Forever After All by Kaylee Ryan

Chapter 22

McKenna

“How am I supposed to sleep without you?” Rip asks. He’s currently lying on his bed, propped up on one arm with the bedsheet pooling at his waist as he watches me get dressed.

“You’ve slept years without me. I think you’ll be fine.”

“No. I won’t. That’s before I knew what it was like to fall asleep with you in my arms. I’m telling you, baby. I won’t be okay.”

He’s being so serious. There’s no hint of amusement on his face. Call me crazy, but I believe him. I’m also wondering how I’m going to sleep without his arms around me, but I guess we’re about to find out.

“Come on, Kenna. We can go visit them. We’ll stay the entire day and then come back here to sleep.”

“Rip.” I sigh. He’s making this hard for me. “I’ve been here every night since we came home from Vegas. It’s Sunday, Gramps is home, and even though I’ve been checking on him, I feel like I need to be there.”

“Fine.” He stands and quickly pulls on his jeans from last night, sans underwear.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going with you. I’ll just pack a bag.”

“We can’t do that. Not in my grandparents’ house.” My eyes widen at the thought.

“Kenna, do you really believe they that think we’re sleeping in separate beds while you’re here?”

“No, I don’t think that, but we can’t do that there. That’s all kinds of wrong.”

He walks toward me and places his index finger under my chin so that our eyes meet. “I’m not saying I’m going to make love to you there. I just need you close when I go to sleep. I’ll talk to Harold.”

“No. No, you are not going to talk to Harold about anything. He just had a heart attack. He doesn’t need this stress.”

“I know.” He nods, wrapping me in his warm embrace. “I just can’t handle the thought of you not being here.”

“That’s what dating is, Rip. We see each other, maybe have a sleepover or two, and we go home to our own places.”

“Then we’re not dating. We’re more than dating. I don’t give a fuck what you label it, but that’s what we are.”

I smile up at him. “You’re going to be okay, cowboy.”

“Last night…” He swallows hard. “Kenna, tell me this isn’t you running away from me. From us. Tell me I didn’t scare you away.”

My hand lands on his cheek. “You didn’t scare me away. Was it intense? Yes. Was it more of a declaration than I was expecting? Definitely, it’s soon, and I just… I want you to be sure, you know? I know that you’re a fixer, Rip. At least when it comes to your sister and me, that’s what you’ve always done. Even if it meant marrying me when we were kids.” I kiss underneath his chin. “A lot has happened, and maybe, just maybe, it’s because you knew I was upset about Gramps.”

“No. Fuck that. McKenna, you know better.” He steps back and hits his hands against his bare chest. “I’m standing right here, right now telling you that everything between us is real.” He moves until the back of his knees hits the bed, and he sits, pulling me between his legs. His forehead rests against my belly, and his arms are wrapped tightly around me.

I give him the time that he needs. Running my hands through his hair, I do my best to soothe him. It’s not my intention to upset him, but I’m gone for this man. And I never want him to feel trapped. That’s what happened to my parents, and it didn’t end well for them. I never want to live that kind of life again. I was little, but I have the scars as memories.

When Rip finally lifts his head, his eyes are bright and full of so much emotion. “McKenna, what I feel for you is real. I promise you.” He links his hands with mine and places them over his heart. “You’re right here. When I tell you I can’t sleep without you, it’s not to make you feel better. It’s because I don’t ever want to be without you. It doesn’t matter if I’m asleep or if I’m awake.”

“I can’t just keep staying here like I live here, Rip.”

“Then move in with me.”

“What?” I try to take a step back, but he’s faster and locks his arms around my waist, holding me to him.

“Move in with me. Make this your home. Our home together.”

“That’s a big step just to not have to sleep alone.”

“That’s not what this is,” he growls.

I know that it’s not. It’s hard for me when there are so many worries racing through my mind. “I’ll think about it.”

He nods. “That’s all I ask.” Sliding his hand behind my neck, he pulls me closer and kisses me softly. “I’m still going with you. Maybe there are some things around the house I can take care of while you visit with them.”

“You sure you don’t have things to do here?”

“I’m sure. You come first, McKenna.”

“I need to finish getting ready.”

“Me too.” Another quick kiss and he releases me.

We finish getting ready for the day. I don’t bother with my hair. I went to bed with it wet after our shower last night, and it’s a mess. Instead, I tie it up in a knot on top of my head and call it good.

Once we’re in the truck driving the short distance to my grandparents’ place, I’m suddenly nervous. Are we moving too fast? Has he really had the time he needs to think about this? About us? Will he have regrets?

Shaking out of my thoughts when we pull into their driveway, I push it all to the back of my mind. Today, I just want to spend the day with my family.

