Brooklyn Monroe Wants It All by Karen Booth

Chapter Twenty-Two

Brooklyn had considered gettingmad about the condoms. But Alec was sticking to the rules. Rules that they had put in place together. And now that they were naked and that damn condom was on, she was over it. All she needed right now was physical closeness with Alec. They could do this part with zero problems. This was always right. It never, ever went wrong. And that was a hell of a statement. She clung to it.

Alec kissed her softly, threading his hands through her hair, and she hitched her leg up over his naked hip, needing him closer. Skin against skin, hot breaths, and body weight—everything was perfect and hot and exactly what she wanted. The pressure was already building for Brooklyn, the sheer anticipation, and when Alec rolled her to her back and drove inside, it was… well, it was way more than she’d been ready for.

A flood of emotion rushed through her. She felt it on a visceral level, and she pulled him closer, wanting there to be nothing left between them. She wanted only his skin against hers, all space between them erased, and kisses that lingered forever. Forever. That wasn’t a word she played around with. But it had a lot of heft right now. It was what she wanted from Alec, and she might not get it, and if that was the case, she might never get over it. When she’d said that she didn’t want to throw around words like “I love you” because someone might get hurt? She knew now just how badly she’d meant it. She loved him. And someone way smarter than her had once said that only love could break your heart. She got that. Completely.

This was a lot to think about while she was on the verge of orgasm, her body clutching hard and her breaths coming out in ragged bursts. She and Alec had this down though, the pitch of their bodies in near-perfect sync, and they were both close. At the same time. A miracle in waiting. Rocking hard. Need building. Feeling fitful and desperate. Brooklyn gave way first, and then Alec went.

But he froze in a particularly odd way. It wasn’t a normal holy-crap-I’m-coming freeze. It was something else.

“Are you okay?” she asked, gasping.

“The condom broke.” He practically jumped off of her and rushed to the bathroom.

Brooklyn was still climbing out of that gauzy post-orgasm state of mind, so words didn’t mean a whole lot to her right now, but she did understand the condom broke. Her first, purely reactionary thought was Yippee! I might get pregnant. The old-fashioned way, no less. Her second thought was, But this is the world’s worst timing.

Alec rushed back into his bedroom and stopped at his dresser, pulling out a pair of pajama pants. “I am so sorry,” he blurted as he stepped into them.

Brooklyn sat up, doing her best to ignore the distinct edge of panic in his voice. Someone had to encourage calm. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault.”

“But I was the one who got all romantic tonight. I started it.” He sat on the bed and faced her.

“You were happy. I want you to want to have sex with me when you’re happy. Plus, we’ve had sex every time we’ve been alone since Halloween. It was going to happen.”

“This is horrible timing.”

“Yes. That occurred to me, too.”

He raked his hand through his hair, seeming burdened by everything in the world. But then his demeanor changed. His eyes got brighter. He sat a little straighter. “No. That’s not right. You know what? I’m tired of talking about timing. Does anyone have perfect timing? No.”

Brooklyn wasn’t sure when he’d gotten so philosophical. “I suppose.”

“All of this waiting and wondering has been stupid. We belong together. I love you. I will turn down this job. And we will get married. And everything will be fine.” His eyes lit up like the Rockefeller Plaza Christmas tree. “In fact, it’ll be great.” He pushed himself back until he was kneeling next to the bed. “Let’s do this, Brooklyn.”

Now she was no longer the calm one. These leaps he was making were a lot to digest, and they were definitely not part of the plan. “Alec. What are you doing?”

He slapped his forehead. “Oh, my God. You’re right. What am I doing? This is all wrong.” He popped up to his feet and jogged into his closet.

What the hell? Did he change his mind already?

“Found it!” he exclaimed, still out of sight.

“Found what?” Brooklyn climbed off the bed, tugged on the sheet, and wrapped it around her body, prepared to go after him.

“This.” Alec burst back into the room with a Tiffany blue box.

Brooklyn froze, her heart beating so fast she thought she might need a doctor. “What is that?”

