Strictly for Now by Carrie Elks

CHAPTERNINETEEN

MACKENZIE

Eli is completely ignoring me.

Right now he’s talking to Pam about the best way to ice her foot. Then he asks her about her new grandbaby and she gets out her phone to show him some photos.

And then he reciprocates, showing photos of his two year old nephew who’s apparently cute as a button.

He has a nephew? Why didn’t I know this? I can’t ask because Goran is trying to tell me about some beef he has with a player from the other side, plus the blood is rushing too fast past my ears.

“You’re coming out with us, right?” Goran asks. “To celebrate?”

“I ah…” I look for Eli to try to work out what he’s doing. But he’s still ignoring me. “I don’t know,” I say lamely.

“Yes, come,” Carter says. “I can impress you with my dance moves.”

“You can’t dance for shit,” Goran says. “No American can.”

“Yeah, because Swedes are so well known for their dancing skills,” Carter says, rolling his eyes. “Actually, what are you famous for?”

“Having the best center halves in hockey,” Goran says. “Naturally.” He tips his head to the side. “And of course we can dance. Have you heard of ABBA?”

“No, but I think my Grandma has,” Carter says. “Okay, you and me at the club. Dance off.”

I look over at Eli again. This time he’s talking to Max, the first goalkeeper and still not looking at me.

“You’re on,” Goran says. “Mackenzie can choose the winner.”

I bring my attention back to them. “Oh no, I’m not coming out. I’m gonna head home.”

“Of course you’re coming,” Goran says, taking my hand. “Eli, tell her she’s coming with us.”

Eli turns and finally looks at me. But his expression is painfully blank. “What?”

“Mackenzie is coming with us to the club.”

“No, I’m…”

“Okay,” Eli says, shrugging as if he couldn’t care less.

And now I’m the one who’s annoyed. Because yes, I should have hugged him. But there’s no need for him to ignore me like this.

Especially since I hate the taste of my own medicine.

“Sure,” I say to Goran. “I’ll come with you. I love dancing.”

Eli’s expression flickers then turns back to neutral.

It’s actually true. I have rhythm when I’m not on the ice. When I was in college, going to clubs was my way of winding down. And it’ll be funny to watch Carter and Goran trying to one up each other on the dance floor.

But I’m also aware that Eli now looks more annoyed than ever.

“Great. You can catch a cab with me,” Goran tells me, looking happy. Then he grabs Carter’s hand and tries to dance with him.

It’s another hour before we’re outside. The guys have all showered and changed, and most of the supporters have gone home, though there’s a small crowd that cheers as the guys walk outside. Eli hasn’t said a word to me yet. He’s scowling at his phone and it’s only when my own vibrates in my pocket that I realize he’s messaging me.

You’re NOT dancing with Goran. – Eli

I was going to apologize to you, you ass. But now he’s annoying me and I don’t want to.

I’ll dance with whomever I want. – Mackenzie

I give myself extra points for being grammatically correct. That M is working overtime.

Anybody but me, right? – Eli

I stare at the words. There’s hurt there. And I hate it because I know why he’s hurting. I treated him differently. Worse. When I should have treated him better.

I want to dance with you. – Mackenzie

I don’t dance. – Eli

I lift a brow and look over at him. He’s still ignoring me, physically at least. The big baby. He’s still hot though.

Then I’ll dance for you. All night. – Mackenzie

I make a show of putting my phone in my pocket, and smile at Goran when he tells me the cab he’s ordered is almost here. We’re behaving like kids, Eli and I, but in a weird way I like it. He’s angry but I’ll make it up to him. And then he’ll take me home.

There’s a rush of heat in my blood that I haven’t felt for the longest time.

After college I didn’t go dancing any more. I certainly didn’t annoy hot hockey players who have a jealous streak.

And I didn’t promise to dance for them afterward.

I spent my twenties and thirties building up my career. Proving I was more than my name. Maybe I was trying to prove something to myself, too. That I wasn’t some nepo baby who was famous for baring all on a stupid ice rink.

