No Chance by Lisa Suzanne
CHAPTER 12: HANNAH
I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone with such a get shit done attitude. Danielle is not just my new best friend, but she’s organized and here to help me.
I could not be more grateful.
I already have someone on this crazy ride who I can trust, and I don’t trust easily. But when she called a funeral home to plan my sister’s funeral without knowing a damn thing about me, it meant something to me. My entire life, the only person who has ever been in my corner with me was Brie, and that has led to some serious trust issues on my part.
I feel like I’ve found someone I can confide in with Danielle. It may take me time to open up to her, but I guess there are just some people who step into your life just when you need them, and that’s how it feels with her.
Mina is probably the closest thing I have to a friend these days, and it’s wholly because I shut myself off from allowing friendships. People tend to leave me be because of that.
But not Danielle.
When I’m getting overwhelmed, she senses it and does exactly what I need her to do without having to ask anything of her.
Like with planning Brie’s services, or with entertaining Chance while I settled the great sweater debate of the day (ultimately I went with purple over green), or with how many diapers we’ll need so we can get through the next few weeks. From the most complex issues life offers to the silliest, she’s run the gamut with me today, and I truly feel my life changing before my very eyes.
We get a crib that will fit on the bus plus a pack and play for the nights we’re in hotels. We get baby clothes and toys to occupy a nine-month-old. We stock up on formula and baby wipes and Cheerios and introductory solid foods.
We shove all the bags into an Uber and when we get back to my apartment, I send a group email to each of my professors and a separate one to my advisor.
And then I call Hank while Danielle feeds Chance.
“Hannah Hartman. You calling to ask for another night off?” he answers gruffly.
“More like the next hundred nights,” I say simply. I’m met with stunned silence, so I go on. “I quit.”
“You...what?” he asks, his voice incredulous.
“I quit. Effective immediately.”
“But we need you, Hannah,” he says.
“It never really felt like you did, Hank. Thanks for the memories.”
I hang up. Now that felt good.
I call Mina next. “Hey babe,” she answers, and she sounds like she’s out of breath. She always sounds like that. She has five kids. “What’s up? You need me to cover for you?” Screaming children fill the background with noise.
“Nope,” I say. “I just called Hank and told him I quit.”
“You did?” Her voice is incredulous, too.
“I’m going on tour with Capital Kingsmen, I guess,” I say.
She sighs. “Girl...I’m jealous AF.”
I grunt out a chuckle—still not a laugh, because I think that will take some time yet, but it’s better than the despair. “Don’t be. I hate their music.”
She laughs so loudly I have to pull the phone from my ear. “Well don’t forget about us little people, okay?”
“You’ll never be little to me, Mina.”
“I love you, girl. Have fun and try to smile once in a while. Being so serious all the time isn’t good for anybody and it’ll just give you hemorrhoids.”
“Gross. And I love you, too.” We end the call, and as much as we say the words I love you, I don’t really know how true they are. We would laugh together at work, and we’d cover for one another, but we never got together outside of the bar. We weren’t friends, really. We were work friends. We were two people who really didn’t love our jobs and bonded over that fact whenever we could.
And that’s it. She’s the only one I’m really leaving behind as I embark on this adventure.
An hour later, a man I’ve not yet met but who looks vaguely familiar is standing at my door when Danielle opens it.
“This is Karl, Capital Kingsmen’s manager,” she says. “He’s here to help get all your stuff into the big van he rented and over to the bus lot.”
The manager. Right. He’s the one who was yelling at me that night of the meet and greet to move the line along. I can’t fault him for doing his job.
“Nice to meet you,” Karl says. “Sorry about...well, everything.”
I press my lips together. “Thank you.”
Two hours later, we pull into a parking lot with five buses, and I feel like I’ve stepped out of my own life and into someone else’s. The van comes to a stop, and I sit in my seat staring out the window for a minute. I knew this was happening, but it didn’t feel real until this moment right here.
“Five buses?” I murmur.
“Tyler and I share one with our daughter. Dustin and Amanda have one with their baby. Two crew buses, and then yours. You, Chance, Brett, and Tommy.”
I don’t know much about this band. All I know is that I don’t care for their music and that most of these men make headlines for their bad behavior. At least I know that’s true of Brett, who spent one night doing my sister and never got in touch with her again.
This is a terrible idea, but what choice do I have? I could run away, deny my sister of her final wishes and fight for every penny while I try to raise a child who doesn’t legally belong to me, or I could suck it up and give this a try. At the worst, it’s three months out of my life. Either way, my life’s going to change at the end of this, but that was inevitable the moment a car crashed into Brie’s.
