Lucky Bounce: Game On, Part 2 by Jennifer Lazaris

27

The next twenty minutes were the longest of his life while he waited for the team to wrap things up. Once they were escorted off the stage, a line of cars, complete with drivers, stood at the ready to take them where they wanted to go.

He made a beeline for Penn and took her by the elbow. "Penn, where's Holly? Where did she go?"

"She said she was hot and went to the cars. West talked to your car guy. She pointed to a large, black sedan."

"Thanks."

Eli hurried over to the car and opened the door, then froze. When his gaze locked with hers the stricken look on her face told him everything he needed to know.

His instincts had been right.

He climbed in and nodded to the driver, giving him the address of his penthouse.

"Eli," she said, her voice soft, "I—"

"Not here," he said curtly, cutting her off.

Holly folded her hands in her lap and looked down at the floor of the car. He'd never seen her look so vulnerable, not even on the day when she couldn't walk. How the fuck could he want to hold her, yet be so fucking angry with her?

The minutes ticked by as they waited in miserable traffic, the driver navigating shortcuts to get them where they needed to go. Everyone else was looking for the same shortcuts, so what should have taken twenty minutes dragged on forever.

When they finally arrived at his building, Eli tipped the driver and got out without a word. Holly followed him into the lobby and waited silently as he pushed the call button for the elevator.

When she started to speak, he held up a hand. "No. Wait until we're back at my place."

"Fine." Setting her mouth in a firm line, she stared straight ahead and waited for the elevator to arrive.

When he finally had the door of the penthouse open, she marched past him and into her bedroom to check on the cat.

A note from the pet sitter sat on the counter, telling Holly she'd fed Miss two hours ago. At least they wouldn't have to wait for the sitter to leave before hashing things out. They could get everything out in the open now.

Holly came back into the kitchen and took a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge.

"Is this even really fucking happening?" he asked, locking eyes with her. "Because I feel like I'm in an alternate universe."

"Yes," she murmured, her voice trembling. She clutched the bottle in her hand. "It is."

He scrubbed his hands down over his face. "Jesus Christ."

The anger he'd managed to keep in check for the car ride bubbled up and out, and he couldn't stop it. "How could you keep something like this from me? But you know what? That seems like your go-to thing, Holly. If it's important as fuck, you just hide it."

Holly's face paled. "What? No—"

"Really?" he asked. "So when you realized that you couldn't walk, you just up and told me, then? You didn't keep that shit to yourself for weeks? Maybe I just imagined having to carry you up the stairs."

"That's not fair."

"And you think this is? How long have you been hiding this?"

"Eli, I've only known for a week. I wasn't about to tell you something of this magnitude when you were focusing on the biggest career goal of your life. I wasn't hiding this from you. I was going to tell you after the parade. But then I got the text while we were on the float, and I didn't know what to do."

"What you should have done is tell me."

"I didn't want to ruin your moment," she cried. "I was waiting until after the parade."

"This is bigger than a fucking parade! You're pregnant. You're pregnant with my..." He gritted his teeth. "And you didn't tell me. Instead, I had to find out from that motherfucking blog!"

"So I was supposed to tell you on the float in front of everyone? Eli, come on."

"At least it would have spared me the shock of finding out the way I did. I should have heard this from you, the moment you knew. Instead, I had to get a text of the front page of The Lucky Bounce.”

"Because I was stupid," she whispered. "Lyla threatened to tell you if I didn't give her the feature. I didn't want you to find out that way. But she did it anyway, regardless of our deal."

He stared at her. "That's why you gave her the feature? Holly... for fuck's sake." He covered his face with his hands and sucked in a breath. "You didn't tell me that, either."

"I tried to do the right thing," she said defensively. "I don't regret not telling you immediately, but I do regret how you found out. I didn't know she was following me around, Eli. I should have known better, but I've been so distracted with everything from the fire to getting the MG diagnosis, and now this. I let my guard down."

He swallowed hard. "You told me—" He fought down his emotions, then shook his head. "You told me you loved me. Was that true?"

