Grand Lies by JC Hawke

36

Nina

I’m four months pregnant.

Four months.

I stare at the image in my hand, stare at the perfect life that is preparing itself for what? A perfect mother? A family? This isn’t how I wanted it to go.

The nurse told me the bleeding I experienced after the crash was most likely from the trauma and stress of the accident, but assured me the baby is healthy and that there was no need to be concerned.

Guilt fills me. The guilt that I missed it. The guilt for what I have put my body through these past few months. And the guilt to the life that I now have to guide when I have no clear path for us to go down.

The nurse told me they want to monitor me for the next forty-eight hours after I fainted, but I don’t want to leave. If I leave, I have to go to Lucy and Megan’s, and they are already fussing. Lucy is asleep in the corner, refusing to leave my side for a second, and I know the rest of them are in the corridor. I heard Elliot’s voice booming in the early hours, demanding he be let in. They eventually settled down, but it didn’t matter anyway because I haven’t slept a wink.

Mason isn’t here.

He hasn’t been here all night.

I hear a loud bang and then shouting outside the door, and I look across at Lucy as I jump but she doesn’t flinch. I close my eyes.

I don’t want to see him.

Gripping the sheet spread over me, I pull it tight, my throat burning as I prepare myself.

How do I do this?

The door flies open, and he falls through the door, the nurse and Megan at his back. “Nina.”

“You cannot be in here; she needs to rest,” the nurse tells him sternly.

I catch his frown, but as he brings his eyes back to me, I dip my head. It hurts too much to look at him.

He doesn’t deserve anything from me, but he needs to know about the baby. It’s not my reality to withhold.

“He can stay,” I tell the nurse, surprising myself when my voice doesn’t waver.

The nurse moves toward me, checking my blood pressure.

Lucy stirs, lifting her head from her shoulder. She sits up and spots Mason. Her posture stiffens. “You!” She is on her feet and over to him before I can speak. Her hand connects with his cheek with a solid whack.

“What the fuck!” he roars.

“Out! All of you. How dare you,” the nurse scolds, authority lacing her tone, but still she keeps a levelled voice.

“You will never! Never! Hurt her again,” Lucy grinds out, wiping her tears and stepping in front of me.

“What the hell is going on?” he spits, trying to look past Lucy.

I have to face him. Tell him I’m pregnant. I have to.

“Can you give us a minute? I promise I will keep calm,” I tell the nurse and nod at Lucy.

She dips her head to the side, her eyes shining.

“You have a minute,” the nurse tells Mason. “If I can hear you from out there, you are out. The lot of you. Never in my forty-four years have I seen anything like it!”

She leaves the room, and Lucy follows her, shutting the door slowly behind her.

Mason rushes me. “What happened? Scar wouldn’t tell me, she said she couldn’t.” He goes to grasp my hand, but I pull it away. “Baby, I’m sorry. I woke up in a hotel. I cut my head. I think I fell. I don’t know what happened last night.”

I pull the photos from under me, placing them between us. Not being able to look at him, I turn my head to look out the window.

My teeth are clenched so hard they hurt, and it does nothing to hold back the pain that threatens to bring me down.

“You’re pregnant?” he asks. “I… fuck. I’m the dad? We are pregnant?”

The ache in my heart becomes too much, and the first tear rolls down my face.

“No, I am pregnant. And of course, it’s yours.” My voice cracks as I utter the words.

I need to keep calm. I have to.

“Oh my god.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “And you’re okay?” He takes my hand again, and I pull away. “The baby?”

“Healthy.”

Leaning over, I pull my bag from the end of the bed, reaching in and pulling out the envelope. I thrust the images into his chest. “Here. Congratulations.”

My chest starts to rise and fall as he stands motionless at my bedside, the photos held tight in his hands as he observes them.

“What? I don’t understand. This isn’t me.”

“Don’t!” I scream, making him jump. “Don’t you fucking dare lie to me!”

“I’m not. Nina, this isn’t me.”

“Get out,” I say, deathly quiet.

His face hardens, panic flaring in his eyes. “No!”

“Get out! Get out of my life and stay the hell away from me. I hate you! I hate you so much it hurts because you have me now, you have me trapped for life, and I can’t leave. I hate you, Mason Lowell, with everything inside me.”

“Don’t say that. Let me fix this. This isn’t real.” He screws up the picture in his hand.

“Yes, it fucking is, Mason! It’s real. She is real. That is you.”

“I don’t understand. Give me a chance to figure this out, and I can explain.”

“Explain what? How you fucked a prostitute? Because if the picture wasn’t clear enough, the fact you never came home last night is explanation enough. Done! I am done!” I yell, my tears falling uncontrollably. “A stripper? You might as well have fucked my mother.”

“No, I didn’t sleep with anyone. I woke alone.” He tries to hold me, but I shove him off. “Stop! Please, I don’t want to upset you. Nina. You can’t leave me again.”

I lift my eyes to his face as his voice wavers. Tears stream down his face, dried blood lining his forehead and cheek, mingling with his tears.

He looks utterly broken.

“Nina, we are having a baby. Let me figure this out,” he pleads.

“No.” I hold his eyes, defiant, with tears spilling down my cheeks and matching his. “Believe me when I tell you, this is it. I can’t do this anymore.” I look away from him, tearing off the last two scan photos and pushing them into his chest. “Get out.”

“I didn’t do this. I didn’t do anything.”

“Leave!” A sob breaks through and my body quakes.

“Walk away from me now, Nina, without giving me a chance to explain, and I won’t ever forgive you for it. I won’t keep begging on my knees to keep you.” His voice is laced with anger, and I believe his every word.

For the first time in our relationship, his words hold the conviction they should.

“You think this is me leaving you? You ended this.” I gesture between us, wiping at my tears. “The minute her lips touched yours. Now, leave. Please, just go.”

“That’s it. We’re done?” He wipes his face and looks down at the scan photo in his hand.

“Yes.”

His chest visibly shakes as more tears fall down his face.

I can’t bear to look at him.

His lips meet my forehead, and I don’t move. I don’t breathe.

“You were everything I wanted and more. I promise you were enough.”

My tears fall heavy as the other half of my soul walks out of the hospital room, and it hurts more than anything ever has before because I know I won’t ever let him in again.

To be continued...