Strictly for Now by Carrie Elks

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

ELI

“Mac?” I whisper. She’s dead to the world, her hair a mess of waves as she lies on the sheets. It’s a mess because of me. I kind of overshot. And then we had to shower, and one thing led to another.

I trace the bridge of her nose. Then the outline of her lips. She groans and lifts her hand, trying to bat me off like I’m a fly.

I hate waking her up. Over our nights together I’ve realized that she’s not a great sleeper. I, however, am, and I really don’t want to be awake right now. I want to be back in bed, her body curled around mine.

But here I am in my fucking clothes at stupid o’clock in the morning.

“Hunter,” I try again. “I have to go.”

“Huh?” Her eyes blink open. As soon as they land on me, they soften. I like that way too much.

“I have to go to practice.” It’s game day and we’re starting early. This one is important. Against our closest rivals. There’s been a beef between the Mavericks and the Fairview Phantoms for years and because we’re so close geographically it’s one of the few games that sells out.

She sits up, rubbing her eyes. She has bruises down her side from hitting the ice hard on our last lesson. I’ve been rubbing arnica into them every day and though they’re yellowing they still look obvious.

“What time is it?” she asks.

“Six-thirty.”

“I thought practice was at eight.” Her voice is groggy.

“It is, but I want to go over a few things before the team arrives.” I kiss her brow. “Go back to sleep.”

“You just woke me up,” she points out, not unreasonably.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

Her lips curl. She leans forward and puts her arms around me, pulling me in for a soft kiss. One that gets harder. And then so do I. It takes more willpower than I realized I had to pull back.

“Will you be watching the game tonight?” I ask her.

“Yep.”

“I’ll see you then.” I kiss her again, reluctantly standing and stretching my arms. I’ve been staying at her place most nights. Apart from her skating lessons we leave the stadium separately every evening, then I call her from my car to decide whose place we’re going to.

She prefers hers which is fine by me. I don’t have to clean. Plus I don’t mind putting on yesterday’s clothes and showering in the locker room. Another reason to get there before the team.

The building still feels like it’s asleep when I arrive. I walk into the locker room and grab a towel, heading to the shower. The water is hot and steamy, but I’d still prefer to be in bed with Mackenzie. I’m dressed and drying my hair with a towel when Goran and Carter arrive, neither of them looking fully awake.

Luckily, they’re both here for rehab. They’ll get stretched and pummeled then join us on the ice at nine. “Everything okay?” I ask them.

They both nod. “Need coffee,” Goran says. “The shop doesn’t open until eight.”

“He wants to flirt with Mackenzie again.” Carter grins.

I lift a brow but say nothing. I’ve been careful as fuck not to be seen with her because I know she’d hate that. Which is pretty annoying because whenever I see her in the hallways she’s always looking delectable and all I want to do is push her against the wall and kiss her until she’s breathless.

It’s even more annoying seeing Goran take her coffee every day when I want that to be me.

The guys get changed then head over to the rehab room and I grab my phone and groan when I see the notification on there.

It’s my nephew’s birthday. I haven’t sent him a damn card.

I quickly tap out a message to Myles, telling him to wish Charlie a happy birthday and that I’ll bring his gift over this weekend.

Three little dots come up. I’m not surprised because Myles is an early riser, always has been. Unlike Liam, Linc, and Brooks who’d stay in bed all day if they could.

Being a doctor, Holden just doesn’t sleep. He’s too busy saving lives for that.

Great. You can give it to him at his party on Sunday. – Myles

I blink. I love Charlie, I do. But spending time at a kid’s birthday party when I could be in bed with Mackenzie?

Not sure I can stay for the party. I may have to drop his gift and run. – Eli

You can’t do that. Everybody will be here. They all want to see you. – Myles

I wrinkle my nose. I haven’t been the most communicative with them in the past few weeks, but then I’ve been busy.

Mostly with Mac.

Another message pops up.

