Mafia War by L. Steele

2

Michael

Twenty minutes later, we are parked outside the building that houses the mortuary. I stare at the door that leads inside. If I get out of here and walk in, if I see his face, then nothing will ever be the same again. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.

"Michael," Seb murmurs, "you don’t have to do this."

I stare straight ahead, unable to take my gaze off the goddam door. Another door that leads to another loved one who is lying there...stretched out...cold. Another of my flesh and blood I have failed. Another sorrow that I will carry around for the rest of my life. Oh, Xander, why did it have to be you? Why couldn’t I have protected you? How could I have allowed this to happen to you?

"Michael?" Seb touches my shoulder and I jerk. I shove the door open, climb out of the car. I step into the coolness of the building and a shiver runs down my spine. I walk down the corridor, turn right…knowing where I have to go.

This is not my first visit to the morgue; it’s the first time I am here to identify the body of someone I loved like he was my own child. Xander was born when I was nine years old, and I had felt more like his parent than his older brother. And Christian? Even though Christian was only a few minutes older, it was Xander who had been the cheekiest, who could get away with anything. Who is now dead… Because I hadn’t been able to protect him. It should have been me.

My footsteps echo in the empty corridor. The two men at the end of the corridor turn to watch me approach. Christian’s gaze tracks me as I walk toward him. I stop in front of him, reach out for him. He evades me, then swipes out and buries his fist in my face. I absorb the hit, and the next, as he sinks his fist, this time, into my shoulder, then on the other side. He raises his arm again and his big body sways. He crumples and I catch him. I wrap my arms around him, rock him as his shoulders shudder. His chest rises and falls, as he tightens his hold on me and weeps. I rock him, even as the band around my chest tightens. The burning sensation behind my eyes intensifies and my nose starts to run. Adrian and Seb flank us as I squeeze my arms around my brother. I stay that way until he calms down somewhat, then step back.

Christian rises his red rimmed eyes, and I hold his gaze. "We’ll find who did this," I vow, "and when we do, I will wipe out his entire bloodline."

Christian swallows, then steps back and wipes his face.

Footsteps approach us. I turn as a man pauses in front of us, "Who’s going to identify the body?"

"I will," I brush past him, heading for the doors that lead to the morgue, when a woman bursts into the corridor.

"Xander," she gasps, glancing between us. "Is it true, what I heard about him?"

She glances between us, then her gaze settles on me. She marches over to me. "Xander," she swallows, "I need to see him."

"I don’t think that’s advisable." The coroner scowls, "He’s not in good shape."

"Yes." She shudders, then shakes her head as tears squeeze out of the corners of her eyes, "I must see him with my own eyes. I don’t believe you."

"Theresa?" Sebastian murmurs. "It’s not a good idea."

Xander’s childhood friend sets her jaw. "I don’t care. I am going to see him, whether you like it or not. Xander… He…he can’t leave me like this." She turns to me, "Michael, please." Her voice cracks.

I peer into her features, take in the determination reflected in her eyes, then jerk my chin.

"Thank you," she whispers as she wipes the tears from her face.

I move forward and she follows me. The coroner marches forward and falls in step with me. He leads us down another corridor and pauses in front of double doors.

He opens it, and next to me, Theresa stumbles. I grab her arm and steady her. "Easy," I murmur.

She squares her shoulders, then nods, "I am ready."

We step in together and the doors snicks shut behind us. The scent of antiseptic, combined with a sickly-sweet scent that I can’t identify, overpowers me. My hackles rise and my pulse begins to race. Theresa’s steps falter and she tightens her grip on my arm. There is a big glass window which separates us from a smaller room in which there is a covered body on a gurney.

Theresa must spot it at the same time as I do, for she draws in a breath. I sense the nervousness vibrating off of her as I steel my shoulders. The coroner asks us to wait while he goes to the other room. He walks around and stops behind the gurney. "Are you two ready?"

His voice sounds over the speakers.

Theresa flinches, then nods. So do I.

The coroner raises the sheet on the face of the body. My heart seems to stop for a second. I take in the pale features, the wide forehead, the high cheekbones, the dark hair that curls about his shoulders. It’s my little brother. It’s Xander, all right, and yet... It isn’t.

Gone is the life that animated his every movement. Aside from sleep, which he never seemed to require much of, I’ve never known him to be still for a second. Not when he was a child; not when he was older… Nor even when he was painting, when he seemed to use his entire body as he dragged his brush across a canvas. He focused on the colors he chose to animate his art, focused on his plate as he relished his food, on women…and men…as he danced with them, flirted with them… As he fucked them… Even as he held back his emotions and how he felt from the woman who clings to my arm like it is a lifeline. Her body grows heavy and she slumps. I catch her before she can hit the floor.

I scoop her up in my arms, jerk my chin at the coroner, then walk out.

Adrian straightens as I stalk over to him and hand Theresa over. "Take care of her. Xander felt…something for her, so she is under our protection."

I turn to Seb, "We need to find those behind the explosion that killed him and my child, and wounded my wife. Pull out all stops. Ask our men to hunt down every single one of their contacts to find out who is behind it."

"Is that wise?" he asks.

Christian turns on him. "How could you even ask this question?" He snarls, "Someone killed our brother, and instead of seeking out vengeance, instead of returning that favor a million-fold, you choose this time to question why we'd do it?"

