Fortunate Son by Jay Crownover

Ry

“HOW LONG HAS your shoulder been hurting?” My mom asked the question as she finished strategically wrapping kinetic tape around the front and back of my shoulder and down my bicep. I could see she was trying to keep her expression neutral and calm, but the way her forehead was furrowed, and the way she kept muttering under her breath, told me she was anything but.

I tried to shrug, but she’d taped up one side tight enough it didn’t move as easily as it should’ve.

“I played a little rougher than I should’ve before summer training. Uncle Rowdy tackled me, and I went down pretty hard, and then Dino took me out a couple weeks later. I got hit pretty good during training today, and it started acting up again. I keep landing on the same spot. It’s just dumb luck.” I tried to rotate the joint but didn’t get very far before pain shot all the way down my arm and into my fingertips.

“You should probably take some time off and let it heal fully.” She gave me a pointed look before moving to clean up the scattered medical supplies she’d gathered as soon as I showed up at home and told her I was having trouble moving my arm. Fortunately, I’d convinced Bowe to make the trip with me, so both my parents refrained from ripping me a new asshole in front of her. I think they were trying not to embarrass me, but the way my mom fussed over me was a bit mortifying anyway. “If you don’t, you might end up injured in the kind of way that will make it impossible for you to play long term. It might be a good idea for you to reach out to Orlando and see if he can set up a rehab program for you before your season starts.”

I dipped my chin in agreement and reached for the t-shirt I’d stripped off earlier. Orlando Fredrick was a friend of the family who had ties to my dad’s twin before he passed away. The guy worked on professional athletes, so I was lucky to have an in with him. If I didn’t, I’d never get in to see him over such a common injury. “I already left him a message and asked him to give me a call when he had a free minute.” I was stubborn and had no plans to quit playing, but I was also smart enough to know something was going on with my shoulder that could be a huge problem for me later on if I just ignored it.

I looked over to where Bowe was sitting with my dad at the big island, talking about her upcoming show. He told her about the first time her dad got up on stage in front of an audience and how horribly it went. Apparently, he got into an actual fistfight with his bass player before they even started a single song, and they were banned from performing in that venue ever again. He mentioned it took Jet a while to find with the perfect people to play music with, and reminded her that any form of art was always evolving and changing. It was up to the artist to adapt and grow along with it. The two of them got along well, and there wasn’t any of the struggle or awkwardness I experienced when I tried to chat with him.

Following the direction of my gaze, my mom patted my uninjured shoulder and lowered her head so she could speak softly into my ear and not be overheard by the other people in the kitchen.

“She’s even prettier now than she was when she was younger. She’s a perfect combination of her mom and dad. Ayden always says that she’s a mini-Jet, but now that she’s older and making big choices about life for herself, she reminds me so much of her mom. Ayden had the same kind of unwavering focus on her future, and she refused to fail. For what it’s worth, I always thought the two of you matched up well when it came to ambition and drive.”

I turned my head to look at my mom in surprise. “If you thought we matched well, why didn’t you ever say anything to me? Why didn’t you try and stop me when I decided to start dating Aston? I feel like everyone could see what my endgame was supposed to be except for me.”

My mom reached up and tugged on my ear and gave me a small smile. “I watched both those girls grow up. I wanted you and Daire to be close to all our friends’ kids. Your dad and I worked hard to build an extended family you would have surrounding you and supporting you forever. I wanted you to have the same kind of safety net he and I had. It didn’t really occur to me until you got older that those friendships might turn into something more. I didn’t want to influence you, because both girls are special in their own way. They are also very different, and what you needed from one at a certain point in your life might not be the same thing you needed from the other at a different time. As long as you were fair and honest and never purposely hurt either one, your dad and I agreed to stay out of it. As long as you never created a situation where we were going to have a conflict with their parents, we always figured it was best to let you kids figure out what you were doing on your own.” She laughed, which made her bright green eyes twinkle. “The funny thing is, your dad was ready to sit Wheeler down and have a chat with him after you disappeared. I always figured we would be the ones to apologize for you being careless with young love, not the other way around. I thought you would be a heartbreaker like your old man, not be the one who was heartbroken like me. You’re lucky I can still talk him off the ledge when I need to. He may not express himself the best, but you should know there isn’t anything he won’t do to protect you.”

“I think I’m like her.” I inclined my head toward Bowe. “A pretty good mix of both you and dad. I was an unaware heartbreaker before I was a member of the heartbroken club.” I would always regret that I underestimated how badly I’d hurt Bowe because I wasn’t brave enough to put my heart on the line.

