Fortunate Son by Jay Crownover

Bowe

I WAS NERVOUS.

More nervous than I had been before I got on stage to open for a well-known artist. More nervous than I was when I told the band I didn’t want to play with them anymore. More nervous than I was before my first talent show in high school. More nervous than I was when I told my mother I didn’t want to stay in college. And more nervous than I was before the first time I hooked up with Ry and the second time I decided to let him have a shot at winning me over.

I couldn’t believe those butterflies I was chasing were now having a dance party in my belly. I kept having to wipe my sweaty palms on the back pockets of my shorts, and it took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to fidget nervously as I answered the questions Remy’s friend asked me. The owner of the bar was younger than I expected, around Remy’s age, but she seemed to know her stuff when it came to the local music scene. I was relieved she didn’t ask me about my previous band or my dad. It took some of the pressure off. All she wanted to know was what kind of music I liked to play and what inspired me. She had the same quirky, carefree aura as Remy. It was easy to see why they were friends. She was doing her best to put me at ease, but there was no way I was going to chill out. She had no idea how much was riding on this simple audition for me. She had no clue I was at a major turning point in my life, and if I didn’t make it through today, I was going to have to seriously reassess everything I thought I knew about myself and my plans for the future. And that would really, really suck.

“Go ahead and sit on the stage. The room usually holds around two-hundred people on a busy night. Not too big, but not too small either. It’s a great place to try out new stuff in front of a pretty openminded crowd. I try to have live music at least three times a week, sometimes more during the summer. I usually have two different musicians each night, and I prefer they have completely different sounds. I like variety, and I have eclectic taste. I bring back the most popular acts several times a month. We have a reputation for being the launching point for some pretty big names in the indie music scene.” She sounded and looked proud of the fact.

I rubbed my hands together anxiously and reached for my guitar case. “This place sounds amazing. It reminds me of some of the more popular venues in Austin. I’m not surprised Remy likes to hang out here when she’s in town.”

The other woman’s eyes widened, and she shook her head quickly. “Oh, Remy doesn’t hang out here. I know her through her dad. I used to work at one of his bars when I was younger. I started out in the kitchen, and eventually worked my way up to managing the whole bar. When the previous owners of this place wanted to sell, Remy’s dad was already considering buying it and turning it into a live music venue. I asked him if he would let me be his business partner because it was always my dream to have a place where I could help give underrated musicians a chance to play for an audience. My mom is a failed singer-songwriter, so it’s something I’m passionate about. I was lucky he took a chance on me and believed in me. In a couple more years, I’ll be able to pay him back fully and own this place outright. I’ve known Remy since she was a teenager and working on the weekends at her dad’s different businesses. She pops in to bartend for me every now and then when she’s in town or in search of a quick buck. We help each other out, no questions asked.” Which was exactly why I’d gotten this chance to play for her on such short notice.

“Loyalty is one of the Archers’ strengths. If you’re good to one of them, the rest will take care of you for an eternity.” I took a deep breath and started toward the stairs to the small stage. It was cute and quaint. Like she said, it felt like a perfect fit.

As I situated myself in front of the microphone, Remy’s friend, Suzy, positioned herself at a tall table. She had a tablet in front of her and was tapping on the screen, but I didn’t get the feeling that she was tuning me out. It was more likely she was loading a recording app or getting ready to take notes. It was pretty informal as auditions went, but I could tell she was very serious about picking and choosing who she let play at her bar.

I closed my eyes briefly and let the familiar weight of the guitar in my hands settle some of my nerves. I’d always dreamed of being on stage. It didn’t matter what size the platform was; this was the place I always wanted to be. I hit the first few chords without opening my eyes. I let the music flow through me. Once the song started to take shape under my fingers, most of my anxiety started to slip away. There was no noise from other instruments crowding my words and the feelings buried in each lyric. The notes were clear and sharp; the song finally sounded the way I wanted it to, the way it was meant to from the start.

When I opened my eyes, the bar owner was no longer alone.

Remy was propped up on the same table opposite her, and Daire was leaning against the big windows at the back of the space with her phone in her hands. I caught Ry’s little sister’s eye, and she gave me a little wave with the hand that wasn’t holding her phone. She also flashed me an encouraging thumbs up at the same time Remy clapped her hands together.

