On His Knees by Tabatha Kiss

Chapter 31

Seth

Jenna opens the freezer door and grabs a small icepack from inside. I wait at the kitchen table, gently probing my throbbing face with my fingertips.

“You shouldn’t do that.” She sits down in the chair next to mine with the icepack in one hand and a thin dish towel in the other. “Only make it worse.”

I chortle. “Story of my life.”

Jenna doesn’t reply. Instead, she leans forward, prompting me to do the same, and she rests the dish towel-wrapped icepack on my burning cheekbone. I wince, expecting pain, but her touch is soft and surprisingly gentle.

“Hold this,” she tells me. “It’ll keep the swelling down.”

“Will do,” I say, propping my elbow on the table and resting my head against the soothing, cold lump in my palm.

“How are your ribs?” she asks.

“They’re fine.”

“Are you sure?”

I hesitate. “Yes.”

She stands up to hover over my chair. “Take a deep breath for me.”

Well, this is humiliating.

But also... kind of hot, so let’s go with it.

I sit back and humor her with a deep inhale, quickly succumbing to a painful shift in my torso. “Ouch,” I whisper as I exhale.

Jenna takes a knee beside me and pinches my shirt. “Raise your arms.”

“Jenna, I’m fine,” I say. “I know how to take a punch.”

She ignores me. I let her. I push away whatever bashful embarrassment I feel about this in favor of feeling her gentle touch on my skin again, and I raise my arm out of her way.

She opens my shirt, her brow pinching slightly as she finds the bruise on my torso. “Bounced right off your abs,” she says, her fingertips gliding along the Delta Xi tattoo on my ribs.

“Like I said,” I say, reclaiming any ounce of pride I can. “I know how to take a punch.”

Jenna half-smiles as she pushes off the floor and slides into her chair again. “You didn’t have to, though.”

“Yes, I did,” I say. “He was being a dick.”

“So?”

“So, you’re... you know, part of my posse.”

She arches a brow. “Your posse?”

“My group. My people. We party together.”

“Who the hell says posse anymore?”

“You’re my little sister’s best friend,” I say. “I have an obligation to defend you from jackasses like that.”

She smothers her smile with a quick press of her lips. “What about jackasses like you?” she asks.

I peek at her over the edge of my icepack. “That’s different.”

Her face screws up. “How?”

“Because it’s fun.”

“Fun?”

“I hit you, you hit back. Figuratively. It’s fun. It’s harmless and I say nothing I know you can’t take.” I glare at the front door through the living room; the last place I saw Bobby. Good riddance. “For instance, I’d never call you a stupid cunt.”

“Really?”

“Well, not to your face.”

Thankfully, she smiles again, taking the comment as the playful jab it was meant to be. “You’ve said some pretty horrible things to me in the past, Seth.”

“You’ve said some zingers yourself.”

“Sorry,” she says, not really sorry.

“I’m sorry, too,” I say, really sorry. “It’d be nice if you believed me.”

Jenna opens her mouth, then slowly closes it as she thinks twice. I take the quiet moment to ice my face again, letting the cool rush smooth my red hot cheekbone.

“Maybe you’re right,” she finally says.

I peek at her over the icepack, staying quiet.

“Sometimes, I suppose...” She sighs. “Shit-talking each other can be... a little fun.”

I smirk. I knew it.

“No one pushes my buttons quite like you do,” she adds.

“Same.”

“I mean, I hate it. Completely. Sometimes I just want to beat you to death with a blunt object. Like a gavel.”

“Like mother, like daughter.” I set the icepack on the table. “Tell me something, Jenna, just ‘tween us girls: why that guy?”

“Why any guy?”

“That does not answer the question. At all. You can do so much better or, frankly, better than most of the morons I know who you’ve hooked up with over the years.”

“Is this a question of why them or is it really why not you?” she asks. “Just ‘tween us girls, of course.”

“No,” I answer. “Yes,” I answer again. “Maybe, I don’t know. I’m just curious why your standards are what they are.”

Jenna looks down as if it’s the first time she’s ever considered it. “I don’t like to feel trapped,” she finally says. “Guys like him… they’re easy to walk away from.”

I nod. That’s fair.

