Perceive by K E Osborn

 

 

AXEL

 

“What the fuck was that shitshow?” Jack grunts loudly as I sit back watching Noah patch Kenzi’s forehead.

“We have men out searching for Bran—”

“I don’t give a shit if you have men searching for him, he shouldn’t have gotten away in the first place,” Jack interrupts Kace.

“I agree, but he did. So now we need to go into recovery mode and try to salvage this.”

Jack stands from his desk, staring his son down. “You think you know best here, Kace? If you did, you and your lackluster team would’ve done the right thing in the first place.”

“If you were doing your job, you wouldn’t have let a mole into The Agency in the first place,” Luca mumbles under his breath.

“I can have this entire team replaced, how about that? You let a threat to national security get away from you, and you’re trying to palm it off because you’re pissy you didn’t get the job done. Don’t try my patience and behave like children because I can treat you like the kids you’re acting like!”

Kenzi steps away from Noah up to Jack’s desk grabbing all of our attention. “I know it’s not my place to step in or to say anything here, but in-fighting isn’t the answer when Brandon is out there. He said some shit that has me concerned.”

Jack’s reddening face snaps toward Kenzi, his nostrils flaring as he glares at her. “What? What could possibly be worse than this?”

Kenzi glances at me, and I give her a subtle nod to go ahead and speak. I know whatever she needs to say must be important. “Brandon told me that he isn’t the only one on the inside, that basically he isn’t the only mole.”

My muscles tense, the atmosphere in the room changing, an arctic blast turning the oxygen freezing with fear. “Are you sure that’s what he said?” I ask.

“Maybe he’s trying to get under our skin? We know he likes the flair for the dramatic,” Blair suggests.

Noah takes a step toward Jack’s desk. “In any case, Everly and I can find out who Brandon was associating with, people inside who he spent time with, friends outside The Agency, family, maybe we should even go to his apartment?”

Luca shudders. “I do not want to go there. Imagine the kinda creepy shit he’d have laying around. Random saddles, flannelette shirts strewn all over the place, the man probably has Dolly Parton on Vinyl. Vinyl people!” Luca quips.

We all furrow our brows at him. “You’ve thought about Brandon’s apartment in detail a little too much, you know that?” I question.

“The guy is a creep. Sue me for wanting to be prepared.”

“Remember my comment about being children?” Jack grunts. “Okay, Noah, set it all up with Everly. For now, it’s late… or fucking early, whichever way you wanna look at it. You guys need to get some rest before we tackle this head-on again.”

Everyone stands, as I step up to Jack’s desk. “Jack?”

“What?”

“Kenzi has had a rough night—”

“You want to extend her leave?”

“I think she deserves a chance.” I tilt my head with a grimace.

Kenzi’s eyes widen as Jack grunts out, “Fine, I’ll let her out under your supervision, Cruise. But any hint of trouble, she’s coming back in. She’s caused enough fucking chaos while being out on leave. I’m only granting this because she risked her life to help us.”

I dip my chin, then reach out for her Kenzi’s hand. “Thanks, Jack, appreciate it.”

 

 

KENZI

 

Axel cruises through the dark city streets, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on my leg.

It’s comfortable.

Easy.

And after the night from hell, it’s exactly what I need.

“Where are we going?” I question, nuzzling my head against the headrest and feeling my body sink into the vehicle’s comfortable leather seats.

Whose vehicle? I have no idea.

It pulled up on the street, the driver got out, and we got in.

No questions asked.

No words exchanged.

It was an odd thing, but I’m becoming reasonably acquainted with Axel, The Agency, and their specific brand of strange.

“I’m taking you to meet someone,” Axel replies, his eyes still focused on the road ahead and the sun that’s begun to peek up over the horizon.

My nose scrunches. “It’s been a long night, and whatever Noah gave me to kill the pain in my head, it feels pretty damn strong. I’m not sure if right now is the time for me to be meeting people.” I really just want to go back to Axel’s place, bury myself in his cloud-like bed, and not leave until I’m either starving or desperately needing to pee.

“We’ll go home soon,” he promises, squeezing my thigh reassuringly before brushing his thumb back and forth, a soothing motion that effectively makes me melt like a snowman being tossed into the sun. “This person is pretty quiet. You won’t even have to speak if you don’t want to.”

His oddriddle-me-thisbullshit has me itching to ask more.

I hate surprises.

I don’t like not knowing.

“Nothing is going to jump out at you.” He chuckles as if reading my mind.

I frown over at him, narrowing my eyes to tiny slits despite knowing he can’t see my forced glare with his focus completely on the traffic head. “I don’t like it when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Know me.”

His laughter grows louder this time. “Whether you know it or not, who you are hasn’t changed. You still like weird foods, you still hate it when things aren’t planned, and I bet money that when you see a penny on the ground, you’ll still pick it up and throw it over your shoulder and make a wish.”