"Michael’s spent his life building up his reputation among the five families. He’s worked his entire life to attain the position of Don," Seb retorts. "If he screws it up, he’ll only regret it later."

"Are you saying that you’d rather he not do anything about what those stronzos did to him…to our family? Our brother is dead, Seb. Dead." Christian’s chest heaves, "Or is it because Xander wasn’t your brother, that he was only your half-brother, that makes you so uncaring about his death?"

Seb pales. "Take that back," he growls.

"That’s it, isn’t it?" Christian peers into his face, "You’ve always wanted to be one of us. You couldn’t stomach the fact that you were a bastard. That no matter how much you tried, you’d never be a true heir to the Don. It’s why you don’t care that our brother’s body lays there lifeless. Instead, it’s why you are more concerned with avoiding vengeance... Which, by the way, would mean that we also lose face with the rest of our clan, you—"

Seb rears forward and smashes his head into Christian’s face. Blood blooms from his nose, and with a roar, Christian charges him. He shoves Seb into the wall, gets an upper cut in. Seb’s body jerks and his head snaps back. He growls, grabs at Christian’s shoulders and I snap, "Stop."

Seb glares at Christian, who glowers back at him.

"Back the fuck up, the both of you," I order.

Seb pauses; Christian snarls. The two stare at each other, anger pouring off of both of them in waves.

"Control yourselves. I won’t remind you again."

Seb shakes his head, seems to get a hold of himself. He releases Christian, who takes a step back.

"Sorry," Seb rubs the back of his neck, as he shoots me a sideways glance and mumbles, "you know I mean well."

Christian turns to me. "So, what’s it going to be, Capo?" he says through gritted teeth. "You going to let this go, or you going to hunt down the men who did this?"

I jerk my chin in Seb’s direction, "I appreciate your counsel. I know you only have the best interests of the Cosa Nostra at heart, but you know what I have to do."

Seb jerks his chin, "I am with you whatever you decide, Boss."

I turn my attention toward Christian. "Shake hands with Seb," I order and Christian glowers at me.

"Now," I snap.

He stiffens, then turns and holds out his hand and Seb shakes it.

Christian instantly pulls back his arm, then brushes past me, "I am going in search of the motherfuckers."

"You are not going anywhere on your own."

He stalks forward and I call out, "I’ve lost a brother. I don’t plan to lose another."

Christian pauses; his shoulders heave. I stalk forward, wrap my arm around his neck and pull him to me. "I know it hurts," I swallow, "I know how much he meant to you... To all of us. We won’t let this go unpunished."

Christian tries to shake off my arm, but I don’t let go. "Cry, go punch a bag, do what you need to do to let off steam. Then, when you’re thinking straight, come find me and we’ll finish this."

Christian avoids eye contact. He pulls away and I release him. He stalks off and I turn to Adrian, "Stay with him. See that he doesn’t hurt himself... Or get himself killed."

Adrian follows him while Seb draws abreast with me. "What now, Capo?"

"Now we track down the bastards," I square my shoulders, "but first, I need to see my wife."

"You took off without seeing her, now you want to go back?" Seb shoots me a sideways glance, "What's happening with you, brother?"

"None of your bloody business," I growl at him.

He frowns at me and I blow out a breath. "I wanted to get here and make sure that Xander was..." I squeeze my eyes shut, "that he was okay. That Christian was able to deal with the grief. That he..." I swallow down the ball of emotion in my throat, "wasn't going to do something crazy."

"You mean, like kill himself?" Seb says in a low voice.

I turn on him. "Don't fucking say that aloud; don't even go there," I warn him as I try to deny my own fears. I bunch my fingers into fists, "I will do everything in my power to keep my brothers, my family...to keep all of you safe, you feel me?"

Seb jerks his chin, "You're a good Capo, and an even better brother and husband, but—"

"But?"

"You can't control everything, Mika. Not even you can cheat death. When it's time to go, it's time to—"

I grab his collar and shove him against the wall, "The fuck are you getting at, Seb?" I thrust my face into his, "You trying to tell me I couldn't have saved him? Or my unborn child? Or prevented my wife from getting hurt? Is that it?"

"I'm trying to tell you that it's not your fault, Capo."

He holds my gaze, his own calm and steady. Somehow, in the last few weeks he's grown more mature, more patient, able to keep a clear head while I am on the verge of losing my shit.

It comes from being too close to a situation. I understand it. Hell, I have seen men crack when tragedy came knocking on their doorstep. I'd always thought I was above that. I thought I was invincible, that even if something happened to me or mine, I'd be able to deal with it, to find a way through it. Yet here I am, unable to face my own wife, which is what had sent me running from her in the first place. And now, I can't wait to see her again, to make sure that she is safe. Apparently, I can't make up my mind about something as simple as, do I want to stay with her or stay away from her? And there is only one way to find out. By going back to her. By being in the same room as her. By finding out how it feels to hold her again, to breathe in her scent, to take in her gorgeous features, to look into her eyes and apologize for not having been able to protect her from what happened.

I release Seb, then step back. "I'm sorry," I roll my shoulders, "I know you mean well."

"And I know you love your family and her more than anything else in this world."

"Like that made a difference when it came to their welfare." I rub the back of my neck, "I am aware that not even I can cheat death." I bare my teeth, "Doesn’t mean I am not going to try my damnedest."

Turning, I stalk toward the exit.