Between Never and Forever by Brit Benson

Chapter One Excerpt

Jesse

Kelley pulls up to the curb a block down from Riggs’s townhouse. I can already hear the music pumping from the building and see people stumbling around on the front lawn.

Riggs Stanton, Butler University’s star pitcher, has been dating Bailey since around Christmas. They had a rocky as fuck start, but things are going good now. He even hangs with me and Kelley on nights when Ivy and Bailey are doing secretive girl shit that we’re not invited to.

“Fuck, did they invite the whole campus?” Kelley muses as we hop out of the Jeep. He slings his arm over Ivy’s shoulder, and we make our way to the house. “Bet Riggs loves this shit.”

I snort, because we all know Riggs does not love this.

If Riggs could go the rest of his life without having to attend another raging house party, he gladly would. Bummer for him, his roommate Dylan was selected to play in the MLB Draft League, so the whole baseball team decided to throw him a party. And since Riggs is the unofficial team captain and campus stud, he’s hosting. Dude’s fucking thrilled. Not.

When we walk into the house, Bailey and Riggs meet us at the door.

“Hi, guys!” Bailey shouts over the music, then she links her arm with Ivy’s and starts to pull her away.

“Kelley. Dr. Hernandez,” Riggs greets as he shuttles us in.

“He’s not a doctor yet,” Bailey shouts over her shoulder. “If someone gets hit by a car, we’re still calling 911.” I roll my eyes, and she sticks her tongue out at me as she and V disappear into the house.

“This place is fuckin’ packed,” Kelley says, and he gestures for my coat, so I shrug it off and hand it to him. “You want these in your room?” he asks Riggs.

“Yeah, just toss them on the bed.” Kelley heads up the stairs with our coats, and I follow Riggs into the kitchen, weaving in and out of the crowd of people on the way.

I’m reaching into the fridge and grabbing one of Riggs’s fancy beers when someone bumps into me. I step back to find Riggs’s roommate Dylan, blitzed off his ass and grinning like an idiot. It’s his party, and he’s living it up.

“Jesse!” He shouts, and pulls me into a drunk bro hug.

“Hey,” I say with a smile, giving his back a few pats before pulling away. “Congrats on the Draft League, man. That’s fucking awesome.”

“I know, right?” He slurs. “And what about you? You got into Harvard Med!”

I can’t resist the in, so I grin and say, “What, like it’s hard?”

Dylan scrunches up his face in disbelief. “Yeah, bro. It’s fucking Harvard.”

“Legally Blonde?” I ask, brows raised and eyes wide. Is he fucking with me?

“Dude.” He blinks. “This is my natural hair color.”

“Never mind, man. Super excited for you.” I pat him on the shoulder once more as I shuffle around him. “I need your autograph before you leave.”

An hour later, I’m sitting in a lawn chair in the smallish back yard with Kelley, Ivy, and Xavier, Riggs’s other roommate. Riggs and B disappeared a while ago and I doubt we’ll see them for the rest of the night. It’s cold as shit out here, but the fire pit in the middle of our lawn chair circle helps fight off the chill.

When Xavier gets up to head inside, I briefly cast my attention across the fire toward Kell and V. Their eyes are closed, and she’s perched on his lap with a blanket draped over their legs. He’s running his fingers through her hair, and they’re probably nice and toasty and comfortable and content. In more ways than one.

I fight off a pang of something like envy. Not because I’ve got feelings for either of them—nothing but the strongest platonic love for my friends—but because of that thing that they have.

That Bailey and Riggs have, too.

That I don’t have.

My gentle foot shaking switches to quick leg bouncing, my hands move like they’re holding my needles, and I start to sink deeper into my thoughts. When something stabs me in the arm, my whole body jerks with alarm.

“Ahhh,” I shout, and swing my head in the direction of the fucker who jabbed me. I’m expecting Dylan or another of the drunk goons from inside, but instead I see a tiny human dressed as a pirate.

The kid’s just a smidge over three feet, so he’s probably around four years old, and he’s wearing a black plastic vest and Spiderman underwear. On his head is a plastic pirate hat, on his feet are a pair of Spiderman rain boots, and in his hand is a fucking sword.

It’s made of cardboard, but it’s still a fucking sword.

And the kid is scowling at me. What the hell did I do? He’s the one who stabbed me. With a fucking cardboard sword.

“Ahoy there, Dread Pirate Roberts,” I say in my best pirate voice, but the kid doesn’t say anything. I don’t even know if he’s blinked yet, but his eyes are kind of big. They’re definitely the biggest thing on his face. “How fare the seas?” I try again. “Cap’n Blackbeard says he saw some merpeople off the coast…of…somewhere...”