He went down on one knee, this time at Brooklyn’s feet. He gazed up at her and took her hand. She’d never been the girl who’d taken much time to think about what this moment might be like, but she definitely hadn’t imagined it like this. Everything was so tangled between her and Alec, just like the sheet wrapped around her. He flipped open the top of the box and revealed the glittering platinum and diamond ring inside. It was beautiful. And he was everything she’d ever wanted. Her eyes welled as a slew of competing emotions bubbled up inside her. Hope. Gratitude. Love. But also, regret. And hesitation.

“I want to tell you that I love you,” he said.

“I think you just did.”

“Well, good. Because that’s the way I feel. And all of this stuff that we’ve been letting get in the way, none of it is more important than what’s between us. Will you marry me?”

“You kept the ring?” That surely wasn’t the answer he’d hoped for, but she was still piecing this all together.

“I didn’t know what else to do with it. Taking it back to the store would’ve felt like admitting defeat.”

All she could think about was that ring in his closet for an entire year, with him knowing it was there, and her not having a clue. These facts represented the divide between them, the ground they still needed to cover as a couple. Every day they were making baby steps together. But they weren’t there. Not yet.

Brooklyn couldn’t look down at him anymore. She needed them on an even footing. So she dropped to her knees, if only to look him straight in the eye. “I don’t think this is the right move for us right now. Chances are that I’m not pregnant. I mean, I’m right at the end of my fertility window.”

“Fertility window?”

“I’ve been keeping track of my basal temperature every morning. Just keeping a chart that my doctor can work from.”

“Oh.” He sounded immensely disappointed. “But what if you are? I will obviously take responsibility.”

“I know you will. I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I want to do this when you’re sure. Not because you’re backed into a corner.”

“I just told you a minute ago. I don’t care about timing. Sometimes things happen and we have to roll with them.”

“And you’re the king of timing. You’re always waiting for things to align.”

“Will you just tell me what you want, Brooklyn? Because I don’t have a freaking clue anymore.”

“I want you to come to terms with your feelings about fatherhood. That will pave our way as a couple.”

“What if I told you right now that I changed my mind. I’m in. All the way.”

“I know you. I know you don’t mean that.” She sat back on her knees and sighed. “I need you to reach that point without the pressure of a situation that might not exist. I especially don’t need you to say all of those things to me five minutes after a condom breaks. I need you to go into this with an open heart and clear mind and all of that. Does that make any sense?”

He blew out a frustrated breath. “It does.”

She reached for his hand. “You know I grew up without my dad. But did I ever tell you why he left?”

“No. You didn’t.”

“He told my mom that he felt trapped. He’d told her that he wanted kids, just so she would marry him. But then I came along and he looked at me and felt like he couldn’t breathe. My sister came along after that, and it was too much for him.” Brooklyn’s voice wobbled, just thinking about the pain both her mom and dad must have gone through. It wasn’t her fault. But it wasn’t necessarily his, either. At least he’d been honest. Not everyone was meant to be a parent, right? “I don’t want you to look at fatherhood that way. I know you take the choice very seriously. And I want you to put just as much thought into that as you put into pursuing this job opportunity.”

“So now what?”

“We go to bed because I’m exhausted.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know. I was trying to lighten the mood.”

He got up from the floor and reached down for her hand to help her to standing. “It’s okay. I think I already knew what you were going to say.”

“Okay. Tell me.”

He tenderly pulled a strand of hair away from her face. “We wait to see what happens with my contract. We wait to see whether you’re pregnant. We get through Thanksgiving, apart. You here in the city with your family and me down in Florida with mine. Then we go from there.”

“Believe me, I hate waiting. But that’s pretty much the lay of the land from where I’m sitting.”

He looked down at the Tiffany box, which was still in his hand. He snapped it shut.

“Can I see the ring again?” she asked.

He shook his head. “It’s not yours yet. But I promise it will be waiting.” He left a single kiss on her forehead, then walked into his closet and presumably tucked the ring away.

Brooklyn climbed on to the bed, then waited for him to return. It felt like a lifetime, even though it was only a few seconds. He stretched out next to her, and she settled into his arms, her heart and mind filled with the most unusual combination of shock and hope. It felt like she’d seen the spark that could start her dream tonight. There was a small chance her body was leaping into action right now. A spark. That might grow into a tiny fire. She pulled her knees up a little higher.

Yes, it was silly. But that was the thing about dreams and hopes. They didn’t always make perfect sense.