Since You Happened by Holly Hall
Chapter 26
In the months that follow the Gala, I feel lighter than I probably ever have. I never realized the burden of everything I’ve carried with me for four years until it finally dissipated. I even allow Arielle and Haley to drag me shopping, which is about as momentous—to me at least—as completing a marathon, or a PhD. All it took for me to set them on a rampage was to mention that my apartment felt drab and empty. I meant it more hypothetically, but we spend nearly an entire day frequenting a long chain of home stores.
By the end of the trip, I’m loaded down with curtains for all of my windows, a couple of inspiring, yet horrifically-overpriced coffee table books, some rustic wall-art made from reclaimed wood, and a new duvet with matching throw pillows. The excursion wasn’t entirely unproductive for my friends, either. While Haley and Arielle shared their knack for interior design with me, I rejected the cheesy lingerie Haley picked out for her night with Daniel, redirecting her to something more subtle, and Arielle found the inspiration she needed for a party she’s planning.
Despite what happened with Landon, and my failed date with Paul, Arielle still hasn’t given up on amending my dating woes. When I agree to attend another event with her—this one put on by an organization funding research for a rare genetic disorder—her reasons for bringing me along, aside from securing my charitable donation, become evident. Throughout the night, she smoothly introduces me to many of Denver’s young and successful crowd. And although she doesn’t explicitly say so, I recognize what she’s doing as soon as a pattern emerges; many of the men she targets are rugged, Landon types. Either their hair is the same style or color, or they have a similar taciturn demeanor. Some of them express their interest, but my heart isn’t into it, and it wouldn’t feel right to lead anyone on.
It’s not that I still harbor hope that Landon will come back and bestow his forgiveness upon me; I just remember the scope of the feelings I experienced when I was with Landon so clearly that everyone else seems to pale in comparison, though I never give them much of a chance. Until I feel a semblance of that intensity, there’s no reason to pursue anyone seriously. That hasn’t stopped Arielle and Haley from scheming, though.
We’ve all started a new tradition where we try a new restaurant around the city every week for dinner to spice things up. The company varies from week to week, but it seems to always include a male coworker of Daniel’s, or another of Arielle’s colleagues. I’ve made more friends that I have since college, but all of them are just that—friends.
It’s when I’m casually scrolling through my Facebook feed, looking at photos of everyone’s spring vacations, that I remember, with a pang of sadness, Landon’s photos at the bookstore. I want to see them again, but I can’t bring myself to step foot back in that place. It would feel wrong, infringing on his territory like that. And I don’t know how well my heart would function if I saw him. It’s not until I stop and think about why I liked them so much that I realize they made you feel something rather than just see something. They made me want to reach out and bring those places to me, to experience the exotic sights and smells and sounds of somewhere far away. I pull out my phone and text Arielle and Haley.
Me: Remember when we used to talk about how we would travel the world after college?
Haley: Ugh. Yes. What ever happened to that?
Arielle: Life happened.
Me: This summer, let’s go somewhere. If we don’t do it now, we never will.
Arielle: You’re right. Haley’s going to be wifed up any day now, and you know what that means. Monsters. I mean children.
Haley: Don’t get ahead of yourself, Arielle.
Arielle: Do you have anywhere in mind?
Me: I didn’t get that far. If we’re going to fly all the way to another continent, we might as well see all we can. We could backpack Europe. Or Asia.
Haley: I vote Europe. Italian food.
Arielle: Italian men.
Me: Europe sounds good. June?
Haley: I have a few summer weddings to attend with Daniel. August would probably be better.
Me: Fine, August. Where all should we go?
Arielle: How about this, we do our research separately, pick a few countries we’re interested in, and meet up at dinner sometime to compare notes. Then, we’ll pick. We’ll also make note of the dates we’re all available at the same time.
Me: Done.
Haley: All I’m saying is, we have to go to Paris.
Arielle: Gross. Paris is for lovers.
I set my phone aside and pull my computer back onto my lap. There are about a million places I want to go in life and only a limited amount of time to fit them all in. And what better time to go than now, when the city I love is so choked with memories that I feel the need to get out. I vaguely consider the thought that I may be running from my problems, but I discard it instantly. Besides, even I was, what better place to run to than a country full of carbs and wine? I pull up my browser and begin typing away, more excited than I’ve been about anything in a long, long time.