His Mate to Keep by Ivy Sparks
9
Merrit
Xavier leanedback on his knees. His eyes spoke volumes, but he said nothing. There was nothing to say after what we just did. He laid his palm against my cheek, and his fingers wormed into my hair. For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me again, but at that moment, new glass cases rematerialized around us, separating us from each other.
In a split second, the hatches opened in the ceiling, and the case I was in elevated to the floor above, where my original cell was. But this time, my cell and Xavier’s were now combined into a single container. The instant the case I was in came to rest on the floor, Xavier’s case rose next to mine.
The two cases stood side by side for five seconds, then vanished. They left us standing there, naked and stunned. If I didn’t still feel the combined wetness of both our juices between my legs, I might question whether any of it ever happened.
It happened all right. I saw the truth written all over Xavier’s face when he realized we were being housed in the same cell now. And at the back of our once-barren cells was what looked to be a white, soft mattress. The experimenters must’ve intended for us to keep at it, now that we had proven to be cooperative.
Xavier turned away from me. I wondered if he was ashamed or felt any guilt for what we had done. I wanted to tell him there was nothing to feel bad about—that I enjoyed every minute of it, with the only issue being that it wasn’t on our terms. But I found myself unable to form the words just yet.
It was all too overwhelming, in both the best and worst ways.
If only I had met him out there in space, before either of us were captured. Maybe he would have balked at me being a pirate, and maybe I would have balked at him being a giant horned alien, but I imagine we’d feel the same connection as we did here.
Xavier walked over to the bed and picked up a change of clothes lying there. I didn’t notice them until he started pulling them on. Another set of the same prison uniform had been laid out for me, but I hesitated to touch it. Part of me didn’t want our encounter to end. It stung that he apparently didn’t feel the same way.
He sat down on the bed fully dressed, even wearing a shirt for once. He studiously avoided looking at me. I had to remind myself that being forced to have sex with me was just as much a violation of him as it was of me.
My heart went out to him, but I wasn’t sure if I should go near him or try to comfort him. I stood well away where he wouldn’t have to notice me, until two food trays appeared. When he left the bed to collect his, I got my clothes and dressed as quickly as possible.
I felt better once I covered myself up. Now we could both pretend it didn’t happen. He ate in silence. I steeled myself for this to continue for the duration of our association. He would probably only touch me whenever the experimenters demanded it.
Other than that, he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. The kindest thing I could do for him would be to honor his wishes and not throw myself into his view.
After he finished eating, he sat down on the bed again. That gave me an opening to get my own food tray. I took it to the far corner of the cell to eat and did my best not to look at him.
Despite my best efforts, my gaze kept drifting toward him. He fascinated me. I never had orgasms like that before. I climaxed from his fingers and his mouth. I even felt like I was about to have an orgasm when I was sucking him. That never happened before. I had never been so turned on in my life.
His thickness in my hand, the delirious look in his eyes when I worked his cock with my fingers, the aching groan when we first kissed—everything about our encounter made me yearn to do it again.
If only I could sit next to him on that bed and put my arms around him, I wouldn’t throb and yearn for him like this. If only I could talk to him, I could explain that I didn’t expect him to suddenly fall in love with me. There were no expectations. We were forced into it, after all.
Not that I needed to be forced with him. If I went over there and touched him, if I kissed him or talked to him, it would be because I wanted to. I was only sitting over here because he wanted it.
I was in the middle of chewing my bland food when, to my surprise, he looked up. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No!” I blurted out. “Not at all. Of course not. It was… It was beautiful. Thank you. I’m so grateful to you for…” I broke off. I was saying too much.
He lowered his eyes. “It was? You enjoyed it?”
I almost laughed. How could he not tell I enjoyed it? For a minute, I thought he was looking at the floor. Then I realized he was looking at my uniform. Was he imagining my body underneath the shapeless fabric?
“It was great, Xavier. I just wish the experimenters weren’t involved.”
“I’m glad. I wouldn’t like to think I hurt you.”
I opened my mouth and hesitated. “Do you mind if I… I mean, I don’t want to impose myself on you, but do you mind if I sit next to you? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
His eyes flew open. “Is that why you’re sitting over there—because you don’t want to make me uncomfortable?”
“Of course! What did you think?”
“I thought…” He shook his head. “Never mind. I’d like for you to sit next to me.”
My heart fluttered as I picked up my tray and sat down beside him. I rested the tray on my knees and tried to go back to eating as calmly as possible.
Say something, Merrit!I couldn’t think of anything to say. The awkward silence kept growing longer and longer. Just when I began to despair, I turned toward him. I started to say, “What do you make of that…?”
He turned to me at the same moment and said, “Did you see how the…?”
We both stopped to let the other continue, but neither of us did. I waited. Then I began again. “When we first entered the tunnel, I thought…”
“There was something strange about…”
We both stopped. Then we both laughed. “You go ahead,” I told him.
“No, you first,” he countered. “What were you going to say?”
I blushed. A strange glint in his gray eyes kept sparkling and twinkling when he looked at me. That look was never there before. He kept glancing down at my mouth, then at my hands. Was he recalling what had happened between us? Was he pleased about it? He didn’t look disgusted or ashamed or angry or humiliated by my presence. He looked excited, maybe even a little bit thrilled.
I continued, “I was going to ask you about the openings where the arms come out. There must be some mechanism underneath that makes them work. There has to be a way to disable them.”
He nodded. “With the two of us in here together, we might stand a better chance at uncovering a vulnerability.”
