Neanderthal by Avery Flynn
Chapter Forty-Eight
Griff
There was no other explanation than that the Beckett DNA had ridiculous ideas written into it. First, the bizarre Last Man Standing bet, and now the completely random cringe ideas for how to show Kinsey that he was a reformed Neanderthal.
“I’ve got it.” Nash stopped pacing across the living room and turned to face the attendees of the emergency Beckett family meeting. “Bring her to an Ice Knights game and then propose while you’re both being shown on the Jumbotron.”
Griff let his head thunk against the wall he was leaning on. And to think he’d asked everyone here to help because he’d thought his ideas to win Kinsey back were bad. At this rate, she was going to be back in Virginia before he even got a sliver of a plan put together.
“You shouldn’t be left alone unsupervised,” Morgan said.
Nash flipped her off. “Market research shows that women love dramatic results.”
“Yeah,” Morgan shot back. “From their moisturizer, not their personal life.”
“She’s right—that was a shit idea, Nash,” Dixon said.
“Well, what’s your plan?” Nash asked.
Dixon straightened up on the couch, a confident smile on his face. “She didn’t run screaming when you showed her your Lego room, right?”
Yeah, considering she’d given him the blow job of a lifetime in the Lego room, the only screaming had been from him in his head as he came.
“I’ll take your silence as a no,” Dixon said, waiting until Griff nodded in the affirmative to go on. “What you need to do is build a Lego sculpture of her and present it as a token of your love.”
Everyone in the room was silent as they all stared slack-jawed at Dixon.
Fucking A, Griff was so screwed. Why in the hell had he called together these knuckleheads? Oh yeah, because he was even worse at it than they were. Hell, maybe Kinsey really should stay away from his ass.
“And you’re the one running the billion-dollar cosmetics company?” Morgan asked, the question so rhetorical that if she were to text it, it wouldn’t have a question mark at the end.
“What?” Dixon shrugged. “It’s unique and meaningful.”
Morgan crossed her arms and stared down at Dixon on the couch, a mix of disappointment and disgust on her face. “So you’re gonna do that for Fiona’s next birthday gift?”
The tips of Dixon’s ears went red. “We don’t have that kind of relationship connection to Legos.”
“And you’re not entirely an idiot,” Griff said.
“That too,” Dixon agreed.
After that, the only sound was Nash’s footsteps on the hardwood floor as he paced from one end of the living room to the other. It sounded like a countdown to Griff, each step another tick of the clock marking the moments until it was too late.
Morgan let out an exhausted sigh and looked from Nash to Dixon to Griff. “You three do realize that Kinsey is just across the hall, right?”
Griff nodded. “Yeah.”
“And the best way to fix this is to actually talk to her. You know, communicate? With words?” Morgan sounded like a woman who had been trapped in a car with small children for twelve hours and was at her breaking point. “That’s when you tell her what needs to be said.” She held up a finger, shockingly not the middle one. “First, that you love her.” Another finger. “Second, that you fucked it all up and are sincerely sorry.” Now she raised her middle finger. “Third, that you want to spend the rest of your life with her maybe making little makeup scientist babies.”
“I’m quitting,” Griff said, the words coming out even faster than he could think them up.
Morgan’s face dropped and she flopped down, defeated, onto the couch next to Dixon. “Just like that? You’re not even going to try to fix things with Kinsey?”
“Beckett Cosmetics,” he clarified. “I never really wanted to work as a chemist. That’s Kinsey’s passion. It just seemed easier to follow that path than to fight what Dad had planned for me and have him turn his attention to Morgan.” He pushed off the wall, his shoulders feeling lighter than they had in a decade. “I quit, effective immediately. Sheva is a phenomenal number two, and she’ll be even better when she’s in charge of everything.”
She would. The woman was smart, innovative, and had a passion for her job that Griff had never had.
He started toward the door, words already partnering up to form sentences and then paragraphs and then a speech for Kinsey, explaining everything he’d done, everything he was gonna do, and everything he hoped could be in their future together.
“Where are you going?” Nash asked, a deep V of worry forming between his eyes.
He grunted and shot them all a where-do-you-think look and pointed in the general direction of Morgan’s apartment. Really, his cousins were incredibly dense sometimes.
