First Kiss at Christmas by Lee Tobin McClain
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TONYFINALLYGOTJax into his jacket and headed out of the bookstore. The Christmas event had been really fun, for kids and adults alike.
Kayla had been adorable, dressed in a Mrs. Claus outfit with steel-rimmed glasses on her nose. She’d read a story in varied, expressive voices and passed out packets of what she called reindeer food. The kids obviously loved her, Jax as much if not more than the others. She was so open and natural with children, it was no wonder.
She’d not paid special attention to Tony, giving him the same impersonal smile she gave the other parents, and then she’d turned and started gathering her things, along with the other storytellers. He knew he shouldn’t wait for her. He should head home with Jax.
He should especially go home because of how much he wanted to stay. He couldn’t get Kayla’s kiss out of his mind. Couldn’t forget what a help she’d been when Jax and Paddington had gone into the water. His feelings were heating up faster than he could control them.
Bottom line: he wanted to be with her.
But look at how he’d let Jax fall into the bay. Just like with Stella, Tony hadn’t protected Jax.
He’d done so well at fulfilling his role in the military, but when it came to the interpersonal stuff, especially when it came to family, he was a failure. No way could he get involved in Kayla’s life. The risk of letting her down was too great.
As they walked out, Evan Stone joined them. He was wearing his uniform. He’d read the kids a Christmas story with a police officer at its center. “I’m glad I saw you. Do you have a minute?”
“Sure,” Tony said. He glanced down at Jax. “Run up as far as the snow pile where Davey’s playing,” he said, pointing.
Jax did, happily, and was soon tossing snow with Davey and a couple other kids while the parents watched, laughing and talking. For the hundredth time, Tony felt grateful for how far Jax had come.
“What’s up?” he asked Evan.
“This probably isn’t a big deal, but you might want to have Kayla take down that social media post with Jax in it,” he said. “She posts pictures from the Coastal Kids school events sometimes, and even though the audience is limited, it’s not real secure.”
Tony frowned. “I tend to stay away from social media. I didn’t realize she was posting pictures of the kids.”
“I mean, he’s just in a couple of the group shots, but if someone searched pages related to the town, they might be able to see him.”
Tony took that in. “Thanks. I’ll talk to her.” In fact, that would give him an excuse to have a conversation with her. Maybe he’d run back to the shop and talk to her now.
He looked toward Jax and saw that some of the kids and parents were leaving. Only Paul remained, supervising Davey and Jax. So Tony’s conversation with Kayla would have to wait.
A large black SUV pulled up beside where the kids were playing. The window opened. There was a familiar bark.
Then everything happened at once.
“Paddington!” Jax cried, and ran toward the vehicle.
“Jax! Stop!” Tony took off, his heart a pounding fireball in his chest.
A man dressed in dark clothes got out of the SUV and came around toward Jax.
“Hey!” Paul had been squatting, helping Davey with his shoe, but now he gave Davey an abrupt order and then ran toward Jax and the man.
As for Tony, he was running as fast as his legs would carry him, faster than he’d ever run in his life. “Jax! Get back here!”
Jax looked over his shoulder, eyes wide, and Tony realized he never yelled at Jax. But he was yelling now. “Come here! Right now!”
He could hear Evan Stone running behind him. How could this have happened so quickly? When had Kayla posted those pictures?
He was closer now, trying to take in what he was seeing. Why was Paddington in some stranger’s passenger seat, paws out the window, big head lifted to sniff the air?
The dark-clad man, unlike Tony, was smiling as he beckoned to Jax, encouragement on his face. He said something and then picked Jax up, put him in the back seat, closed the door, and ran around to the driver’s side.
Paul reached the vehicle and tried to open the rear passenger door. Tony was close enough to hear the locks click.
The car roared off.
Paul had his phone out, snapping pictures of the license plate. Tony could hear Evan shouting into his phone.
“Text those to the police,” Tony barked at Paul.
“On it,” Paul said. Davey ran to him, and he put an arm around the boy as he spoke into the phone.
Tony took off after the rapidly receding taillights, his pumping arms and legs fueled by utter panic.
Then there was a squeal of brakes. Less than a block away, the SUV swerved, apparently to avoid another vehicle, and then there was the sickening sound of metal hitting metal.
“Jax!” Tony ran faster as horrible images flashed through his head. No, no, no, no.
