Brooklyn Monroe Wants It All by Karen Booth

Chapter Twenty-Four

This year,snow didn’t interfere with Alec’s travel plans. He was able to fly from JFK to Orlando non-stop without a problem. He even caught a nap on the plane, a real necessity after the Thanksgiving Day parade. It always took it out of him.

His sister-in-law Zina and brother Nick had most of the holiday meal prepared by the time Alec landed, rented a car, and made the short drive to their house. He had little to do other than accept the offer of a glass of wine and sit down at the table to eat. In exchange, he helped Nick with the dinner dishes while Zina and his nieces got started on a jigsaw puzzle.

“I’m really glad you could make it,” Nick said as he stuck the big turkey platter in the sink, filled with soapy hot water. “Maybe next year we can come up. It’s just a lot with all four of us. It gets expensive, too.”

“You know I’ll pay for you guys to come any time. Money’s not an issue.” Alec started loading silverware into the dishwasher.

“Thanks. I’ll let you know.” Nick smiled and Alec noticed for the first time that his brother was getting those same wrinkles around his eyes that Alec had. Nick would be turning forty next year, so it wasn’t too surprising, but it was yet another reminder that time was marching on. “What’s the latest with the job switch? Is it going to happen?”

“We’re still negotiating, so it’s not a done deal. But the Barry Millner interview went over exceptionally well. They were very pleased.”

“You did the impossible. I’m pretty sure most of America was convinced the man didn’t have tear ducts.”

Alec chuckled softly. He was proud of that moment. It showed him that he was on the right track. That he was meant to do this. “It was very surprising. I’ll tell you that much.”

“Well, I’m proud of you for trying. A lot of people get a good job and they’re satisfied, even if it isn’t their dream. You weren’t afraid to put yourself out there. It was brave. There’s a lot to be said for that.” Nick began handing plates to Alec so they could be loaded as well.

“It’s funny, but it didn’t feel brave. It felt like this weird combination of dumb luck and desperation. The Brooklyn thing happened where they asked me to get the interview with her, and I had the presence of mind to ask for the one thing I was pretty sure I’d never get.”

“A chance at network news.”

“Exactly.”

“And how are things with Brooklyn? Is your second chance going to stick?”

Alec had filled in Nick soon after the tabloid story about the kiss at the premiere. At first, it had been to make sure they had their stories straight, just on the off chance that a writer reached out to his brother for comment. But in subsequent conversations, Alec had been able to let down his guard. He’d been able to express just how worried he was that that he was going to end up losing everything—Brooklyn and his long-awaited career break. “From the standpoint of me and Brooklyn, just the two of us at this moment, it’s going great. It’s the question of what’s next that’s the sticking point.”

“Because she wants a baby and you don’t.”

“It’s not that I don’t want a child. I’ve always wanted to be a dad. It’s more about being realistic about where I am in my life right now. If I get this job, my schedule is going to get unwieldy and unpredictable. I won’t have regular hours like I have on Good Day. And the two biggest stumbling blocks I have are that I’m worried I’m not going to have the time or stamina to be a good parent.”

Nick nodded, leaning against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms. “How much of this is because of Dad?”

Alec got choked up just thinking about it. The pain of losing both parents was ever-present, but it was their dad’s death that had been especially difficult to process. Mom had been sick for years. They’d all had time to prepare for it. But their father’s swift decline after she died was something no one had seen coming.

The loss was substantial. It left a void in both Alec and Nick. Their father had been everything a kid could ever want—patient and understanding, firm but loving, and most important, a constant presence in their lives. So there were two fears at play for Alec when it came to the question of parenthood—a fear of failing at fatherhood if he became a dad, and a fear of missing out if he didn’t.

“I get it. Dad was amazing,” Nick said. “He was always there for us. I’m sure there’s part of you that doesn’t want to fall short of that.”

Alec and Nick were so alike, it was uncanny. They understood each other on a molecular level. “Yes. Exactly.”

“Well, let me say this much. Nothing is going to prepare you for parenthood. You can think you’re ready, but once you hold that little baby in your arms, you’ll start to see the things you never considered.”

“Well, I already know I can’t be absentee. That doesn’t work for me. The guilt would crush me into dust, and I wouldn’t enjoy it the way I would want to.”