He blinks!

“Seriously, though, kid, aren’t you cold?”

Nothing.

“Where’s your, like, parents? Or grandparents? The people in charge of you, where are they?”

He still doesn’t speak, so I stand and start to shrug out of my coat.

“Here, kid, take my jacket and we’ll find your, uh, crew? First mate?” I move to drape my coat over his shoulders when a woman comes rushing up behind him.

“Jude,” the woman yells, voice equal parts anger and relief. Then she drops down on her knees in front of the kid and throws a blanket over him. “Jesus, Jude, you’re gonna freeze your toes off.” She stands and picks him up. “What did I tell you about leaving the house?”

“Not Jude,” the kid growls, and I watch as the woman closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Captain Meatball,” she says tightly, and I have to hold back my laugh. “What did I tell you about leaving the house?”

“Don’t do it without you or Doonie.”

“Correct. So why are you out here? It’s eleven at night and forty degrees. You’re supposed to be in bed.”

Captain Meatball shrugs and points to the fire pit behind me. “I wanted ‘mores.”

The woman looks up to see what he’s pointing at, but her eyes run straight into mine, because I’m staring hard. Her eyebrows shoot up, as if she didn’t even realize I was standing here until just now, so I give her my most reassuring bedside manner smile. The one I use on patients when I’m volunteering at the hospital. She visibly relaxes, and my smile grows.

The orange flames from the fire pit create just enough light that I can make out her features. I can’t tell what color her eyes are, but they’re big, just like the kid’s. Her face is shaped like a heart, and her upper lip looks like it’s got a perfect Cupid’s bow. Her nose is tiny and slightly upturned. When she blinks, her eyelashes add to the shadows on her cheeks, and her dark hair is thrown up on top of her head in one of those crazy bun-things that Bailey and Ivy like. I quickly let my eyes scan the rest of her. She’s wearing a huge purple hoodie, grey sweats, and flip flops. Basically, she’s dressed like most of the students of campus during finals week.

“Sorry, ma’am,” I say smoothly. “Meatball didn’t mention he wanted s’mores. I could have found him some.”

“No,” she stutters, then squeezes her eyes shut and gives her head a little shake. “It’s fine. I’m sorry if he bothered you.”

“I didn’t!”

“He didn’t.” The kid and I protest at the same time.

“Still,” she says, “he shouldn’t be out here.”

“It’s fine, really,” I assure her. “I’ve never met a real live pirate before.” I flash the kid a grin and he gives me one right back, nose scrunched up in that fucking adorable way only kids can pull off.

The woman laughs, and the sound hits me deep in my chest. It’s not a tinkling sound, like Ivy’s giggle, and it’s not a sarcastic bark like Bailey’s. It’s more...I don’t know. Full. Musical. And kind of raspy. And kind of tired. She only does it once, and I have to swallow the urge to make her do it again. She gave me one note, but I want a whole scale.

“Right, well,” she says on a sigh, “Meatball needs to go back to bed.” She nods toward the fire. “Enjoy your night.”

The woman, with the miniature pirate still hoisted on her hip, turns and walks toward the neighboring townhouse—not the one Riggs’s house is attached to, but the one just across the yard. The kid waves at me with his sword, and I salute him. His smile makes me chuckle.

I watch until the woman reaches the dimly lit cement patio and opens a sliding glass door. She steps into the house, and just before she slides the door closed, she smiles softly and sends me the wave that I didn’t know I was waiting for. I smile and wave back, then sink down into my lawn chair.

“Who was that?” Kelley asks, and I look up to find him and Ivy watching me. Ivy’s got a little smile on her lips, which has me realizing I’ve got one on mine, too.

I shrug it off. “Captain Meatball and his first mate.”

“She was pretty,” Ivy adds.

I hum in response, just as Dylan comes stumbling from the house and throws his drunk ass into a lawn chair.

“Dyl, who is your neighbor?” Kelley asks casually, gesturing to the townhouse across the yard.

Dylan squints toward the house. “You mean the hot mom?”

“The hot mom?” I repeat. It didn’t register that she could be the kid’s mom. I assumed babysitter or something, but the eyes... Those big eyes that they both had. It makes sense.

“Yeah,” Dylan pushes out as his eyes drift closed. Dude’s gonna pass out. “Moved in last month. Zay and Riggs helped her unload a U-Haul.”

“Huh,” I say, and flick my eyes back to the house. The lights are off but for a soft glow coming from a second-floor window.

I bet that’s her room.

The hot mom.

Nothing Feels Better, a standalone, single parent age gap romance in the Better Love series, is available now in KU and audio!