Sinner Like Me by Avril Ashton

Fourteen

Playing host to a bunch of rowdy men wasn’t as hard as it should have been. Syren just stood back and gave everyone free run of the house. That worked better. He watched as Angel, Gabe, and Nina disappeared into her bedroom to do a Skype call with their fertility doctor.

He was still shocked by Nina’s generosity. Her selflessness. He’d expected none of it. He’d spent the plane ride to Costa Rica wracking his brain to remember if he had any contacts, anyone he could call on, to give Gabe and Angel what they so desperately wanted. Maybe Nina would be the answer to their prayers. One could only hope.

He’d keep his fingers crossed that this was their miracle, but just in case he had the name and contact information for a Romanian adoption agency. He could help them adopt for sure, but he knew they wanted a biological child more than anything.

Càtia had talked her daddy into taking her for a walk on the beach so those two were missing in action. Pablo and Isa had cooked up a feast for an army and everyone was lounging after eating their fill. He and Kane had put off talking to Isa. Syren had mentioned their intent over the phone before, but they had to find the time to sit and fully discuss what they needed from her.

His breath grew shallow for a second there. Planning for a future was no small thing. Not after the life he’d led. Babies. A husband. He had to smile.

“You look like you’ve got a secret.” Mateo walked over to him, Tommy at his side. “What’s got you smiling?”

Syren shrugged. “Just thinking about my life.” He eyed them. “You guys good?”

Tommy nodded and a lock of hair fell forward, covering his right eye. “Is it true Nina is going to be Angel and Gabe’s surrogate?”

“She offered, but of course there are still lots of things to be done before they get to that point.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Why? Thinking about hatching some little Mateos?”

Tommy turned bright red, but Mateo glared at Syren. “Watch your mouth, smallest, you don’t want me to catch a body up in here.” He hugged Tommy close. “T and I aren’t ready for kids.”

Tommy snuggled into Mateo’s side, sliding his left hand over Mateo’s chest in a soothing gesture.

“Soo…” Syren glanced back and forth between them. “No kids? Ever?”

Tommy shrugged. “Maybe someday. We’re not saying never. Just, no time soon.”

“We like being uncles, though, so you can go ahead with the plans for a son.” Mateo chuckled when Syren blinked. “Kane told us you’re giving him a son.”

Syren reached over and tousled Tommy’s hair. “That’s the plan.” When Tommy smiled up at him, Syren asked, “So what did you crazy kids do for your anniversary?”

Tommy looked like he wanted to melt into the floor and Mateo, well, that one had a very feral gleam in his eyes and a self-satisfied grin on his face.

“We stayed in.” A wealth of meaning was behind those words, but Mateo’s expression dared Syren to say something else. He didn’t. He knew when to shut up.

“Uh-huh.” Syren looked at Tommy. The younger man had his bottom lip between his teeth, gaze darting all around the room. “Something you wanna share, Tommy?”

“Thank you.” Tommy met his gaze squarely. “For sharing your day with us. You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. I was happy to do it.” He tucked an errant lock of hair behind Tommy’s ear. “I made the decision when this one here”—he jerked his thumb toward Mateo—“dropped to his knees with that huge rock. I’m honored that we got to share it, all of it.”

Mateo’s gaze and tone softened considerably when he said, “Of course, we had to have a second ceremony to appease my moms. She still brings it up when she wants me to do something.”

Syren chuckled. He’d met Mateo’s mother only once, but just like her son, she’d made quite the impression. Pablo called out to Mateo from the other side of the room, and after a nod in Syren’s direction, the two men walked away, arm in arm. He watched them go, a nostalgic smile on his face, until he caught movement at the corner of his eye. He glanced over to see Shane walk outside, his hands shoved into his pockets.

He’d never really had a chance to sit and talk with Shane the way he’d done with any of the other men. That was his fault, though, because looking at Shane had always brought into focus what he’d done, that selfish kiss he’d shared with Pablo. He knew he’d hurt Shane with that act, and he hadn’t wanted to see it in the DEA agent’s eyes. But Shane had accepted his apology, and Syren really wanted to know how he and Pablo were dealing with the impending prospect of having a baby.

He hurried after Shane and found him standing in the far corner of the veranda, under the mounted lights, staring up at the dark sky.

“Hey.”

Shane looked over his shoulder then went back to staring at the sky. “Hey.” He didn’t sound put off or hesitant, but he wasn’t welcoming either.

“How are Heather and the baby?” He’d heard Shane and Pablo talking on the phone earlier, checking in with Heather.