* * *

“Agnes, dinner was delicious,” Rip says. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“It was good, dear, but your fried chicken is better than this grilled.” Gramps glares at his now-empty plate.

“Deal with it,” Grams tells him. “We have to keep that heart of yours healthy. Now, how about some dessert?”

“Yes!” Gramps says emphatically.

I stifle my laughter, knowing Grams as I do. She’s not about to put a slice of chocolate cake in front of him. Gramps, the poor guy, he knows it too. Maybe it’s wishful thinking.

“You need some help?” I ask her.

“Sure.”

I stand and help clear the table. Rip tries to as well, but Grams tells him to sit. We carry the empty dishes to the kitchen, and I begin to load the dishwasher while she serves up fresh fruit with fat-free Cool Whip. “He’s going to be so disappointed,” I tell her.

“I know.” She laughs. “But he’s had years of eating whatever he wants. I’m not ready to let him go, so he’s going to have to suck it up.”

“He might whine, but he’s not going to fight you on it.”

“I know. And he will get used to it. It’s been a week. Speaking of a week, how are things with you and Rip?”

“Good. We’re together now.” I shrug, placing the final plate into the dishwasher.

“Are you not happy about that?”

“No. I am. I mean, it’s Rip, and he’s wonderful. I just… I don’t want him to have any regrets. This is all kind of fast.”

“Is it, though? Maybe it’s easier for me to see because I’ve been watching the Rip and McKenna show for years. When you left for college, he spent more time here than at his place.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Always stopping by to see if we needed anything. How do you think he started helping me pack in my supplies? He missed you. I think being here around us, in this house, made him feel closer to you.” She gives me a minute to process. “He blew it off as being a good neighbor, and he is the best, but Harold and I both knew there was more. There wasn’t a single time he was here, or we would run into him in town, that he didn’t ask about you. He was starving for any little morsel of information we could give him.”

“I wish he would have told me.” I can’t believe he wanted me all that time. I mean, I know he told me, but to hear it from Gram somehow makes it more real. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think Rip is lying to me, not at all. But this is my grandmother. She’s never held back punches when telling me what I need to hear, good or bad. She and my grandfather saved me from my parents, and we’ve had many hard conversations in my lifetime. So, yeah, coming from her, it’s definitely more real.

“Do you, though? Would you have been able to leave him?”

I think about how I’m dreading going to sleep tonight without him, and I know there’s a really good chance I would have stayed. “Probably not, but we’ll never know for sure.”

“He wanted you to follow your dream, McKenna. You’ve done that, and now you can think about what comes next. Marriage and a family.”

“Hey now, who said anything about marriage and a family?”

“Do you not want to be married? Not have a family of your own? Has that changed since you’ve been away at college?”

“No.”

“That’s what I thought,” she says smugly. “Now, let’s get this dessert delivered.” She sniggers, and I know she’s enjoying this. I’m glad to see that both of them are doing well and moving forward with a healthier lifestyle.

“What is this?” Gramps asks. He’s looking down at his bowl of fresh fruit and whipped cream like he might cry.

“It’s healthy and just the right amount of sweet.” Grams tells him with a tilt in her lips. “This is your new dessert.”

“You’re enjoying this?”

“I am. You’re acting like a toddler when I’m trying to save your life.”

Gramps nods. “Love you, Aggie,” he says softly.

“I love you too. Now dig in.”

* * *

Later that night, I’m in bed and have been staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. I miss Rip. What’s worse is that it’s my own stubbornness as to why he’s not here holding me now. When my phone vibrates on the nightstand, I know it’s him.

Rip:I miss you.

The text is followed by a picture of my side of his big king-size bed.

Rip:This bed is too empty.

I type out a message but decide to call him instead. I need to hear his voice. Backing out of the message, I hit his contact.

“Kenna.”

“Hey.”

“Can’t sleep?”

“No.”

“Me either.”

“Want me to come and get you?”

I glance at the alarm clock. It’s already one in the morning. “No. You have to be up in a few hours.” He gets up at five every day to start the chores on the farm.

“Well, that’s a few hours of sleep I’ll get compared to none.”

“No, I don’t want to wake my grandparents.”

“I hate this.”

“How is it that I’ve been home for a little over a month, and I’m already so attached to you?”

“Because we’re meant to be, Kenna.”

“It’s hard to resist you when you say things like that.”

“Good.” He chuckles softly.

“I should let you go. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Pretend like I’m there with my arms around you. Holding you close.”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling my eyes getting heavy. How can just talking to this man put me so at ease?

“Sweet dreams, baby.”

“Night, Rip.” I end the call, place my phone back on the nightstand, and drift off to sleep with his voice in my head.