“Your sister is the one I’m going to end up apologizing for. That girl thinks playing with boys’ feelings is a game. Every single time I turn around, she has another guy offering to do her homework for her or begging her to date exclusively. She has no intention of limiting her options, that’s for sure, even though she doesn’t seem to be really interested in any of them.” My mom cleared her throat and gave my dad a narrow-eyed look from across the kitchen. “She definitely takes after your father in that aspect. He had no interest in committing to any one person until we got serious about one another.”

“Well, if she’s like Dad, then when she finds the right person, she’ll be done for the same way he was with you.” I got to my feet and offered to put everything away in her office that she’d used to bandage me up.

My mom handed me the big plastic box loaded down with everything she might need at home to treat a sports injury. That box had been around since I joined my first Pop Warner team when I was in elementary school. She sniffed a little and crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t think I missed that you never agreed to take time off while your shoulder heals. I’m telling you it’s going to get worse, not as your worried mother, but as a medical professional. You think I don’t know how hard it will be for you to take a step back, but I do. I also know just how awful it will be if something goes wrong and you cannot play anymore. I think you need to look at the big picture, Ry.”

I wanted to, but the truth was that if I didn’t push through the summer, there was no chance I would start when the season started, and it was getting closer and closer to D-day. While I never talked about how often I thought about getting drafted and going pro, it was always on my mind. I’d definitely put the effort in every single day. The reason I didn’t obsess over what was next was because I’d always assumed it was a given. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be a professional football player after college, but now that I was watching Bowe adjust to all the certainties and absolutes in real-time, I understood that my mom made a really good point.

“I’ll talk to my coaches and the team trainer after I see Lando. I’ll ask about lightening up on my training for a few weeks, and I’ll let them know I’ve got an injury. Okay?” I looked down at my mom until she finally nodded in approval. I gave her a grin of reassurance and finally went to put everything away.

When I came back into the kitchen, my parents were on one side of the island and Bowe was on the other. My dad had a heavily tattooed arm tossed over my mom’s shoulder, and she was tucked tightly against his side. They’d always been an outwardly odd pair. My dad was dark and intense, my mom was light and elegant. But they fit. They were an unstoppable team, and I’d grown up knowing they brought out the best in each other and they had learned how to forgive each other’s worst. I probably should’ve paid closer attention to them instead of deciding I could force what they had with whomever happened to be in front of me. My parents never hid the fact that staying happy together for as long as they’d been married took a whole hell of a lot of work.

I took a spot next to Bowe and leaned on the counter. She turned her head to give me a quick once-over, frowning when she saw the way my injured side was all taped up. “That looks more serious than you led me to believe, Archer.”

Before I could reassure her that I was fine, my mom blurted out, “It is. And if he isn’t careful, it’s going to get worse.”

Bowe frowned and reached out a finger to run it along the edge of the black tape that arrowed down my arm and ended at my elbow. “Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded and tried to keep my expression calm. “I’m fine. I just need to adjust how hard I usually go when it comes to practice and working out. It’s just part of the game.”

Bowe sniffed and narrowed her eyes at me. “Games are supposed to be fun. That doesn’t look very fun at all.”

She wasn’t wrong, so I didn’t argue with her. Fortunately, my dad jumped in to save me from the tense conversation.

“How are the twins? Your dad said they got jobs, so they weren’t going to be able to visit this summer.” He sounded genuinely bummed that the Kellers weren’t going to spend time in Colorado this year. My dad was always so quiet, it was easy to forget there were people outside of our family and his coworkers who meant the world to him. He’d grown up with Bowe’s dad the same way I’d grown up with Zowen. I honestly couldn’t imagine going for any stretch of time without getting to see my cousin.

“They’re going to be driving soon. They already make my mom crazy, so it’ll be fun to see what happens once she has to teach them to drive. But at least they both do well in school. She hated that I didn’t really care one way or another about my education. I just wanted to learn how to play the guitar and figure out how to record music. I was never very good at balancing things. Not like this guy.” She pointed in my direction, which made my parents smile.

My mom tilted her head as her gaze shifted between me and Bowe. “Ry was good at school and sports, but we never saw him. He’s actually been home more since he started college than he was when he lived here.”

It was true. I’d had to learn how to balance relationships when I realized I was on the verge of alienating everyone who loved me.

