Strictly for Now by Carrie Elks

CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR

MACKENZIE

My sister stares at me, her perfectly formed brows pulled together. “I don’t get it. Why don’t you want them to know I’m your sister?”

Isabella arrived this morning with a camera team. For the last hour she’s been sitting in my office getting her makeup and hair done. It’s been kind of distracting trying to write a letter to the IRS while listening to discussions on what lip color will contrast best with the ice.

And now it’s just the two of us in here, and I’m finally able to talk to her about this stupid situation I’ve gotten myself into. If I’m being honest, I’m regretting the whole thing. Just goes to show that little lies never stay little.

“They just don’t know. I didn’t want them to.” I pinch the top of my nose because I caused this mess. “It’s complicated.” And I’m already wishing I didn’t start this conversation. “Can you just do this for me?”

“So what’s our backstory?” she asks. “Have we met before? Are we complete strangers?”

She’s wearing a pink skating dress that skims her perfect curves. It’s amazing how much she and mom look alike. I take after my dad with dark hair instead of blonde, and hazel eyes not green.

“Do we need a backstory?” I ask. “It’s just for a couple of days.”

“But I’m staying with you.”

“I know.” She isn’t going to stop until I’ve made up an entire story for her. It reminds me of when we were little, and even though she was the oldest, it was always my job to read us both to sleep. “Okay, we’ve met before. And we’ve been talking a lot on the phone, so we’ve kind of bonded and are going to spend more time together.”

“So we’re like best friends?” she asks. “I love that.”

There’s a weird lump in my throat. “Yes, friends.”

She takes my hand. “I won’t betray you,” she says, and it makes my chest feel strange. “I’ll make them believe me. I’ll give the best performance of my life.”

“You don’t need to do that. Just don’t let the cat out of the bag. Not now.”

“Will you ever tell them?” she asks. And now I’m feeling bad again. I like the guys on the team. It seemed like a good idea to be professional when I first arrived, but now I wish I’d been honest.

Even if I had to pay the price.

“I’ll tell them after this weekend.” When my whole family – entourage and all – have left.

“Isabella?” Somebody knocks on the door. “The cameras are set up and Justin is ready.” They want to record their practice to air clips of on Ice Stars, before they do their live performance later in the week.

“Are you coming down to watch?” she asks. “As a friend?”

“Okay. Yes.” I nod. “You go ahead and I’ll be there in a minute.”

She beams at me. “Thank you. I’ll feel much better knowing you’re there.” She grabs her skate bag and checks herself in the mirror the makeup artist brought with her. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck. You’ve got this.” I go to hug her, but she turns away at the last minute, leaving me holding out my arms like a zombie. Pulling them back to my side, I watch as she leaves, before I grab the filming schedule the production person gave me, looking over it.

The morning is starting off with Isabella and Justin doing their dance practice. Then they’ll get the team on the ice for her to teach them some dance moves – I guess that’s the comic relief that will contrast nicely with the testosterone of the hockey game.

Eli’s been a complete sport about moving things around to accommodate Isabella and the cameras. I apologized profusely – again – and he just laughed it off.

It’s only been two days since we left Misty Lakes and I already miss it. I miss the ease of our time together. The way we bared our souls to each other. I miss being real with him, because I now realize I haven’t been real in a long, long time.

Yes, I’ve been successful at work, and that’s been great. But my love life and family life have been a mess.

It’s time to change all that.

By the time I get to the rink, Isabella and Justin have already started practicing. I take a seat halfway up the bleachers, far enough away not to be caught on camera, and watch my sister tame the ice.

She’s so graceful it makes my heart hurt. There’s nothing more beautiful than seeing Isabella execute a perfect triple axel before she lands as soft as a snowflake back on the firm surface of the ice.

I try not to think about my stupid efforts to get across the rink and back without falling over. But then I remember Eli taking his top off for me and I can’t help but smile. It’s okay that I’m not good at this. I’m good at other things.

And my life is better because Eli is in it.

The whole team is watching her from the tunnel. Goran is grinning and saying something to Carter. Then I see Eli watching her and that tightness in my chest increases.

Is he comparing her performance on the ice to mine? I know he would never say it, but maybe he’s wondering how we came from the same parents. I sometimes wonder that myself.

