Mia, even if they could be true one day. It was too much. I had to draw a line, but Valerio didn’t.

It was really not a good night for my heart and soul.

I just patted his leg again and murmured, “I know.” Then cleared my throat because my words were filled with all those desperate thoughts. “You should go to sleep now. Don’t fuck up your sleep schedule.” It was my only excuse since he didn’t have school tomorrow.

To my surprise, he didn’t protest and got under the covers. I knew better than to ask for a hug. So, I only said, “Goodnight,” and stood up to get out of the room.

“Sal,” he stopped me when I was about to leave the room. I turned to him and saw the pleading look in his eyes even though the darkness. “Please don’t make her upset.”

Fuck. My twelve-year-old brother was giving me marriage advice. I was probably really fucked. But still, I answered with sincerity. “I promise.”

Then I left the room. I said fuck the cigarettes and made my way back to the bedroom. Mia surprisingly understood my distance to her in the bedroom, but I realized she was not understanding towards my distance on other matters. I was shit at making her happy, and I was going to have to give her an explanation about why I wasn’t fucking her, but I was going to make the rest right. I was going to keep my promise.

I didn’t deserve her, but I was going to give her what she deserved even though it would be the hardest thing I have to do. Maybe the hardest after resisting her.