Even Holden’s coming. If you don’t show up we’ll be a brother short. – Myles

Guilt washes over me. Holden tried to call me last week and I meant to call back but I didn’t. Yes, I’ve been busy, but I’ve always had time for my brothers.

Especially Myles. He was the one who would drive me back and forth from hockey practice without complaint. Who came to look at colleges with me and Mom because our dad was always busy at work or on a cruise with his latest wife. Myles has always had time for us, despite being a busy bastard himself.

I slide my fingers over the screen to send a fast reply.

I’ll be there. – Eli

Thank you. – Myles

Then I put my phone in the locker and pull out my uniform and skates, ready to put them on before I read through today’s game strategy and get the team started on drills.

Because today’s the day we’re going to beat the Phantoms. It’s going to be a good day.

* * *

MACKENZIE

I’m running late. I spent this morning negotiating with the IRS on Gramps’ behalf, pleading for a small extension until after the exhibition game when the income from the ticket sales has been released. And this afternoon I’ve been holed up in my office having conference call after conference call with the production company that will film my parents and the exhibition game and everything that comes with it.

I expected it to be easy. A discussion about accessibility, timings, where the best place will be for the cameras. But they wanted full details of the team, and who I thought would be the best players to record and be part of the promo for the game.

It ended five minutes ago, with them telling me they’d be sending a scout down to check out locations. And they also want to meet with Gramps’ nursing home to see if they can record there.

By the time I get to the staff box, the first period is about to start. Brian’s saved me a seat and he pats it so I slide in next to him.

“What have I missed?” I whisper.

“Nothing yet. The team is looking good.”

Eli is behind the bench and instead of watching the team face off against the Phantoms on the ice, I look at him.

He’s wearing his full kit but his helmet is off. I don’t know if he intends to put himself on the ice today or not, though he’s obviously ready for it. He’s leaning forward, his elbows resting on his padded knees, shouting out something to Carter who nods.

And then he lifts his head and even though there’s a distance between us I swear our gazes connect. I want to lift my hand up and wave, but I’m surrounded by staff and I don’t want them to know what’s going on.

Two minutes later, we score. I jump to my feet and scream and clap, a huge smile pulling at my lips because I know Eli wanted to get the advantage. He looks up again, grinning this time.

And I find myself breathless at the sight of this man.

Last night he carried me into the bathroom after, ah, we had some fun in the kitchen, resulting in me getting more messy than I’d planned. He’d shampooed my hair, then brushed conditioner through it, before he ended up getting us both even messier again.

Sex with him is great. Like unbelievably so. But it’s more than that. I enjoy talking to him. I enjoy being with him.

He makes me laugh and I love that. I don’t feel alone anymore and I like that a damn lot.

The first period ends and the Zamboni comes onto the ice, so I sneak out of the box and head down to the concession stalls. I’m still in love with the hotdogs. There’s a line at the vendor so I join the end and pull out my phone, idly scrolling as I wait for my turn.

There’s a message from my dad, that I’ll reply to later, asking me how the production meeting went. Another from my brother, Brad, who wants to know how often to feed a puppy. That sends a shiver down my spine and I reply asking for more information because Brad can barely keep himself alive, let alone a poor dog.

And then there’s one from Rachel.

Check this out. – R xx

There’s a link. I click on it then immediately regret it. Because it’s taken me to a webpage called SexiestHockeyPlayers.com and damn if Eli isn’t number seven on the list.

I make a mental note to tease him about the other six, then I stare at his picture. It was taken when he was playing for the Razors because he’s wearing their jersey. He’s on the ice but not wearing a helmet, so I’m guessing it was taken after a game or during a break. He’s staring at something off to the left. And he’s smiling. His hair is wet from exertion, he’s got scruff on his face, and I’m kind of mesmerized by him.

I know how that scruff feels. I know how his lips feel on mine. I know the weight of his body as he moves inside of me.

My cheeks heat.