Holly froze. "How can you ask me that? How?"

"Because someone who loves me wouldn't keep hiding shit from me! I've told you everything! You were the first person that I told about my mother. You know about my family and my sisters. You came with me to talk to my father. I've told you everything. I've poured my guts out to you because I trusted you more than I trust anyone. But you still don't trust me. If you did, you would have told me about that guy who assaulted you. You would have told me about how you were feeling before you knew you had MG. You would have told me about this pregnancy. I thought we were finally getting somewhere. That we were going to have a future together. But you can't have a future with someone you don't trust."

"I trust you! Eli, I trust you. That's not why I kept those things from you."

He gripped the edge of the counter, his knuckles turning white. "Yeah, but the thing is, I don't trust you, Holly. Not anymore." He gestured toward her, waving a hand. "Not after this happened."

She paled and took a step back. "I didn't get pregnant on purpose. I was a few hours late taking a pill, Eli. I didn't know that put me at risk for getting pregnant. And it's not like you insisted on wearing a condom."

He sucked in a breath. "I'm not saying that you got pregnant on purpose, Holly. Jesus Christ. I know it was an accident. I'd never blame you for that. Ever. But you lied to me. You kept this from me."

"What does it even matter?"

"What do you mean?"

"Because I'm keeping the baby, and you don't want kids. So it doesn't matter how I feel, or how you feel. We have no future together, right?"

He stared at her. "Wait, what?"

"You told me, over and over, that you don't want kids. I know what that means. I know where I stand. That means that you're gone, and we're done."

Eli squeezed the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as he contemplated her words.

"Holly, you were asking me about some hypothetical baby. It didn't exist. It wasn't real. We're not dealing in hypotheticals anymore."

She crossed her arms. "Does it make a difference?"

He stared at her, then dragged his hands through his hair. "Holly—"

"I'm strongly pro-choice," she said after a moment. "I've... I've had to make that choice in the past," she said, lifting her chin. "I slept with a guy I didn't even know, right after you and I had fallen out. I was nineteen, and I had no one who could help me. I made the right decision. But this time, it's not an option for me. You need to understand, that this baby—"

"I'm sorry that you went through that," he told her, cutting her off. "Honestly, Holly, I am. It had to be incredibly difficult for you. But I'm so goddamn angry with you that I just can't understand anything you have to say right now. And frankly, I don't really want to."

It was harsh, and he knew it, but it was also the truth.

Eli put his hands on his hips and stared down at the floor. He'd never expected to feel so betrayed, yet that's exactly what he felt.

Completely, utterly betrayed.

"I need some time to process all of this," he said, meeting her eyes. "I'm going to go out for a while."

"We have to talk," she urged, stepping forward. "We can't just pretend this isn't happening."

"Now isn't the time."

She put a hand on his arm. "Eli, please. Don't go. Talk to me. I'm so sorry about how you found out. You don't know what was going on in my head when I realized you saw the text. I was just sick over it. And now, I just—"

He jerked away from her. "No. No, okay? I can't even fucking look at you right now. I'm going out."

She shrank away, pain and hurt evident on her face. Then it was gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by one of resolution.

"I won't be here when you get back. I'm moving out. Penn's other apartment is ready. I can move in at any time."

He paused, then inclined his head. He wasn't going to beg her to stay. "Do whatever you want. I'm leaving."

Stalking over to the bowl near the door, he grabbed his keys and left the penthouse, slamming the door behind him.

He needed to forget about all of this for a little while. Maybe a visit with his sisters would help. And then, maybe he would visit his friends.

Right now, home was the last place he wanted to be.

Home.

He'd never really had anywhere feel like home until Holly had come to stay. And now, with her leaving, home would be back to being just another place to sleep.

And it would feel just like he did now—fucking empty.

* * *

After having dinner with his sisters before they left for the airport to go home, he went over Ryder's house to hang out. Brandon was over there too, and to his surprise, Fally. He thought the day would have worn his friend out.