On the way, he grabbed the folder with Archambeau’s logo on it. Even if she didn’t give him a second chance, she deserved proof to share with her boss’s boss that she hadn’t stolen anything.
No one said anything as he marched to his front door, more than ready for the rest of his life to start right now. They came back to themselves when he opened the door, and by the time he was closing it, the decibels in his living room were at true Beckett levels.
He was almost to Kinsey’s front door when it swung open and she walked out with Archambeau’s CEO and another woman. They were all smiles and excited chatter. At the same moment, his own front door blasted open and Morgan, Nash, and Dixon all came rushing out, still hollering about the fact that he was quitting the family business.
Kinsey jerked to a stop in the middle of the hall, her blue eyes wide. “You’re quitting?”
This was when all those words and sentences and paragraphs and the whole damn speech was supposed to come out of his mouth, but old habits died hard, and all he could do was grunt. The light in Kinsey’s eyes dimmed, and she sighed, her attention dropping to the floor as she turned and stepped toward the elevator.
Way to go, fucknuts. Get out the words before she’s gone.
“I love you,” he said, his voice booming in the hall.
Okay, that’s what it had sounded like in his head. To his ears, it all came out in one loud growl of “Iloveyou,” each word squished together.
“All right then,” Morgan said, putting a hand on Dixon’s and Nash’s backs and shoving them toward the elevator. “Everyone get in the elevator. Come on.” She hit the Down button once, twice, and a third time as she yanked Nash closer to her side. “No, Nash, you cannot stay and watch.” She used her free hand to swipe Dixon’s phone. “No, you are not allowed to record this.” In a motion so fast, it should have scared Griff if it hadn’t been done on his behalf, Morgan’s glare at their cousins turned into a friendly expression as she smiled at the women beside them in front of the elevator. “Hi, you must be Leigh and Billie. Kinsey told me all about you and you both sound like the kind of women I’d love to go have a glass of wine with right now.”
“That sounds marvelous,” Leigh said. “It’s been a helluva week.”
“Lots of drama,” the other woman said. “I agree.”
“Excuse me, Leigh.” Griff’s words stopped her, and she turned to face him. He shoved the envelope into her hands. “Proof my shit father conspired with Kinsey’s boss to sell your new formula. I did not open the envelope and want no part in stealing our way to bigger profits.”
Both ladies’ eyes narrowed on the envelope as Leigh reached to take it. “Thank you. I know a police officer who would be delighted to receive this information.”
Griff nodded. His father dug that bed; he could damn well sleep in it now.
“We need a bottle of rosé stat.” Morgan hooked an arm through the crook of Nash’s and Dixon’s arms in a move that gave the appearance of there’s-no-escape-trust-me. “I know the best wine bar, has this great PB&J rosé from a winery owned by one of the Ice Knights, so we’ll have to dodge some of the puck bunnies, but it will be worth it.”
Finally, the elevator dinged its arrival. Morgan started shoving people inside as soon as the doors opened, then she planted herself in the front of the bay, blocking anyone from exiting.
“Now kiss and make up,” she hollered as the doors closed.
Now that was his sister. And he’d thought he had to watch out for her? It sure looked like the tables had turned.
“You love me?” Kinsey asked, her attention still on the floor. “Since when?”
He crossed over to her in two strides but lost his nerve to reveal everything at the last second. He shoved his fists deep in his pockets and considered his next words. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell her everything, beg her forgiveness, but he had bottled up his words for decades. He was worried if he ever truly let all his emotions out—neither he nor Kinsey were prepared for that.
“Since when?” he repeated, his chest aching with hope and fear and love, so much love. “Forever. I’ve loved you forever.”
There, that summed it up nicely. Forever was a long time.
But Kinsey didn’t seem impressed, the corners of her mouth turning down farther.
He rushed on to add, “Since you showed up at the gym.”
There, that had to be enough. But she seemed even less excited by this revelation.
“Okay. Well, thank you for sharing,” she said and turned to go back into the apartment.
Griff’s pulse was hammering so fast, he thought he might vomit. Or pass out. Or both.