She studies me. I’m not sure what answer she’s really looking for, but I’m sure she’ll find it.

After a moment, she exhales slowly from her nose and wets her lips before speaking again.

“Truth or dare, Seth?”

I smile. “Truth.”

“How long have you been attracted to me?” she asks.

“I dunno,” I say. “When did you grow those giant breasts?”

“Really,” she says. “Don’t bullshit.”

I try not to move, but my eyes obviously shift somewhat because her smirk curls ever-so-slightly up her cheek. She says nothing and waits for me to answer.

I take a moment or two to think back that far, but once I do, the memory is clear as day.

“Charlie Nolan.”

Jenna’s smirk evaporates as she leans back in her chair. “Charlie Nolan?” she repeats.

I nod. “Spring Fling. My senior year. You beat the shit out of him in front of the entire school.”

“Of course I did,” she says. “You paid him to stand Heidi up.”

A twinge touches my chest. I take a breath, willing it away. Heidi’s long forgiven me for that night, she told me herself, but the guilt still haunts me a little.

“I did, yeah,” I say. “I didn’t want her and her bratty friend there to ruin my good night, but you showed up anyway in this… bright blue dress that shimmered like Cinderella.”

She nods. “Heidi made me go.”

“I saw the whole thing. You got right up in Charlie’s face and I thought… oh, shit.”

Jenna chuckles.

Then,” I continue, “his girlfriend got right up in your face and everyone was shouting and the next thing I knew, she hit you.”

“Pow,”she says, screwing up her nose.

I smile at that warm and fuzzy feeling. “I’d never seen a girl take a punch like that before. You didn’t even budge.”

“Just a talent we both share, I guess.”

“I blinked once, and she was on the floor,” I say, rolling through the memory. “Another second later, so was Charlie Nolan holding his nuts.”

“They swung at me.” She shrugs. “I was merely defending myself.”

“And you just stood there, towering over them like a goddamn queen with a bloody nose.”

Jenna pauses, her eyes softening in the light.

“You still looked perfect, though,” I add. “And that dress made your tits look fantastic.”

She recoils, but a smile tempts her eyes.

“Anyway, the vice principal broke it up and led you out after that. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you, though. You were just… perfect.”

Jenna looks down. “That was the week my dad left.”

I pause. “It was?”

She nods.

“I didn’t know that.”

“No one did,” she says. “I didn’t even tell Heidi until a few weeks later.”

“Why not?”

“How long was it before you told your buddies about your parents breaking up?” she answers with a question.

“Never,” I say, seeing her point. “I don’t think I had a serious conversation about it with anyone until I met Drew. I just let those feelings fester while taking them out on others. But you know all about that, don’t you?”

She goes quiet.

“You know, Jenna…” I say. “I’ve been searching my head all day, and I can’t remember spreading that stuff about your dad. I’m not denying it, of course. It’s exactly the type of shit I’d do back then, but the fact that something that was so small and insignificant to me destroyed your life like that is…” I swallow hard. “It’s fucking me up.”

“Seth…”

“There’s nothing I can do or say to you to make it right. And I’m truly sorry for that. I’m sorry about Charlie Nolan, for those stupid diet pill coupons, and for all the other dumb shit I did to make myself feel better. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

Her trained eyes scan the bruise on my cheek.

“And I’m sorry for blowing up at you last night,” I say. “I shouldn’t have done that either.”

Jenna sits still for a moment before she finally exhales softly. “No. You were right.”

I lean forward, amused. “Come again?”

Her lips twitch. “You were right,” she repeats. “I guess I thought that… if she never found out about the affair, then he wouldn’t have left. And then she wouldn’t hate him so much and then she…” She presses her lips together. “Whatever. It’s not important.”

“Your dad was a prick,” I say. “You and your mother are better off without him. Girl power.”

She doesn’t react. “Blaming you was easier than admitting that he just… didn’t want us. That he didn’t want me.”

“Some people just weren’t meant to be together,” I say, the thought cutting deep. “I spent years blaming Heidi after our parents broke up. But she didn’t do anything. It was my fault. She was just an easy target. Everyone was.”

Jenna shifts slightly, angling her body to face me more. “Your parents didn’t split up because of you, Seth.”