He reached the vehicle just as the man in black half climbed, half tumbled out, looking dazed.
He was holding a gun.
KAYLAWASHALFWAYto her car, carrying her supplies, when she heard a commotion down the street. Screeching tires, a crash, shouts, and loud, deep barking.
She heard children’s high, scared voices, dropped her things, and took off toward the chaos.
There were some shouts and a struggle on the ground—it looked like Tony was wrestling some guy—and then Paul came up from behind and stepped on the man’s gun-holding hand, hard. The man groaned and let go, and Tony decked him into unconsciousness.
From the wrecked SUV, which had apparently hit a lamp post, she heard more barking. She rushed over, peered in a back window, and saw Paddington’s big blocky head with two little arms around it. She tried to open the rear door—stuck—then hurried around to the driver’s side. She climbed in and knelt between the two front seats, reaching back for Jax.
“Come on, buddy, let’s get you out of here,” she said, grasping him by the armpits and tugging.
“Paddington was helping me not be scared,” he said, clinging to the dog. “But he bumped against the door when we crashed.”
“We’ll get him out as soon as we get you out,” she said. “I promise. Let go.”
Reluctantly, Jax let go of the dog and Kayla eased him gently into the front seat and then out of the car just as Tony approached.
Jax saw him and burst into tears, and Tony took him from her and held him tight.
A police car pulled behind the SUV, sirens blaring for a moment then going quiet, lights flashing. From a block away she heard another siren, probably an ambulance. The noise made Paddington lift his head and howl.
Kayla found a way to unlock the SUV’s rear doors, did so, and then turned off the vehicle. She hurried around to the outside and opened the door, holding Paddington firmly by his collar. She ran her hands over the dog and winced when one of them came away red.
There were people talking all around them now. Kayla saw that Tony had Jax, and Paul had Davey. So the kids were accounted for. Still holding Paddington’s collar, she looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.
Sylvie was pushing herself to a sitting position. Sylvie? Why was she here?
An EMT was working on an enormous man who lay silent next to her.
Kayla pulled off her belt, hooked it through Paddington’s collar, and walked the dog over. “Sylvie, what happened?”
The woman was breathing hard, her eyes flickering from Jax and Tony, to the black-clad man now being read his Miranda rights, to the unconscious man beside her. “Long story. Complicated.”
It definitely seemed that way. Kayla asked the first question that occurred to her. “Why is Paddington here?”
“Bait for Jax, I think.” Sylvie blew out a breath, her eyes big and scared.
Kayla sat down on the cold sidewalk beside the woman. “Are you okay? Can I do something for you?” She could see that Sylvie’s arm was scraped.
“I’m fine.” Sylvie waved away her concern, opened her mouth, closed it, and then started talking. “You know Jax witnessed his mother being killed?”
Kayla nodded, her heart lurching.
“Well, the killer realized that Jax could identify him, so he came looking for him. At least, that’s what I’ve been able to piece together.” She turned toward the EMT who was working on the big man still unconscious on the ground. “Is he going to be all right?”
“We’ll get him to the hospital as soon as he’s stabilized. Looks like he took a pretty solid hit from that SUV. He’s lucky it didn’t run over him.”
“He basically dove in front of it,” Sylvie said. Her chin quivered.
One of the police officers then came over and knelt beside Sylvie. “I need to ask you a few questions,” he said.
Kayla backed off, head swirling with the confusing events, and led Paddington over to Tony and Jax.
“Paddington!” Jax said, and rushed to hug the dog, who licked his face.
Kayla handed the makeshift leash to Tony. “I think he’ll need a vet visit,” she said. “He’s bleeding from the shoulder.”
“Thanks.” Tony took the leash, looked away from her, and then looked back. “Why did you post that social media picture of Jax?”
Of all the things he could have said, that wasn’t what she’d expected. “What?”
“Evan told me to tell you to take down the pictures, since Jax could be identified. But it’s too late. He already was.”
Kayla clapped a hand to her mouth. “That’s how this guy found him?”
“Looks that way.” His face was closed, his voice grim.
“I’m so sorry, Tony,” she said, her stomach churning. “But...you signed the release form, right? Surely you wouldn’t have done that if there was a chance—”
“I didn’t,” he said flatly.
“I’m pretty sure you did. It was in the paperwork you did early on.”
He threw up his hands. “You may be right, but I was scrambling at that point. You should have known better than to give me that form then. You should never have posted the pictures.”