I sat rooted to my seat, staring at him. He was talking about escape. He was thinking about a way to defeat the experimenters and get the hell out of here. That glint of fire in his eyes—he was coming back to life. His fighting spirit was back.
My stomach twisted in knots, but I didn’t dare to press the subject. The experimenters must be watching us right now. That was the whole point of putting us together in this cell.
I looked around. Xavier’s cell had been in the corner of the lab with two solid walls meeting, and now that our containers were combined, I could access those walls. The other two walls were the usual glass, looking out at the lab spread before us.
Before I could ask about the new arrangement, Xavier leaned back and reclined against the wall. He let out a long-suffering sigh and closed his eyes. “I’m tired. I’ve never felt this tired before.”
I pivoted around on the bed and folded my legs under me. “Did you get enough to eat? Take some of mine if you need it. There’s more here than I need.”
That wasn’t strictly true. Our session downstairs left me ravenous. I could easily have eaten twice as much, but seeing him collapsed in exhaustion startled me. He was ten times as strong as I was. Sex shouldn’t have made him this tired.
He dragged his eyes open with difficulty. “Are you sure? I don’t want to take your share.”
I shoved the tray at him. “Take it. You need it more than I do.”
“Thank you.” He took it, but bringing the food to his mouth seemed to demand all his strength. Now he was really scaring me.
I shifted closer to him. “You didn’t get hurt downstairs, did you?”
He chuckled low. “You’ll have to try a lot harder than that to hurt me.” His fingertips drifted to a strand of my hair that hung loosely over my cheek. “You’re right. It was beautiful—exquisite. You are beautiful too. It was a privilege.”
I blushed again. I had to look away before I could summon the courage to whisper, “Thank you for taking care of me. You don’t know how grateful I am.”
“Not nearly as grateful as I am.” He set my tray aside. He hadn’t touched most of the food. “I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed with me. I could take the floor if—”
“Don’t be ridiculous! Besides, what’s the problem with a little snuggling after… you know, that.”
He laughed out loud. It sounded good to hear him laugh, but underneath the playful banter, I detected that there was something wrong with him. He was weak and failing by the second. He could barely keep his eyes open.
He leaned over and stretched out on the mattress. “You’ll have to forgive me if I pass out for a while. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
I scooted out of the way to give him plenty of space on the bed. His big body took up almost all of it. If I wanted to lie down, I would have to squeeze right up next to him.
I didn’t lie down, though, and not because I was worried about making him uncomfortable. If he was sick or hurt, I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible. I would have slept on the floor if he needed me to.
He shut his eyes, and in no time at all, he crashed into a fitful slumber. I watched him sweat and thrash and grumble in his sleep. I kicked myself for not noticing if he ever did this when we were housed in separate cells. Did this happen every time he got tired, or was this something new?
I didn’t notice anything wrong with him downstairs, but I could have been wrong. I was so absorbed in myself that I didn’t pay any attention to him. How could I be so selfish when he went out of his way to protect me and make me feel safe?
I felt safe with him. I felt safe with him ever since he got the manacles to release me, and I took shelter in his arms. He was the only good thing in this terrible place. As long as I was with him, I got the feeling nothing could hurt me. I knew that wasn’t true, but it made me feel better to be near him.
Now he needed me. I might not be able to help him, but at least I could be there for him. I took the cover off the pillow he wasn’t using and used it to mop the sweat off his face and neck. I never did that for anyone before, not even Captain Wynter, who was like a father to me. I never cared about anyone enough to do it.
Each food tray came with a flask of water. He had set his aside and hardly had any of it, and mine was still full. I brought both flasks to the bed, and every now and again, I picked up his head and encouraged him to drink a little water. I couldn’t do anything else.
Hours passed with no change. I didn’t know what I would do. Part of me didn’t want to struggle to survive if he wasn’t here. What was the point? I didn’t want to live alone in this hellhole for months or years.
Even if I escaped, I had no one. No one was waiting for me out there. No one cared if I lived or died. Xavier was the only person in the universe that I cared about and who cared about me.
As time went on, he got worse instead of better. He kicked and struggled in his sleep. He grunted and yelped and even cried out. He punched and wrestled with the blankets, all the while keeping his eyes closed and his jaws clenched. What could I do to help him?
He didn’t seem to hear me when I tried to talk to him. Once on the Starglider, I heard one of the female crew members singing to her young son when he woke up crying in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sing to Xavier. I never learned how. I tried humming, but that was the best I could do.
I picked up the pillowcase, folded it to a dry spot, and wiped away his sweat again. He fell silent until I finished. In the brief interval before he started convulsing again, I touched his cheek. He might not want me to do that when he was awake and alert, but I could do it now without bothering him.
He didn’t thrash then, either. I tested my theory. Yes, I was right. He stopped struggling when I touched him. Could my presence have a calming influence on him?
I put the water and the pillowcase on the floor. I took a deep breath and stretched out next to him. I laid down against his back and wrapped my arms around his chest from behind. I pulled the blankets over us and nuzzled my nose and mouth into the back of his neck.
He smelled good. He smelled the way he did downstairs when I kissed his neck. That smell made me relax into him. For no particular reason, I pulled up my shirt and pressed my breasts into his spine.
The effect was instantaneous. He let out a broken sigh and collapsed into a deep, insensible sleep. He didn’t move once. He stopped sweating and started breathing normally.
I hugged him close to me. I willed my energy to go into him and make him well. I needed him.
