Courage by Kristen Proby

Chapter 5

~Natasha~

Is it the stress? The fact that Sam and I spend so much time together now that we have the kids to raise? Could it be because I’ve wanted him for as long as I can remember, and he’s finally stripping me naked and having his wanton way with me?

I don’t know what the reason is—and frankly, my brain is too mushy to really care. All I know for sure is that I need this.

I need Sam.

“Need you, too,” he whispers before nibbling on my collarbone. I didn’t even realize I’d said the words out loud.

If I weren’t so incredibly turned on, I’d be embarrassed.

“Jesus, you’re bare under this thing.”

I grin and then gasp when he tugs my nipple right into his mouth and pulls.

Hard.

Christ, if I’d known that sex with Sam would be this crazy, I would have jumped him years ago.

He palms my ass with his big hands and turns to carry me to the bedroom.

“Need to see you,” he growls, moving fast through the house. I fall onto the bed, my sandals slipping right off my feet as Sam yanks my dress down and tosses it on the floor.

“Holy fuck.” He just stands there, staring down at me, and wipes the back of his hand over his mouth.

Suddenly shy, I move to cover my breasts, but he swiftly crawls over me and gently tugs my arm away, kissing my injured hand in the process.

“No. Don’t cover yourself, Tash.”

“You’re just staring at me.”

“Well, yeah. Of course, I am. You’re so damn beautiful it hurts.”

I grin again. “Aww, I bet you say that to all the girls, Sam Waters.”

“No.” He kisses me so gently, his lips a mere touch. “No, Natasha Mills, I don’t.”

His attention is gentle. Feather-light. It sends chills over my naked body as he barely brushes his fingertips down the center of my chest to my navel. When he licks the shell of my ear, I gasp.

He’s barely touching me, and I’m ready to come out of my skin.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” The words are rough, my voice thick with lust, but Sam just chuckles in my ear.

“We’re on the road,” he says. “But we’re not getting in the fast lane this time.”

“Let’s not hang out in the slow lane, either.”

I feel him smile against my skin. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to get you here, in this exact spot, Tash?”

“Ditto. But damn it, Sam, I’m in knots here. If I don’t have an orgasm stat, I’m going to come unglued—and not in a fun way. In a frustrated way. And neither of us wants that.”

“You’re right.” He leans up and nods grimly. “That would be awful.”

“Maybe the worst thing ever.”

“We can’t let that happen.”

“Great.”

I move to spread my legs, but he doesn’t get undressed to do me. No, that would be too normal for Sam Waters.

He’s never been predictable.

This man, this glorious, wonderful man, proceeds to scoot down the bed, and with his hands planted on both of my inner thighs to spread me, he face-plants right into the promised land.

“Sam!”

I almost jackknife into a sitting position, but then his tongue gets busy, and all I can do is fist the bed linens and hold on for the ride of my life.

If this isn’t the fast lane, I might want to rethink going into that lane because it could very well kill me dead.

His hands no longer hold me down. Instead, he brushes his fingers up and down the skin of my thighs, making me clench and squirm. When his tongue slips through my folds and inside me, I see stars.

Shooting stars.

Explosive, shooting stars.

I come apart as I cry out, gripping Sam’s hair as I ride the delicious wave of ecstasy.

When the clouds part, Sam leisurely kisses his way up my stomach. When he reaches my breasts, he camps out and pays attention.

“For such a willowy woman, you have great boobs.”

“Ha-ha. Funny.”

“Not funny at all. True.” He licks a nipple and then blows on it, watching in fascination as it hardens. “Sexy.”

“Are we back in the slow lane?”

“Just for a minute,” he says.

I blink.

“You’re naked.”

“So are you.”

“I mean you weren’t naked just a few minutes ago. When did that happen? Are you a wizard or something, who just magically strips off his clothes?”

“Yes.”

I stare at him, and he laughs.

“You were busy enjoying your orgasm when I took them off.”

“I didn’t get to look at you.”

He quirks an eyebrow, and with mischief in his eyes, he stands up and turns in a circle. “Better?”

“Hmm. Turn around again.”

He does as I ask, and I admire his backside. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the man has an ass to write home about. And his back muscles!

He starts to turn back around, but I just say, “Stop.”

“Do I have something stuck to my ass?”

“No, I’m just admiring it.” I sit up and scoot over so I can bite the flesh of his butt. “And we need to talk about your back.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Absolutely nothing at all. The muscle tone is crazy, Sam.”

“All the better to carry you with.” He turns, and I’m eye-level with his very impressive dick. I reach for it and look up to find his eyes narrowing as he watches me intently.

“Hi there.” I kiss the tip, the same way he did my nipples, and then blow on it.

“Natasha.”

“Oh, now you want to get in the fast lane?”

He laughs and tumbles me back onto the bed, then covers me. With those deep blue eyes trained on mine, he sheaths his cock, slides right inside and seats himself, balls-deep.

“Oh, damn.”