“Yeah. I took two months off when Maya was born and even more when Sophia came along. I can’t imagine you’d be able to do that.”

“No way. Not in a million years. Not with a brand new job. But I’d also feel terrible for not taking off that time.” Alec sighed, feeling the weight of everything that was hanging in the balance right now. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“There’s a chance Brooklyn might be pregnant.”

His brother bugged his eyes at him. “Seriously?”

“Yes. We had a birth control mishap.”

“Mishap? What happened?” He waved his hands back and forth in front of his face. “Never mind. I don’t want to know. What are you going to do?”

“Right now, we’re waiting to find out. And I feel like I’m holding my breath. There’s this part of me that’s hoping she is. And there’s another part of me that’s thinking it’s not great timing and it’ll force us into a decision we might not be ready to make.”

“So basically, your head and your heart are at war.”

Alec drew in a deep breath through his nose. “And they agree on some things, but not everything. And that’s the problem.”

“What will you do if she’s pregnant?”

“Obviously, I’m not going to walk away from her. I could never do that. Not in a million years. But that doesn’t mean that she’ll want me. There are a lot of factors.”

“Maybe you need to eliminate some of those details from your decision. You have to decide what your priorities are. Do you love her?”

Alec avoided eye contact with his brother, looking down at the kitchen floor, smiling to himself, his cheeks flushing with heat as he thought about Brooklyn. The last few weeks had been great. They’d really reconnected. “More than I thought was possible.”

“Then that sounds like a pretty major priority.”

Alec thought that made perfect sense, but he didn’t get a chance to think about it too much. His phone rang in his pocket, making him jump. “I’m so sorry. This is probably her.”

“Yeah. Go take it.”

Alec ducked out of the room and fished out his cell, hoping it would be Brooklyn. The caller ID showed that it was his agent, Olivia. This was strange timing. “Olivia, hi. Did I swear during the parade this morning? I don’t think I did, but the coffee they gave me was stupidly hot.”

“No. I’m not calling about a FCC fine. Plus, your last contract states that the network has to cover those for you.”

“Oh, right. So what’s up?” He passed Zina in the hall as he headed away from the kitchen, and she walked toward it.

“I hate calling you on Thanksgiving, but it’s good news, so I figured it would be okay.”

Good news? Alec could use some of that. “Yeah. Go ahead. Tell me.” He wandered into the family room, where his nieces were working on a jigsaw puzzle, and sat on the sofa near them.

“We’ve reached a deal in principal with the network for your news division spot. They agreed to our terms, but they sent a fax instead of an email, so I didn’t hear about it until now. My assistant stopped by the office and saw it.”

Oh.He’d expected this moment to feel triumphant, but it wasn’t that. If anything, he felt even more stuck in a web of decisions. If the news division failed to give him what he wanted, that could be a decision made for him. “They’ve agreed to everything?”

“Yes. There are still some points we need to work out with your exit from Good Day, but the big things that you wanted are all there. Vacation, bonuses, creative control. I will email you my notes. The network wants to meet with both of us on Monday morning at nine to hammer out these final details and then the lawyers can pull together the deal memo.”

“I’m on set until ten.”

“It’s fine. They’ve got Wesley filling in for you starting at 8:30. I’ll meet you right after, at your dressing room, so we can go over anything last minute.”

“The weather guy?”

“Technically, he’s a meteorologist.”

Was Alec already being replaced? It sure sounded that way. He knew that he was supposed to feel excited about this, but he didn’t. This was everything he’d thought he’d wanted. But then he and Brooklyn walked back into each other’s lives, kissed by a ficus, trick-or-treated, a condom broke, and everything changed. Now the only thing he was certain of was that he wanted Brooklyn. “Okay. But we’re just sitting down to hear what they have to say, right? I can still walk away.”

“What are you saying, Alec? Are you having second thoughts? Because I’ve been busting my hump to get you this deal. I know I’m bothering you on Thanksgiving, but I’m interrupting my holiday, too.”

Now Alec felt like a real ass. Olivia was working incredibly hard on his behalf, but things were tenuous for him, too. “I’m only saying that everything has to be right. I think I deserve that. Let’s sit down with the powers that be on Monday morning and see how these last few details shake out.”

Olivia sighed. “Okay. But please don’t embarrass me. I don’t want to be caught with my dick in my hand at that meeting. If something is going on, you need to tell me up front.”

