First Kiss at Christmas by Lee Tobin McClain

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHRISTMAS DAYSTARTEDcold and overcast, with wind whipping the bare tree branches. Kayla’s mood matched the weather, but she was determined to fight through her feelings, if not for herself, then for those she was spending the day with.

Here in Paul and Amber’s place, it was warm and bright. The big Christmas tree still sported a few wrapped packages. Paul, Amber, and Davey had of course opened theirs in the early morning, as evidenced by the big stack of toys.

“Sarge got a ball that moves by itself!” Davey told Kayla, holding up a big green-and-yellow ball and rolling it toward the big bloodhound. The dog watched the ball’s movements from his spot by the fire.

Davey lowered his voice. “It’s for exercise, because he’s lazy and kind of fat.”

“Aw, that’ll be fun,” she said. “Is your mom in the kitchen?”

“Yeah, and Miss Meg, and Aunt Erica.”

“I’ll go help, and you can show me your gifts later, okay?”

“Sure!” He knelt and started examining the stack.

Kayla headed into the kitchen, crowded with three bustling women. Erica, carrying a tray of vegetables and dip to the table, gave her a one-armed hug.

“Smells great in here,” Kayla said. “I brought a pie and some cookies, as ordered. And I did cheese straws, too, for appetizers.”

“Yum. Put it down here.” Amber cleared a space on the crowded counter, then gave Kayla a hug. “Glad you’re here. You’re the last one.”

Kayla’s heart fell, just a little, and she realized a tiny part of it had hoped Tony and Jax would be coming, which was totally ridiculous. They’d left town, gone back home.

Not that she was feeling fond of Tony right now, anyway; in fact, she was furious and hurt. So it was especially annoying that she wanted to see him so badly.

“I was a little lazy this morning,” she said to Amber, by way of explaining her lateness. She put an arm around her mother, who was stirring something on the stove.

“Oh, my goodness, I was anything but lazy. Price of having a little one.” Amber put out a hand to stop Davey, who was running through the kitchen, followed by three dogs: Trey’s former K-9 German shepherd, and Erica’s goofy goldendoodle, and Sarge. “Slow down, honey. Why don’t you go in the TV room and hang out with the men?”

Davey looked thoughtful, clearly debating inside whether he would rather run through the house or be an honorary man.

“Take them these,” Amber said, and put Kayla’s plate of appetizers into the child’s hands. “Careful. Take them right to Daddy. He’ll know how to keep them away from the dogs.”

The chore—and the fragrance of the cheese straws—made Davey cooperate. The dogs followed him out of the kitchen, nudging to try to get first place.

“He’s so cute,” Erica said. “And such a good kiddo.”

“I hit the jackpot,” Amber said.

“If you ladies have this,” Kayla’s mother said, “I think I’ll go catch the rest of the game with the guys. Keep them from thinking a strict gender divide is right.”

“Go for it. We’ll eat in about forty-five minutes,” Amber said.

Paul stuck his head in the kitchen. “Anything I can do?”

Amber kissed him. “Just keep the drinks refilled. And I’ll need you to carry the turkey to the table in a bit.”

“Will do.”

“He’s making my slug of a husband look bad,” Erica said, her smile belying her words. “Actually, Trey worked all night and he’s watching Hunter, so I can’t complain.”

A little later, Davey wandered back into the room. “I wish Jax was here to play with.”

His words pierced Kayla’s heart. What was Jax doing today, for Christmas? Had he gotten the truck he’d wanted?

Amber took a quick look at Kayla, then brushed a hand over Davey’s head. “I know, honey, but you have to teach Hunter to play.”

“He’s too little,” Davey complained. He leaned on Amber’s leg, his eyes droopy. Of course. He probably hadn’t gotten much sleep.

“Tell you what, let’s set you up with a video until dinner’s ready,” Amber said. “You need to rest up for the parade this afternoon, anyway. Lots of your friends will be there, and you can show off your new bike.” She made a face at Kayla. “His grandparents got him the fanciest kid’s bike I’ve ever seen.”

“Okay.” Davey allowed himself to be led out of the room.

“Help me check this turkey,” Erica said, beckoning Kayla over to the oven.

Kayla studied it doubtfully. “Did you get the kind with the pop-up thermometer?”

“No, and I should have. I hear you’re supposed to wiggle the leg—” Which she did, using an oven mitt. “Um... I don’t know, maybe another twenty minutes and we’ll take it out.”

“Sounds good. Now, what else can I do?”

