On His Knees by Tabatha Kiss

Chapter 3

Jenna

“Timothy Troy,” Wilder muses with a nostalgic sigh as she swirls her glass. “He was my first crush. He had bright, blond hair and big, blue eyes...”

“Mine had to be some fourth grader, maybe,” Ellie says with a shrug. “I don’t really remember.”

I scroll through my newsfeed as they continue on. Honestly, I’m more than a little over this conversation, but once you get Ellie and Wilder on a subject, they usually hammer it right into the ground. I should have known better.

Heidi taps my knee on the couch beside her. I look up and she gives me a quick, understanding smile beneath loving golden brown eyes; eyes she shares with her brother, but I won’t hold cruel genetics against her. She’s the only other person here who has seen Seth at his worst. Sure, he’s shown her over the last few years that he’s a very special leopard capable of changing his spots, but Jenna Abrams always remembers.

And she never forgives.

My phone vibrates in my palm. I twitch with intrigue, happy for the distraction, but that feeling instantly vanishes when I read the message popped up on my lock screen.

Is that so?

Fucking Bobby.

I exhale as I swipe it open to reply.

A friend sent that as a dare,I text. Go back to your cave.

A reply bubble pops up as soon as I hit send.

Still playing games, huh? You'll never change, J...

I tap the power button so I don’t banter more. It vibrates again as I drop it into my pocket. Then, again. And again.

I move to sip my wine, but the glass is empty. “We out?” I ask.

Ellie grabs the bottle off the coffee table and peeks one of her big eyes into the bottle. “Yup,” she confirms.

“We brought a case, though,” Heidi says. “Should be some more chilling in the fridge.”

“Excellent.” I stand up off the couch, my ankles wobbling slightly. “I’ll be right back.”

“You need help?”

“No, I got it.”

As I enter the hallway, the room behind me rumbles with extra voices. The boys march in from the beach and settle on the couches next to their girls.

I continue forward alone with the sounds of happy, reunited couples fading off behind me. Good for them, I say.

Now, about that wine…

I enter the kitchen, instantly struck in the face by an even cooler hit of air conditioning. It’s a warm one out there tonight, but the summer is almost over. The final summer of my undergraduate years.

The happy couples erupt in laughter somewhere behind me.

Wine...

As I reach the refrigerator, my pocket vibrates again. I release a groan as I set my empty wineglass on the counter and grab the phone.

I’ve been thinking about you, too.

I miss you.

I wouldn’t mind if you showed up at my door tonight.

J?

I snort. Yeah, no. Not gonna happen, Bobby.

I abandon my phone on the counter as I swing toward the fridge. He actually thinks I’m going to come crawling back? Me? Not a chance. I never go back. Only forward.

I laugh as I yank the refrigerator door open in search of wine. There are a few bottles chilling in the door, like Heidi said there would be. I grab the nearest one and slam the door. As it swings closed, a face appears behind it.

I jolt in surprise.

Brownish-black hair.

Golden brown eyes.

Fucking Seth.

He smiles. “Hi,” he says, his hands in his pockets.

“What do you want?” I ask, annoyed.

“I…” He pauses, his demeanor soft and cuddly. I don’t like it. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Seth…” I exhale, too tired for this. “Let’s don’t. Okay?”

“Let’s don’t what?”

“Let’s don’t… whatever the hell you’re about to do right now.”

I turn away in search of the corkscrew.

“But you don’t know what I’m going to do,” he says.

“I don’t need to know.”

“You don’t know that. I might surprise you.”

I snort. “Yeah, sure. Shock me, Sethy. I dare you.”

“I’m sorry.”

I pause my search. “You’re sorry?”

Seth opens the drawer next to the refrigerator and grabs the corkscrew from inside. “I’m sorry,” he says again, holding it out for me to take. “I shouldn’t have said that stuff out there.”

I snatch it from his hand. Okay, I’m intrigued. Not surprised. But… intrigued.

Seth has done a lot of apologizing to Heidi over the last few years, but he’s never said it to me. Have I wondered what it’d be like to see Seth groveling for forgiveness? Sure. Have I been holding my breath, waiting on pins and needles for the day when it would be my turn?

Fuck no.

Seth Newbury doesn’t just admit wrongdoing all on his own.

I stab the cork and twist. “Did Drew send you in here?” I ask.

Seth shakes his head. “No.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, really. I… feel bad.”

I pull the cork, but it doesn’t budge. “Why?”

“Because it was rude,” he says. “I was being rude and immature and I feel badly about it, so now I’m apologizing. It’s what good men do.”

“Oh…” I say, gritting my teeth as I pull. “You’re a good man now, are you?”

“Trying to be.”

“Well, try harder.”

Seth snatches the bottle from my hands. I reluctantly let it go and he easily grips the cork and yanks it out.

“I’m sorry,” he says again as he looks at me.

“For what?” I ask. “Be very specific.”

He pours a healthy portion of wine into my glass and sets the bottle down. “It was just a childhood crush,” he says, purposefully planting his feet in front of me. “It was a dumb thing to tease you about.” He pauses, letting those big, golden eyes wander my face. “I’m sorry to you, and I’m sorry to the little girl with the skinned knee because she… deserved a better Seth than what I became. You both do.”

Hm.

Okay.

Not bad, Newbury.