“Got it.” No embarrassing dicks.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Alec.”

“You, too, Olivia. And thank you. For everything.”

Alec hung up his phone and tossed it aside. “Hey girls. How’s the puzzle going?” He scooted forward on the cushion, resting his elbows on his knees to see what they were working on.

“If you want to help us, you have to follow the rules, Uncle Alec,” Maya said. She was the oldest, ten years old, and extremely bossy. Alec loved that about her, even if her younger sister Sophia did not. Maya knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it.

“Okay. Tell me the rules.”

“The main thing right now is that we can’t start on the middle yet because the edges aren’t done,” Sophia said, sounding weary. “It’s taking forever.”

Maya rolled her eyes. “It’s just the way it works. This needs to happen first. Then we can worry about everything else.”

Alec couldn’t ignore the parallel between the puzzle and his own life. If this, then that. If that other thing, then an entirely different thing. And in the middle of all of it was Brooklyn. “I need to make another phone call, but I’ll come back and help you both in a little bit, okay?”

“Hopefully we’ll have the edges done by then,” Sophia said.

Alec strolled to the other side of the house, into the guest room where he was staying. He plopped down on the bed, stretched out, and put his head on the pillow, then called Brooklyn.

“Please tell me you aren’t calling from the airport,” she said when she answered.

A smile immediately bloomed on his face. The sound of her voice never failed to make him feel some glimmer of happiness. “Nope. I made it safe and sound. We ate right after I got to the house. Otherwise, I would have called to let you know.”

“No worries. I had to take a nap on the couch after we ate. Major food coma.”

“Are you still at your mom’s?”

“I am, but I’m leaving soon. My mom loves you, by the way.” For the millions of times Alec had heard that, he’d never thought of it as a compliment. Now it was like one of the best things he’d ever heard. “And you’re all Dallas has been talking about all day. He’s in love with you, too.”

“And how do you feel about me, Brooklyn?”

“I think you already know the answer to that question. But we agreed we weren’t going to make professions until these last few issues are sorted. Like whether or not I’m pregnant.”

It didn’t make this any easier for Alec. If anything, keeping quiet was making him more conflicted. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. I mean, I’ve read so many pregnancy books that I probably know too much. I keep asking myself whether I’m tired or whether my nipples are sore. I’m overthinking everything and making myself a little crazy in the process.”

“And? Are you tired?”

“A little. But maybe that’s work.”

“I feel like you’re avoiding the question of whether you think you might be pregnant.”

Several moments of quiet played out over the line, but he knew Brooklyn was still there. He could hear her breathing. “I’m afraid, Alec. I’m afraid to get my hopes up. But I’m afraid to be pessimistic, too.”

“I’m feeling the exact same way, if that makes you feel any better.”

“I guess it’s good to know that I’m not alone.”

“I know we said we wouldn’t make promises to each other, but I have to say one thing. You will never be truly alone, Brooklyn. No matter what happens to us, or between us, I will always be here for you.” He heard the wobble in his voice, and it got a little worse with each new word, but he had to keep going. He had to get this much out. “You can always call me. You can always show up at my door. Always.”

“Alec, that’s so sweet. I know things aren’t always easy between us, but you will always be my friend. No matter what.”

“That means a lot to me.” It means everything.

“Uncle Alec, we need you!” Sophia called from the other room.

“Brook, I have to go. My nieces are calling for me.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Go enjoy your family. Dallas wants me to read him a book.”

“Tell everyone I say hello.”

“I will. Bye.”

“Bye, Brook.” I love you. Alec pressed “end” on the screen. For a moment, he just stared at his phone, wishing he could reach through it and touch her. Be next to her. Everything Nick had said earlier was swirling in his head. The biggest word that resonated for him was priorities. Despite every uncertainty, he was so fortunate for this second chance with Brooklyn. And it was feeling more and more like he’d already decided what he needed to do. He just hadn’t had the courage to admit it to himself, mostly because the thought of failing at this one particular thing was too much to bear.

“Uncle Alec,” Sophia appeared in his doorway. “Are you coming? The edges are done. Now we get to the best part.”

Alec smiled and hopped off the bed. “Yes. Come on. Let’s go do that puzzle.” It’ll be good practice for me to figure out what comes next.