“I heard them arguing once. Things would be better if you did this, or if you did that. One of those bickering matches.” Jenna nods along, knowing it well enough for herself. “Dad said something about Heidi; how they were supposed to be one-and-done and that Mom only kept her to spite him.”

“Jesus,” she whispers.

“Oh, it gets better. Mom said that she wished Heidi had come first. Then she wouldn’t have a little him running around, ruining her life. And he agreed.” I shrug. “Only time I ever heard them agree about anything.”

I raise my eyes, catching the sympathy in Jenna’s before she sits back.

“He didn’t want me,” I say. “She didn’t want me. No one does.”

“Seth, that’s not true.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Heidi wants you in her life. I doubt she’d care as much about us getting along if she didn’t.”

I consider it. “Maybe.”

“And you are just plain wrong about Drew,” she adds. “He will not ditch you for Little Black Book. He loves you.”

I ignore that one. Still unconvinced.

“And…” she exhales, hesitant, “having you here this week hasn’t been the worst thing in the world.”

“Damn. That looked painful to get out.”

“It didn’t feel great, no.”

I laugh. “Well, I’m sorry for inconveniencing you.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“So, I’m sorry,” I say. “And you’re sorry.”

“We’re both sorry.”

“I think this occasion calls for a drink.”

I hop out of my chair and open the fridge.

Jenna chuckles. “You think everything calls for a drink.”

I grab two bottles of beer from the batch left over from the party. “It’s my last night in this house,” I say as I fish my keys out of my pocket. “This is our last chance to bury this once and for all.”

I pop the cap off a bottle and set it down in front of her. She eyes it for a moment, calm and pensive.

“Is this your way of suggesting that… you and I can actually be friends?” she asks.

“I think it’s slightly more likely today than it was yesterday.” I sit back down. “Don’t you?”

I raise my bottle to her and wait. She chews her cheek and stalls until finally raising hers, too. We tap at the neck, sending a sharp clink throughout the quiet kitchen, then we each take a long sip.

A silent toast to… whatever the hell happens next.

“Thank you again,” I say. “For not booting me out on my ass this week.”

She bows her head with respect. “Thank you for fixing our shower.”

I chuckle. “You’re welcome.”

“I didn’t know you were so handy.”

“Hey, my dad always said, ‘if you can’t be handsome, be handy.’ I said, ‘why not both?’”

Jenna rolls her eyes, but says nothing. It’d be too easy, I guess.

Or maybe she doesn’t disagree.

We drink again. The next time Jenna sets her bottle down, it’s empty. Can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve seen this girl drink even the burliest of Delta Xi men under the table over the years. People have said a lot about her, but one thing has always been true.

Jenna Abrams knows how to party.

“Well…” Jenna slides the bottle aside. “I should head to bed.”

I nod. “All right.”

She rises from her chair, her eyes lingering on my cheek again. She hovers for a moment before taking a quick step toward me.

I don’t move as she leans down and plants a soft kiss on my cheek, sending a painless rush of warmth throughout my bruised face.

“Did you just...” I squint as she stands, “kiss my ouchie?”

“Yeah,” Jenna says, taking another wide step back. “We’re even now.”

Even.

Jenna and I are even now.

We’ve leveled the playing field, successfully paved the way to peaceful co-existence.

But I don’t want to be even.

And I don’t want to be friends.

Jenna tries to pass behind me. I twist around to grab her arm, stopping her as I rise.

She’s going to hate me for this. I’ll probably end up with another black eye afterward, but...

“Seth,” she says. “What—”

I kiss her. I cup her face with one hand, quickly resting the other on her waist to hold her close to me. I memorize every second, as there are only two or three left before she inevitably pushes me away.

Any second now...

Jenna?

I break the kiss myself, far too curious.

Jenna stares back, her mouth slightly agape. Her lip trembles. Her eyelids twitch.

“Jenna?” I whisper.

She swallows hard. “Hm?”

I smirk. “I just kissed you.”

A quick nod. “Yeah.”

I wait another second. Still, she gives me nothing.

“Would… you like me to kiss you again?” I ask.

“Okay,” she says.

Well, I’m not about to ask twice.