Wrong Side of the Tracks by Ashley Zakrzewski
ChapterSeven
I throw myself into my new job. When I get home in the evenings, I’m so exhausted that I just fall into bed. Despite sleep calling, I stay awake. I haven’t heard from Liam since the day he walked out of my apartment, and I’m too scared to call him. He made it pretty clear that he isn’t interested in staying connected, and I don’t want to break all over again. So I stay away.
At least I have things to keep me busy. On the weekend, with two whole days to get dragged down without the escape of work, I decide to repaint my apartment. I buy buckets and buckets of paint, and I pull all my furniture to the center of the rooms. My living room gets a coat of a light blue color, and I paint the bedroom in a green that the salesperson said was supposed to be calming. I kind of think it looks like something you’d find in a hospital, but I cover my walls with it anyway. I barely even notice that the sun has gone down when I’m finished painting, and when I take a shower to wash the paint out of my hair, I almost fall asleep right there in the shower. My muscles are aching, but it feels good to finally be tired. I fall asleep on the couch in front of some crime show on the TV.
One day after work, I stop by the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. I’m on my way out when I hear someone calling my name. When I turn toward the voice, I see Amelia waving at me. I suppress a groan and walk over to her.
“Amelia,” I say. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“And you, dear Eva,” she says and pats me on the shoulder. “I have to say, it was so nice seeing Liam and you again. Just like old times.”
I swallow. She doesn’t know what we are, or what we aren’t. “Yeah, it was good seeing him again. I guess you’re going to miss him when he leaves in a couple of days.”
Amelia looks at me, a little bit taken aback. “In a couple of days?” she asks. “He left the other day, didn’t he tell you?”
He didn’t even stay with his mom for the remainder of his time here? He wanted to get away that bad? “Oh,“ I say. “No, he didn’t mention that.”
“I’m sure he’s just been busy. Said he had some things to take care of and needed to head back. I’ll see him again soon, I’m sure.” Amelia says. “I won’t hold you any longer, dear. Say hello to your parents for me, will you?”
I nod and walk to my car. As soon as I get behind the wheel, I start crying. Damn it. How did I end up here? I lived without him for fifteen years, and now I’m a mess after seeing each other for less than two weeks. Pathetic. I take a deep breath and start the car. I won’t cry any more. I won’t. I’m going to move on and live my best life. And if Liam doesn’t want to be a part of that, then that’s his loss. I just have to keep telling myself that.
* * *
I get a call from Joanna on Saturday afternoon. I haven’t seen my friend since that day Liam and I got coffee at her café, and it’s good to hear her voice.
“Come out for a drink with me tonight,” she says. “Martin has the kids and I really need to do something. It’s been ages since we did something, you and me.”
I hesitate, not really in the mood to go to the only bar in town. It’s going to be packed with people and I’m not exactly feeling festive. But then I remember my promise to myself. To live my best life. “Okay,” I say. “I’m in.”
I pull on a pair of dark jeans and a purple top, swiping some mascara on my lashes. I run my fingers through my curls, and take a quick look in the mirror before meeting up with Joanna. Good enough.
She has her long hair in a high ponytail, dressed in a flowy red dress. As soon as she spots me, Joanna runs over and gives me a hug. Her good mood is contagious, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to come out with her.
“It’s so good to see you, Eva,” she says as she lets go of me. “Now, let’s go inside. First round’s on me.”
The bar is crowded but it’s still early, so we manage to get a table. Joanna orders us both a drink and asks me how I’ve been. I try to keep things upbeat, so I tell her all about my new job. At least that part of my life is good.
“That’s amazing, good for you.” She puts a hand over mine, and she really does look happy for me. “Your boss sounds pretty awesome.”
“She really is,” I say. “I think I’m going to learn a lot from her.”
“You’ll be running the company in no time.”
I laugh, and it feels so good. When was the last time I laughed?
We talk about her business, and about her kids, and for a moment I get to just be. I really need to make more of an effort with my friends, sitting there with Joanna is making me feel a little bit less alone. But of course, the good times can’t last forever.
“So, I’m sensing that we’re skirting around a certain subject here,” Joanna says and takes a sip from her drink. “What’s happening with you and Liam? I’ve seen you guys around town, you were looking pretty cozy to me.” She winks at me, but she must sense that I’m not exactly up to talk about it, because her face instantly turns serious. “Eva, what did I miss?”
I almost tell her that there’s nothing to talk about, that it’s no big deal. But I can’t. So I tell her. I tell her about us running into the grocery store that first day, and the time we spent together after that. Joanna doesn’t interrupt, she just lets me talk.
“I just feel stupid,” I say, forcing myself not to cry in the middle of the bar. “I knew he was only in town for a short amount of time. I knew we had an end date. And still…”
“You started to think that he might stay,” Joanna fills in. “That’s not pathetic, Eva. You can’t help how you feel. And it’s not like he’s some random guy you just met. There’s history there. I remember what you two were like back in the day. And I remember what a mess you were when he left town. No matter how many years have passed since then, those feelings are still there. It would be strange otherwise.”
I shrug. “Maybe. I had allowed myself to see a different future for myself. With the new job, with my new excitement for everything. I was just hoping Liam would be part of that future too.”
“I know, sweetheart.” Joanna reaches over and wipes a tear from my cheek. I didn’t even realize that I had started to cry. “It’s a lot to uproot the life you’ve built for yourself just like that. Liam has his job in the city, his apartment and friends. But I don’t want you to think he left because he doesn’t care about you. I didn’t really talk to him when he was here, but I saw you two together. The way that man looked at you was speaking volumes. He cares about you, Eva. At least there’s that.”
“So why did he just run off like that?” I ask, my voice breaking on the last word. “Why not at least talk to me, why not discuss it like adults? We’re not twenty years old anymore, Joanna.”
“No, we’re not. Give it some time, okay? Maybe the two of you can talk again soon, when the dust settles.”
“Even if we do, it doesn’t change the fact that he left me. Again.”
Joanna opens her mouth, about to speak, but then she closes it again. She’s looking at something behind me, and in the next moment I hear a familiar voice.
“But I’m not staying away for fifteen years this time.”