"Hey," Ryder said, opening the front door. "Come on in. Do you want something to drink? Soda's upstairs, beer is downstairs."

"Beer, and keep them coming," he muttered.

"Good thing I'm stocked up." Ryder gave him a curious look.

He followed Ryder down into his self-proclaimed man cave, complete with all leather furniture, a sixty-inch television, and every gaming console known to man.

Brandon and Fally kicked back on the wraparound couch, watching an action movie.

"What's up, D?" Fally asked.

Brandon lifted his beer. "Hey, bud."

Ryder popped the top off a bottle and handed it to Eli. "Have a seat."

He plopped down on the opposite side of the couch as Ryder sank down into his lounge chair.

"You look like shit, D." Brandon raised an eyebrow as he surveyed him.

"Thanks, Jet. I appreciate your candid assessment." He took a swig from the bottle and gave his friend a dirty look.

"I can tell something is off. Your hair is a mess, and you look tired. I don't know." Brandon shrugged. "We're all tired from today, but you look haggard."

"Holly's pregnant."

Three pairs of eyes zeroed in on him.

"Say what?" Ryder sputtered. "Holy shit."

"Wowwww, D." Fally shook his head. "How are you dealing with this?"

"By the looks of it, not that great," Brandon chimed in.

"It's a complete clusterfuck," Eli told them, sinking back against the couch. "She didn't tell me, and I got a text while we were up on stage. It was from an unknown number with a screen capture of the front page of The Lucky Bounce blog. It showed Holly holding a pregnancy test box."

"How long has she known?" Ryder asked.

"About a week. She had no right to keep this from me."

"You're joking." Fally gaped at him. "Eli, that's huge news, and you were playing for the Cup. She did the right thing waiting to tell you."

"It's not just that. She's kept a few important things from me. It's a big deal. And they weren't minor things." He paused. "This can't go further than this room, okay? But she was assaulted by a group of guys in a parking lot a while back. I was at practice. The one guy grabbed her. She got away, but..." Eli shrugged. "She never told me. I saw the bruises on the arm and had to pry it out of her."

"Holy fuck." Brandon's eyebrows shot up in the air. "That's awful."

"And then she hid the MG thing from me, too." He paused. "We've gotten close. Really close. So for her to hide this shit... it's fucked up."

"Holly has had it pretty tough lately, D." Ryder ran a hand over his beard. "The fire, losing all of her things, the MG, and now this? You know how independent she is. She's fierce. I can't see her doing this to deliberately shut you out."

"Weren't you the one who defended Hannah keeping stuff from me before we worked things out?" Brandon asked Eli. "You can't judge Holly for the same thing."

"Hannah wasn't assaulted," he shot back. "She wasn't diagnosed with something life changing, and she didn't hide a pregnancy. I'm pretty sure this is majorly fucking different."

Brandon shrugged. "You're right, but I was being hard on her, and you saw that. And I think you're being hard on Holly."

"Agreed," Fally said.

"Thirded." Ryder piped up. "Sorry, bud."

"Glad to see I can count on my friends to have my back," he snapped, then took another swig of beer. "Thanks a lot."

"We are your friends, and that's why we're calling you out. Look, I get it. You feel betrayed. I did too when Hannah kept shit from me," Brandon offered. "But you need to sit down with Holly and sort this shit out. Because it's not just about the two of you anymore. At least it's not if she's keeping the baby."

"She's keeping it."

"And how do you feel about that?" Fally asked.

"I don't know what I feel right now." He dragged a hand down over his face. "I didn't want kids. I told her that when she was asking me questions for the feature she was writing."

The three men exchanged looks. "And you wonder why she didn't tell you?" Ryder asked. "There's your answer."

"She was asking me a hypothetical question," he argued. "This isn't fucking hypothetical anymore."

"Was she supposed to read your mind to know that? D, she was probably scared as hell to tell you, knowing how you felt about kids. It's not like me and Zoe. I'd fucking turn a cartwheel if Zoe told me she was pregnant. I can't wait to have babies with my wife."

