Tortured Sinner by Tessa James

Claire - 33

Ipace Johnny’s foyer while I wait for him to arrive. Each minute is longer than the last, but the second the doorknob turns, and his gorgeous face appears, it’s like the world slows and time halts and all is right in the universe.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried I’d never see him again. His job is dangerous enough when his boss isn’t plotting against him to fail. It’s been incredibly nerve-wracking not knowing how he would react to actually seeing that package in Johnny’s possession.

“You’re okay.” I rush to wrap my arms around him, nearly knocking him down in the process.

He embraces me and kisses the top of my head. “I am.”

And like he had done to me earlier, I break away from him and motion to his stomach. “Um?”

Johnny fumbles to pull the same daunting package out and tosses it onto the counter. “He told me to keep it.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t really care. Not right now.” Johnny pulls me to him, his body finally able to get closer to mine without the package being there to interfere. He runs his hand up along my neck, resting in the spot just on the side of my face. “All I could think about was getting back to you.”

“Yeah?” My voice is barely a whisper.

Johnny leans forward and gently grazes our noses together, his mouth skimming mine. “Yeah.”

I push forward, not wanting to waste any more time without being as close to him as possible. I press my lips against his and drag my fingers up under his shirt.

The softness of the initial kiss fades into a frenzy of heated passion with our tongues desperately dancing together.

I didn’t know it was possible to crave someone so intensely.

He runs his hand down my torso and grips my waist, while keeping the other tangled in my hair.

I grasp the hem of his shirt and drag it over his head.

“Claire,” he says breathily.

I continue kissing him, not wanting it to ever end. I reach for my own top and he stops me.

“Claire,” he repeats, this time louder.

“Did I do something wrong?” I don’t understand. I really thought we were on the same page here.

“No, never.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “It’s just…”

“Are you not attracted to me?”

Johnny chuckles. “That’s definitely not it.”

“Then why do you keep shutting me down?” I fight back tears I didn’t realize were forming. His resistance seems like some sort of rejection. Maybe I’ve gotten all the signals crossed and he’s not into me the way I think he is. Which makes no fucking sense at all considering everything we’ve been through.

His green gaze studies my face. “I don’t want to, trust me, I don’t…I just…I don’t want to rush you.” Johnny wipes a rogue tear off my face that escapes. “You’ve been through so much, Claire. I want you to be sure.”

“But I am,” I tell him.

“You’re too important to me, and if we need to wait, we can.”

I try my best to keep my emotions from boiling over. “You could have died today.” I stare up at him. Something terrible could have happened to me earlier, too.

“I didn’t, though. And I don’t want that to be some default reason we do this.”

I shake my head. “No. I choose you, a thousand times over. Life is too short, especially now. I’m done waiting for the perfect time to do what I want. I’m finally living for myself, and I know with complete certainty that this is what I want. You are what I want.”

Johnny sighs, and it’s like he’s internally battling with himself on what to do with the information I just gave him.

I run my hand across his cheek. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little bit.” He swallows and examines me once more. “You’re sure?”

“Without a doubt.”

He places his lips on mine, not wasting another second. Only this time, he kisses me in a manner he hasn’t before. With longing and desire and a pure thirst that only I could satisfy. Johnny grabs me by the waist and lifts me from the floor.

I wrap my legs around him and let him carry me out of the front of his place.

He continues caressing his tongue against mine each step of the way.

We stumble to his bedroom, the door swinging open and slamming into the wall. We giggle into each other and he drops me onto the foot of the bed.

I quickly remove my sweatshirt and toss it aside. I reach forward and unbutton his pants.

He glances at my bruised arms for a split-second before looking into my eyes. “You’re still sure?”

"Yes." I tug his jeans down over his growing erection, which reassures me he wants this, too. "Are you?" I lick my lips in anticipation of his response.

He pulls at my hands to bring me to my feet. Johnny slides my black T-shirt over my head, revealing my bare chest. He trails his lips along mine and down my neck, nipping at my breasts on his way to my panty line. He kneels before me to unbutton my shorts and drag them over my ass with my underwear in one motion. He kisses my thigh, gradually inching further in with hot breath along my skin.

I grip his head and drag him up to my face, no longer able to withstand his teasing anymore. I pull his remaining clothes off of him and drag him onto the same bed we have spent the last few nights cuddling on. I spread my legs and tug him on top of me, our mouths never breaking apart.

He blindly reaches over and opens his nightstand drawer. A second later, the sound of a wrapper appears.

Johnny breaks our kiss one last time.

Anticipating his question, I tell him, “I’m sure, I promise.”

You know those instances when you put such high expectations on something because you want it so bad, and when it finally happens, you’re left wondering what the hype was all about?

Well, this was nothing like that.

No, being with Johnny is…everything.

Take all of the super cheesy clichés and toss them into a blender and I doubt they would ever compare. I’m talking Earth slowing, mind-blowing, soul connecting, pure-fucking-bliss.

And that was only describing the first few seconds.

I arch my back, begging with my body for him to give me more.

Johnny stifles a moan against my lips, only driving my hunger for him that much more. He kisses me feverishly, and I match his intensity.

It doesn’t take long until we find our groove, grinding into each other like we’ve been doing this all our lives. With our seemingly natural connection, I’m not at all surprised. What I didn’t expect was for it to feel this damn good. Just when I think it can’t possibly get any better, he switches things up.

He wraps his arm around my waist, lifting and angling me toward him.