“Split these brussels sprouts and toss them in some olive oil. We’ll put them in as soon as the turkey comes out. I forgot about them.”

“Sure thing.” Kayla set to work. She didn’t need to mope about being single on Christmas. The fact that she and Mom were spending the holiday here meant she didn’t have to endure a litany of distant relatives’ questions about why she was still single.

Of course, Mom had brought Finn, the man she’d started dating this fall. She’d kept it low key until now; Kayla had barely seen the man. But today, he was invited to a holiday gathering.

Just maybe, Mom had found love. And Kayla was happy for her, she truly was.

Lots of people were entirely alone on the holiday. She needed to be thankful for Mom, and for Erica and Amber and her other friends.

I wish Jax were here, too. And his uncle.

She finished chopping the brussels sprouts, then found some fresh garlic to add in. She drizzled on olive oil and ground in fresh pepper and sea salt.

“Those look perfect.” Amber had come back into the kitchen, and she put an arm around Kayla for a quick squeeze. “Now, can you do the same with some broccoli?”

“Of course.” She narrowed her eyes at Amber. “You’re not trying to keep me busy, are you?”

“It’s the best thing,” Amber said quietly. “I really am sorry you can’t be with Tony and Jax today.”

“It’s okay,” Kayla said, her watery eyes belying her words. She swallowed hard. “I’m grateful for what I have, and that includes the invitation for Mom and me to spend Christmas here.”

“We’re so glad you came.” Amber patted her shoulder. “Now, I have to get that turkey out.”

Things got busy then, with Paul coming into the kitchen, and then Trey and Davey and Hunter. Amber put Paul and Davey to work setting the table, and Trey got the job of filling water glasses. “Just about my skill level,” he joked.

Kayla slid the trays of vegetables into the hot oven to roast, and helped with the table setting and the rolls, and finally everything was on the table. They said grace, and dug in, and everything was delicious. Kayla could almost forget about Tony and Jax.

Almost.

She forced herself to chat and help serve food and, afterward, to take control of the cleanup. They were preparing to leave for the parade when the sound of a dog barking just out front caught everyone’s attention. Especially the dogs, who started barking and rushed to the front door.

“That’s Paddington!” Davey yelled, and rushed toward the door.

Paul followed him, stopping to glance out the front window. “He’s right.”

Kayla put down the dish she’d been carrying, her stomach freezing into ice. Tony and Jax were here. Why?

TONYLISTENEDTOhis nephew’s happy laughter and reflected that it was a good thing he’d gotten Jax a new bike for Christmas. It couldn’t compare to Davey’s pricey model, sleek with enough chrome to satisfy a car fanatic. But Jax’s bike was sturdy, had training wheels, and gave Jax a way to participate in the parade. Jax had insisted he wanted to walk to the parade with Davey, so they’d dropped their bags at Victory Cottage and hurried right over to Paul and Amber’s place.

The whole group ended up walking together to the parade. Davey and Jax were at the front of the crowd, pushing their bikes, Davey explaining about the bike decorating station.

The eager expression on Jax’s face made Tony glad they’d decided to come back.

They’d had a nice visit with his brother and sister, had opened gifts and eaten breakfast together early this morning. But Tony hadn’t been able to stop thinking.

He’d spent the past months feeling guilty about Stella and overwhelmed with becoming Jax’s full-time caregiver. But after the conversation with his brother, and the trip to the park where Stella had died, it was as if a fog had cleared. He could see into the future now, a little at least, and he wanted Kayla to be a part of it.

The trouble was, he’d hurt her badly. Would she accept his apology?

Things weren’t looking great so far; Kayla seemed to make a point of being far away from Tony. Once they’d reached the park, she stayed beside Erica and Hunter until they got swept away to ride in a big sleigh with other parents and small children. Then she huddled near Paul and Amber.

Fortunately for Tony, that hiding spot was doomed to disappear, too. Amber patted Jax’s shoulder and then looked at Tony. “We’ll take the boys over to the decorating station.”

“I’ll go, too,” Kayla said.

Amber gave her a meaningful frown. “No need,” she said, and hustled the kids off in the direction of a big, tented structure, Paul walking beside them.

Was Kayla afraid he was going to jump down her throat again? Why wouldn’t she be, when that was what he’d done the last time they’d seen each other?

Kayla turned toward her mother, standing beside a tall, well-dressed man who’d been introduced as Finn. Clearly, Kayla wanted to cling to the last remaining barrier between herself and Tony.

Find something else to do,he willed Meg and Finn.