I grab Chance’s car carrier and follow Danielle out of the van. Karl sets to work on moving the stuff we packed as our essentials while she leads me toward the bus that’ll be my home for the next three months.
She types a code onto a panel by the bus door then she walks up some steps, and I follow behind her with Chance’s carrier weighing down my arm. I climb a few steps up toward where the driver sits, and then I turn and take in my new home.
“Holy shit,” I whisper. I stare at the front of the bus in total awe.
Couches line the two bus walls with a walkway down the middle. Televisions hang above each side of the bus, so no matter where you’re sitting, you can see one. Another one is perched directly behind the driver’s seat. What do they need three TVs for?
A small table comes out of the wall on the right and sort of acts as a separator between the front section of the bus and whatever is behind the door leading to the next section. Four chairs sit around the table, and I wonder if one of those will be outfitted with the little toddler seat Danielle suggested I buy in lieu of a highchair. On the left is a kitchenette, complete with a counter, sink, microwave, single burner stovetop, coffee pot, miniature oven, and refrigerator. I’m curious to explore the cabinets and drawers and whether we’ll eat our meals here on this bus or how that works. The only logistical meals I even thought about were for Chance, not for myself...though Danielle did suggest I bring some snacks along, so I got my favorite splurges since it was on Brett: Twizzlers and Cheez-Its.
“So this is where you’ll probably hang out most often,” she says. “It’s like the kitchen and family room of a regular house. Through here are the bedrooms.”
I set down the carrier and take Chance out. I set him on my hip and carry him through the first bedroom. A queen bed takes up one side of this section of the bus, and a curtain hangs by the headboard but it’s currently pulled open. A track tells me that it does swing closed for privacy. On the other side of the walkway is a dresser with a TV hanging above it and a stand-up wardrobe that serves as a closet. The dresser is covered in stuff: papers and notebooks, half-drunk water bottles, black sharpie markers, and a stack of headshots. Clearly whoever lives in this part of the bus—likely Tommy Stevenson since that’s whose face is in the headshots—has zero concerns about his things shifting in transit.
“This is Tommy’s room. On most buses, this is where the bunks would be, but Brett and Tommy specially designed this one so they could each have their own love den.” She laughs at the description, but honestly it only serves to scare me a little.
Just before the next door is a small desk, and I can’t help but wonder if Tommy or Brett sits there writing their next hits as they travel around the country. It’s sort of a romantic, dreamy thought, anyway. The way Danielle makes it sound, the desk is probably just another humping post.
I wrinkle my nose at the thought.
Across from the desk is a bathroom, and then Danielle opens the next door. “And this is Brett’s room. Now your room, too, and Chance’s—at least on the nights when we don’t have a hotel booked. And trust me, you’ll really look forward to hotel nights.”
I glance around at our new digs. Another queen bed—this one is made, at least. Another dresser. Another television. A little more breathing room than the hallway we walked through to get here. I see an empty space where Chance’s crib will go. It seems like it’ll work...except I’m not sure where I’m supposed to sleep. The bed is Brett’s, not mine. Maybe the couches up front? But that hardly seems like a place to get rest.
Some guy I’ve never seen before comes through with the crib and gets to work on setting it up in the space I’d just looked at.
“Thank you,” I say.
“This is Mack,” she says, nodding toward him. “One of my favorite roadies.” He glances up at her and laughs, and she laughs along with him, like it’s some inside joke. She turns back to me. “The band has a private event tonight. Come to it with me.”
I shake my head. “Oh, no, I couldn’t. What would I do with Chance?”
“Amanda will watch him. She’s got my Luna right now. She’s amazing with kids and a brand-new mom. We help each other out, and now you’re part of that club, too.”
I shake my head. “It’s a nice offer, but I think we just need to get used to this whole idea for a minute.”
“I understand,” she says, and if she’s disappointed, she keeps it to herself.
“So we’re staying in a hotel tonight?” I ask.
She nods. “Anytime we’re in a city for more than a single night, we book a hotel. You’ll stay with Brett. I need to get ready for tonight, so I’ll leave my number and you text me if you need anything. A car will swing by to take you to the hotel in a few hours. The driver will have your key. In the meantime, there’s a deli down the street if you need something to eat or you could wait and get something at the hotel.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
She heads out, and the crew members move all around me as they move our belongings onto this bus, our new home on wheels.
I still haven’t seen Brett, but even if I had...what the hell am I getting myself into here?