After an hour of them performing the same routine, they finally call it a day. Isabella and Justin grab a drink and talk rapidly to each other, while the director walks over to talk to the team.

They all nudge each other, then Eli leans forward to say something to Goran whose face immediately turns serious.

And then the director says something to Eli, and he shakes his head.

Isabella joins them, pulling her skates off as she shakes each of their hands. I can’t see her face, but I can see her talking to Eli and dammit, I’m jealous.

Stupidly so.

And also annoyed because this situation is down to me. I asked her not to tell the team we’re related. I also asked Eli not to tell them about our relationship.

Every time the team laughs at something Isabella says I feel like I’m poking at an open wound. All those years of therapy and success at work, yet I’m still jealous of my sister.

I hate that.

But it also tells me something I think I’ve known for a while.

I’m falling for Eli Salinger. And I don’t want to lose him because I’m an idiot and make stupid decisions about my personal life.

Goran is the first to take to the ice with Isabella. He’s wearing his full hockey gear, save for his helmet, which I assume wouldn’t look so good for the promos. He looks huge next to Isabella, like he’s Shrek and she’s Fiona. Somebody puts on some music and they skate around the ice.

Slowly Goran warms up. She shows him a move, and he replicates it perfectly. Then she takes his hands and puts them on her waist and they skate around together.

After he does an impressive toe jump, the rest of the team gets competitive. One by one, they dance with Isabella, some of them more effectively than others. Then they call Eli’s name, and he shakes his head again. Isabella beckons to him so Goran and Carter drag him onto the ice.

My phone rings. I grab it too late, and I know I’ve ruined whatever take they’re doing with the cameras, because everybody looks up at me, including Eli.

I smile apologetically and stand, whispering to the caller – Rachel – to wait, and I’ll talk to her in a second.

Then I leave and the music starts up again. Somebody cheers and I don’t look back because I can only imagine that Eli is dancing with Isabella.

I trust him. I know he wouldn’t do anything. But I still hate it.

“Sorry about that. What’s up?” I say.

“I don’t know. I just got a weird feeling and wanted to check that you’re okay.”

My sister’s dancing on the ice like a princess with my boyfriend that nobody knows about. My family is about to descend on the town and nobody knows I’m related to them. Oh, and I’m getting stupidly jealous when I should know better.

“I’m fine,” I tell her. “Really. Catch me up on what’s going on in New York.”

* * *

ELI

It’s getting late and I haven’t seen Mackenzie all day. Practice was nonstop – the team’s completely energized about the game on Saturday, and they pushed themselves harder and faster than I’ve ever seen them during a match week.

They’re making me proud. Even Goran and Carter calmed down after having fun on the ice this morning. And yeah, it was funny watching them try to dance with Mac’s sister, who by the way looks nothing like her.

But this afternoon was all business. They’re determined to give the All-star team a run for their money.

Once they’ve left for the evening I check my watch. I have an hour before I’m due to meet my brother and his wife for dinner and I want nothing more than to see Mackenzie for five minutes because it’s been a long damn day.

“Eli.” The voice that calls my name isn’t the one I want to hear. But Isabella is Mac’s sister so I smile anyway.

Even if she doesn’t know I know.

“Hi,” I say, stopping a few feet short of where she’s standing outside the locker room. “I thought you finished practice a while ago.”

“I did, but I had a few retakes to do.” Her smile is wide. “Thank you for all your support today. I’m sure the last thing you want to do is give up your practice time for some stupid show.”

“It’s fine. We got practice in this afternoon.” She knows this. “And the guys enjoyed themselves.” I scan her face for any resemblance to my girl but I can’t see it. I guess it’s like me and Holden. We couldn’t be more different.

“How about you?” she asks.

“What?” I blink my thoughts away.

“Did you enjoy watching me?” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. Red lights flash in my eyes. Shit, did she think I was flirting when I was watching her?

Danger, Will Robinson. This is not good.

“You’re a good dancer,” I say, checking my watch again, exaggeratedly so she gets the message. “I need to go, I’m late.”

“Oh, I was wondering if you’d like to come to dinner with me.”

“I’m busy,” I tell her. “That’s what I’m late for. I need to meet my brother.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize I didn’t say no.

Fuck. I start to tell her that’s what I meant but she beats me to it.