Tears threaten. Not because he hurt me or made me do anything I didn’t want to do. No, it’s because I’ve waited years for this. For him. I’m no virgin, but deep down, I always yearned for Sam.

And here he is.

Inside me.

And looking at me as if I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen in his life.

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Then why do I see tears swimming in those gorgeous eyes?” He kisses my cheek and brushes his fingers through my hair.

“I’m not crying.”

“Okay.”

I hitch my legs up higher on his hips, and he takes a long, deep breath.

“Sam?”

“Right here, babe.”

“Holy shit, Sam.”

His lips tip up into a sweet smile. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Now, fast lane or slow? It’s up to you.”

“I’m not the only one here.”

“You’re the most important one.”

And just like that, I might have tipped over into love with this man. Real love, not the crush I’ve had for most of my life.

I knew he was special.

I didn’t know he was this incredible.

“Maybe the middle lane?”

He rubs his nose over mine and sets a rhythm, a push and pull that’s right there in the middle. Not too slow, not too fast. Just perfect so he hits all the right spots but ensures I don’t finish too quickly.

He takes my good hand, kisses it, and then traps it over my head against the mattress as he picks up speed, just a tiny bit.

“God, I can’t hold back.”

“Don’t. Don’t hold back with me.”

His jaw clenches, and with a low growl, Sam loses himself. All I can do is watch with absolute female satisfaction as he comes apart.

When he pushes in, pulsing and rubbing against my clit, I follow him right over.

“Whoa.” I swallow hard, and then he rolls us onto our sides so he can relax next to me. “Who knew it would be like that?”

“Me.” He brushes a lock of my hair off my cheek. “I knew.”

“Whatever.”

“Do you feel okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m perfectly happy right now, thanks for asking.” His face is mere inches from mine as we both share my pillow. “Does this change everything?”

“No overthinking,” he says gently. “But, yes. It changes everything.”

“That’s what I thought.”

* * *

“Do I overthink every single thing?”I ask as I make myself at home in Aspen’s kitchen, getting to work on my famous margaritas.

“If you’ve suddenly changed everything about your personality, then no.” Aspen grins when I narrow my eyes at her.

“Don’t say anything without us!” Her Royal Highness, Princess Eleanor—better known as our bestie, Ellie—says as she and Alice hurry into the room. “We got here as fast as we could.”

“And by that she means that my husband drove as slow as possible,” Alice adds with a grimace. “That man doesn’t understand urgency unless someone has a gun pointed at Callum. Then, he picks up speed.”

“Thankfully, the whole gun pointed at my husband thing doesn’t happen often,” Aspen says with a wink. “You haven’t missed much yet. Tash was just asking if I think she’s an overthinker.”

“No, not at all.” Ellie rolls her eyes. “Never. Not you.”

“Sarcasm isn’t dignified on royalty,” I inform her.

I love these women. They’re my tribe. Aspen owns Drips & Sips here in town and married Ellie’s brother, Prince Callum, several years ago. The royal family is deeply rooted here in Cunningham Falls now, but they bounce back and forth between Montana and the United Kingdom.

Alice is married to Callum’s personal bodyguard, and she does most of the cooking for the royals. She’s become a great friend since we met her back when Callum and Aspen were dating.

“I’m incredibly dignified when I’m sarcastic.” Ellie sniffs regally, making me smile. “Why are you worried about overthinking?”

“Sam pointed it out, and I guess I never really gave it much thought before.” I squeeze fresh limes into the blender.

“How are things with the kids and Sam?” Alice asks, the three of them sobering.

“Things with Sam are really good.” I bite my lip, thinking about the weekend we just had. “We had sex.”

Three gasps fill the kitchen.

“Natasha,” Aspen breathes. “And you haven’t told us yet?”

“I didn’t see you before tonight.”

“You lead with that information,” Ellie says. “As soon as we walk through the door, the first words out of your mouth should be: ‘I did the dirty with Sam.’”

“It wasn’t dirty.” I add more lime and then pulse the blender. “Well, some parts were kind of dirty. But now, I have doubts.”

“About the dirtiness?” Aspen asks.

“No, about Sam. It probably wasn’t a good idea to have two sex-filled days with him.”

“Where were the kids?”

“Noah and Fallon had them. I feel like I should send them flowers. Or dinner or something. Anyway, it was probably a mistake because now we have to raise two kids together. What if it’s all weird?”

“Was it weird earlier today?” Alice wants to know.

I frown and take five glasses out of the cabinet. “No. But he hasn’t been to the house since we had the incredible sex. He was on call, and there was a barn fire out by the King ranch. I guess it was a doozy. He worked on it for a long time. They lost some animals. It was a mess.”

“So you haven’t seen him to know if things are off,” Aspen says.

“Right.” I sigh and pour five glasses full of margaritas.

“Honey,” Ellie says softly. “There are only four of us here.”

“I know.” I don’t look up as I slide a glass over to an empty stool at the island. “But this is the first time we’ve had a margarita night since it happened, and I need to do this. Because she’s here, you guys. She’s still here with us.”