I do.

“It’s lucky you’re cute,” I huff out while rolling my eyes.

He scoffs loudly and nods just as we pull up to a large set of gates. “Yeah, lucky.” He rolls his window down just as a guard approaches, the stern-looking man taking one look at Axel and pausing.

“Head on in,” the guard orders firmly, nodding toward the gates as he steps back into his tiny command center. A few seconds later, the gate creaks open, and Axel offers the man a lazy salute as we pull by.

“Does that ever get old?” I tease, though it comes out as a whisper when my eyes are drawn to the beautiful-looking grounds that appear around us. Rolling grass hills and a large white building sit high upon a hill, massive round pillars decorating the front. But that isn’t what takes my breath away. “Wow,” I sigh, the sight sucking the air from my lungs. The bright white gravestones stand pristine and proud, lined perfectly like practiced soldiers, and sparkling in the sun of a new day.

I can’t help but lean in closer, my breath fogging the window as I fight to see more.

The winding sealed roadway twists and turns smoothly as Axel drives us slowly through the cemetery. It’s captivating and beautiful, but at the same time, I almost feel guilty in finding beauty in something that’s essentially so heartbreaking.

These are military graves.

That much I do know.

An ode to those who fought for our country, a special place for them to be honored.

The car eases to a stop in a small parking area, Axel putting it into park and turning off the motor before he turns to look at me.

“My dad is here, isn’t he?” I announce before he can open his mouth. I just know it. I can feel it. Like the moment we drove in here, my heart began to ache like it could feel him close.

“Your mom too,” he adds with a nod. “Your dad always knew he’d be laid to rest here, and your mom didn’t want to be far from his side.”

This tingle begins to build as Axel throws his door open and climbs out, making his way around to my side of the vehicle. This electric feeling radiates out from my stomach, moving down my arms and legs until it reaches my fingertips.

It makes me feel numb.

Cold.

Axel tugs on the door handle, and it opens an inch before I grab it from the inside and pull it back closed with a hard click.

“Kenzi…” he growls from outside, his voice muffled through the glass. “Get out.”

I can’t look at him, my eyes glued to the endless graves filling the grass, and the bright pink blossom trees at the end that shade just a few.

“Kenzi.”

 

“Mackenzi, come on!”

Biting my lip, I quickly snatched the largest bundle of blossoms from the ground before spinning on my heel and racing back across the compound. “Wait! I’m coming!” I called, petals dropping with each step I took. I slowed, trying to keep the flowers from falling to the ground.

I wanted to see her smile when I gave them to her.

They were her favorites.

“Come on, baby girl,” her sweet voice tinkled. “We’re riding out in a minute.”

“Here, Momma,” I beamed, skidding to a stop in front of her and looking up. “These are for you.”

 

My body jerks, and I suck in a deep breath, gasping for air.

This time, the door almost flies off its hinges as Axel yanks it open, reaching for my face. “Woah, you all right?” he demands, his hands on my cheeks, cradling my face and desperately searching for answers.

I wrap my fingers around his wrists, pulling them away with a gentle smile. “The blossom trees… they’re under the trees, aren’t they?”

He leans back, his eyes narrowing into a heavy frown, obviously confused by how calm I am. “Yeah. It was your—”

“Mom’s favorite flower.”

Neither of us move as I hold his intense gaze, practically seeing the cogs turning, wondering who has told me, where I could have heard it, or read it.

“I remember,” I whisper, shaking my head back and forth like even I’m skeptical of my own memory.

“Holy shit.” Axel steps back, and I finally allow him to help me from the car, relying on him to keep me steady on my wobbly legs. A dull ache builds in the back of my head, but I refuse to let it take this moment from me.

“What do you remember?” he inquires eagerly, his fingers grasping mine tightly.

I know what he wants me to say.

Everything.

All of it.

Him.

I sink back, my body sagging. “Just the blossoms. I remember the blossoms. The tree at the clubhouse. How much she loved those flowers.”

He pushes his shoulders back suddenly, his head bobbing. “Right. Yeah. Of course, you would remember that.”

“Axel…”

“Come on,” he urges, tugging on my hand pulling me toward the grass. Toward my parents. I can tell he’s upset, disappointed even. I know by the way he starts to ramble, trying to seem like he’s okay with my brain fighting against the memory of him, when all it took was a blossom tree to strike a chord with my mom.

“Your mom loved that tree, and she was lucky your dad had her back on it too, wouldn’t let the club cut it down. Which you can imagine was an often debate. A bright pink blossom tree on a biker compound?”

We walk through the grass, making our way down the long rows, my eyes drawn to the names on the stones as we float by.

My hand slips easily into his, and he tugs me in a little closer. “I don’t remember seeing the tree while we were there?” I question, thankful for his strength as my stomach begins to swirl and surge the closer we get to the trees.

