Hateful by Eden Beck

Chapter Sixteen

It would probably bea good idea to let some space grow between Heath and I, just to be safe. But even if that had been my intention, it seems fate has other plans when Heath is assigned as my lab partner in our very next class.

Now we have no choice but to spend even more time together. For once, I don’t mind being paired with a member of The Brotherhood.

Beck isn’t in this class, thankfully, but Jasper is—and he gets paired with Rafael, who looks a little flustered. I’m pretty sure it’s because of the way Jasper’s jawline looks ready to cut the next person who gets too close. The next time Jasper isn’t looking, I shoot a wicked grin over at Rafael.

Rafael’s a sucker for blue eyes, and Jasper’s are the bluest I’ve ever seen.

Almost blue enough to make up for how rude he is, a fact I can overhear even all the way across class.

“We gonna get started?” Heath asks cheerfully as I bring my books over to his table. Behind me, I can practically hear the color rising in Rafael’s cheeks with each one of Jasper’s muttered words.

“Yeah.” I settle into the chair next to Heath and pull the lab instructions out of the packet of papers the professor has given us. “Iodine staining, huh?”

“Have you done this before?”

“Once. With an onion cell.” I flip through a few of the papers. “Nothing this in-depth.”

“Yeah, looks like they’re giving us a bunch of things to stain.” He reaches toward the microscope on the other end of the table, meaning he has to reach past me. He leans closer than necessary, almost across my lap with his shoulder brushing my chest. Then he pulls away to sit correctly … but not before a shiver runs through my entire body.

Keep your head in the right place, girl.

We get to work on the lab, very delicately dropping bits of iodine onto the cells we’re supposed to be viewing before gently placing the covers over the slides. It’s not difficult work, but it is tedious.

Heath keeps finding ways to touch me, and after what Rafael said earlier, I realize that he’s been doing this kind of thing for a while—we just have never been in close proximity long enough for me to realize how purposeful it is.

When he gives me the iodine bottle, his fingertips brush ever so gently against mine. He leans over my shoulder to watch me put the slides together and breathes gently into my hair. When he wants something that’s near me, he doesn’t ask for it; he just reaches over me or around me, his skin brushing mine, to pluck it up and whisk it away.

“We running today?” he asks quietly as I fiddle with a flea on a slide.

“I was planning on it,” I tell him as nonchalantly as I can manage. I glance over at Rafael’s table as if just looking at my friend will give me some guidance. I can’t tell just how well the lab work is going, but he and Jasper seem to be getting along okay, if not a bit awkwardly. “So if you want to come, you can.”

He gives me a little sideways smile, which I return as I feel a blush creep to my cheeks. When I glance back over at Jasper and Rafael, Rafael’s eyes are fixed on me. He’s giving me that annoyingly smug look he wears when he knows he’s right.

“Go ahead and start packing,” the professor calls from the front of the room, surprising me since I’d thought the class was far from over. Here with Heath, the hour and a half of class time passed it what felt like mere minutes. “We’ll continue this lab next time. Make sure you put everything away correctly,” he stresses as a loud flurry of activity follows his words. “And label everything, too. It’s your responsibility to remember where you are.”

No one answers him, but I double-check to make sure I’ve labeled all the slides we’ve done. I’ve had enough ‘mishaps’ this year to know if I don’t, I’ll be doubly surprised when something turns up wrong.

Heath comes to stand next to me and places his hand on the small of my back as he leans down to read the list of instructions. I’ve placed a check mark next to each step we’ve completed in the list, which Heath trails a finger down one by one as he reads.

“We’re more than halfway done,” he says cheerfully.

“I guess so.”

He doesn’t remove his hand until he has to step away to put away the microscope. I shiver a little again, tingles racing across the surface of my skin as he drags his fingers gently across my back for a moment. He notices and grins.

He grins.

Shit. What am I doing?

I watch as Heath clears up his portion of the table. He thinks I’m a boy, but that doesn’t change the fact that I like him. There’s no getting around that fact now. He’s been really nice to me lately, and every time Beck starts to do something to me, he’s started to find a way to turn it back around on him. And he’s hot, of course. That certainly helps.

Or hurts, depending on how you look at it.

I grab my backpack and swing it over my shoulder as we finish cleaning up. The bell rings, and there’s a surge of activity as everyone gets to their feet, eager to leave.

“See you later,” I tell Heath, slipping into the crowd behind Rafael and letting it carry me away.

“You two seem pretty cozy,” Rafael says once he allows me to catch up. I shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah. I think we are.” I can’t help but feel of two minds about Heath’s shows of affection. If he’s gay … wouldn’t that mean I’m dishonest? Leading him on? But on the other hand, I do like him. He’s so good-looking. I never could have imagined that someone as hot as him could be interested in me.

He’s not,I remind myself. He’s interested in boy Alex.

I purse my lips. “Well, what about you and Jasper? How did that go?”

Rafael rolls his eyes. “He’s hot. He’s rich. He’s smart. And he’s lazy—I prepared most of the slides. All he did was stare at you and Heath.”