The cab arrives and four of us pile in. I’m sandwiched between Goran and Ryan, with Carter opting to sit in the front. Eli gets into the next cab, looking way too delectable in a pair of dark gray pants and a white shirt, and he still doesn’t look at me.

Goran and Carter trash talk each other the whole way. Ryan is on his phone, tapping out messages like he’s using a manual typewriter, his fingers crashing against the screen.

“Boyfriend trouble,” Goran whispers in my ear during a break from bitching with Carter.

“Oh.” I give Ryan a sympathetic smile, but he’s too busy frowning at his screen for that.

When we get to the club Goran gets out first, offering me a hand to pull me to the sidewalk, which I appreciate because the skirt I’m wearing is tight and liable to shift up my thighs. Eli’s cab beat ours and they’re already at the door. He turns around and his eyes meet mine for a moment.

I stare back, unruffled. I’m going to dance so hard for this man he won’t know what hit him. I’m stupidly excited about it.

Security waves us in through the roped area. There’s thirty of us in all. Eli puts his card behind the bar and whispers in the server’s ear, I assume about a limit. Then the first round arrives, shots and beers. Goran insists that I take one of each.

“We down the shot then we down the beer,” he tells me.

“Is that a Swedish tradition?” I ask him.

He laughs. “No, we just need to get the party started.”

It works. Another round comes out and I turn it down. The music is pumping, the dancefloor is full, and the guys are getting a lot of attention from the customers who know exactly who they are.

Three girls surround Goran. He’s grinning like a loon. Some others approach Carter and he waves them off. That’s when I remember his girlfriend and her pregnancy scare. My estimation of him goes up. He knows where his boundaries are and I like that.

Eli is talking to Brian when a woman comes up with a piece of paper. She whispers in his ear and slides the paper into his shirt pocket.

And all my amusement disappears in that one tiny movement, replaced by a searing heat in my stomach. Yes, I’m pissed with him and I know he’s furious with me, but there’s no way I’m letting somebody put their number in his pocket. I’m about half a second away from stomping over there when Eli shakes his head and takes the piece of paper from his pocket and hands it back to her.

She leans forward and says something else but Eli isn’t looking at her anymore.

He’s looking at me.

The woman flounces back to the dance floor and joins her group of friends who all laugh and shake their heads. My gaze turns back to Eli.

He lifts his phone.

I take my own out and read it.

Want to go home yet? – Eli

How can he read my mind so easily? Yes, I do. I want to finish this day because somehow it’s ended wrongly. What should have been happy has turned sad. And I know that it happens – that’s what life is made of after all.

But I still want it to be over and to start afresh.

Yes I do. But I’m going to dance for you first. – Mackenzie

You can do it for me at home. – Eli

Nice try. – Mackenzie

“So is this dance off happening or what?” I ask Carter.

He glances at Goran who has his arms around two of the girls. I’m pretty sure if he had three arms he’d be hugging all of them.

“I think he’s busy.”

“I’m going to dance anyway,” I tell him. “Want to join me?”

“I have a girlfriend,” he says, shifting awkwardly.

“I know,” I tell him. It’s sweet that he’s being careful. “That’s why I asked. I want to dance with someone who has no interest in anything but making some shapes.”

He smiles. “Okay, sounds good.”

“You could check with your girlfriend first,” I say, because if I was her I’d want to know.

He texts her. And he tells her I’m old, because I can read his messages over his shoulder. She tells him to go for it with a thumbs up.

Well okay then.

Pushing our way through the team, we make it to the dance floor, finding a space at the edge. The music is low and pumping, some club tune I don’t recognize. But my body does, it feels the beat and my pulse matches it.

Carter holds out his hand and I take it. He pulls me in and spins me out. I kind of totter because I’m wearing this stupid tight skirt.

“Wait a minute,” I tell him, taking off my shoes. I lose a couple of inches in height but damn does it feel better.