“Oh I didn’t mean tonight. I’m busy too.” She smiles widely. “We could do tomorrow though, if I can get out of a family meal.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to think of a good excuse that doesn’t involve telling her I’m in a relationship with her sister. Mac would hate that. She looked so happy in my cabin shower when she told me she was going to tell her family about us after the game.

I don’t want to take that away from her.

“It’s not a good idea,” I say, shifting my feet. But I don’t want to alienate her either. She’s Mac’s sister, after all. “But good luck with the show.”

She doesn’t blink an eyelid. In fact, she smiles. “No problem,” she says. “It was just a thought.”

“Have a good night,” I tell her.

“You too.” She turns and walks away, her hips swinging. And there’s a tugging at my gut, because I need to tell Mac about this. Her sister hitting on me is not a good thing, even if I’ve nipped it in the bud.

I wanted to tell her I was taken. I wanted to tell her I’m falling for Mac. But I couldn’t and I don’t like that.

Letting out a sigh, I head up to see my girl, thinking that if we’d been open about everything from the start we wouldn’t have this problem.

I don’t do lies and I don’t do secrets. And yet here I am, doing both.

* * *

It takes me ten minutes and a text to find her. I’m skulking around the hallways of the office block like a teenage boy sneaking into his girlfriend’s house. Eventually she meets me in the staff room, which is thankfully empty. There’s a big ass smile on her face when she walks in and closes the door behind her, flipping the lock for privacy.

Then she walks over and curls her body around mine and I feel like I’ve come home.

Leaning down, I kiss her hard. She’s mine. I’m hers. We just need to stop fucking around and do this.

“I missed you,” she says breathlessly when we stop. “How was your day?”

“Long. Yours?” I stroke the hair out of her face. She wears it down more often now and I like it.

“Weird. I had a bit of an epiphany,” she says. “I was watching Isabella on the ice and got stupidly jealous. I don’t know if it was because she looked so amazing, or how the team seemed to melt to goo when they were with her, but whatever it was,” she waves her hand. “I realized I’m being stupid.”

“There’s no way you should be jealous of her,” I say.

“I know, but I was. I even felt sick when I saw her talking to you.”

I frown. “When did you see that?” I’m going to have to do this. Tell her and get it over with.

She puts her hand on my chest. “This morning, but it doesn’t matter. I realized that I’ve been letting old history come between us. She was so sweet to me this morning, and I kept thinking about that. How many times has she tried to be my friend and I’ve pushed her away? I’m tired of hiding because I’m scared of being vulnerable around her.”

I swallow but there’s no moisture in my mouth.

“She even agreed to not tell anybody she’s my sister. And it’s only afterward I realized it must hurt her. It’s like I’m rejecting her, and I shouldn’t do that.” She tips her head to the side, looking so earnest it hurts. “We’re going to have a girls’ night tonight,” she says. “The kind of night we should have had years ago. Just us and some face masks and cocktails. We’ll watch a stupid romcom and giggle and I can’t tell you how excited I am about that.”

“That’s good,” I mutter.

“Yeah. We’re picking up the stuff on the way home.” She looks so excited.

And I realize I can’t tell her about the way Isabella came onto me. Because she’s so damn excited that she’s getting her sister back.

And I want that for her. My family is pretty much everything to me. She deserves to have the same experience with her sister and brothers. I’m not going to be the one to mess that up. Especially since her sister doesn’t know we’re together.

If she did, that would be different. But she made an innocent mistake.

She’ll probably laugh about this once everything’s out in the open.

“I’m glad you’re reconnecting,” I say, deciding to keep the details about her sister to myself for a few more days. “Family is important.”

“Yeah.” She nods. “I’m starting to see that.” She loops her arms around my neck, her warm eyes catching mine. “Thank you for helping me understand how important they are.”

“How did I do that?” I’m genuinely confused.

“Just watching you with your brothers. Seeing how they plastered your cabin with that photo. It’s just…” She shakes her head. “It just means something. Having people who are always on your side.”

“Yeah,” I say, my voice thick. “It does.”

She brushes her soft lips against mine. “I’m going to miss you tonight.”

“I’ll miss you more,” I tell her.

“Can I call you later?” she asks. “When you get back from dinner?”

I curl my hand around her neck and kiss her hard. “You’d better.”