My dad chimed in. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making your passion a priority. Too often, those with real talent are forced to forget about what’s in their heart and what makes them happy because there is a notion that being creative isn’t as important as traditional knowledge and skills. That’s an antiquated way of thinking. My childhood would’ve felt less like a competition and war for affection if my folks thought that way.”

“Daire is a good example. She’s an average student, but she’s an amazing artist.” I chimed in. Ever since we were little, she would doodle all over everything, and every wall in our house was fair game to be her canvas. “Dad’s lucky that one of us inherited his talent. She’s the only one who could follow in his footsteps if she wants to be a tattoo artist. I can’t even draw a stick figure.” I cleared my throat a bit as I was suddenly hit with a wave of gratitude and emotion. “You guys always made sure you let us pursue what was important to us, and never made us feel like we had to choose. I guess I never really understood what a privilege that was. One a lot of kids don’t get.”

My dad lifted his dark eyebrows and smirked at me. “Are you just now realizing your mom and I are the shit?”

I groaned and lowered my head, so I was looking down at the counter. “I’ve realized a lot of things I got wrong lately.” I wasn’t paying attention to the right things or people.

“Don’t let ruining your shoulder be one of those things, kiddo.” My mom never missed an opportunity to remind me that mother did indeed know best.

“Do you guys want to come to my first show? It might be nice to have you there since my parents won’t make it.” Bowe sounded a little down about that, but it was understandable that they couldn’t adjust their lives and the twins’ schedule on such short notice. I thought it was sweet she asked my folks to stand in for them. She didn’t mention that she was planning on inviting them, so all I could do was shrug when my dad caught my eye and gave me a questioning look. “Don’t feel like you have to, but I want you to know that you’re welcome, and so are Remy’s parents.” Bowe trailed off. “Though, it seems like that might make for an uncomfortable situation for some reason.”

My mom stiffened, and my dad tightened his arm around her. I noticed that she purposely looked away from Bowe and fixed her gaze on some point over our shoulders. “We would love to come and see you play. Though, I’ll be on call so I may only be able to stay for part of your performance.” She made a face that was hard to decipher before muttering, “Maybe you should mention to Remy that you wouldn’t mind if her parents came and leave it up to her to invite them or not. It’s your night. You don’t need anything taking your attention away from what you have to do. It’s got to be nerve-racking to get up there all on your own for the first time.”

Bowe hummed a soft agreement and gave me a look that said there was a lot more going on here than my cousin just being prickly and difficult like she often was. I’d have to try and pry some information out of Zowen to see if he knew what was really going on.

She forced a smile and shifted her weight. “I’ll do that. You’re right, I don’t want to have anything go wrong, and Remy is the only reason I got the audition.”

My mom stretched out a hand and patted the back of Bowe’s. “Don’t worry too much. Everything will work out for you and for Remy.” Her eyes lifted to me, and she lifted a pale eyebrow, “And for my son if he takes his doctor’s advice.”

I groaned, holding my hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’ll do my best.”

My dad grunted again and gave me a frosty look. “Doesn’t matter how careful you are, son. You’ll still have guys on the field trying to take you out, and if they figure out you have a weakness, that’s the first place they’re going to aim for. If you make your mom cry again, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Bowe laughed, but I could tell by the ice in his eyes he wasn’t kidding. He was still pissed I’d freaked her out by taking off in the middle of the night and not answering anyone’s calls.

My mom nudged my dad in the side, which made him wiggle comically as her elbow dug into his ribs. “Don’t act like I’m the only one who cries over these kids, Rule.”

Of course she wasn’t, because like my dad said, my parents were the shit. They weren’t afraid to show emotion or talk about how much we meant to them. They never let us believe that love and affection were things to be ashamed of, and they never showed Daire and me that expressing feelings was limited to the girls in our household. My dad and I were encouraged to be just as vulnerable and sensitive as my mom and sister, which was a mindset I always appreciated. I was surrounded by guys daily who let their feelings eat away at them and used the game as an outlet for their emotions because they didn’t have parents who were as open-minded and tolerant as mine.

It was a damn shame.

“I don’t want to make anyone cry over me. I’ll take care of myself. Don’t worry.”

Three sets of eyes looked at me like I had lost my mind. Of course they were going to worry. That’s what you did when you loved someone but had to let them do what they were going to do.

Love wasn’t about control.

It was about being there in the good times and the bad. For the ups and downs. During the wins and losses. In the light and the dark.

It was about balancing everything out and cherishing all sides of someone, even when it felt impossible.