He turned away and picked up Jax.
“I’m so sorry!” Her whole chest hurt at the thought that she could have been the cause of this nightmare.
He waved a hand, not looking at her. “Look, I’m sure this was more my fault than yours. It was me who didn’t stick close enough to him tonight. But just... I need a break. It’s not going to work out between us.”
“You...what?” With police barking orders and spectators talking and lights flashing around them, he was dumping her?
She opened her mouth to say...what? What could she say when she felt so numb?
He turned away, Jax in his arms, urging Paddington to walk beside them.
Even if he wasn’t blaming her entirely for what had happened, the message was clear: he didn’t want to be with her.
MUCHLATERTHATNIGHT, Tony finally got back to Victory Cottage. He helped Paddington out of the car and tried to guide him inside, but the big dog whined and strained toward the car’s back door.
Loyal creature. He didn’t want to leave Jax.
The emergency vet had examined Paddington, tended to his wound, and assured Tony that he would heal up just fine. On the way home, once Jax had fallen asleep, Tony had called the therapist’s emergency number and told her what had happened. She’d listened, asked Tony to describe Jax’s behavior after the incident, and said that he’d be fine, no need for an extra appointment. She’d talk to them after Christmas.
He hadn’t had the heart to tell her that they wouldn’t be here.
The thought arose that Dr. Liz was much better than the therapist they’d had back in Filmore. Jax had really connected with her and her dog. Was Tony doing the wrong thing, taking Jax away from the counselor who’d helped him?
Probably. He was screwing up so much that his head spun with it.
He had no idea what was right, but he had to get out of here. Too many bad things were happening. Too much danger, too much confusion. So he’d stick to his decision and leave.
Once he’d put Jax to bed, with Paddington sleeping heavily on a blanket beside the boy’s bed, and taped up cardboard where the intruder had broken a window to abduct the dog, Tony started packing.
He was still shaking from the risk to Jax. Still berating himself for not protecting his nephew better, and then for his genius move of blaming everything on Kayla.
A phone call from Evan Stone had let him know that the incident tonight had probably stemmed from a complicated series of links to Stella’s death. Nothing to do with anything Kayla had posted on some social media site.
Tony had screwed up, big time. The only thing he’d done right was to blurt out something to end things with Kayla, for her sake.
His father’s dying words echoed around and around his head. You’re in charge of the family now. They’re your responsibility.
And he’d promised he’d take care of them.
He’d failed miserably with Stella, of course. He was almost used to the guilt and shame of that. He’d had a scare of a similar, but much milder sort when Jax and Paddington had gone into the bay.
Tonight, he’d almost lost Jax.
What if Jax had been taken, had been killed? The images evoked by his thoughts squeezed a vise around his chest and sent horror jolting through his body. He half ran into Jax’s room, sat down on the edge of his bed, and brushed a hand over his solid, safe limbs.
He made himself take deep breaths. Jax was okay, physically, at least. Who knew what psychological ramifications would emerge from what he’d been through?
At least Tony had pulled away from Kayla. He’d hurt her, he knew, but it was nothing compared to the disaster that would strike if they got involved.
A car pulled up outside and Tony tensed, hurried downstairs. He didn’t own a weapon—didn’t think it wise with Jax in the house—but he armed himself with a baseball bat and went to the door.
Evan Stone. He put the bat down and opened the door.
“Just wanted to let you know everything’s under control,” he said. “The man who tried to abduct Jax is in the hospital, but we have a twenty-four-hour guard on him. We spoke with Sylvie and the other man on the scene, and we’ll interview them again tomorrow. They’re tied in with this somehow.” He frowned at the cardboard-covered window, then looked at the open boxes in the room. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah.” Tony didn’t have it in him to do a long explanation. Didn’t even know what he’d say. “I’ll leave a forwarding address.”
“What’s Kayla think of your moving out?”
Tony shrugged.
Evan tilted his head to one side, his forehead wrinkling. “You’re letting that go?”
For her, Tony thought. He’d screwed up too badly. She deserved better. He shrugged again. “Complications,” he said. “Look, I gotta get going.”
Evan studied him for a long moment. “Stay in touch,” he said.
Tony nodded and watched as Evan went to his car and drove away. He wouldn’t stay in touch. He needed to make a clean break.