There were only three people in the room, but they felt like the most important audience I was ever going to play for.

I forgot about trying to impress my famous father.

I forgot about trying to make it big so my mom wouldn’t worry about me.

I let go of the idea that I had to prove something to anyone other than myself, and I just played my music the way it was meant to be played.

I sang songs about first love and heartbreak. My voice bled with feeling and emotion as I belted out tales of youth and how hard it was to be caught between thinking you knew everything, but really knowing nothing at all. Instead of upbeat and jaunty, the songs were slow and soulful, my voice filling the space in a way that surprised even me. I thought I would feel alone, and the venue empty without a band backing me, but I was enough… exactly like Ry told me I would be.

I made sure to play a song that was a little more up-tempo and another one that had a folksy-bluesy sound. I wanted to cover all my bases since the owner said she had eclectic taste. Before I knew it, thirty minutes had gone by, much longer than a typical audition. When I finally dropped the guitar and let it hang from the strap, all three women in the room with me cheered and clapped. Remy even stomped her feet and put her fingers in her mouth to let out a shrill whistle. It was more satisfying and rewarding than the hundreds of people screaming at the last gig.

I bent over to take a playful bow and lift a shaky hand to my face. My cheek was wet. I wasn’t aware that I had cried while playing, but it didn’t surprise me. Today was cathartic. Ry was right. Not even trying was a different type of failure. If I hadn’t put myself out there, if I hadn’t tried, I would’ve failed myself, and that was even scarier than the idea of letting my parents down.

I put my guitar in its case and jumped down off the stage instead of taking the stairs. Remy immediately squealed and darted across the big, open room so she could wrap me up in a bear hug.

“I’m so proud of you. That was amazing. You’ve never sounded better, Bowe.” She put her hands on my cheeks and used her thumbs to wipe away the moisture left by the unnoticed tears. “You were meant to be a star, my friend.”

I laughed a little but leaned in to hug her because my knees were weak, and I was back to being a bit unsteady. “It was scary, but I’m glad I did it.”

I grunted as Daire launched herself at both of us and wrapped us up in her arms, so all three of us were holding onto one another. “I’m so glad I got to see you play, Bowe. I know you were worried about being a solo act, but you killed it. You don’t need anyone else up there with you.”

She sounded just like her brother, but I appreciated the encouragement and her unfiltered candor.

“How would you know if I killed it or not? You were on your phone the entire time.” I was just teasing her, but Daire looked offended as soon as the words left my mouth.

She waved her phone in front of me and gave me a haughty look. “I was recording so I could send the video to someone who couldn’t make it but wanted to make sure he didn’t miss anything.”

My eyebrows shot upward as we broke apart and stood together in a small circle. “Ry asked you to record my audition?” I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was.

Daire nodded, which sent her nearly white ponytail flipping around in a very sassy way. “Yeah. He messaged me last night and asked if I was free. When I told him I was, he bugged Remy to bring me along so I could record you and send it to him. He’s got practice and some kind of team meeting today, but he still wanted to be here in some small way.”

“Oh, that was nice of him.” It really was. And maybe after he watched the video his sister sent him, he would realize he was always with me when I performed, regardless if he was in the building or not, because most of my songs were about him in one way or another. I couldn’t have gotten on that stage without his encouragement or his endless inspiration he gave me through his mere existence and our life experiences.

Daire grinned at me and gave me a knowing look. “He’s going to be blown away by your performance.”

“Even if he’s not, whoever ‘he’ is, I assure you I was.” I stepped away from my friends as the bar owner joined us. She bumped Remy’s shoulder lightly as she gave me a bright smile. “You sounded amazing, and Remy was absolutely right that you would fit right in with the line-up I already have booked for the summer. I would love to have you play here, Bowe.”

“I…” needed a minute because I was overwhelmed with both gratitude and pride. “I would be honored to play for you and your customers.” This felt like the perfect place to get my feet wet and figure out how to be a solo act now that I was committing to getting up on that stage alone each and every time I performed.

Remy’s friend clapped her hands excitedly and told me she would send me the standard contract she used for all her performers. The four of us chatted a little longer before Daire piped up with a suggestion.

