Courage by Kristen Proby
Chapter 21
~Natasha~
“Ihope he’s gone when I get back. I don’t want to see him again.” I wipe at a tear in frustration and then take a bite of my third cookie.
Fallon and I met at Drips & Sips. Aspen isn’t here because she’s in London, but it’s still my favorite place to come.
“Do you think he’ll really move out?” Fallon asks.
“He better. I told him to.” I scowl. “My name is on the lease.”
“Are you sure you want to break it off?” She reaches over and takes my hand. “You’ve loved him forever.”
“I still do,” I admit and take another bite of cookie. “More than anything. But I don’t want to be with him and do the long-distance thing. He’s not good at it.”
“Long distance is so hard,” Fallon agrees. “I think you’re either good at it or you’re not.”
“And he’s not. I just feel bad for the kids. They lost so much last year, and now Sam, too. I mean, of course, they’ll still see him, but it’s not the same. They were used to having him here, used to living as a family.”
“You all were.”
“Yeah. I was so stupid. I thought we’d figure it all out, but I guess I was living in fantasy land.”
“I think you should talk it out with him more.”
“I don’t see what there is to discuss. I’m not going through even one more day like the past month, and he pretty much lives in Spokane now.”
She shakes her head. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re stubborn?”
I laugh and reach for cookie number four. “A few times. I guess I should stop eating cookies and head out. Get ready for the kids to come home in a few hours and the fun conversation that’s going to be.”
“I’ll drive you home.”
“Since it’s pretty much a blizzard out there right now, I’ll take you up on that.”
“What are you going to do about your car?” Fallon asks as we walk out to her vehicle.
“I don’t know. Probably scrap it and buy a new one. It was used when I bought it, and I knew it wouldn’t last me more than a few years, but the timing is bad.”
“It always is.” She drives the few blocks through town to my house, and I scowl when I see that Sam’s truck is still in the driveway.
Based on the amount of snow covering it, I’d say he never left.
“I don’t want it to get ugly.” I lay my head back on the seat. “He just needs to go.”
“I want you to promise me something,” Fallon says before I can get out of the car. “I want you to listen to him. If you’re still convinced that this is the right thing to do when he’s done talking, fine. But at least let him say his piece.”
“Fine.” I sigh and stare at my front door in dread. “Thanks for the ride and for listening to me vent.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” She grins. “Good luck.”
“I think I’ll need it.”
I slowly walk up to the front porch and take a deep breath before opening the door.
I smell something delicious. And when I walk in, the bags I spent several hours packing this morning are gone from the living room.
“Hey,” Sam says as he walks out of the kitchen. He’s smiling and wraps his arms around me, then presses his lips to mine. The kiss is chaste at first but then gets more passionate until he has to back away so we can catch our breath. “Christ, I missed that.”
“Uh, Sam, where are your bags?”
“Oh, I unpacked them. Everything’s put away, and I got dinner started for later.”
He smiles proudly.
“Did I walk into an alternate dimension?” I look around. “Sam, I broke up with you.”
“Good thing it didn’t stick.” He winks.
“That’s the whole point of breaking up. It sticks. I told you, I don’t want to do the long-distance thing with you anymore, and—”
“Good. Me, either.”
I stop and stare at him. “Huh?”
“I already called Spokane. I’m not going back.”
“No.” I shake my head and pace away.
“Already been hired back on here, too.”
“Sam, I’m not going to be the reason you give up on your dream.”
“Tash, don’t you get it? You are my dream. You and the kids are everything I want. If you’re miserable, then I am, too. And I should have done a much better job of making sure that you three were well taken care of while I was gone. That’s on me, and it’s something I’ll have to live with.”
He brushes a piece of my hair off my cheek and cups my jawline.
“I’m sorry that I fucked it all up so badly. But I’ll be damned if I’ll give up and leave. Not for a job, not for anything. I love you so much, I can’t breathe from the heaviness of it. And I need you. I need the kids.”
“I need you, too,” I whisper, and for the first time in weeks, I feel hope settle in my chest. “I know I was the one who pushed you to take the job, and then I bailed. But it was just so awful, Sam.”
“I’m fixing that right now. Your car’s already back in the shop, and if they fuck it up again, it’s going in the trash heap, and I’m buying you a new one. We’ll sit down with the kids tonight to discuss their attitudes. You’re not alone in this, baby. You never have been.”
I jump against him and wrap my arms around his neck.
“I’m so relieved.” He hugs me back. “Oh, and I have a new job.”
He pulls back and stares down at me. “Lots of changes lately.”
“Not all bad.” I tip my forehead against his. “Thank you. Thank you for doing all of this.”
“Thank you for not stabbing me this morning.” He kisses my nose. “How long do we have before the kids get out of school?”
I check my watch. “About two hours.”
“We’d better get started, then.” He lifts me and hurries to the bedroom. “I have a lot of time to make up for.”
“I mean, we never even had phone sex.”
“What I have in mind is much, much better.” He lays me on the bed but doesn’t undress me. He just kisses me long and slow. “Now, let’s spend some time in the slow lane.”
“As long as we make it to the fast lane, too.”