“You know, I’d forgotten all about that day,” Seth says with a smile. “Kissing your ouchie.”

My knee twitches. “Me, too. Until Wilder’s amazing Truth skills brought it up again.”

“All that time we spent together as kids. I had no idea you felt that way.”

“No reason you would.”

“How long did it last?”

“I don’t know. Until the scab fell off?”

Seth nods, silently reacting to my bluntness. “This apology isn’t going too well, is it?”

“It’s going fine,” I say as I pick up my glass and tightly choke the bottle’s neck with my other hand. “But if you find the time to apologize for the three-thousand other crappy things you’ve done to me over the last fifteen years, be sure to do that, too.”

I walk away.

“Jenna.”

“No, Seth. Apology not accepted.” I spin back around. “One dumb apology to the cute little wounded girl inside of me isn’t good enough. Now, we’ve managed to — somewhat successfully — stay out of each other’s way while you and Heidi play happy family again, and I see no reason we can’t continue that for another year until I graduate.”

“Okay, but—”

“But what? What else is there to say?”

His throat clears. “You forgot your phone,” he says as he picks it up off the counter.

My stomach clenches, slightly embarrassed by my outburst. “Oh,” I say.

“And…” He squints at the screen as it flashes off. “It looks like some guy just sent you a picture of his dick, so…” He holds it a little further away from his eyes. “You might want to address that.”

I step forward and extend my hand, freeing two of my fingers from the bottleneck for him to slide the phone between.

“Thanks,” I murmur.

He flashes that damn cocky smile again. “Don’t mention it,” he says. “I’m sure he’s a real winner.”

Don’t.

Don’t.

Don’t let him bait you.

“He is, actually,” I say.

You dumb bitch.

Seth smirks. That fucking smirk. “Oh, yeah?” he says.

“Yeah. He’s a big deal.”

“Really? What’s he do?”

“He… works at a bank,” I spit out.

“A bank?”

“Yeah, he’s one of the big guys.”

Seth glances at the phone. “We all are with the right angles and lighting, sweetheart.”

I ignore the pointed term of endearment and throw on a pout. “Oh, you jealous?” I ask, shifting the focus onto him.

“Of Mr. Big Deal’s curved pecker?” he asks. “Not really.”

“Sure sounds like jealousy to me.”

“I’ve got nothing to be jealous about. Trust me.”

“No need. In fact, I’ve already heard the Seth Newbury play-by-play from my sisters in the Beta Kappa house and, let me tell you…” My nose screws up. “You don’t come out looking all that impressive.”

“Can’t be nearly as pathetic as your reputation in the Delta Xi house,” he says. “Nobody likes a starfish.”

I bristle. “I am not a starfish.”

He shrugs a shoulder. “That’s not what Jack told me.”

“Would you like to hear what Bethany told me about you?”

He squints. No, he obviously doesn’t.

Good.

I look up, feigning thought. “I believe her exact words were… faked it so hard, I pulled a muscle.”

Seth steps forward. “Hey, nobody fakes it with me, all right?”

“No, you’re right,” I say sarcastically. “You’re a god to women everywhere.”

“Hell, I’ll even prove it,” he says. “You and me. Let’s go.”

The fuck did he just say?

“The fuck did you just say?” I ask.

“You and me,” Seth says again. “Anytime. Anywhere. You won’t walk straight for a week.”

My chest tightens. Surely, he’s not serious.

I snort. “Oh, please…”

“What’s the matter?” he asks, drifting toward me another inch, close enough for me to feel his breath on my cheek. “You afraid you’ll like it?”

Oh. Oh…

He’s serious.

Seth Newbury wants to fuck me.

“Nope,” I say, ignoring the blood rushing into my cheeks. “Just wondering what I’ll do with the remaining twenty-three hours and fifty-eight minutes of my day.”

“Pick a time, Jen,” he says. “I’ll fit you right in.”

I bite down hard. “Don’t call me that.”

“What, Jen?” he says it again.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, Jen. I’ll never do it again, Jen.”

“Stop it, dick!”

“Make me, hag!”

“Guys!”

Heidi interrupts us from the kitchen doorway. We both turn away from each other to look at her, her wide, golden eyes full of sadness and aggravation — targeted at us.

“Really?” she asks, her voice weak. “Fighting? Again?”

I back away from Seth. “Sorry, Heidi,” I say.

“Yeah, sorry,” Seth says.

“We were just… chatting.”

“I was…” He looks down. “I was apologizing for earlier, and...”

“Yeah, you sounded really remorseful there,” she says.

I breathe a laugh. “Really, it’s nothing. We’re clearing the air.”

“Right!” he says, nodding far too much. “Burying the hatchet.”

“Bygones!”

“A little kiss and make up.”

I flinch. “Not literally, though.”

“Oh, obviously not,” he says, just as flinchy.

“More of a… friendly fist bump with words.”

“Just…” Heidi shakes her head in disappointment. “Grow up.”

She leaves, her hard steps echoing quickly back down the hallway toward the others.

Seth and I make eye contact again, but we don’t say a word. Anything either of us has to say would surely just make it worse.

She’s right. We should grow up. We should apologize and move on. We should be able to spend ten goddamn minutes together without imploding like this…

But not tonight.

Tonight, he’s still just Seth Newbury.

My first crush.

My biggest enemy.

And nothing is ever going to change that.