And this one. – R xx

I roll my eyes but click on it anyway. This time Eli is wearing a pair of shorts and a baseball cap and nothing else, running along the sand. The sun is hitting him in a way where every muscle of his stomach looks even more defined than usual. The woman standing behind me lets out a whistle.

“That man is hot stuff.”

My staff lanyard is still around my neck. One glance and she’ll know that I work here and I’m perving on the coach. I quickly close it down.

“A friend sent it as a joke,” I tell her.

“Everybody needs friends like that,” the woman says. “What’s that website again?”

I don’t answer because nobody is allowed to perv on Eli Salinger but me.

Luckily, I’ve made it to the front of the line so I put my order in, asking for extra onions on my dog because I haven’t eaten all day. And as always, I can’t stop myself from biting into it before I’ve even left the concourse.

The stadium is extra busy with all the Phantoms fans, so I push past them into the staff area, walking past the locker room as I stuff my face with hot dog.

“Mac.”

I turn to see Eli standing there in his uniform and socks. I hold my hotdog mid air, all too aware that I’ve got ketchup on my lip. Sauces and me just don’t mix.

“Hey.” I smile at him. “You’re all doing great.”

“You coming back to mine or am I coming to you?” he asks.

I like that he doesn’t ask if we’re going to be together. But that’s because he’s not being presumptuous. He knows I want to be with him.

“Mine?”

He winks and heads back into the locker room. And I wipe the ketchup from my face and lick my finger because I’m not wasting a single bit.

* * *

The noise is deafening. Half of the stadium is standing and cheering. The other half are trying to push past them to head toward the exit because their team lost.

Luckily, I’m in the cheering half. Every member of staff in the box is jumping up and down, high fiving each other.

Some of them even high five me.

I’m beginning to understand why people follow teams. The high is very high. And I’m so excited to celebrate with Eli. I’m so damn proud of him. He’s worked hard with the players and he’s turning them into a winning unit. Something they can all be proud of.

It means a lot to him after being pushed out of the NHL due to his knee injury. One night in bed he told me he didn’t want to leave so early.

That he’s still pissed he didn’t get to retire when he wanted to.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out, expecting it to be another message from Rachel, who’s apparently following the game at home, while Googling for photos of Eli. She actually sent me a link to hockey porn, because she wasn’t lying, it really is a thing. I got a glimpse of a girl in her guy’s hockey uniform, knelt between his knees, before I realized what it was and quickly turned it off.

It still made me hot though. The thought of pleasing Eli while wearing his jersey.

Rachel must have tired herself out, because it’s from Eli, not from her.

Come meet us in the locker room. – Eli x

You sure? – Mackenzie x

Yes. All of you. The team wants to celebrate with everyone. – Eli x

So the staff and I squeeze into the elevator because Pam from accounts has a bad foot and we want to arrive together. As soon as the locker room door opens, I can smell sweat and pheromones. There’s shouting and laughing and it makes me smile.

“Brian!” Carter calls out. “Come over here and give us a hug.”

Brian smiles nervously but lets them envelop him as the team circles up and pulls him into their group.

They’re only half dressed. Some of them have had showers, some haven’t, but they all look jubilant. When the group hug breaks up Goran spots me and calls me over, enveloping me in a bare-chested bear hug. Then I get passed from player to player, squished in their brawny arms, before I end up face to face with Eli.

“Hi.” I smile at him. He’s grinning and I love how happy he looks. I want to throw my arms around him, let him lift me up against his chest.

But there would be too many questions. Ones I’m not ready to answer.

So I do something really stupid.

I hold my hand out for a handshake.

He looks at it, then back up at me, my hand dangling in mid air. There’s a tic in his cheek that’s moving in and out rapidly.

My chest tightens because I’ve messed up.

I hugged every single player but him. I should have hugged him. In fact I do, but it’s too late, he’s stiff in my arms. Does nothing to hug me back.

And I want to say sorry. I want to take it back. He’s just won the most important match of his career so far as a coach and I feel like I’ve ruined it.