Sinner Like Me by Avril Ashton

Four

“No further questions for this witness, Your Honor.”

Kane sat back in the witness box, hands folded in his lap as the judge turned to the defense table.

“Mr. Banner, any cross for Mr. Ashby?”

The lead lawyer for the defense shook his head as he got to his feet. “Not at this time, Your Honor, but we reserve the right to recall.”

“Very well.” The judge looked over at Kane. “Mr. Ashby, you may step down.”

Kane nodded his thanks and quickly left the courtroom with a small sigh. He always hated when he had to testify, but this time was relatively painless. Errol Painter had killed one of Kane’s colleagues in a convenience store hold up a year before then went on the run. Kane’s office had aided the Brooklyn office in finding the fugitive. Painter had engaged them in a standoff for hours, shooting at the officers, and getting a bullet in the torso for his trouble. He’d then accused the officers of abuse, and as one of the first marshals on the scene, Kane had been called by the prosecutor to testify to Painter’s words and actions during the entire ordeal.

His testimony lasted for the better half of the day and he was hungry and his eyes gritty.

He wanted to drop onto a soft place and sleep. He couldn’t leave New York yet, since the defense could still call him back to the stand, but he missed his family. Damn. Missed them like a physical ache.

Outside the courtroom, he turned back on his cell phone and his phone immediately went off, beeping to indicate missed calls and texts. All from Syren. He frowned. Before he could make out the texts his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Daddy.”

He smiled and sank onto a bench placed along the wall. “Hey, baby girl. How was school?”

“I had to leave early. Papa said so.”

“Uh. Okay.” He hadn’t been aware Càtia had early dismissal. “So what are you doing now?”

“Watching movies. Papa says I can make popcorn if I finish all my homework.”

“That’s great. Càtia, let me talk to Papa.”

“Okay. Bye, Daddy.”

Syren came on the line. “Marshal.”

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing’s wrong.”

Kane narrowed his eyes even though Syren couldn’t see. “You’ve been blowing up my phone. Why?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Syren sounded...weird. More so than usual.

“I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” Kane looked around then lowered his voice. “Why do you sound so strange?”

“I don’t sound strange.”

“Yes, you do. What’s wrong?”

After a drawn-out silence, Syren finally sighed. “I just wanted to hear your voice. I was...down for a second and I wanted to hear you. And I wanted to say that I miss you, and you owe me big time for having to sleep all alone in our big bed tonight.”

“Don’t.” Kane scrubbed a hand over his face. “Don’t deflect. I asked you a question. I expect an answer. What’s wrong?”

“Not over the phone,” Syren said softly. “We can talk when you get home. And I expect you home, Marshal. Always. Do you understand?’

Kane nodded. “Yes.” He didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he’d damn sure find out.

“Okay.” Syren sniffed then said, “I gotta go, your daughter is burning the popcorn.”

Kane chuckled. “Bye.”

“I love you, Marshal.”

Syren hung up and Kane sat staring at the phone in his hand. Falling in love and marrying a man as complex and complicated as Syren had its adventurous and fun moments, but there were also those moments like now when Kane wished he knew what was going on inside his husband’s head. Getting Syren to talk to him wasn’t as hard as it was when they first got together, but it still wasn’t as easy as it should be. Syren was used to handling his stuff alone, he was used to keeping shit close to the vest, and he hadn’t yet broken out of that cycle. Kane learned that pushing put Syren on the defense, and ignoring him wasn’t an option. He’d taken to seducing most things out of Syren. It was enjoyable for them both and very effective.

He’d have to do the same this time, he already knew it. He dialed a Paris phone number and waited. He didn’t even know what time it was over there, but he didn’t care.

“Hello, Kane.”

He grinned. “Isa, how’s my favorite sister-in-law?”

Isa huffed. “It’s too damn late for the bribery, Kane. I’m your only sister-in-law.”

“Yeah, but you’re still my favorite.” He chuckled when she snorted. “I need your help. I’m in New York and I need to know where to go to buy Syren some goodies. Lace goodies.”

“Did you mess up?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, I didn’t mess up. Now, tell me.”

