Sheriff’s Pregnant Ex by Leslie North

6

Brian gave Aurora a wave as he entered the diner a week later. His eyes scanned the restaurant for Caitlin, but she was nowhere to be seen. She was at work, though. He knew she’d left early that morning.

With the rodeo only a week away, he was working even longer hours than usual, so he only saw her briefly in the morning and some evenings when he’d find her watching television in his living room. They’d speak a few polite words about their days and that was it. He didn’t love that, but he could live with it because it seemed to be what Caitlin wanted.

Brian removed his hat and made his way to where four women already sat waiting for him. He didn’t really have time for a lunch meeting this week, but he needed to speak to the group regarding some issues related to the upcoming rodeo. They represented the organizations that were helping with parking and getting attendees to the rodeo grounds. And since there were security and traffic issues at stake, his sister-in-law—in her role as the mayor’s secretary and the de facto organizer of the charity rodeo—had tapped him to meet with them.

Amy was busy herself with all the other details of the event and nursing a broken heart. Brian shook his head at that situation. He’d known that Amy getting involved with their rodeo-riding half-brother would only end in tears. But Amy needed support, not “I told you so”s, so he kept his thoughts to himself. And unlike his twin, who had confronted Cal in a bar, he kept his fists to himself, too. Brian’s only part in it had been breaking up the barfight between Jake and Cal and throwing them both in jail for the night. Feuding brothers wasn’t what he needed right then considering everything else he had to get done.

“Howdy, ladies,” he said when he reached the reserved table and claimed the last seat. “Thanks for meeting with me. I know you’ve all got lots to do.”

They greeted him politely, but he hardly heard them as he saw Caitlin come from the kitchen. She caught his eye and smiled, a heartfelt, genuine smile that went right through him. She held up a finger to indicate that she’d be right there, and a moment later she was standing by his table.

“Hi. I’m Caitlin, and I’ll be taking…Mom.” Her voice cracked on the last word as her smile faded.

“Caitlin. I’m glad to see you back in town.” Hailey Baker’s smile was cool, almost brittle, as she looked her daughter up and down. “Always good to see a woman return to where she belongs.”

Brian might have thought Hailey’s words seemed welcoming enough if he hadn’t seen Caitlin’s wince. Reserve, even distance seemed to be the norm for Hailey Baker. What surprised Brian, though, was that this appeared to be the first encounter between the two since Caitlin returned to Darby Crossing. He knew their relationship wasn’t good, but this interaction suggested it was far worse than he imagined.

“What can I get you all?” Caitlin asked with her notepad in her hand. “Today’s special is turkey club with seasoned fries.”

Brian eyed her. She’d reverted to a completely professional stance, even managing a small, stiff smile as she took each person’s order. She didn’t quite meet his gaze, though.

Hailey sighed and gave him a pinched smile. “I’ve missed my daughter so much,” she said and leaned closer to him across the table. “I’ve asked her countless times to give up this attempt at independence in Austin and come back to Darby Crossing. I think things can be better for her here.” Brian didn’t know what things Hailey referred to, but he nodded along, figuring it was best to be polite and noncommittal. “I heard she’s staying at your house,” Hailey added.

“She’s renting my spare room,” he explained, not wanting it to sound as though they were shacked up together. He didn’t need that kind of rumor circulating in town.

“So sweet of you, but you always were good to her, even back in high school. I’m glad she has you as a friend,” Hailey said and turned to the woman next to her.

Caitlin’s mother seemed sincere. Maybe she’d become less self-centered in the past few years. And since he had no trouble identifying with missing Caitlin when she was gone, he was inclined to take her words at face value.

After the meeting ended, he spent the afternoon and early evening reviewing with his deputies their placements and roles for the weekend of the rodeo. He had faith in Sofia Alvarez, his chief deputy sheriff. His other veteran deputies weren’t a worry either, but his newest hire had Brian ready to reach for the roll of Tums in his desk drawer.

