Sinner Like Me by Avril Ashton

Two

Kane grinned when Syren’s jaw went slack, his eyes bugging out of his head.

“What?”

“I meant the words I spoke in our vows, you know.” He cupped Syren’s face, brought their foreheads together. “I want to have children with you.”

Syren blinked. “Yeah, but that’s— It’s only been a year.”

He actually looked scared and Kane frowned. “Is there a set period of time we should wait before trying?”

“No. I—” Syren licked his lips, shaking his head slowly. “I’m kinda shocked.”

Why would he be? “Why are you shocked?” Kane asked. “You know I want more children.”

“Yes, but I—” Syren pulled away from him and rolled off the bed. He paced the floor, his cock impressive even in its flaccid state. “I thought we had more time.”

Kane stared at him silently. Today marked their one-year anniversary as a married couple. They’d gotten hitched in Connecticut, his home state, two months after the day he’d gone to Syren in Costa Rica. Their life together was completely different than anything Kane had experienced, that was for sure. They had a daughter. That entailed PTA meetings and doctors’ visits and bedtime stories with the most wonderful little girl. He loved Càtia. She was his, in every way. But she’d asked them for a little brother not too long ago. Syren and Kane had been too stunned to say anything other than “uh-huh,” but Kane wanted more children. They had the money, the resources, and most importantly they had the love to give.

He didn’t understand why Syren was hesitant.

“Do you need more time?” Kane asked his husband. He’d give Syren whatever he needed, even if that meant more time.

Syren stopped mid-pace, fingers tugging at his white-blond hair. His eyes, a spectacularly vibrant purple, were soft, dreamlike. “Do you know sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just look at you?”

“You do?”

Syren nodded, his eyes glittering. “Because in my dreams you’re not here, in my dreams you’re still the unattainable Kane Ashby.”

Kane went to him, catching Syren’s face in both hands. “But I’m here with you. Because I love you.” There’d been a time when he’d been blind and stubborn and hadn’t appreciated all that he had in Syren. A time when he would have walked away from the love they had—and did for a short time—before he saw reason. He had to make up for the mistakes he’d made and he would gladly do so for the rest of his life, as long as he had Syren at his side.

Syren stared up at him, tears in his eyes. Kane’s throat hurt.

“Why?” Syren whispered. “Why are you here? Why do you love me?”

It wasn’t a selfish question. Kane knew his husband too well. Something was going on with him. His old doubts were back and it was Kane’s job to get rid of them. He took Syren into his arms, holding his body against his own, naked skin on warm, smooth naked skin. He inhaled Syren’s scent, and with a hand at Syren’s nape and another cupping his jaw, Kane spoke.

“I’m here because this is where you are,” he said softly. “I’m here because this is where I want to be. Anywhere you go, I’ll be next to you because you’re mine.” He kissed Syren’s nose. “You’re amazing—your strength, your capacity to love, to endure. Fuck, to survive and thrive. Your heart is so big, babe.”

“I didn’t have one,” Syren said brokenly. “I didn’t have a heart, until I saw you, until you touched me and brought me back to life.”

“You did, you had a heart. You had Càtia and Henri and Isa.” Kane smoothed his thumb over Syren’s trembling bottom lip. “I was the one not living, just existing, and you came into my life and blew everything apart. You with your feisty fucking attitude and your gorgeous sad eyes, and your sexy panties.”

Syren smiled as a tear rolled down his cheek. Kane wiped it off.

“I’m yours,” Kane said. “Always.” He held up his left hand, showing the platinum band on his ring finger. “You made sure of it.”

“I had to lock you down.” Syren shrugged.

Kane chuckled. He tucked Syren’s face into his chest and spoke into his ear. “You did, and that’s just what I wanted because I got to lock you down as well. Got to make you mine.”

Syren shivered. “I’ve been yours since forever.”

“And now we’re together.” Kane tugged on Syren’s hair until their eyes met. “Don’t let the dreams keep you from reality, because I promise...” He scraped his fingernails over Syren’s scalp, watched his pupils dilate. “Reality is so much better.”

Syren touched him, gentle fingers gliding across his jaw. “I never envisioned this, you know. When I closed my eyes and imagined us together, I never got as far as this.”

“Marriage and children?”

“I watched you stand next to your brother when he and Angel got married—”

“You were there?” They’d officially met after Gabe and Angel got married, but Kane didn’t remember seeing Syren at the ceremony. He would have remembered someone who looked like Syren. And the wedding was a very small, very intimate, and brief affair in Boston.

“I hid behind potted plants and doors and shit.”

“Why?”

Syren’s smile was self-deprecating when he said, “I don’t think I was ready to be face-to-face with you.”

Kane kissed him, slow and deep. Syren clutched him tightly, pressing closer. “I’m glad we met because I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Can’t imagine life without our daughter.” Whenever he called Càtia his daughter, his breath caught and his throat closed up. He never thought he’d have it, the family he’d wanted for so long. “You gave me this, you know. A family. A daughter. The ability to say that beautiful little girl is mine. You gave me that.”

“She’s ours.” Syren kissed his throat, nosed him there.

Kane wrapped his arms around Syren’s smaller frame and just held him, Syren’s face pressed to his neck, his hands buried in Syren’s hair. Words weren’t always needed. Not when they had this. He held Syren and rocked slowly, side to side, dancing without moving his feet. A sound left Syren’s throat and reverberated in Kane’s chest, as his husband moved with him.

They danced to the imaginary music, in a silent hotel room in New York City. Their one-year anniversary as a married couple. It was a year Kane wouldn’t change for anything. Getting to know his husband, learning even more about him. Being there for Càtia. Sharing in the raising of that little girl. His life was filled with precious moments, some big but most of them small. He loved his life, loved the quiet moments that were now so few and far between.

“The first time I saw you I knew you’d change my life,” he murmured.

Syren swayed with him. “And I wanted you to change mine.”

“Then we got what we wanted, didn’t we?”

“Not yet, you haven’t.” Syren stopped and stepped back. “You want a son.” When Kane opened his mouth, Syren waved his hand. “Don’t use our daughter. Tell me.”

Kane nodded. “Yes.”

Syren smiled. “You think you can deal with another child in the house, plus O.G.?”

“Of course.”

“And you do realize this means our sex life will be fucked, and not in a good way, right?”

Kane narrowed his eyes. “Better not be.” He stepped closer. “Is that a yes?”

“Did you think I’d say no?”

Did he? “No. I know how much you love being a father.” Syren was a completely different person when he was with Càtia.

“So you’ll get your son.” Syren looked up at him through his lashes. “Two is enough, right? Because I gotta tell you, we are not having a football team.”

Kane laughed. “Two is good. A boy and a girl, perfect for us.”

Syren hugged him close. “One of each?”

“Yes.” Kane fisted Syren’s hair and yanked his head back. “Do you know how much I love you? How much I would die for you?”

Syren’s gaze was steady on his face, eyes bright. “I do because I feel the same.”

“Then we’re on the same page.” Kane glanced at the rumpled bed, at the mattress jacked sideways. “I brought the handcuffs.”

Syren shivered. “Fuck.”

“Indeed.”