On His Knees by Tabatha Kiss
Chapter 20
Seth
Iknock twice on the door and wait.
Their condo is on the third floor. I didn’t bother waiting for an elevator, so I took the stairs. My heart pounds despite my being in great shape, but I’m blaming the hangover for that.
The lock turns from the inside and the door swings open on Wilder’s welcoming smile.
“Hey, Seth,” she says, her brow rising in surprise. “What brings you here?” Then, annoyance. “Did Corey do the toilet prank again?”
“No.” I laugh. “Well, not that I know of. I came by to talk to you, actually.”
She shrugs as she steps to the side. “All right. Come on in.”
I step inside, peeking throughout the empty rooms. “Is Corey here?” I ask.
“Still asleep,” she says. “By all means, try to wake him…”
“Nah, it’s cool,” I say with a chuckle as I recall our days at the Delta Xi house. “I know better than that.”
“Then, can I get you something to drink? Or a granola bar or something?”
“No, I’m all right. Thanks.”
“Then…” she gestures to the living room furniture, “what can I do for you, Seth Newbury?”
I follow her lead, taking a seat beside her on the sofa. For a moment, I say nothing. I’m not even sure where to start.
“Sorry for just dropping in like this,” I say. “Drew mentioned something about talking to you maybe and I wasn’t sure who else to go to with this…”
She nods, her interest piqued. “All right. What’s up?”
“I was hoping you could tell me. The last few nights have been really weird.”
“Living with Jenna?” she quips. “I can imagine.”
“No.” I shake my head. “This has nothing to do with her. It’s about… the fire.”
“At your apartment?”
“When it happened, I was fine,” I say. “It was jarring, sure, but I was still me. I was cracking jokes about it and I felt fine. I was fine…”
“But…?”
“But ever since that morning, I can’t sleep. Sometimes, it feels like I can’t breathe, and…” I pause. “I don’t know. I thought I was okay, but now I’m not sure.”
Wilder sits still, her eyes warm and soft. “It sounds like you’ve got a classic case of some post-traumatic stress.”
“But nothing happened, though. Right?” I ask. “I wasn’t hurt. It wasn’t even really traumatic. I wasn’t in a war zone or anything.”
“Seth, your trauma isn’t invalid just because someone else out there has it worse,” she says. “Getting dragged out of your bed in the middle of the night because your life is in danger is traumatic. Our beds are supposed to be a safe place. Somewhere we allow our bodies to go unconscious for long periods of time with no method of defending ourselves. It’s no wonder you’re having trouble sleeping. The trust is gone.”
I let it sink in. “I guess that makes sense.”
Wilder shifts on the couch, quickly folding one knee beneath her as she talks. “When I was in high school, my sister and I got into a car accident. Nothing too serious, but it still haunts me. I will literally go miles out of my way just to avoid making a left turn.”
“That explains a lot,” I joke. “I’ve seen you drive.”
“Oh, people love poking fun at my driving,” she says, smiling. “But I do what makes me feel safe. And that’s what you should do now.”
“Do what makes me feel safe?”
She nods. “Do some research and get prepared. Make an emergency plan for in case it happens again. Test it. Run drills. Teach it to Drew when he gets back. Talk to Heidi, too. Surround yourself with people you trust. And cleanse your body of all the bad vibes and toxins.” She leans forward. “Maybe not drink yourself silly for a little while.”
I smile, my head still throbbing from this morning. “You might be right about that one.”
“A little self-care will go a long way. But most of all, you need time.” She pats my knee. “You are okay, Seth. You’re just a little bruised, but you’ll be back.”
I take the deepest breath I’ve taken all week. “Thanks, Wilder.”
“You’re welcome. If you need to talk it out some more, you have my number. If you’d rather talk to someone who hasn’t judged you in a tighty-whitie contest, I know a few places that can help.”
“No, I think I’m good now. This, uh…” I clear my throat. “You’re really good at this.”
“It’s what I do.” She smirks, primed for gossip. “So, what happened last night after we left?”
I hesitate. “You know, I don’t really recall,” I say. “I remember…”
Oh, come on, Seth. Tell the truth.
I remember everything.
I remember telling Jenna all about Drew’s big news.
I remember confessing how I really felt about it, too.
I remember telling her my greatest fear.
Mostly, I remember how she didn’t wield it against me afterward.
She gave me water and shelter for the night.
She tucked me in and made sure I was safe.
She didn’t have to do any of that.
But she did.
Why did she do that?
“Beer,” I answer. “I remember beer.”
Wilder chuckles. “Delta Xi, right?”
I hold up a fist. “Delta Xi,” I repeat.
The bedroom door opens across the room. Corey steps out in a T-shirt and jeans and pauses as he spots me on the couch.
“Hey, Cor,” I greet.
“Hello, Seth.” He furrows his brow in suspicion as his eyes flick between the two of us. “What’s up?”
“I just swung by to talk to Wilder for a bit.”
His expression softens with a nod. It wouldn’t surprise me if this were a common occurrence. Wilder has a discreet hand in everyone’s business these days.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Wanna go surfing? We’re heading to Montrose later.”
I chuckle. “Too hungover today. Maybe next time.”
He shrugs as he starts toward the kitchen. “More waves for me, bitch.”
Wilder sighs. “And that’s how I find out we’re having a beach day,” she says to me.
I grin. “Well, at least he’s never boring.”
“At least there’s that.” She looks at me, her smile staying in place. “You gonna be okay?” she asks, though it’s not really a question. She expects a specific answer.
“Yeah,” I say, believing it. “I’m gonna be okay.”
She pats my knee, believing it, too.