He’d go back to Filmore where he belonged, resume his life there, take up the VA job. Jax was better now and could be settled in a day care. They’d be near Tony’s brother and sister.
It would be okay. Safer. Less confusing.
He finished packing, carried loads out to the car, and finally picked up Jax and led Paddington to the car. He really should leave the dog here, find another home for him, but he couldn’t do that to Jax. Couldn’t do it to Paddington, not after he’d been a better protector of Jax than Tony was.
He eased Jax into his booster seat, helped the injured dog climb in beside the boy, and started driving.
SYLVIEWASSTRESSEDand angry, even devastated...but she still didn’t want to disappoint the children just three days before Christmas. She’d agreed to help at the party to distribute the gifts they’d wrapped, and she was going to show up and do her best. Especially since Kayla had backed out. Primrose was helping, and the elderly twins, but they needed someone agile enough to get up and down, over and over again, distributing the presents to the individual kids.
She tried to stay focused on the positive project as she walked to the restaurant where the party was to take place. But the events of last night kept coming back to her.
She’d never forget the terror of seeing Jax—and Big Bobby—at such terrible risk. Big Bobby, who was Jax’s father.
She couldn’t believe that Bobby’s request for her to watch over Jax had been based on a lie. Not just a lie, but a long-lasting deceit. He’d concealed the fact that he’d fathered a child with another woman, and no doubt many times when he hadn’t come home to Sylvie, he’d been visiting Jax. And Stella, too. Sylvie didn’t want to think ill of the dead, but she had to figure that Stella had allowed Bobby to remain involved, both romantically and financially, in her life and Jax’s.
Bobby had never wanted to have a child with Sylvie, and so she’d given up her chance of that. It turned out he hadn’t stuck to the same rules with the other woman in his life. She felt like a fool.
And yet, maddeningly, she was also worried about him. He’d been taken to the local hospital last night as a precaution, after diving in front of his son’s car and sustaining a hard blow to the head that had knocked him out for a time. Due to his size, there was concern about his health and his heart. She’d called the hospital to check on his status but hadn’t visited. She didn’t know whether he’d been released or not, and she wasn’t going to call him. She was still too angry.
The web of lies he’d woven, and involved her in, could have led to a child’s abduction and worse.
She pushed open the door to the back room at DiGiorno’s, and the sound of excited kids’ voices and Christmas music swept away some of her dark thoughts. It looked like about fifteen kids, ranging in age from two to ten, clustered around the tall Christmas tree or ran wildly around the room. Parents chatted and scolded and sampled cookies and punch from a table along the side of the room.
Primrose drove toward her on her scooter. “Thank you for coming, dear. I wasn’t sure you would after what happened last night. Are you all right?”
“Mostly.” She could tell the woman wanted to know more. “Jax is fine, and the man who tried to abduct him is in police custody. So we can hope that all’s well that ends well.”
Primrose put a hand on Sylvie’s arm. “How are you, dear? I can tell you’re upset.”
Sylvie forced a smile. “Thank you for caring. I’ll be fine, eventually.”
A loud “ho ho ho” came from the back of the room, and there was Santa, with a bag of gifts—the gifts they’d wrapped. And Santa was... Yes. It was the pastor, padded and fake-bearded, enthusiastically opening his bag to spill out enough brightly wrapped gifts for all the kids.
Sylvie went to help distribute the gifts, and the pastor winked at her. His simple, open smile touched her heart. After years of being involved with a complex, difficult man, she appreciated Steve’s goodness and simplicity.
The party went on, and it was a balm to Sylvie’s wounded soul. No matter her personal problems, children would always love gifts and Santa. Moreover, seeing these kids interacting happily with their parents reminded her that not everyone had the same sort of miserable issues she’d had with her own mother. These parents were comfortable receiving help, and the committee who’d wrapped the gifts were happy to give it. No judgment involved.
Her phone buzzed, but she ignored it. She couldn’t think of anyone who had her number that she’d want to be in touch with. She helped some of the little ones to open boxes and figure out how to operate their toys, then walked around picking up napkins and cups and half-eaten platefuls of cake.
“Sylvie.” The deep voice, as familiar as her own, made her heart skip a beat. She turned, and sure enough, there was Bobby at the door of the room. Wearing the same clothes as yesterday and with a full day’s growth of beard, a bandage on his head, he definitely looked the worse for wear.
What was he doing here?