“Of course, she is,” Alice says with a forced smile and raises her glass. “To our precious Monica. Our sweet friend. May you be having a margarita in heaven.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Aspen says and clinks her glass to ours. She offers me a sympathetic smile, and I can almost read her mind.

I know how hard this is. I’m right here if you need me.

Only Aspen would know exactly what I’m going through. She lost her first husband and daughter to a horrible accident years ago. And during everything that’s happened over the past several months, Aspen’s been my rock.

“I know you had other duties to see to,” I say softly. “That you should have been in London, and instead you and Callum stayed here so you could help me out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aspen begins, but then softens when she sees the look on my face. “Honey, you needed help. Of course, we stayed. The kids love it here, we’re safe here, and there’s no reason I can’t be here. The king and queen understood completely. Please don’t think that being here for you was a hardship for us in any way.”

“We’re all here to help,” Alice adds. “I’m happy to take the kids to play with mine anytime.”

“Thank you.” I sip my drink and sigh. “Right now, they’re happy to be back in school. And so far, they haven’t gotten into any trouble. Thank God. This summer, I was sure they were both headed for a life of crime.”

“They’re adjusting, too,” Ellie says.

“Sometimes, if Kelsey has had a bad dream and wants to sleep with me, she’ll call me Mama in her sleep.” I swallow hard. “It just about kills me. Because I know she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. It’s just so sad, you know?”

“Heartbreaking,” Aspen agrees.

“I see the salon sold,” Ellie says. “Have you been in?”

“No.” I shake my head and refill my glass, then open a bag of chips and fetch the guacamole out of Aspen’s fridge. “No, I can’t go in. I haven’t gone since the day I went in to pack up my things.”

“Not even when you sold it?” Alice asks.

“Not even then. But I hear Reagan’s doing a good job with it, and that makes me happy.”

“What are you going to do?” Aspen asks.

“About what?”

“About a job, Tash,” she continues. “Now that things are settling down, and the kids are in school, I’m just wondering what you’ll do next.”

“I feel like I haven’t had the brain space to think about it,” I admit. “And then I hurt my hand, so I definitely couldn’t go back to doing nails for a while. I don’t know if I want to do nails again. It was something I did with Monica, and I don’t think it would be as fun, you know?”

“Maybe a career change?” Alice asks.

“I need to do something. My savings will run out eventually.”

“I’m quite sure there’s a trust for the kids and the person caring for them,” Aspen says with a frown.

“That money is theirs, not mine. It’ll be there for them when they’re adults.”

“It’s there for this very reason,” Alice reminds me. “That in the case of…this, the caretakers can afford to care for the kids.”

“I know, and if worse comes to worst, I’ll use it. But I don’t need it. It’s for Kelsey and Kevin. I’ll figure it out.” I shrug and pop a chip into my mouth. “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you guys.”

“Oh, no,” Ellie says, shaking her head slowly. “You’re going to tell us more about this sexy time with Sam. You’ve had a crush on that man since before I met you, and I need to know every little detail.”

“Yes.” Aspen leans in. “I’m here for this content. Give us deets. Use all the naughty words, and don’t leave anything out. If you forget something, you have to start over again at the beginning.”

“You’re all a bunch of perverts.”

No one responds. They just stare at me, intently. Like I’m about to deliver the secrets of the universe.

“I mean…it was nice.”

“If it was just nice, it was a waste of time,” Aspen says. “But maybe it’s none of our business.”

That’s exactly something that Monica would say.

“You guys.” I sigh and stare dreamily out the window that gives us a killer view of the mountains. “He’s so…sweet. And kind of bossy. And funny. Like the chemistry is ridiculous. And we just fit, you know?”

“Yeah.” Ellie sighs, her face filled with romantic softness. “I do. It’s the best feeling ever.”

“And he’s fun. It’s not all stiff and boring and awkward. He can’t get enough of my body, and I’m not even a little bit self-conscious because he’s so into it. There’s just no room to be unsure.”

“That’s the best,” Aspen says with a nod. “The. Best.”

“And then I asked him if everything would change. Or maybe I said, ‘Does this change everything?’, and he told me to stop overthinking. But then he said that it did change everything, and I don’t really know what that means because all we did was bone for two days, and he’s been fighting a fire and we haven’t talked.”

“Breathe,” Alice advises. “Take a breath.”

“Obviously, when he’s no longer on call, you’ll be able to chat,” Ellie says. “And you’re definitely overthinking this. If the sex was that good and easy, there’s nothing at all to worry about.”

“But, the sex was easy for you and Liam, and you still had doubts,” I remind her.

“Well, yes, because I too am an overthinker.” She laughs and then shrugs. “But it worked out in the end. My advice to you is: don’t make him travel all over the Earth to find you. Just be honest with him.”

“I’ll be honest.” I finish my second margarita. “It would help if I was drunk.”

“No.” Aspen laughs and eats a chip. “No, it wouldn’t.”