“This place is pretty close to Dad’s downtown shop. We should swing by and see if he’ll ditch work and treat us to an early dinner.” She rubbed her hands at the prospect and looked between Remy and me for approval. “I’m sure he’d love to see you both while you’re in town. You know he’ll spoil us if we give him the chance.”

I was ready to agree when Remy’s expression switched from cheerful and excited to something remote and distant. “You two can go. I’ll pass. I’ll stick around and grab something with Suzy as a thank you for getting you in today.” She motioned to her friend, who was now moving around the bar, clearly getting it ready to open for dinner.

Daire gave her cousin a hard look before letting out an irritated sigh. “Your mom isn’t there, Remy. She only works on Tuesdays and Thursdays, plus the occasional weekend. She’s busy doing all the accounting for your dad’s businesses. She hasn’t been at either shop much lately, which you would know if you spoke to her more than once a month and didn’t argue every single time you did.” The younger woman sniffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Both Daire and Remy had the death stare down pat. It was obvious neither would give, so I broke it up by grabbing Daire and turning her toward the door.

“We can meet up with your dad another time. Tonight, let’s celebrate with just the three of us. I haven’t gotten to spend much time with either of you since I’ve been here.” Remy was always up to something, and when she wasn’t running around town, she was working. Daire was busy getting everything situated before she started college and moved into the dorms. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with her friends before they were all separated, and she was a popular girl. I wondered if her brother had any idea how much time she had spent stringing along cute teenage boys.

Remy visibly relaxed when the prospect of bumping into her mom was off the table. She told me to grab my guitar while she went to say goodbye to her friend. We left picking a restaurant up to Daire since she was most familiar with what was around us.

Once Remy was out of earshot, I pulled Daire toward the stage with me and whispered, “What in the hell is going on with her and her mom?” I thought Remy and I shared everything with one another, but I was clueless why she was suddenly so hostile and combative toward her tiny mother.

Daire made an annoyed sound and shrugged in a way that reminded me of her brother. “I don’t know the exact details, but something happened the last time she was here in Denver. I tried to pry the details out of Zowen, but you know, it’s the brother’s job to protect his sister no matter what. I do know Hyde was home on leave at the same time, so I’ve always figured it has something to do with that, but Remy isn’t saying, and all the parents are deflecting.”

“Wow. I had no idea. Is she acting so cold toward her dad as well?” I couldn’t see her big, brawny father letting that behavior fly. Not that it made much sense that her mother was allowing Remy to give her the cold shoulder either. Whatever went down must’ve been BIG.

“I’m not sure. She was always a bit of a daddy’s girl, but when it comes to Hyde, she goes nuts. It’s hard to predict why she does anything when he’s involved. I thought it would get better when he deployed, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I honestly wasn’t sure she was ever going to come back to Colorado. I’m so glad you decided to chase after my brother. It feels like you brought everything back together and made it how it’s supposed to be.”

I threw my free arm over her shoulders and pulled her close enough that I could touch the side of our heads together. “I missed you. I missed everyone here. I shouldn’t have stayed away as long as I did.”

“I blame my brother. He wasn’t as careful as he should’ve been. You’re the one thing in his life he’s ever been reckless with, and it blew up in his face.” She sighed and lifted her hands to pat her flat tummy. “I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”

“I was a little bit reckless with myself back then, so he’s not the only one to blame. Sometimes the timing for things needs to be right, or there’s no hope for them to ever work out.” And my timing always needed a little bit of work. “Hey, will you send me that video you recorded? I want to send it to my dad.” I wanted him to see that I managed to get up and play my songs on my own. It was finally a performance I was proud of. I would work really hard this summer and take full advantage of the opportunity I’d been given, so the next time he was in the crowd, he would see me fulfilling my dreams for real. I was positive he would be able to spot the difference.

Daire immediately started tapping away on her phone as we walked toward the door, waiting for Remy before stepping outside. The eldest Archer shouted a goodbye across the big bar as she hooked her arm through Daire’s on the other side, while simultaneously asking where we were eating like she hadn’t had a complete meltdown at the mention of her mother.

Something was going on with her, and I was going to make her give me the rundown even if she didn’t want to.

“Thank you for setting this up for me, Remy. It feels like you saved my life.”

She gave me a wink over the top of Daire’s very blond head. “No problem. I told you I would never stand back and let you waste your talent. I’ve got your back.”

She always had. And when she needed me to have hers, I would.