This time when he spins me I let the movement take over. My body becomes one with the music. I look at Eli, who’s holding a beer, his gaze on me. He’s leaning on one of those high tables, away from the rest of the team.

I turn myself to face him. Put my arms up and let my body undulate in time to the music. It’s sensual and sexy knowing I’m doing this just for him.

It’s like he’s the only man in the room. And I want him to know how much he affects me.

A pair of hands clasp my hips. I turn, expecting to see Carter there, but it’s a man I don’t know.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

Before he has time to answer, Eli is storming toward us. My heart is hammering against my chest.

“My boyfriend,” I murmur, nodding my head at the most beautiful man in the room.

Grabby hands immediately lets go. “Sorry, my mistake.”

“Don’t touch women without asking,” I tell him. “It’s rude.”

“You okay?” Eli asks, eyeing the man who’s still behind me.

“You shouldn’t let your girlfriend dance alone,” Grabby tells him.

“My girlfriend does what she wants,” Eli says, his voice low. “It’s assholes like you who shouldn’t be touching her.”

“Yeah, well piss off.” Grabby turns and storms off. I look at Eli. His eyes are dark, his jaw tight, but he’s sensible enough not to look for a fight.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I didn’t ask him to touch me.”

“No need to be sorry. Not your fault. You should be able to dance if you want to without people touching you.”

“I thought it was Carter for a minute,” I tell him. Then I smile. “I just wanted to dance for you.”

“I liked it.” Eli’s voice is thick. Gritty. “You want to continue this at home?”

I do. I want to dance for this man like Salome danced for Herod. Without the chopping off John the Baptist’s head part. “I’ll tell Carter,” I say, sliding my shoes back on.

“Goran’s grabbed him. Their dance off is starting.”

Sure enough, the two of them are in the middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by the team. Goran is waving me over.

I shake my head. “Gotta go,” I mouth. “Shall we?” I ask Eli, turning back to him.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t make a show of leaving with me. Just puts his hand softly in the curve of my back as we walk out of the club. Maybe people noticed. Maybe they didn’t. I can’t bring myself to care. I just want to go home with this man.

And I do.

* * *

ELI

We’re having sleepy morning sex when my phone buzzes. It’s the best kind of sex. Mackenzie’s in front of me on her side, her body warm and inviting, so tight as I slide in and out of her. I’m kissing her neck, her jaw, whispering in her ear how beautiful she is.

She lets out little soft breaths as I circle her with my finger. I loved last night – the part when we got home and she danced for me. We fucked on the floor like animals and it felt like an apology. She said it too. That she was sorry for making me feel bad.

It was enough.

This morning feels like heaven. If I ever end up there, this is how I want every morning to be. Soft and warm and sensual.

Making love to my girl.

Without the damn phone that keeps vibrating.

“You want to get that?” Mackenzie looks over her shoulder. Her lips are swollen from how much we kissed last night. Her cheeks are pink from how much I’m rubbing her this morning.

“Nope.”

It buzzes again, damn it. I snatch it up and groan. The brother’s group chat.

Why didn’t I turn my phone off when we went to sleep?

“Problems?” Mackenzie asks, her voice ragged.

This time I turn it off. “No. Just assholes.”

She giggles, and it does amazing things to my dick. I’m going to have to make her laugh when I’m inside of her more often. I kiss her throat again, moving my other hand to her breasts, sliding slowly in and out of her like we have all the time in the world.

Hearing her breath hitch is my jam. Making her cry out my name is my life’s work. Feeling her come reminds me, again, that I’d like to die like this.

Inside Mackenzie Hunter. Feeling her orgasm around me.

I take my time, riding out her pleasure, letting it mix with my own. When I finally come inside of her, it feels like every cell in my body is on fire. She turns to kiss me, and it’s awkward as fuck because she’s still facing away, but I love it anyway.