She gave him a Madison Avenue address then paused. “Do you know his size?”

Heat washed over his face when he flushed. “Um. Nope.”

She snickered. “Important things. You must know this if you plan to butter him up with lace goodies.”

She was right, of course. He didn’t usually buy Syren’s panties. He tended to let Isa do that. She gave him Syren’s size, and then Kane asked, “Have you spoken to him? Do you know why he’s acting so weird?”

“Weird? Isn’t that an everyday thing with your husband?”

“Weirder than usual, Isa. He sounds off somehow.”

“No,” she said slowly. “We haven’t spoken today. I called, but he didn’t answer.”

Then something was definitely up. He thanked Isa for her help and hung up.

Someone touched his shoulder. “Hey.”

He looked up and smiled. “Vince.” He shot to his feet and pulled Vince into a loose hug. Vince Hardin used to be his partner at work and at one time—a very short time—they’d been more. But Kane loved Syren and Vince could never be Syren. They’d ended things on not-so-nice terms and Kane hadn’t seen the other man since that day. “Hey man, what’s up?”

Vince shrugged. “Same as you. Got called to testify.” He eyed Kane up and down. “You look good.”

Kane sat back down and motioned for Vince to join him. “I feel good, man. How are things at work? Everyone good?”

Vince nodded. “They’re the same. We miss you there, though.” He looked away then back at Kane, Adam’s apple shifting. “I miss you.”

“I miss you guys too, can’t lie about that.” He slapped Vince on the back. “How have you been?” He knew he hurt Vince, which was never his intention, but they’d been friends and partners for years. He didn’t want to lose that friendship. Vince was a great guy. And he did look good, though a bit on the smaller side.

“I’ve been busy,” Vince said. “Work’s hectic, but I’ve put in for some time off.” He rubbed a hand over his head. “I seriously need some downtime.”

He did look ragged, now that Kane looked closer. New lines bracketed Vince’s eyes and mouth. “What will you do?”

“Sleep for a week nonstop.” Vince laughed. “Just rest, man. I need to recharge.”

“I hear that.” They sat in the thick silence, their past unspoken but still there, hovering between them.

“Heard you got married.” Vince spoke the words so low, Kane had to lean closer to fully understand them.

“Yep. One year last week.” He didn’t want to brag or hurt Vince more than he already had so he kept it short.

Vince sat with his palms flat on his thighs, knees apart, looking everywhere but at Kane when he asked, “Are you happy?”

“Vince, look at me.” Kane waited until Vince met his gaze before he said, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I shouldn’t have started something with you knowing it would never work. I shouldn’t have leaned on you, made you think we were more than we were. I’m sorry for that.”

Vince’s skin went pale, but he nodded.

“I was in love with someone else and used you as a substitute for who and what I really wanted. It was a dick move, and one you didn’t deserve.”

Vince bit his bottom lip and glanced away. “I was willing to take whatever you were willing to give.”

Fuck. Kane felt so bad for the other man. He touched Vince’s arm. “It should never have to be that way. You should never have to settle for less than what you want and deserve.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Vince shook his head. “I’m not proud of it, but I wanted you and I was willing to do anything...”

That was all kinds of fucked, wasn’t it? “Vince, listen to me. You deserve someone who can feel for you what you feel for him,” he said harshly. “Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t settle, please. Don’t make do.” He tightened his hold on Vince’s arm. “If you want it all, then that’s what you should have, and if a man can’t give you that, you move on.”

Vince smiled, a tremulous curve of his mouth. “You’re different.”

Kane narrowed his eyes. “Different how?”

“Alive. On your toes and in the moment.”

“Being the father to a third grader will do that to you.” His smile fell away when Vince’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry.”

“You have a child?”

He nodded. “Yes. We—We have a daughter.”

Vince pursed his lips and closed his eyes. “I’m—I bet you’re great with her. You’d be great.”

The words sounded like they were difficult to speak. “Vince.”

Vince shot to his feet. Hands shoved into his pockets, he paced the small space in front of Kane. Back and forth. Back and forth. Until he stopped and looked Kane dead in the eye.