“Will you mind terribly if I head home?” Kayla’s mom said. “I think I feel a migraine coming on.”

“Oh no, that’s not good!” Kayla said. “I’ll come with you.”

“No, dear. Finn will take care of me. You stay and enjoy the parade.” She winked at Tony, turned, and hurried off toward the parking area, Finn beside her.

Wow. His intentions toward Kayla must be obvious. And Meg seemed to be on his side. That was a little surprising, but good news.

And there was no time to waste, since Jax could return, needing him, at any moment. “Can we talk?” he asked Kayla.

A blast of music drowned out her answer, coming from a float with members of the high school band. They all seemed to be tuning their instruments at once.

He reached out to take her hand, but she kept her own close to her sides. Okay. So she wasn’t going to make this easy. That was her right. He beckoned her over to a bench that was set back from the parade route and slightly sheltered by some bushes. “Do you mind sitting with me for a minute? I need to talk to you.”

“O-kaaay,” she said. She followed him and sat down on the very edge of the bench.

Nope, not easy. “Listen, Kayla, I want to apologize. I should never have accused you of causing Jax to be abducted by that man. I was wrong to even think such a thing, when all you were doing was trying to help.”

She studied him, nodded, and looked away. “Okay.”

What was that supposed to mean?

But he could read it well enough. She’d accepted his apology, but was still hurt. “You’re such a good person,” he went on, feeling his way. “I should have known you’d never do anything but help a child. You’ve meant the world to Jax.”

“He’s a great kid,” she said.

It was the same generic thing she’d say about any child. And she still wasn’t looking at Tony.

This wasn’t going the way Tony had hoped. He’d pictured the whole scenario with Kayla being her usual sunny self, but she wasn’t. She was distant and seemed uncomfortable.

He was the one in the wrong, so it was up to him to keep the conversation going and to steer it in the direction he’d planned. He squared his shoulders and went for it. “I hope I didn’t ruin my chances,” he said.

“Of what?”

Game time. “Of a relationship with you.”

The Christmas carols cut off, and a man’s jolly voice came over the loudspeaker. “Ho ho ho, everyone, we’ll start in about fifteen minutes. Kids, let’s get lined up.”

Fifteen minutes was all he had. Amber had texted him that she and Paul would take the kids over to where the parade started, but he couldn’t expect more than that.

“You said you needed to back off, and that it wasn’t going to work.” She met his eyes, lifting one eyebrow. “You texted me that I shouldn’t try to get in touch.”

“Yeah.” He looked across the crowd and then back at her. “Believe it or not, I did that for you. I thought I wasn’t a worthy person, thought I’d screw up and let you down. And I might, but... I’m starting to make peace with what happened. To hope for more.”

Kayla looked at him, and for the first time, there was a faint smile on her face. “I’ll always be your friend,” she said. “And a friend to Jax, as well.”

So that was the way it was going to be, then: the dreaded friend zone. Well, it was what he deserved. But he looked at her beautiful face and knew he couldn’t give up; he had to try harder. “Is that all you’ll be?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” She looked troubled. “I don’t understand what you’re offering.”

The speaker was giving more instructions. Children shouted. A red-suited Santa Claus walked around the crowd, throwing candy.

This wasn’t the perfect location for what he had in mind, but suddenly, he realized what would be the right spot. “Hang on,” he said. He took out his phone and texted Amber, making sure she was okay with getting Jax started in the parade.

She was.

“Will you take a little walk with me?” he asked Kayla.

“But...”

“I want to ask you something,” he said, “but it’s too noisy here.” If that wasn’t a hint of what he planned, nothing was.

But Kayla’s face didn’t brighten. “I do want to see the parade,” she said.

“This will be quick.” It shouldn’t be, but if she was going to say no, then the parade would provide a way to escape the awkwardness.

Think positive.

They walked a block to the Coastal Kids school. The playground was deserted. A light snow was starting to fall.

“Do you remember when we met for the first time?” he asked her.

“Of course. I thought you were kidnapping Jax.” The corner of her mouth turned up, just a little.

“And I thought you were nosy and interfering,” he said. “And cute.”

Her cheeks went pink. She looked over at the school as if she might want to escape there.

“I was a mess then,” he went on. “I’m still a mess, but not as much. And you’re a big part of why.”

“Why you’re a mess, or why you’re better?” There was a teasing look in her eyes now.

“Why I’m better. Even though we started off on the wrong foot, you didn’t hold it against me. You helped with Jax, and accepted me as a volunteer in your classroom when I was pretty bad at the job.”