He beckoned to her and she hurried to him, not wanting him to come in and disturb the party’s mood.
“How did you find me?” she demanded.
“There’s an app on your phone,” he said.
Sylvie’s jaw almost dropped. “There is? Who put it there?”
He didn’t answer, probably because the answer was obvious. “Sylvie, we need to talk.”
She shook her head. “I’m busy doing something I agreed to do. I don’t want to talk to you. You lied to me and betrayed me.”
“Little Bobby’s in custody,” he said, “here in town, for abducting Jax. We need to get him out and then go to Filmore. I think Jax’s uncle took him back there.”
That statement was wrong on so many levels. “Little Bobby needs to be in custody. That’s what happens to criminals. And Jax needs to be with his uncle.”
Bobby shook his head. “Bobby’s my son.”
“So is Jax!” Sylvie lifted her hands, palms up. “That doesn’t give Little Bobby immunity. And besides, he abducted a child who turns out to be his brother, or half brother at least. What do you think he was going to do with Jax, buy him a Christmas present?”
“He wouldn’t have hurt the boy.”
Sylvie wasn’t so sure. “Well, if he thought Jax had witnessed him shooting Stella—”
“Don’t.” Bobby closed his eyes like he couldn’t stand the picture she’d painted. “And don’t be mad. We have to work this out.”
She opened her mouth to protest.
“For Jax’s sake,” he said.
He was going for her soft spot, but Sylvie shook her head. “Jax is yours. Not that I think you should raise him, but he’s definitely not my responsibility.” Even as she said it, she felt awful. She didn’t want to care about Jax, but she did. He was an innocent victim.
“I should have done things differently,” Bobby said. “Taken charge of the boy, rather than leaving him to Stella and her family.”
“No. Leave him alone.” Sylvie crossed her arms. “You haven’t been involved or helped so far. Just leave him to his uncle and these good people. If you don’t, I’ll...well, I’ll do something.” If she tried, she could pull together enough evidence to convince the authorities that Big Bobby wasn’t a suitable guardian for a child, even if he was the biological father. She’d do it, too.
Big Bobby must have seen that resolve in her eyes, and he waved a hand. “You’re right, it’s not as if I’m going to sue for custody. I just, well, I want to see him sometimes, make sure he’s safe.” He reached out, took her hand. “And I want you back home.”
He looked shaky, pale. Sweat beaded on his forehead.
She took his hand, pulled him to a bench in the hall lobby, and sat down. There was no easy way to say it other than to just blurt it out. “Bobby, it’s over. I’ll send someone to get my things, or you let me know when I can come pack up.”
He stared at her as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Because of something that happened five years ago? A two week affair?”
“Because you made a dupe of me, lied to me, and...well, because I want something different. I don’t like all the secrecy and crime in Filmore.”
He looked away, his breathing hard and audible.
She forced herself to say the rest of it. “I’m moving on. It’s time for me to move on.”
He turned back toward her. “I took you off the streets.”
She softened. “You did.” She squeezed his huge, weathered hand. “I’ll always be grateful that you did. But... I feel like I’ve paid that debt.” As she said it, she knew it was true. She’d kept house for him and given him the physical affection he needed, listened to his complaints, rubbed his aching back. And it had been willingly done, but now...now, things were different. She was different. She wanted to start new. “I’m sorry, Bobby, but it’s time. I want a new life, and I’m starting one here.” She felt something roll down her cheek and realized she was crying.
Bobby looked at her, really looked at her, as if he was trying to read her. Then he shook his head and sighed. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. “I always knew this day would come.”
He had? Sylvie had always assumed she’d stay forever with Bobby.
He stared at the floor for a long moment, then spoke. “You’re too good for me, Sylvie, but I thank you for all you’ve given me, and I’m sorry for the wrong I did.” He kissed her forehead and pushed himself to his feet.
There was so much to say, and yet there was nothing to say. She looked at his weathered face, his huge burly body, the dark eyes she’d fallen in love with. She bit her lip. Should she change her mind?
But what she’d said was true: it was time for her to move on, out of her past and into a new future.
He nodded once, turned, and limped out, his big body lurching, his shoulders square.
She watched him until he was out of sight, headed into the dark and cold. Wondered how long he could make it in the world he lived in, which wasn’t kind to age and weakness. But what she felt for him now was what someone would feel for a wayward father, and it wouldn’t be right to share his home and his bed.