Jaysus, this was going badly. And it was all his fault. He knew what he wanted to say, but he’d never been good with words. He was terrified he was going to screw things up, although he had no idea what would be worse than losing Kinsey. What if he told her everything and she couldn’t respect a man who let his father twist him up so much that he dumped her? If only he could find the right words to tell her how he felt.
Wait, why was he standing here worrying about how he could talk to Kinsey? He never had a problem talking to this woman. He just had to open up and let her in.
And like a tsunami, the words came to him.
“I’ve loved you since I heard you at the gym solving everyone’s problems and putting Eggsy’s friend Wade in his place without breaking a sweat. I loved you when you tried to dance and I realized that there were people in this world with negative rhythm—really, it was impressive.”
It was like he’d turned on a faucet that had been rusted shut for years but when it came to Kinsey, he wasn’t sure there was such a thing as too many words. “I loved you when you told me everything I never realized I wanted to know about maple syrup, shared your meemaw’s secret biscuit with a slab of butter recipe with me, and explained to my neighbor why everyone has a green thumb, they just have to find plants that need their kind of loving. I’ve loved you since the first time I touched you, since the first time I saw you bite down on your bottom lip, and since the first time you looked at me and asked for more.”
He dropped his hands when her bottom lip started trembling, and his gut dropped. He was fucking this up, but he couldn’t stop now. “I’ve loved you since you suggested I should spend a night with my Legos instead of you just because you knew how excited I was to win that eBay bid.” Now his eyes were getting watery. Shut up, numb nuts. Shut. Your. Mouth. “I’ve loved you since you convinced me to watch Glow Up with you and then didn’t stop saying ‘ding dong’ for the next two hours straight. I’ve loved you since we lost three hours we could have spent making love debating the pros and cons of cotton versus linen sheets.” He sucked in a breath, trying to replace all the oxygen from that rush of words, a desperate sense of dread sinking into him as her first tear fell and then another and another. “I’ve loved you since that moment just before I got knocked out in the gym—and I’ve spent the past months scared to death I’d never be able to find the words to convince you to give me a chance and love me back even a fraction of as much as I love you. So yeah, I’ve loved you forever and I always will.”
She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “You can stop now.”
“I can’t yet. Please.” She deserved to know everything and honestly, he couldn’t stop the words from coming even if he’d wanted to. They were pressing against his chest, begging to be let loose and freed. He took a deep breath and rushed on. “I fucked it up. I am fucked up. You were right—my daddy issues are bigger than Harbor City. I see that now. And I tried to show you I love you the way I thought my dad showed he loved me—by making decisions about our relationship that I had no business making on my own in the name of caring. But now I see it all. That man has never loved me, and nothing I do is ever going to change that. I know because that’s not how you treat people you love. You understand their needs and accept their limitations and take pride in their accomplishments. You lift them up; you don’t tear them down. All things you’ve taught me. When my mom died—”
His voice cracked with emotion, and the tears in his eyes started rolling down his cheeks, but Griff wasn’t going to stop; he would never stop giving this amazing woman all of his words. He took her hands, lifting them up and pressing them against his chest where his heart was beating a million miles an hour.
“When my mom died, I couldn’t deal with the prospect that she’d left me all alone. So I’ve spent the last two decades convincing myself that my dad’s hateful words were hiding his love. He pushed me because he cared. But I was wrong, and I’m ready to deal with that now. I’m ready to really love someone, learn to love the right way—if that person is you, Kinsey. I can’t promise I won’t fuck up again, but I’m a fast learner and I know I can learn how love is really supposed to look, if you’ll just give me a chance. Please tell me I haven’t fucked things up too much and you’ll forgive me. I swear I’ll keep talking until I find the right words to convince you—”
God, her tears were free-flowing now. He’d ruined it, ruined it all with all these words. But he couldn’t stop now. He was just rusty at sharing his feelings, that’s all, because he refused to accept he was too late. He just needed to find the right words. “Please don’t give—”
“Shut up, Griff,” she said, her voice breaking as she pulled her hands free and took a step back away from him. “That’s more than enough words.”
And that’s when he knew with the sense of certainty that only comes with disaster that he was too late.
