Earl Lessons by Valerie Bowman

Chapter Thirty-One

Annabelle couldn’t sleep. She was slumped against the pillows in her bed at Worthington Manor staring into the darkness. She’d watched the most beautiful weddings today. All three couples had declared their undying love for one another. The gowns had been gorgeous. The flowers had been lovely. The grooms had been handsome. The meal had been splendid, and the ball divine. Weddings themselves were always beautiful. It’s what came after that was ugly.

Lord Murdock had sat at her side, his knuckles turning white as he clenched the arms of his chair when Lady Julianna declared herself to Lord Worthington. Lord Murdock obviously didn’t care for Lady Julianna herself. He was simply unhappy because he’d lost her to Worthington. He couldn’t stand to be defeated in the biggest game of the Season. And now Annabelle was his new prey. He didn’t give a whit about her, either. It was obvious in the way he never asked her about herself. All his comments were about himself, his title, his money, and his social standing. None of which impressed Annabelle one whit. And they never would.

She probably shouldn’t have gone to bed with David last night, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to regret it. The man was incredibly handsome, and she’d wanted him fiercely. Only at the end, she’d remembered why men were much safer at arm’s distance. He hadn’t tried to strike her, but for one panic-filled moment, she’d somehow been convinced he was about to. He’d been drinking and he was angry. She hadn’t been able to stop her body’s instinctive response when he’d flung up his arm so near her.

Of course he didn’t understand why she’d been so frightened. She didn’t understand it herself. How could she possibly explain it to him?

She regretted that he’d misunderstood what she’d wanted from him last night. She certainly hadn’t meant to mislead him. She’d assumed he’d be nothing but pleased with the arrangement. No promises made. No future implied. What man wouldn’t be interested in such a convenient proposal? But apparently, she’d grossly underestimated David. She had felt bad about it, of course. Only, the regret was short lived after he’d accused her of being afraid. Her regret had been instantly replaced with white-hot anger.

And now that she’d had all day to think about it, she knew why his comment had bothered her so much.

Because she was afraid.

She was a coward, and always had been. She’d never been able to muster the courage to stand up to her father the way Beau had. And now not only did she not have the courage to take a husband, she didn’t even have the courage to tell the man why. David deserved better than that. He deserved a woman he could love and who would love him back. Precisely as he’d said during their first lesson. Annabelle had no right to take such happiness away from him.

The rap at her bedchamber door made her sit up straight. Was she imagining it or had someone truly just knocked? She scrambled out of bed and wrapped her dressing gown around her before hurrying to the door and opening it a crack.

David was standing there looking so handsome she wanted to sigh. Tall, dark, fashionable. He was still wearing the fine black evening attire he’d worn to the ball tonight. He’d looked so dashing, she had barely been able to keep her eyes off him. When he didn’t know she was looking, of course. Now his hair was slightly mussed, and he had a drink in his hand.

“May I come in, my lady?” he asked, bowing to her in an overblown fashion. “I swear I come bearing apologies.”

Was he in his cups? “You don’t owe me any apology, David.”

“Yes, I do!” He announced loudly, bowing to her once again. Annabelle quickly decided it would behoove her to let him in before he caused such a commotion in the corridor that other guests began peeking out to see what was the matter. It would not do for them to be seen together like this.

She darted her head into the corridor to ensure no one was watching before she grabbed his wrist and tugged him inside.

She closed the door behind him. “Shh,” she admonished.

He bowed again, and lowered his voice. “Would you care for a drink?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Neither would I.” A grin spread across his face.

She had to smile. He’d clearly had a drink too many, but he was being entertaining, slightly silly, not angry. That was…different.

“First, I would like to apologize for frightening you last night,” he said, bowing a third time.

She nodded. “David, you don’t—”

“Second, I want to ask you a question,” he said, interrupting her and pointing his finger in the air again.

She eyed him warily. A question. That sounded ominous. She didn’t want this to end in another argument. “What question?”

“Has…my apologies, my lady, but there’s no easy way to say this. Has anyone ever struck you before?”

The blood drained from Annabelle’s face. Her heart pounded so hard it hurt. How did he know? Did David know the terror she’d lived in as a child? Was it obvious? Or had he simply guessed because of her reaction last night?

“I don’t know what you mean,” she insisted, shaking her head, and glancing down at her bare feet. She needed to get him out of her bedchamber as quickly as possible.

He narrowed his eyes on her. “I think you do. I’m asking if anyone has ever struck you. A man, I mean.”

Swallowing the huge lump in her throat, she shook her head but couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “No. No one.” But even she didn’t believe herself. Her voice had cracked. Oh, God. She was the worst kind of coward. She couldn’t even tell the truth when faced with someone who’d guessed her past.

David turned away from her and cursed under his breath. His voice was low, nearly a whisper. “You still won’t open up to me. After all this time.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she breathed. She had to get him out of here. He might not be violent or angry, but the drinking was making him far too honest. He was asking too many questions she had no intention of answering.

Reminding herself that it was better for David if she sent him away, she made her way to the door and opened it a crack. “Please leave,” she said, pointing into the corridor.

David’s jaw went rock hard. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to talk about this.” She clenched her jaw and stared at the wall, still unable to meet his gaze.

“Is it the reason why you won’t marry?” he asked. Sadness and regret sounded in his tone.

Annabelle expelled her breath and hung her head. She couldn’t take this. She couldn’t take his pity and she couldn’t answer his questions. She wouldn’t answer them. She wrenched the door open wide. “Please leave.” But this time it was more of a plea.

Hurt and rejection flickered across his drawn face as David strode past her directly into the corridor.

“Oh, dear,” a lady’s voice sounded.

Fear gripped Annabelle tightly as her gaze swung into the hall to see Lady Elspeth and her mother standing not two paces from David. He’d obviously nearly run into them.

Lady Elspeth’s mother’s eyes were wide as carriage wheels when she saw Annabelle standing in the doorway in her night rail.

“Oh, my goodness!” Lady Elspeth cried, glancing back and forth between David and Annabelle, just before she swooned into a dead faint.