“I’m still in love with you.”

The blurted words rocked Kane and appeared to shock Vince as well because the other man cursed viciously.

“Fuck. I swore I wouldn’t tell you that.”

“Vince.” He didn’t know what to say. How did he respond without hurting Vince even more?

“I know. I need to get over it and I will.” Vince balled his fists. “I will.” He smiled down at Kane, heartbreak etched into every angle of his face. “Your husband, he’s the luckiest man.”

He turned away, gave Kane his back. Then swung around again. “If he breaks your heart...”

Kane stood and pulled him into a hug. “Be happy, Vince.”

Vince shook in his arms and clung to him. They stood locked in that embrace until Vince lifted his head and pressed his lips to Kane’s.

Kane pulled away and looked around. “In public?” He smiled. “You’re getting braver.”

He knew Vince had never really stepped out of the closet.

“I’m definitely getting braver.” Vince grinned. “The guys at work know.”

“You told them? That’s great.” Kane knew what a really big step that must have been for Vince. “I’m so proud of you.”

Vince shrugged. “Small, but necessary steps.”

“Good steps.” Kane cupped his jaw. “Don’t settle, Vince. Take only happiness.” He patted Vince’s cheek and walked off.

The defense rested its case that evening without recalling him to the stand, so he did some shopping and took the packed rush-hour train back to Connecticut. He got home in time to help Càtia in the bath and read her a bedtime story before she fell asleep. He was exhausted for damn sure, but when he stepped into their bedroom after his shower and saw Syren standing in the middle of the room, he was wide awake. And energized.

He wore his purple robe slash kimono thing that Kane really liked. And he just stood there, his hair a mess around his head and his eyes hooded. The shopping bag Kane had brought with him was on the floor next to Syren’s feet, on its side, empty.

“I got your gift,” Syren said softly.

“Did you?” Kane licked his lips. “Where is it?”

Syren spun around, giving Kane his back, and undid the sash holding the kimono closed.

The material slid down his back and off his body, down to the floor.

“Fucking fuck.” Kane had followed Isa’s advice to the letter when buying lingerie and he didn’t know how the scrap of material would fit Syren. But it did. The black thong was held together with satin straps and crisscross details at the center back. “I love your ass,” he whispered in reverence.

“You should. It’s yours.” Syren faced him and Kane made a sound like a whimper. He wore a sort of corset, only much tinier with the same satin straps and crisscross detail that fit around Syren’s waist.

“Like what you see, Marshal?”

Kane cleared his throat. “Fuck. I don’t even know what to say right now.” He removed the towel from around his waist and stepped forward. Syren rushed into his arms.

Kane fisted his hair and kissed him, thrusting his tongue into Syren’s mouth. His husband whimpered and latched on to his tongue, sucking it, the pull echoing in his balls. They rubbed against each other. So good. The heat guaranteed to blow the top of his head off. Kane bared his throat when Syren broke the kiss and nipped him there before dipping his head to flick his tongue against Kane’s nipples.

He held Syren’s head, tugged on his hair as Syren kissed his way down his body, tongue tracing his abs and then dipping into his navel before Syren fell to his knees. He cupped Kane’s balls, rolling them around in his palm as he swallowed him.

“Ugh.” Kane bucked, his cock grazing against Syren’s teeth. “Fuck, baby.”

Syren moaned around him and sucked hard, bobbing up and down. Kane used Syren’s hair like a leash, using it to pull him off and push him on his shaft. His grunts filled the room and he tried to stifle them, but he couldn’t, not with Syren’s wet mouth and throat working him over.

Syren hummed and Kane snarled a curse. “That fucking mouth. Want to stay like this.” He threw his head back. “Fucking your mouth, watching you on your knees.”

Syren looked up at him, nostrils flared, purple eyes wide and hazy, mouth full of cock.

“I love watching you like this,” he whispered. Syren’s lashes fluttered and Kane continued. “Love your mouth, love knowing no one’s ever fucked that throat but me.” He gripped Syren’s hair, held him still, and eased in and out slowly. “Love those sounds you make when my cock’s digging out your throat.”