She let out a little laugh. “You improved quickly,” she said.

“All I had to do was to watch you. You’re great with the kids. Great with Jax.”

“Well.” She sounded uncomfortable and looked off in the direction of the parade route. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“No.” He was sweating despite the cold. “I want to tell you how much I care for you. I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but I feel like I know your heart. I know my own heart, too, now.”

She studied him without speaking.

“You’re a good person, Kayla, and you make me want to be a better man.”

He guided her to sit on the bottom of the sliding board and then knelt in front of her. “You make me want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that something you’d even consider?”

KAYLACLAPPEDHERhand over her mouth and stared at the man kneeling in front of her. Was she dreaming?

Around them, the snow was heavier now, big wet flakes. From the park came the distant sound of music and an announcer, but the little playground felt like a snow-globe world of their own.

“I know it’s a bad time to ask, right after I was so mean to you. Right after you saw for yourself the trouble that’s following me and Jax around.”

Kayla’s head was spinning. She tried to bring herself back to earth. “The man who tried to abduct Jax is in police custody, right? You’re safe now?”

He nodded, still kneeling in front of her. “We’re so lucky Jax wasn’t more traumatized.” Then he frowned. “But that brings up another challenge to this marriage proposal. Jax is always going to be with me. If you marry me, you get him, too.”

He’d said marriage proposal. He’d said if you marry me,as if the outcome was in doubt.She wasn’t dreaming. He was proposing marriage.

“It’s a huge plus that he’s crazy about you, but it’s also a lot to ask.”

He thought Jax would be a dealbreaker? She shook her head. “I love Jax. He’s a wonderful part of the package.”

Her insecurities surged up, suddenly and hard. Was he proposing so that Jax would have a mother?

After all, she wasn’t the girl who got the sexy, handsome guy. She was the helpful friend type, always single. The one who got invited to the party so she could babysit the kids. The one with the crooked spine. No way could a guy like Tony have feelings for her.

And then she realized how ludicrous this situation was. She was considering herself the girl who’d always be single, in the midst of a marriage proposal.

Her spine wasn’t curved anymore, and even if it had been, that didn’t make her less deserving of happiness. She squared her shoulders. “Are you asking me so that Jax can have a mother?” she demanded. “And stand up. You’re getting soaked kneeling on the ground. Come sit on the bench with me.”

She was being bossy, but hey, she was a preschool teacher. It was in the job description, which fit her to a T, and she wasn’t going to apologize for who she was anymore.

His eyes narrowed, and then he got to his feet and took her hand and led her to the bench. “Kayla, I’m proposing because I love you. You’re beautiful and—”

She raised a hand, waved the compliment off. “Don’t kid a kidder.”

“I’m not!” He looked shocked. “Have you looked at yourself? Your hair, your face, your figure...you’re the whole package, and you don’t have to doll yourself up like some women to look good. But it’s more than that, way more.”

She tucked that description aside to think about later and studied his face, trying to gauge his sincerity.

“You’re absolutely kind and reliable. I don’t have to guess whether you’re in a good mood or going to be willing to help, because you always are.”

“You make me sound like a Sunday school teacher,” she said, but her heart was lifting a little.

He smiled and slowly shook his head. “You could be one, and that’s not a bad thing. But I have feelings about you that are way different from Sunday school feelings. Sometimes when I look at you, I’m so attracted that I can barely breathe. That knockout figure, that innocence...” He put his arm around her, making her shiver. “When I found out I was the first to kiss you, I was blown away.”

She laughed nervously. “I felt like such a loser.”

“The guys who didn’t date you before were losers, but it’s my win,” he said. “Or at least, it was my win to be your first kiss. I hope I can be your first...everything.”

She knew what he meant, and the thought of a wedding night, of a romantic honeymoon with Tony...her heart started to pound faster. “You would be,” she said, and stole a glance at him.

He brought her hand to his lips. “I would love that,” he said. “But even more than that, I’d want to be there for you. Every day, through everything. More kids, if you want them. Kayla, I want to grow old with you, but you’re killing me here. Is there even a chance you’ll marry me?”

She felt his strong arm around her, the warmth of his body beside her, and she knew she wanted that, too, for the rest of her life. And she believed him, she realized. She believed she could be loved, and she believed Tony did love her. Her anxious, ugly-duckling, middle-school self should see her now.

Only she felt somehow...kindly toward that younger self. Looked at her with compassion. And watched her fade away.

Then she turned to the man she loved. “Yes, Tony,” she said. “I love you and Jax, so much. I would be honored to marry you.”