Mack Kilpatrick was young and enthusiastic, which would be a plus if it didn’t lead him into trouble so often. Add to that his fascination with girls and his killer crush on Sofia and Mack was a daily headache. His saving grace was his ability to deal with the office’s internet connectivity and get the laptops to communicate with the printer.

Maybe in time, he’d be a first-rate deputy. Brian was just hoping to have some lining in his stomach left when they reached that day. He left Sofia in charge of the overnight shift with his standing order to call him if any problems arose and headed home at about eight. Lights were on in his kitchen and in Caitlin’s bedroom, he noted, when he parked.

It was nice to come home to someone, nice to come home to her. True, she wasn’t staying past a few months, and their relationship was…limited, but it still gave him a warm feeling to know she was there, at least for now.

He let himself in the front door. “Just me,” he called, not knowing where she was in the house and not wanting to frighten her. He heard footsteps overhead and then he saw her coming down the stairs. She had on a tank top and shorts that left plenty of leg to admire.

“I want to talk to you,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest as she reached the bottom step. Her expression, when he could tear his eyes away from her legs, made it clear that he had screwed up in some way. Shit. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. What had he done?

“Okay, but I need dinner, so talk to me in the kitchen.” He led the way and washed his hands at the sink before opening the fridge and evaluating the contents. He’d had the turkey club special at the diner, but that had been long ago. He needed food, but he found himself reaching for a beer first and then the makings for a sandwich. He wasn’t in the mood to fuss with cooking, and if Caitlin was looking for an argument, he didn’t expect his mood was going to improve anytime soon.

“Can I make you one?” he asked as he layered cheese on top of roast beef.

“No, thanks.” Her tone was flat.

Okay, then. She waited, leaning against the doorjamb until he’d prepared his sandwich. He could tell she was simmering; the tension in the air was palpable.

“What do you want to talk about?” He took a seat at the kitchen table and pulled out the chair next to him for her, feeling a little surprised when she sat.

“My mother,” she said as soon as her butt hit the seat. “Why didn’t you warn me that she’d be in the diner today? You obviously knew—I could tell it was a planned meeting.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Don’t you realize how I feel about her?” Caitlin demanded. Obviously not well enough, he wanted to say, but commenting would just escalate the situation. “She’s…she’s just so awful. I never come to town because I don’t want to see her or my father.” Her fingers picked at a scratch in the wooden tabletop.

Through her brother, Brian was familiar with some of the tension in the family, but he wondered exactly how it had affected Caitlin. When they were dating in college, she’d avoided talking about her parents, which he supposed was telling.

“I thought you understood that I don’t have a good relationship with them.” There was both anger and sorrow in her voice. “Don’t you remember what it was like when her friends came in, my first day on the job? You should have warned me she’d be there, or better yet had the stupid meeting someplace else.”

He drank a swig of his beer and let silence descend, waiting for her to finish. When she didn’t offer any more, he had to put questions to her. “You never really wanted to talk about your relationship with them, remember? And I respected that—still do. But if you want me to understand, you’re going to have to give me more to go on. Tell me what she did to you as a kid. What made it so awful?” He needed information to help him understand the situation. If she really wanted him to understand, that is.

Caitlin huffed. “She didn’t abuse me physically if that’s what you’re asking. But she…she told me every day how selfish I was. If I asked for anything like art supplies or books, she told me that I always wanted too much. And if I had a poor grade or misbehaved in any way, she called me ungrateful. She never cared about anything that mattered to me—she only cared about making herself look good. I got new clothes when I’d outgrown mine—clothes that she picked out, without even bringing me along. I got food that never took into consideration what I liked or even what I was allergic to. I got a roof over my head because the neighbors would have talked if she’d kicked me out of the house. She gave me the bare minimum of what I needed and couldn’t have cared less about what I wanted. She was demeaning and cruel and my father never stood up to her, never once defended me. He was too busy in his own world. I couldn’t wait to get away from them. I can’t…I can’t be around them.” Caitlin shuddered and rubbed her hands down her bare arms.