She sat for a long time, as the noises of the happy Christmas party blared around behind her. She was too spent to think.
A while later, someone came and sat beside her. The pastor, still in his Santa outfit, handed her a bunch of napkins to dry her tears. “You okay?”
She wiped her eyes and blew her nose and smiled at him, a watery smile. “I will be,” she said.
The noise of the party was fading now. People were starting to leave.
He gestured in the direction Bobby had gone. “Friend of yours?”
She let her eyes close for a minute as images of all the years she’d spent with Bobby flashed across her mind like a movie. “He has been, yes.” She opened her eyes and looked at Steve. “Not anymore.” Saying that brought on more tears.
He nodded and just sat beside her while she pulled herself together. She supposed he was used to being around emotional, upset people.
“Thank you,” she choked out. “I’ll be fine.”
“Did you get a chance to read the book I gave you at all?”
She tried to smile. “I have. It’s helped.”
“And will we see you at church Christmas Eve?” He gave a self-conscious laugh. “It’s a beautiful service. Not too much preaching, lots of singing.”
With an effort, Sylvie pulled her thoughts out of the past. She didn’t know what the future would hold, but she could think as far ahead as Christmas Eve, at least. “I’ll be there,” she said.
KAYLAPRACTICALLYslunk into the Gusty Gull on Saturday night. She hadn’t wanted to come, not at all. But Amber had texted her and Erica had called, and short of turning off her phone, she realized she wouldn’t be able to get them off her back.
Plus she didn’t especially want to stay at home hating herself.
As soon as she was fully inside, she deeply regretted coming. The Gull was in the middle of its annual Christmas party, and things were getting very festive. She waved to a couple of people she knew and ducked to avoid being spotted by Norleen, who was sitting at a table with her middle-school posse, drinking and laughing.
“Over here!” Erica yelled, and Amber waved her arms wildly.
Kayla dodged a line of aging dancers and made her way to their tiny table, squeezed in tight with many others.
“Tell us everything,” Amber demanded. “No, wait, get a drink first.” She flagged down a waiter and ordered three big fruity drinks.
Erica leaned close and put a hand on Kayla’s arm. “I hear Tony left the Victory Cottage program and went back to his hometown.”
Kayla swallowed hard and nodded. She couldn’t speak. He’d texted her to say they were leaving to spend Christmas back in their hometown, that the incident probably wasn’t her fault, and that she shouldn’t try to get in touch.
“Was that something you knew about? Did you expect it?” Erica practically had to shout over the noisy crowd.
Her throat too tight to answer, Kayla shook her head.
Erica studied her for a minute, then grabbed Amber’s arm. “We can’t talk here. You and Kayla stay and get the drinks. I’ll get someone in the back room to trade places with us.”
Amber nodded, then turned and laughingly fended off Henry Higbottom, who wanted her to dance with him. Normally, Kayla would have loved this event, the casual informality of it, the way almost everyone in town was here.
Now, she felt vulnerable and exposed.
Amber looked at her, still laughing, and tilted her head to one side. Then, her expression darkening, she scooted over and put an arm around Kayla. “That scum,” she said. “You’re going to tell us about it, and we’re going to get back at him.”
Kayla shook her head, half smiling at Amber’s vehemence, but afraid if she let even a few of her feelings out, she’d cry.
Finally, drinks in hand, they made their way to the small, somewhat quieter back room where just eight tables held people mostly eating meals. Erica waved them to a corner table. “Come on, this is as quiet as it gets.”
Amber urged Kayla into a seat against the wall and sat down beside her. With Erica across the table, Kayla was effectively trapped. “Look, guys, I can’t stay long,” she said. “I appreciate your trying to cheer me up, but it’s fine. I just need to kinda...lick my wounds.”
Only saying that made her think of Paddington, licking Jax’s face. She’d never see either of them again. Her eyes filled with tears and she grabbed napkins from the dispenser and wiped them, angry with herself. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up. Shouldn’t have let herself come to care so much.
“Oh, honey.” Amber put an arm around her again. “I’m so sorry. I know how it can hurt.”
“I just don’t understand why he left so suddenly,” Erica said. “Do you?”
Kayla nodded and blew her nose. “He got mad at me,” she explained, “because I posted a picture of Jax on social media. He thought that was how that awful man found him.”
Erica frowned. “Is he right?”