Syren whimpered, his throat contracted, and Kane hissed.

“Shit.” His balls hurt already. “Gonna use you, baby. Gonna do it rough because you like it, don’t you? You want me to force my way down your throat until you gag, until it hurts so fucking good.” He rammed in, all the way, without waiting for an answer.

Syren gagged. His nails sank into Kane’s upper thighs then raked down. Kane bucked, shoving himself deeper. Syren made a wet sound. Kane pushed him down and down, until Syren’s nose was pressed to him, then he held him there. All the while they maintained eye contact. He saw how dilated Syren’s eyes were, how flushed his skin was. Kane pulled him off. Syren gasped for air then came back at Kane, taking him into his mouth again, sucking him deep again. As if he were starved for his cock. As if he needed it to live. Kane gave it to him. Syren was rough the second time around and pretty soon, Kane’s knees were noodles, buckling under the intense pleasure. Syren didn’t appear to want to release him and Kane had to yank him off.

“Fuck, you’re trying to kill me.” He picked up Syren and threw him on the bed. “Gimme that ass. I want to see that ass.”

Syren rose on his hands and knees and Kane slapped an ass cheek. Watched it bounce and ripple. He licked Syren from the dimples above his ass, down his crack, and circled his hole.

Kane sucked the strip of thong into his mouth while spanking Syren’s ass.

“Fuck.” Syren pushed back onto his face, pulling his ass cheeks apart.

Kane smacked his hand away, bit him on the ass.

Syren yelped.

Kane spread him, licked his hole, dipped inside while Syren rolled his hips in slow motion. Kane loved that. His man moved like a sensual creature, all slick and sexy. He ate Syren’s ass, using a finger to pull the thong to the side as he fucked that wrinkled hole, got it wet and open for him. Syren’s cries were muffled, but he reached behind and pushed Kane’s face into him as he humped.

“Jesus, Kane. Don’t fucking stop.”

Like he ever could. Kane hummed and pushed saliva-slick fingers into Syren, sinking deep. Syren trembled under him, body rocking. Kane twisted the fingers, grunting when Syren’s muscles contracted around him.

“Fucking tight, baby.” He licked around the fingers. “Hmm. Fuck my face.” He pulled away and laid down on his back, yanking Syren backward until he hovered over Kane, balls in his face. “Sit on my face.” Syren did, tugging on his balls, lifting up and down on Kane’s stiffened tongue. Kane held him steady, an ass cheek in each hand, and lowered him hard. Syren had one fist in his mouth and his cock in the other, grinding down on Kane’s face as his cock dripped pre-cum on Kane’s forehead and nose. Kane could come from just this alone, but he wanted to prolong it, wanted to wait.

“Kane. Kane,” Syren cried out. “Oh, God.”

“Lube. Get the lube,” Kane barked. He was out of control, couldn’t feel his limbs, and he needed to feel Syren. Wanted to feel him all over. “Now.”

Syren scooted backward and slicked Kane up with the lube he had yet to see. Syren flung the lube away and slammed down on Kane, panties pulled to the side.

“Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!” Kane couldn’t catch his breath, but Syren didn’t seem to notice, he was too busy slamming up and down on Kane’s cock. His hair covered his eyes as he bounced. His ass was a furnace, burning Kane to a crisp. He was making too much noise, he knew that, but damn.

He grabbed Syren by the hair, yanked him down, and took his mouth while thrusting up.

Syren met him, matched him, his movements fierce, out of control. Their teeth gnashed together, and Kane tasted blood. Syren’s nails raked down his chest, over his nipples.

“Jesus Christ.” What the fuck? Kane writhed.

“Harder.” Just the one word, all breathy and pained.

Kane dug his heels into the mattress and slammed up. Syren wailed, long and drawn out. His muscles squeezed Kane and cum poured from Syren, dripping onto Kane’s belly. Syren threw his head back and his hips sped up. Kane bit his tongue and came. The orgasm was an explosion in his balls and he filled Syren, never stopping until Syren collapsed onto his chest.