I dig my nails into his back in response to this new wave of pleasure at the slightly different position. It’s not much of an alteration but holy hell does it hit all the right spots.

His erection grinds against me, sending me higher and higher until I can barely hold on any longer.

He tugs at my lip with his teeth and pauses to whisper, “Let go.”

And with that simple command, I spiral into the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. The wave lasts longer than anything I could have imagined.

Johnny keeps thrusting all the way through, altering his pace and guiding me exactly where he wants me to go. Only, when my body stops shaking, he continues, somehow sending me right back to the starting line.

How can I be so eager for more when I’ve already been satisfied?

I force myself out of my head and right back here with him, noticing how his erection grows inside of me.

It’s as though he purposely wasn’t going to finish until I did, and now that I have, his desire builds that much more.

Which, if I’m being honest, fuels mine to heights that seem completely fictional.

I run one of my hands along his back and up his chest, finding its home on the side of his face, partially tangled in his hair. I grip it firmly and drag him closer. My breathing hitches, and I break away slightly. “Let go,” I tell him just like he had told me.

And with that, he stares into my eyes before powerfully bringing his mouth back to mine, kissing me more intensely than ever, his release coming almost simultaneously with my second one.

I thought the first was intense—it’s nothing compared to climaxing alongside him, his pulsing inside of me only heightening the sensation rippling through my body.

We slow our pace as each of us comes down from the insane high, our foreheads pressed against one another, our breaths ragged while we catch them.

Johnny carefully pulls himself out of me and collapses onto his back on the bed. He drapes his arm over his head. “That was…”

“Yeah,” I respond. Because whatever he’s about to say, I absolutely agree.

We lay there for a minute before he removes the condom and tosses it into the trash can by the nightstand.

He lowers himself back down and turns toward me. Carefully, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

It’s a simple gesture, and he’s done it a million times in the past, but now, it’s different, somehow more meaningful—like there’s a hidden message behind the softness of his touch.

I become mesmerized by his beautiful green eyes and desperately wish I could stay in this moment forever. And maybe for a little while, we can.

“Come here.” He holds his arm out for me and I inch closer.

Our still naked bodies intertwine, and I relax into the safety of his embrace.

* * *

When I wake, for a split-second I fear that this was all a dream. But feeling his skin against mine, I know my reality is better than anything my mind could conjure up.

He kisses the top of my head and nuzzles against me. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I breathe him in. “You hungry?” With everything that happened earlier, he hasn’t had a solid meal in a while, and if we stand any chance of actually getting any sleep tonight, we should probably get up, at least for a little bit.

Life is crazy and all, but we still have classes to attend this week if he wants to bring his grades up and I want to get that scholarship.

My stomach sinks. I hadn’t thought about the ramifications of my plan now that Johnny is part of it. I had come here with the notion that I would leave the moment the opportunity presented itself. There was nothing here for me other than an unfamiliar town and an estranged mother who doesn’t care about anything other than herself. Now, though, how could I ever imagine a life without him?

Everything I’ve ever known is back home. But what if he’s my home, too?

Johnny plants soft kisses on my face. “Starving.”

Maybe I won't get the scholarship. Maybe I won't have to make that decision at all. There are still a few more weeks until the announcement is made—anything could happen between now and then. A couple months ago, if someone told me I'd be taking my second year of classes out here, I'd have dreaded it. But with him, it won't be so bad. I guess I'll cross that bridge when it happens.

“What are you thinking?” he asks me.

Instead of answering, I press my lips to his and savor the simple fact that he’s here with me now. We played a game of cat and mouse for what felt like an eternity. It’s heaven to finally bask in being whatever we are.

* * *

We stand in his kitchen, fully clothed and ready to head over to Bram’s to catch a late-night dinner. The tainted package seems to glare at us with this big flashing neon sign.

"What's in it?" I glance over at him as the possibilities course through my head. Why would Franklin go to such lengths only to give it to him?

Johnny shrugs. “I’m not sure.” He takes my hand and guides me over to it.

We sort of stare at it like it might explode or morph into something else.

“Are you going to open it?” I ask him.

He exhales and grabs a pair of kitchen scissors from a drawer. Johnny pauses, and for a second, I don’t know if he’ll follow through with it.

I pick up the package and hold it for him.

“Moment of truth.” He slices through the top and takes it from me, dumping the contents out.

Stacks of hundred-dollar bills tumble on top of each other with bands marking a thousand-dollar denomination on them. There has to be at least a dozen of them. Outside of movies, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like this.

I look to Johnny and wonder what he’s thinking. I had some wild ideas of what might have been inside here, but this wasn’t one of them. Maybe some money—not this much.

Johnny doesn’t seem phased at all, but considering everything else he’s been through, I shouldn’t be surprised by his lack of reaction. Especially with the way he’s constantly insisting on paying for everything.

He shoves the stacks back into the envelope. “I’m just glad it wasn’t drugs. I don’t know what the hell I would have done with a bunch of cocaine.”

I side-eye him. “Was that a possibility?”

Johnny shrugs. “Honestly, I have no clue. With Franklin, I wouldn’t put anything past him. He never tells me what’s inside the packages.”

I hate that for Johnny, how he has to blindly follow Franklin’s orders and risk so fucking much to comply with his demands. Ignorance won’t save him if he gets caught with something illegal. Hell, most of the time it’s the runners that get punished, not the people actually in charge.

There's that age-old saying: good guys finish last.

I’ll do anything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen to Johnny. I won’t allow him to fall victim to Franklin’s corrupt ways.