You Are Mine by Lucy Darling

1

Winnie

Islowly braid Faith’s hair, wanting to get it perfect for her. It’s strange that my fingers automatically know how to braid hair. They do it of their own accord without me even having to think about it. I notice that happens with certain things. There is no explanation for it. It’s maddening sometimes.

How can I know how to do all of these little things when I can’t even remember who I am? Even when it comes to something as simple as a name, there is nothing there. I only see darkness. It’s been that way for almost four months now. The doctor said my memory would come back to me, but nothing has.

“What color bow would you like?” Faith taps her finger against her lips, thinking about it. I’m not sure why I even asked. She’s going to pick pink. She always picks pink. Not that I can blame her. Who doesn’t love pink?

“Pink,” she finally says. I grab the bow off the table, clipping it into her hair.

“All done,” I tell her. She hops up, running over to take a look in the mirror. I love playing with her hair. The long locks go on forever. She has the kind of hair girls would die to have. She is as cute as a button. For some reason, though, her own mom can’t see that when she looks at Faith. She always seems to find something wrong.

“Your bows are the best.” She does a small spin. The yellow dress I found for her in the donations pile fans out around her.

“It’s time for your group circle read,” I remind her. Her face lights up. She loves books and would pick them over any toys. She and I can sit and read for hours, and she never grows bored. She has an endless imagination.

She skips over to me, surprising me when she drops a kiss on my cheek before she takes off across the giant room. She heads directly toward the blue rug all the kids are sitting on. It’s nice to see her fitting in. When she first got here, I could barely get her to talk. She was lost. I could relate to her because so was I.

“Hey.” Fawn drops down in the chair next to me. Her son Ace takes off toward the other kids to join them.

“Hi.” I give her a smile. Fawn is the guardian angel around here. She and her husband have made all of this possible. They’re the reason the organization has grown. I heard before they became involved that there were only a couple of small houses to take in women and children. But once Fawn got involved, she didn’t stop donating places and buildings until there was a spot for everyone. Her heart is giant. She’s the polar opposite of her husband.

“You want to do lunch? I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah. I wanted to talk to you too.” I check on Faith before I grab my bag and we leave the shelter. Two guards trail behind us. If her husband Roman isn’t near Fawn, then these two follow her around. I don’t blame Roman. Not after the story Fawn told me about how they came to be.

“Pizza or diner?” Fawn asks.

“Diner. I love their fries.”

“Me too.” We cross the street, heading into the diner. We snag one of the booths.

“You getting a root beer, Winnie?” Jill asks. She pulls her pen out of the front of her apron. Jill is always done up. She reminds me a lot of Dolly Parton.

“Yes, please.” It’s nice that I’m starting to feel like this could be home for me. I’m finally beginning to settle in here. Everything doesn’t seem as scary as it did before. I am lucky that I landed here. God only knows what would have happened if I hadn’t.

“I think I’ll do the same. I haven't had a root beer in forever,” Fawn says before placing the rest of our order.

“What did you want to talk about?” I ask, a bit worried. I’ve been at the shelter for a while already. “I’m trying to find a place. I know that…”

“Winnie. You can stay at the shelter forever for all I care. That’s kind of what I want to talk to you about.” She gives me a bright smile that has me relaxing. Even if I did have the money, I’m not sure I’d want to leave the shelter. I already feel so alone all the time. I can’t imagine not being around other people on a daily basis.

“Megan said you completed a bunch of job applications around town, but I wanted to see about you taking a spot at the shelter.” Holy crap. I have been filling out a ton of applications. I had to wait to get some form of identification, and I finally got it taken care of. I’m pretty sure Roman had something to do with that.

“You’re so good with the kids,” she keeps going, and I realize I haven’t responded.

“Yes. I would love that so much.” Even as I say the words, doubt starts to creep in on me.

“I asked you because I truly think you’re good with the children. If I didn’t, I would have helped you get a job somewhere around town. This is not a pity thing, Winnie.”

“How the heck do you do that?” I ask. She always seems to know what I’m thinking.

Fawn shrugs. “We’ve been hanging out a lot. I can read your moods. Speaking of. How are you feeling?”

I put my hand on my stomach. “Really good actually. They think I’m out of the woods, especially since I’m in my second trimester now.” I was so scared when I woke up in the hospital with no recollection of who I was and no memory of a life before. They told me I had been placed in a medically induced coma so that my body could heal. The blow I took to the back of my head was making my brain swell. So they did what they needed to do in order to save me.

From what the doctors told me, I was lucky to even be alive. Then they dropped the bomb on me that I was pregnant. It has all been more than overwhelming. Scary too. The doctors said I had a high chance of miscarrying with everything I’d been through. I guess my little jelly bean is a fighter because we both pulled through.

“I was thinking we should do a dual baby shower in a few months. It would be so much fun.”

“That does sound wonderful.” I barely get the words out, my throat going tight on me. I try to blink quickly to stop the tears, but it’s pointless. Everyone at the shelter has been so damn good to me. I don’t know where me and my little jelly bean would be if it weren’t for them.

“Winnie.” Fawn jumps up from her seat and proceeds to slide into the booth with me. She wraps her arm around me, pulling me into a side hug.

“I don’t know what I would have done without you. I’ll never be able to make all this up to you.” I try not to think about me losing my memory too much. Each day I wake up, hoping I’ll remember something, but I don’t dwell on it the way I did in the beginning.

It had consumed me when I first got out of the hospital. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want to remember who I am and where I’m from, but I have to hope in time it will come. So each day I put one foot in front of the other and try to make the best life for me and my jelly bean.

“Hey now. This isn't about making anything up. We’re friends. To be honest, I think you’re the one true friend I have, and as friends we’re both going to go through things, and we’ll help each other through it during that time. That's what best friends do.”

Her words make me cry harder. “I love you,” I tell her, and she starts crying with me.

“You girls okay? I swear the food will be out any second,” Jill teases us as she puts our sodas down on the table.

“It’s the baby hormones,” Fawn explains as she stands to go back to her side of the table. She pauses for a moment, looking toward the door. “I’m fine. You better not have told Roman I was crying. They’re happy tears.” She huffs at her security.

They give her a sheepish look, but one pulls out his phone, I’m sure to call Roman and let him know everything is okay. It wouldn’t surprise me if he were already on his way down here to check on Fawn himself.

It’s hard to not be jealous of what the two of them have. They are so in love with each other. Roman hangs on Fawn’s every word and treats her like she’s made of spun glass. It makes my heart ache for a love like that. It’s possible I did have it and I don’t remember.

Maybe he is out there looking for me? Or maybe he's the one that left me for dead…