* * *

He woketo a dark bedroom and an empty bed. Kane checked the time on his phone. 1:41 a.m. He rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of briefs before going in search of Syren. He found him in Càtia’s bedroom, sitting cross-legged in the fluffy armchair in the corner, staring at their sleeping daughter.

“Hey.” Kane tiptoed in and knelt in front of Syren. “What’s going on?”

Syren didn’t speak for a while then he whispered, “Do you know she does this thing where she laughs in her sleep?” He smiled. “Deep belly laughs.” He rubbed his chest. “I think it’s my new favorite sound.”

“She’s having happy dreams.”

Syren pursed his lips and nodded. “Happy dreams.”

Kane picked Syren up in his arms. “Let’s let her sleep.” He brought Syren to their bedroom, placed him on the bed, and sat next to him. “You wanna tell me what’s going on with you?”

Eyes sad, Syren said, “My old life. It’s not going away, you know?”

Kane shook his head. “What do you mean?”

“What if the time comes when I have to be Faro again?” Syren asked. “How would you feel about it?”

“What do you mean? You’re always Faro. You’re always Marcos. You’re always you.” He cupped Syren’s chin. “Those men are you, and you are those men. Always.”

Syren looked away.

“You’re keeping something from me.”’ It wasn’t a question, but Syren nodded.

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to tell you. I don’t want this to change. I don’t want to lose us.” Syren’s voice broke. “I’ll tell you soon, I promise.”

Kane wanted to force Syren to confide in him, but he couldn’t. Syren had to open up to him all on his own. In the meantime. “Okay. I wanted to talk to you about something, anyway.”

“Okay.”

He laced their fingers. “I want you to make love to me.”

Syren frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I want you to take me. To top.”

Horror came and went on Syren’s face. “No.” He snatched his hand away. “No.”

Whoa. “What? Why no?”

“I’m not interested in doing that. Not ever.”

Kane stared at him, at the stubborn set of Syren’s jaw. “Again, I ask why not?”

“Why change things?” Syren asked. “I like things the way they are.”

“Well, I don’t.”

Syren gaped. “What?”

“I want you,” Kane said softly. “I want to feel you, I want us to share that. I’ve never done that with anyone, and I want to give you that.”

Syren blinked. “Never? Not even with—”

“Not even with Bailey.” He took Syren’s hand again. “I’ve laid my claim to you, in every way, but I’ve been waiting for you to do the same. I’ve been waiting for you to take charge, take the lead, and stake your claim on me.”

“But I—” Syren just stared at him, fear and reluctance in his eyes. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that I want you,” Kane said. “I shouldn’t have to beg my husband to claim me. I shouldn’t have to wait to see if you’ll love me, all of me, like I do you.”

Syren’s bottom lips trembled. He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“I want to give you something I’ve never shared with anyone else.” Kane’s voice went hoarse. “I want us to have that.”

Syren licked his lips. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I—” His face went blank and his voice hardened. “I’m not interested, and I don’t want to discuss it ever again.”

Kane didn’t have words. He just sat there, mouth hanging open. That reaction was nothing he’d anticipated. At all. The vehemence in Syren’s voice as he slammed the door on the gesture Kane just made was not what he’d expected.

Syren took a pillow off the bed and walked to the door. “I’ll be downstairs.”

“The hell you will.” Kane jumped up. “Get in the fucking bed. Now.”

Syren swung around. “Excuse me?”

“I didn’t stutter.” Kane glared at him. “Do you think you get to dropkick my fucking gesture then slink away like you were the one wronged?” He pointed to the bed. “Get in the bed. We’re sleeping together and I’ll be holding you all night.”

“Kane.”

“Neither of us sleeps well unless the other is there so no,” Kane said sharply. “You’ll be staying your ass in our bed. With me.” He stood with his arms folded as Syren huffed and made his way back to the bed. Kane turned off the lights and climbed in after him, pulling Syren close, burying his face in his husband’s nape.

Syren sighed and snuggled closer.

The discussion wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. Things were out of sync and Kane would damn sure find out why and fix it.