"Holly and I are just finding our way. And now she's having my..." Eli waved a hand. "I'm fucking freaked out."

"Do you want Holly?" Fally asked, leaning forward. "Because it sounds like this is a package deal, Eli. Probably another reason she was afraid to tell you."

"You know, you aren't exactly the king of forthcoming, either," Ryder pointed out. "You've been keeping some massive shit to yourself for years. I didn't know your mom was ill until we won the Cup, and you mentioned it in an interview. We're supposed to be your friends. We had no idea what had happened with your parents, and now you have sisters. It's a lot to keep from us."

"That's different. I didn't want people feeling sorry for me. I needed to escape a lot of it."

"You have your reasons for doing what you did, and Holly has hers. Did you ask her about why she hid this stuff?"

Eli picked at the label on his beer bottle, wiping off the condensation with his thumb. "No. She tried to tell me, and I told her I didn't want to hear it. Our argument didn't end well. She's moving out."

"I know this is tough to hear, D," Brandon said, "but this baby is coming whether you are on board with it or not. I was scared shitless when Stacey got pregnant with Briar. We weren't married. Hell, I wasn't even in love with her. You can choose to not be involved and send Holly child support, or you can be a father to this kid, with or without her. Those are your options."

"And only you can make that decision," Fally told him. "Do you love her?"

"Is the sky fucking blue?" he shot back. "Yeah, I love her. But that doesn't mean I'm okay with what she did. And it doesn't mean I know how I feel about all of this yet."

"Just talk to her," Brandon said. "Hash all of it out, D."

Eli glanced over at the television set. "Yeah, I know."

Though after how they'd left things, he wasn't sure if she was going to even want to talk to him again. He guessed he'd find out soon enough.

* * *

Five days. It had been five fucking days since he and Holly had last spoken. He’d been lower than low, battling a sense of panic that ebbed and flowed along with sheer, utter exhaustion.

He’d bitten the bullet and called Irena to discuss moving his mother into the care facility. He’d gone to visit the place himself, and he was satisfied that the nurse had been right. It really was the best place for his mother. He’d talked to the staff and secured her spot. All that was left to do now was to get her moved in.

It was going to break his heart, whether it was the right decision or not.

For now, Troy had decided to stay with her for a few weeks, and he'd been handling any issues that arose.

When he'd asked his father why he'd chosen to stay in Vegas, he'd said he wanted to spend time with family—Eli included—if he was up for it. He'd stored up a lot of vacation time from work.

His father had looked him straight in the eye and told him to take a break because it really looked like he needed one.

Since that conversation, Eli had slept long and hard, yet he was still mentally exhausted. He couldn’t deny that the break was desperately needed. Lately, he felt like he was barely holding on.

He forced himself to get up, brush his teeth, and take a shower. He stayed under the water until it ran icy cold, and he began to shiver.

After towel drying his hair, he yanked on a clean pair of cargo shorts and a t-shirt.

It was time to talk to Holly before he lost his nerve. What the hell he was going to say remained to be seen.

Even after a few days away from her, he still couldn't wrap his head around everything.

But he missed her, and he needed to see her face. Maybe then everything would fall into place.

* * *

Eli walked up the stairs of the small building to the second floor and rang the buzzer to Holly's apartment.

When she opened the door, he was surprised to see her all dressed up in a black skirt and a pink button-down shirt with a fitted black blazer on top. She'd pulled her hair into a bun and done her makeup.

"Eli?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought we could talk." He gestured at her outfit. "Unless you're going somewhere."

"No, I'm not going anywhere. I have a job interview in a little while via video chat, but I have some time. Come in."

"A video chat interview?" he asked, frowning.

She shrugged and held the door open for him.

Eli glanced around at the sunny yellow walls. The place was tiny but neat and cheerful with all the bright paint.

"You said you wanted to talk?"

She sounded so formal, and it broke his heart. This wasn't how it was supposed to be between them. Though the blame for that could be laid squarely at his feet.