“They’re good.” Shane’s shoulders lifted. “She’s got swollen feet and fucked-up taste buds, but they’re good.”

“You must be thrilled.” Syren leaned against the veranda, eyeing Shane’s still frame.

The other man nodded. “I’m happy, yes.”

But he didn’t sound it. Syren just stared at his back, saying nothing until Shane heaved a sigh and finally turned to face him.

“I am happy, but I’m also scared and asking myself what the fuck?” He ran his fingers through his hair, an aggressive act. “What if we mess up?”

Syren smiled.

“What?” Shane frowned.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this frazzled before.” He lowered his lashes. “Kinda sexy on you.”

Shane stared at him, mouth hanging open. “You coming on to me?”

Syren burst out laughing. “You wish. Did you tell your man about all this, what you’re feeling?”

Shane’s shoulders dropped. He grunted. “I can’t. He’s so freaking happy, it’s unbelievable.” He went back to staring at the sky. “I don’t want to dampen this for him.”

“I don’t think you can dampen it, but I do think you need to tell him what it is you’re feeling.” He stepped forward and touched Shane’s arm. “You should be in this together. What you feel is what you feel, but I think sharing it with your husband can help do away with the guilt.” He gave a dry chuckle. “I’m speaking from experience, by the way.”

Shane glanced over at him, expression unreadable. “You know, you’re nothing like what I imagined you to be the first time we met.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“He loves you.”

Syren blinked. “Uh…Who?”

“J.P.”

“Uhm…” Syren froze.

“It’s why we’re here,” Shane said softly. He didn’t sound angry or sad. His tone was controlled. Even. “It’s why we’ll always be here when you need us. Because he loves you.”

“I’m-I’m sorry.” Jesus, what did he do in a situation like this one?

“No. I mean, I get it.” The corners of Shane’s mouth curved up. “I see why Angel loves you, why J.P. loves you, why Mateo loves you.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “There’s something about you that pulls people in, and I honestly don’t think you even know or understand what that is.”

“I—”

“You look like you’re helpless, with that gorgeous face. You’re all tiny and doll-like.”

Syren couldn’t tell if that was a compliment or an insult to his small stature, but he didn’t say a thing. He just watched Shane as he spoke.

“Your eyes give away your strength, but for someone to see that strength they need to get close enough to you.” Shane chuckled. “That’s the rub, though. Because you don’t let people get close, and if you ever do, they don’t live long enough to see what’s hidden in the depths of your very pretty eyes.” When Syren cocked his head, Shane shrugged. “Just calling ’em like I see ’em.”

“You don’t like that your husband loves me?” Syren asked pointedly. “That he comes running when I call?”

“Actually, I don’t care that he loves you. I’m not threatened by that love because it’s brotherly love, a familial bond. I know that. He’s loyal to you.”

“As I’m loyal to him.”

“Exactly. We come because you need him and because I know that if we ever need you, you’ll come just as fast.”

“Always.” Syren stepped forward. “I love those men just as much. I appreciate their presence in my life. You guys, you’re my family. The people I chose to be near me, my daughter. You’re family, Shane, and I’ll fight and die for family.”

After a pregnant pause, Shane nodded.

“I know I had to work to get your trust after what I did—”

“You didn’t really do anything. J.P. had to earn my trust, he owed me something, not you.” Shane shook his head. “I was leery of you because I didn’t know you at that time. I’d heard of Faro, not Syren. I had to get to know you, but there’s always been that deadly shit lurking in your eyes, waiting to explode.”

“I’m a complicated mess,” Syren acknowledged. “I realize that.”

Shane snorted. “You’re not that complicated. You’re a family man, you’re a husband, and you’re a little bloodthirsty.” He shrugged. “But then so are all of us, really.”

What could he say? Shane got him, summed him up in a nutshell. “I’ve always thought Pablo was a lucky man. Glad I was right. I was worried about him for a long time,” he said. “You make him happy and you let him be him. Thank you for that.”

“I happen to love J.P. when he’s being all J.P.” Shane’s teeth flashed. “Nothing sexier.”

“Right?” All those tattoos and the naked skin and the…Syren hummed and Shane cut him a look. “Oh, you know, totally innocent stuff.”

“You’re picturing him naked, aren’t you?”

“Yep.” They chuckled together and when they finally sobered, Syren said, “I think you’ll be great parents. Your baby is going to be loved and cherished.”

Shane’s eyes glittered. “Heard you’ll soon be in this position.”

“Yep, Marshal wants a son. And what my husband wants, I make sure he gets.”