My stomach churns as I shoot him a serious glance.

“Yeah, he seemed pretty pissed off.”

Inwardly, I wonder who’s going to get the brunt of that—me, or Heath? Probably me. That’s how it’s usually been, anyway.

Rafael spots Neville in the hallway and waves at him. Neville begins pushing through the crowd enthusiastically in our direction. He’s become a regular fixture now. If I really think about it, I’d say he and I are getting almost as close as me and Rafael.

But we’ll never be as close.

Not until Neville learns who I really am. And then that would all depend on whether or not he still wants to talk to me at all afterwards.

A sudden, solid pit forms in the middle of my stomach. I’d not thought of that before. How many friends am I going to alienate when the truth eventually comes out … because it will, won’t it? Maybe not until after we graduate. Maybe not until years later when I run into one of them at school or work or a reunion …

I wonder if they’ll even acknowledge me.

Will they even recognize me? Will they even care?

Beside me Rafael checks his watch and swears softly before glancing up at Neville, who’s almost reached us.

“We have our next class together,” he offers by way of explanation. “I think we’re already going to be late.”

I nod. “Sure. I’ll head off, then.”

I’m not the only one struggling with classes, even if most of my problems are thanks to Jasper and his friends. I feel a pang of guilt at dragging Rafael into my drama once again, but he doesn’t even seem to notice.

“See you at dinner?”

“Yeah. See ya, Neville,” I add as he comes within earshot. Neville waves in answer, then falls in beside Rafael.

I head through the sea of students toward my next class, stomach pulsing uncomfortably. And now to see Heath again, and this time outside of our professor’s watchful eye.

Or Jasper’s jealous one.

* * *

Heath looksup in mild surprise when I round the trail bend to meet him. “You’re getting faster,” he says.

“Good.”

I grin at him as he joins me, and we head off into the trees, our feet pounding down the half-melted snow.

I don’t bring a watch or my phone with me out on these runs, so I haven’t exactly been timing them, but I think Heath is right. It seems like it’s been taking less and less time to get to the break tree. Today I sit down next to Heath. He smiles at me as I do, bumping me with his elbow.

“You beat me here,” he says with a laugh.

“It’s not a race.”

But I feel a little smug anyway.

He leans back on his hands, tilting his head back to soak in the afternoon sun. “But would you be interested in a race?”

“Right now?”

“Right now, or … next month, at the next competition event.”

I feel my glare turn sharp as I look at him. “What are you talking about?”

He holds up his hands defensively. “Look—they haven’t announced it to the whole school yet, but the next event is a relay race. And we need four people—”

I stop him right there.

“No,” I say firmly.

“—but we’ve only got three—”

“No.”

“—and you’ve been training this whole time. Please, Alex! You wouldn’t even have to do much.”

I take a step back from him and cross my arms across my chest, waiting until he’s forced to look directly at me before I speak again. “Are you kidding me? I’d have to practice with you. All three of you … you know that?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, but—”

“And you’ve seen the way Beck has been lately,” I say.

“But he won’t—”

I cannot roll my eyes hard enough. “No. No way, no how. Get one of the lacrosse guys to do it. Isn’t there a track and field team? Get them to do it.” I stand up, brushing dirty snow from my pants, and move to step away.

But Heath doesn’t just let me go.

He grabs my wrist, his grip too firm for me to yank immediately free. “Alex,” he says softly.

I look down at him and he’s staring back up at me with an intense look in his eyes that I can’t quite name. I don’t know what to say. His face is so perfect and sincere that part of me wants to just give in.

“Just consider it?” he asks. “I’d rather it be you.”

My resolve wavers. “I don’t know,” I say, tugging my arm halfheartedly, not quite taking it from Heath’s grasp. His fingertips linger on the back of my hand. “What’s in it for me?”

“I could get Beck to stop bullying you,” he says immediately.

I snort. “If you’d just do that, then I probably would’ve said yes the first time.” But I do think about it. If Jasper can’t stop it on his own, then maybe when Heath’s on his side … both of them together might be able to do it. “There have to be faster people,” I still add.

“Not people who can run really consistently on a curve,” Heath replies crisply. “We’ll need someone for the third leg. You’ve been running on curving hiking trails and keeping a good, consistent speed the whole way.”

“You’ve been judging how I run?”

It’s his turn to blush, and I can’t help but think it’s adorable. “I’ve been thinking of asking you ever since we were told about the relay race. You’re my first choice.”

Warmth blossoms in my stomach and flows up to my chest despite me trying to stifle it. Damn Heath and his flattery. I look away. “I’ll think about it.”

He squeezes my arm and gets to his feet.

“Awesome. I’ll tell the guys tomorrow.” He takes off running toward our usual leg of the trail.

“Wait!” I yell after him; I pull my gloves back on and start chasing him. “I said I’ll think about it! That doesn’t mean yes!”

He throws a laugh over his shoulder and I grin and speed up, overtaking him, and we race each other to our next break.

I win.

At least it’s something.