Outback Secrets by Rachael Johns

Chapter Thirty-seven

‘Liam! Liam! It’s okay.’

A cop’s hands landed on Liam’s arms, trying to restrain him, but he shoved him off. There were blood and bodies everywhere. He needed to get to her. He needed to get to her before … No!

Pain ricocheted through his body as if he were the one who’d been shot. Sweat poured from every pore in his skin as he tried to get to her, but he was frozen.

‘No!’ he screamed and started tearing at his own hair. How could he have let this happen again?

‘Liam. Wake up!’ The cop shook him hard, but the voice didn’t sound like it belonged to a man. And then a dog barked.

Jolting awake, he blinked open his eyes to see Henri leaning over him and Sheila standing at the end of the bed, alert. He sat up and turned to scrutinise Henri, her face only partially visible due to the moonlight outside.

‘It’s all right,’ she said, brushing her fingers against his forehead to wipe the sweat. ‘You just had a bad dream.’

Again. They weren’t over. But this one had been different from the others. If anything, this one had been worse. ‘Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

‘I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.’ She took his clammy hand and held it against her chest. ‘I’m sorry—I don’t think you’re supposed to wake someone who’s having a nightmare, but you seemed so distraught. I thought—’

‘It’s okay. I’m glad you woke me.’ Liam inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to temper his pulse. ‘But I’m sorry you had to see that.’

‘There’s no need to apologise. Having a bad dream isn’t something to be ashamed of. Let me get you a glass of water,’ she said, throwing back the sheet and heading out of the room.

He took a few more deep breaths as Sheila flopped back down, resting her head on his thigh. By the time Henri returned he was almost breathing normally again.

‘Oh my God,’ he said, suddenly remembering her injury. ‘Your ankle. I should have got it myself.’

‘It’s a lot better now.’ She handed him the glass and climbed back into bed beside him.

‘Thank you.’

Henri adjusted the pillows behind her. ‘Is this what you meant when you said you weren’t a good sleeper?’

‘Yeah.’ He nodded and put the now-empty glass on his bedside table. ‘Often it takes me hours to get to sleep because it’s late at night, when I have nothing else to do, that my brain starts churning through all the thoughts that I haven’t allowed it to dwell on through the day, but that’s almost better than the nightmares. Right after the shooting they were unrelenting, but they’ve become very sporadic over the last few years. Until just now, I hadn’t had one in over six months. I was kind of hoping I was done.’

‘Oh, Liam.’ She snuggled up close and rested her head on his shoulder, almost squishing Sheila between them. ‘What happens in these nightmares?’

‘I see everything again exactly as it happened that day.’

She squeezed his hand.

‘But this one wasn’t quite the same as usual.’

‘What was different?’

‘This time it was you.’

Henri lifted her head and turned to look into his eyes. ‘What do you mean?’

‘This time you were in the store, and he had the gun aimed at you. I could tell he was about to kill you, but …’

‘But you couldn’t get to me?’

‘No.’ He swallowed, his body temperature soaring again at the memory. ‘And then, this plane swooped into the store and … it picked you up with its actual wings, and the roof of the building parted like the bloody Red Sea and the plane flew off with you in it.’

Her expression grew even more serious. ‘Are you worried about me flying, Liam?’

A minute ago, he’d been burning up, but now his heart turned to ice.

Could he lie to her? He knew what the nightmare meant. It was his subconscious reminding him that he could lose her too. And he’d heard her stories, heard about her brush with death up north, knew it was possible.

‘Yeah,’ he admitted after a few long moments. ‘I’m terrified. Almost as terrified as I am about me hurting you.’

‘I’ll get a job in Bunyip Bay,’ she said, complete conviction in her voice. ‘I could help you here, at the pub?’

He only hesitated a moment. ‘No fucking way. That would only happen over my dead body! You’re not stopping flying. This only works—we only work—if you keep doing what you love. I won’t let you change who you are in your soul because of me. It’s me who needs to change. I need to grow some balls and start living properly again. And I will.’

‘I would give up flying for you,’ she said, ‘but I love that you won’t let me. I promise I will fly the safest I ever have. I’ll triple check everything and I won’t ever take any stupid risks. Okay?’

He nodded and rolled over so they were face to face. ‘I know you won’t, because now you won’t just have your mother, but also me to deal with if you do.’

She laughed and kissed him on the lips. ‘But you have to promise me one thing in return too.’

‘Anything.’

‘If you ever feel even the slightest bit low, you’ll call me. If I’m not available because I’m in the air, you’ll leave a message and I’ll call you back the minute I touch the ground.’

‘Deal.’

‘Promise me you won’t try and handle your demons alone anymore.’

‘I promise.’

‘Also … you said you saw a therapist?’

‘Yeah, a couple of times, in Colorado. Didn’t really help.’

‘I think you should try someone again,’ she said. ‘Maybe the first therapist wasn’t right or maybe you weren’t ready, but you’ve still got things to work through. I’m here for you—always—but I’m not an expert and I … Please, just give it another shot. There’s no shame in asking for help.’

‘Didn’t I just say I’d do anything for you?’

‘Yes, but I want you to do this for yourself as well.’

He nodded. ‘I’ll call someone tomorrow.’

‘Well, I’m not sure you’ll be able to find anyone open tomorrow, but next business day works for me.’

‘Tuesday then.’ He pulled her close, unable to recall ever having such a raw and honest conversation. But with Henri it felt okay, more than okay. It felt right. ‘You know absolutely everything about me now,’ he said.

‘Good. Because I don’t want there ever to be any secrets between us.’

‘Me either.’ He kissed her forehead and then reached across to switch off the lamp. ‘But now I think we should try and get some more sleep.’

‘That, Liam Castle, is the best idea you’ve ever had.’