He wanted to wrap her in a hug, warming her and taking away the sting of the past, but he didn’t think she’d welcome that. “I’m sorry, Caitlin.” Tears brimmed in her eyes, but they didn’t fall. He figured only her anger was holding them back.

“Dealing with her friends at the diner is bad enough,” Caitlin said. “They’re catty and backstabbing, but she’s worse. And her veneer of niceness and concern is paper thin.”

“I wish you’d told me all of this before now.” His food sat on his plate forgotten. “You kept so much to yourself. How was I supposed to know you needed a warning before seeing your mother at the diner?” He controlled his tone, but he wanted an answer to that question. Why hadn’t she trusted him with the truth?

“I thought you knew me better.” Her brown eyes, always serious, seemed dark and bottomless.

“I guess not,” he said, feeling out of his element. “Have you considered that you’re assuming the worst of her? Maybe she’s just bad at showing that she cares. She did say she was happy to have you home.”

Caitlin snorted. “Trust me, that’s just her way of adding on layers of guilt. She’s so skillful at that. God, I almost hate her at times.”

“I know family relationships can be difficult,” he spoke slowly, “but there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to have a few more minutes with my dad. Even if we fought like hell, it would be priceless to me.” He didn’t want to guilt-trip her, but it was true. He’d buried his father four years ago, and every day, he still wished for more time with him. He wanted the chance to say all the things that he’d never said, or even just to say that he loved him one more time.

And if his dad could walk through the sheriff’s office doors and say to Brian that it was good to see him and he was exactly where he should be, that would mean the world to him.

Caitlin’s hand closed over his arm and her expression softened. “I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to lose your dad like that. I know you were close. I thought of you and your family so much at the time.”

But she’d never reached out. Her brother had from overseas, but Caitlin had been silent, which to him was more evidence that she hadn’t cared deeply for him.

“Can’t change the past,” he said. It was a phrase he’d said to himself a million times. Someday he might believe it—and stop blaming himself for his own choices back then. Sheriff Holmes had wanted Brian to begin work as a deputy right after high school. If he’d done that, rather than going to college, he might have been in line to take over when Holmes retired and the position opened up. Instead, Holmes left office just as Brian was beginning his senior year, so the position had gone to Ike Sigsworth.

Sigsworth had been lax on so many things, letting any number of misdemeanors slide if the person committing them happened to be a friend—and he and Brian’s older brother, Luke, had been close. As a result, Brian’s brother had gotten away with speeding and being reckless—including that night when Luke had been behind the wheel with their father in the passenger seat when the car had spun out of control. If Sigsworth had cracked down and enforced the law, maybe the tragedy that took his father and brother wouldn’t have happened.

“I know that,” she said, and he wondered briefly if they were talking about more than his father. “It would be nice if we could. But your dad was a good man, and your mom is the best. You had a loving and caring household. Ethan always said he was happier the year he lived with your family than he had ever been before. I think it’s what inspired him to get away and forge his own path. Joining the army was the best way for him to do that.”

“Which left you to take the brunt of your parents’...” He stopped himself from calling it abuse because he wasn’t sure how she might react to that. He knew, though, from his experience investigating situations involving kids, that there were many forms of child abuse.

She shrugged. “Anyway,” she said, rising. “I can’t truly understand your upbringing and you can’t mine, but we can say that they were nothing alike. I don’t need you to see things my way. Whatever your opinion is of my mother is your business. But next time, I’d appreciate some warning if you know she is coming to the diner.”

“Will do,” he said, wishing he could pull her in for a hug, but her emotions seemed too raw and his weren’t much better. He felt relief when she left the kitchen, and he had no desire to cross paths with her again that evening.

As much as he wanted to take a shower and go to bed after his long day, he turned on the television to a baseball game. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, not after the conversation they’d had.