He squeezes my hand a little tighter, his eyes glued directly ahead, his expression tightening dramatically. “He cut it down,” he answers, shaking his head.

“Who?” I question, confused by his sudden change of tone but soon distracted as we step in underneath the trees. My feet are frozen, the moisture on the grass we’ve just tramped through has soaked right through them, though it soon becomes the last of my concerns when I spot my dad’s road name on the top of the stone.

 

SCOUT

LCDR Naval Station Mayport

Loving husband.

Proud father.

 

I shuffle forward, my hand slipping from Axel’s as I drop to my knees in front of the stone of a man who I wish I could remember. I don’t know much about him, but what I do know is that he raised me strong.

He raised me resilient.

He raised me to be a fighter.

My eyes drift to the stone beside us, a decorative cross imprinted on the top.

 

EMMALYN BORDEAUX

Beloved wife.

Loving mother.

Loved by all.

 

“You never told me what happened to her,” I murmur, following Axel with my eyes as he crosses to the tree and leans his shoulder into it. “You only ever talk about my dad.”

Axel shrugs. “You’re right, I guess sometimes I forget because we were so little when it happened. I don’t remember much about her.” His gaze moves to the sky, like he’s thinking, maybe trying to decide how to word the destruction of my family. “It was a little after your seventh birthday. I remember because we hadn’t been allowed to have a party. There was tension between Malice and a local gang, and the clubhouse was in lockdown.”

I sit back on the grass, not caring that the dew instantly soaks through my jeans and along with my shoes, it won’t be long before the cold will begin to set it.

I just sit, and I listen.

“Falcon had finally come to an agreement with the gang. They stayed on their side of town, we stayed on ours, tensions were cooled.” The sharp tone of his voice spoken through gritted teeth is a tell-tale sign that was not the case. My heart catches the unease, pounding quicker. “Old ladies and kids went home, club members relaxed, and your mom decided we should have a barbecue to celebrate the party you missed.”

“Don’t say it,” I whisper, feeling a prickle in my throat while grabbing handfuls of grass, tearing it from the dirt as I clench my eyes closed and shake my head.

“They came past with guns.”

No.

“It was so fucking loud.”

Tears drip down onto my cheeks, trailing along the edge of my jaw.

“Your mom covered you with her body. I was just about to walk out the door, but Ruin yanked me back when he heard the first shot.”

I can’t see it, but it’s like I can feel everything. The pain, the destruction, the loss of a woman who I fail to even picture in my head.

Blossoms. That is all I can see.

“She died protecting m-me,” I whisper, my voice cracking.

“She did. She loved you.”

“I wish I remembered her,” I croak, blinking past the tears rolling down my face and crawling closer to her stone. Reaching out, I gently brush my fingertips over the rough surface.

Axel chuckles, his body sliding down the tree to where he lands with a thud on the ground. “You ask anyone in the fucking club. You don’t need to remember her. You are her. Sure, your dad raised you to be strong and independent, but you kept every damn ounce of your mom’s sweetness at the same time.” I listen intently to Axel talk, my heart eager to hear anything that can lift it from this moment in time.

“How your parents became a thing, I swear I’ll never know. Maybe you could ask my dad one day. They were opposites. Completely. Scout was the military officer who got up before sunrise and made the bed to military perfection every damn morning. Emmy, she was a hippy if I ever saw one. Determined to be free.”

“Opposites attract,” I conclude with a gentle laugh. “They balance each other. He made her strong, she softened him.”

“Damn fucking right,” Axel agrees, watching my father’s grave with a cocked head and a narrowed gaze. I give him a moment, a few minutes of silence knowing that I’m not the only one who right now needs to come to peace with some things. When they first brought me in, Axel said he’d made a deal with my dad.

That he would find me.

That he would never give up.

And although he never had, I know he still feels a lot of guilt around it, knowing all the stories I’d been told about these people who love me. Who protected me and gave their lives for me. “I’m sorry I can’t remember the adventures we had or the crazy stuff we got up to when we were kids,” I tell him, dragging his eyes to mine. They quickly turn up with his smile and a quick shake of his head.

“I’m going to put it down to compromise,” he answers, pushing off the ground and stalking toward me. His body is so perfect, the way he moves, so fucking smooth.

Hello, secret agent!

“Compromise?” I question, holding out my hand and allowing him to pull me to my feet.

“Yeah, you know, I get to tell you about all the good shit I did that will make you fall desperately in love with me and conveniently leave out the bad times. Like when I kissed your best friend at a party and you knocked me unconscious.”

“You kissed my best friend?”

“Come on,” he urges, one hand on my back as he ushers me back toward the car. “That was sooo ten years ago.”

“Okay, I’ll just ask Ruin,” I tease, my smile growing as his sinks.

“Nothing ever changes.”