“I don’t think so. He texted to say he was wrong and...” She sucked in a deep breath. “Anyway, Sylvie was trying to explain to me how she and the really big guy already knew Jax, from before. That had something to do with the guy who tried to kidnap him. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
“Didn’t Tony sign a waiver about pictures?” Amber asked. Having a son in school, she was familiar with the yearly paperwork.
“He did,” she said. “I brought that up, but he said he was signing everything in a hurry, and didn’t realize what it meant, and I should have known. Or checked.”
Amber blew out a snort. “That’s ridiculous. Sounds like he was looking for someone other than himself to blame.”
Kayla thought of the misery on Tony’s face. “He was blaming himself plenty, too,” she said. “It’s just that...well, I guess I was a contributing factor. I thought...” Her throat tightened again, and she shook her head. “Never mind.”
“You thought he cared for you, right?” Amber sucked down some of her drink. “So did everyone else in town. It was pretty obvious.”
“It never was obvious to me,” Kayla said. “He never made any promises.” Unless you considered a few amazing kisses a promise. Which he obviously didn’t. “Anyway—” she choked out the worst of it “—he said he needed a break, that it wasn’t going to work out between us. When he texted, he said not to get in touch.”
“Out of nowhere?” Erica shook her head. “Man, I thought he was a nice guy.”
Amber narrowed her eyes. “Did you and Tony ever...you know, get romantic?”
Kayla stared at the table, ran a finger around a liquid condensation ring, and nodded.
“You had your first kiss!” Amber practically yelled.
Erica smacked her sister’s arm. “Would you stop broadcasting things to the world?” She turned to Kayla. “And...wow, really? It finally happened?”
Kayla nodded miserably. “And then he dumped me. Just my luck.”
Erica pressed her lips together. “No, it’s not just your luck. It’s not something you deserve, either. I can’t believe Tony treated you that way.”
“He shouldn’t get away with it,” Amber said. “Someone should give him a good talking-to.”
“But don’t you see?” Kayla looked from one sister to the other. “Even if he feels bad about being mean, he didn’t care enough to give me a second chance. As soon as something happened, his reaction wasn’t to try to work it out. His reaction was to leave.” She gulped and forced it out: “To cut me off entirely.”
“Which was completely wrong,” Erica said. “And what it tells you is, he’s not right for you. But you can find a good guy.”
Kayla grabbed another napkin and blew her nose. She didn’t want another guy, she wanted Tony.
“And you deserve a good guy,” Amber said. “Now that you’ve kind of practiced with Tony, you’re ready to find the right person. The big leagues!” She made a dramatic gesture with her drink, sloshing some of it over the side.
“Cheers to that!” Erica, normally quieter, raised her voice along with her glass.
Kayla had to laugh a little, even though her heart hurt. “You guys are the best,” she said. “Thanks for dragging me out and cheering me up.”
“Here’s to real love in the new year,” Amber said. “A new resolution, to find a love that lasts.”
“Second the motion,” Erica said, giggling. “Or the resolution, or whatever.”
“Raise your right hand,” Amber joked, grabbing Kayla’s hand. “I, Kayla Harris, do solemnly swear to find true love—”
Kayla tugged back her hand, laughing. “Stop. Love isn’t like that. You can’t just resolve and then find it.”
“Worked for kissing,” Amber argued.
“Sort of. But I want it to happen naturally. And—” She held up a hand to halt Amber’s protest, sitting up straighter. “And I know I did nothing wrong with Tony.”
“That’s right,” Amber said. “And you’re a beautiful, kind woman.”
“You had scoliosis, but we all have physical problems,” Erica said, one hand going to her abdomen.
Amber reached out and squeezed Erica’s other hand. “That’s right. We both have our scars and our issues, and we found love. And you can, too.”
Kayla blew out a sigh. “I hope so. I really hope so.” Through her tears, she saw the Christmas lights and her friends’ blurry faces.
Love was a splendid thing. And now she could admit it: she’d fallen in love with Tony and his sweet nephew. She’d started to hope she could form a family with them. The hurt she felt, finding out that wasn’t going to happen, wouldn’t go away anytime soon.
But she’d survive it, because she was strong, and because she had friends like Erica and Amber, and a community full of people who helped each other find a second chance.
So she lifted her glass and tried to laugh with her friends, but her heart told a different story.
Oh, Tony, we could have been good together. Really, really good.