I clean her up – because that’s also my thing – then I get back into bed and pull her against me. I’m sleepy again. It’s the weekend and we deserve to rest, damn it.

But then she looks up at me. “Do you want to reply to that message?”

“What message?”

“The one that made your phone go crazy.”

I blink. My brothers. Damn. Exactly the people I don’t want to be thinking about right now.

“It’s okay, it’s probably Holden.”

“Your doctor brother?”

“That’s the one.” I nod. “He’s in town for my nephew’s birthday party. He’s probably pissed that I’m not there today.”

Her mouth drops open. “You’re missing your nephew’s birthday party?”

I try not to laugh at her expression of horror. “No, that’s tomorrow. But Holden came for the weekend. I’m guessing it’s one of his rare times off.”

“Then you should go be with him.”

“I want to be with you.” I’m not going anywhere. Not today, anyway. I’m going to nap and fuck and maybe eventually the two of us will get up. “Anyway, the party’s tomorrow. I’ll see them all then.”

“That’s nice.” She smiles. “I bet they’ll be happy to see you.”

I stroke her hair. “Come with me.”

Mackenzie blinks. “What?”

“Come with me to the party. Meet my family.” It’s weird how much I want her to say yes. I want her there with me. I want her to meet my brothers and their wives. She’s becoming important to me. I don’t want to hide this thing away anymore.

“I want to.” She doesn’t look sure though. “But won’t I be intruding?”

I laugh.

“What?” she asks.

“You haven’t met my family. It’s one big intrusion.” It takes me five minutes, but I manage to explain how Myles, Liam, Holden, and I have one mom, while Brooks and Linc have another, and then we have a little sister from my dad’s latest wife.

“And your mom and your dad’s other wives are best friends?” she asks. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. They go on vacations together. They celebrate holidays as one big happy family. It’s weird.”

“But also nice. You don’t have to choose between them.” She draws a circle with her finger on my bare chest. “All my friends with divorced parents hated the holidays. Being shuttled from one house to another.”

I look at her. “How about you? Do you hate holidays?”

“I love them. They were the one time of year that we were all in the same place.”

“You said that in the past tense,” I point out.

“Well, for the last three years, I’ve kind of worked through the holidays. We had this huge project and most of the other consultants have families. I volunteered to cover things while they traveled home.” She doesn’t look unhappy about it. “Brad and Johnny barely get time off during the season, anyway. And Mom and Dad and Isabella have been busy with their Holiday specials for the last couple of years.”

I keep forgetting her parents and her sister are on TV. I so rarely watch it. I make a note to check it out. I’m curious about them all.

“Well you get to spend one day with my family,” I tell her. “That should put you off holidays for good.”

She laughs. “I’m looking forward to it.”

The weird thing is she sounds like she means it. The even weirder thing is that I’m looking forward to it as well.

“What do you want to do about my family?” I ask her.

She blinks. “What do you mean?”

“You want to pretend we’re just friends?” I don’t like it, but I’ll do it for her if I have to.

“No.” She shakes her head. “Let’s do this right.” She looks at me. “Whatever this is.”

“You know what it is,” I say, tracing her jaw with my fingertip.

“Do I?” She breathes softly as my finger reaches her lips. She’s always so skittish. And if I’m being truthful, I like the challenge. I like the chase.

And I like to win. Always.

She flicks my finger with her tongue and I groan.

“You’re mine,” I tell her. “That’s what it is.”

She sucks me in and I’m gone. I pull my hand away and grab her hips, hitching her up until she’s straddling me. “These lips,” I say, sitting up and brushing her mouth with my own. “Mine.”

I kiss down her throat and her chest, to the swell of her breasts. “These are mine, too.”

And I pull her into my favorite position. Thighs pressed against my cheeks, her hands braced against the headboard.

“And this?” I mutter. “Mine too.” I slide my tongue along her seam, and she clenches her thighs.

“Eli…”

“Shut up and let me eat my breakfast.”

And for once – to my surprise – she does.