Miss let out a soft mew from her spot in the corner of the living room, and he couldn't help but smile. "Hey, fuzzball. How are you doing?”

The cat did a slow blink and curled up further in her cushy bed, then closed her eyes.

"Guess she's settling in well?"

"Seems to be," Holly replied, shutting the door behind him.

"Look, I just... I wanted to apologize for stomping out of the penthouse the other day. And for saying what I said." The words tumbled out of him. "I was upset and blindsided."

"And now?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm really struggling to wrap my head around this."

"I never meant for any of this to happen the way it did," she said. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She stared up at him with solemn hazel eyes, full of regret and sadness.

"I know you didn't." He wanted to pull her against him. To kiss her and tell her that it was all going to be okay. That they'd figure it out.

But that just wasn't a promise he could make.

A sudden surge of panic took him by surprise, and his chest grew tight. The idea of walking away from her, after coming this far—just because he wasn't sure if he was capable of being a father—was too painful for him to talk about.

It was even too painful to think about.

The very idea of fatherhood filled him with a kind of terror he'd never experienced. A choking, panic-inducing kind of fear.

"Eli?" She placed a hand on his arm, a concerned look on her pretty face. "Are you okay?"

"I just want you to know that I'll do my part, Holly."

A look of surprise crossed her face, followed by one of hope.

"Wait, do you mean that you—"

"I mean that monetarily, you can depend on me. I played my part in this, and I realize I have a financial responsibility. Money's no object, okay?" He cleared his throat. "No matter what... no matter how things end up with us, whatever the kid needs, I'll pay for it."

Her face fell, and she turned around to grab a bottle of water off of the coffee table. "Right," she muttered, her voice flat. "Yeah, okay."

"I'm going to be busy for a while. I've got a shit ton on my plate with my mom. I need to take care of all of that before I can wrap my head around this, and—"

"Just stop," she ordered. "Stop with the excuses and say what you came to say—that we're over."

"How can we be over when we never even fucking started?" he snapped. "I thought we were finally getting somewhere, and you still wanted to wait to make things official." He stared down at her. "You knew that night, didn't you? In the laundry room, after the Cup win."

She looked away. "Yes, I knew."

"That's why you wouldn't give the green light to start things up with us. Why you wanted to wait until after the parade to discuss things."

"Yes, because I didn't know how you'd feel about any of it," she said quietly. "I didn't know if you'd want to be with me after you found out, and I didn't..."

"What?" he prodded. "You didn't what?"

"I didn't want to commit to you, and then have it end. I didn't want to break your heart."

"Newsflash, Wilkes, it's a little fucking late for that." He uttered a harsh laugh. "Way too goddamned late."

"And you think what you're doing isn't breaking mine?" she cried.

"I'm not doing anything!"

"You're right about that," she said bitterly. "You're not."

"I'm not going to stand here and fight with you. I said what I came to say."

"Yeah, you did." She gave him a curt nod as her eyes welled up. "I heard you. You'll pay child support. Great." Holly marched over to the door and opened it. "I have to get ready for my interview."

"Fine."

He was almost out the door, and then he turned around. She held his gaze as he stared down at her, and he couldn't take the pain he saw in her eyes. Suddenly it was all too much.

"Holly," he murmured, bringing his hand up to cup her face. "I'm sorry."

He stroked her cheek gently with his thumb. Leaning his forehead against hers, he slid his hand down to the back of her neck. She grew still, and her soft gasp of breath brought him back to the moment.

"So am I." The sadness in her voice was a punch to his gut.

Eli pressed his lips to her cheek and closed his eyes. "I love you, Wilkes. I love you so fucking much. No matter what, never doubt that."

And then he stepped away, looking down at her pretty face one last time before hurrying down the stairs. He didn't look back because he knew he'd lose it. He just kept going, putting one foot in front of the other until he was behind the wheel of his SUV.

If it had been that hard to walk away just now, how was he supposed to move forward without her?

God, he was so fucked up.